The Official Status Thread
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You see. Playing the lottery, at least for numerate people like TDWTFers is just an entertainment expense spent on daydreams about escaping jobs.
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Though to be pendantic, you have1 a chance at winning more with combinations that include one or more numbers higher than 31 (dates). Because the odds of splitting the jackpot will be lower.
1Though this is getting less prevalent in the era of auto-play. Approximately 75% of Powerball tickets sold are now auto-picks, so the "playing my family birthdays" tickets are getting less prevalent as time goes on
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I didn't say anything! The best thing about lottery is day dreaming. It actually is an exercise on probability for visitors.
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I do wonder about prng quality for autopick.
I feel like I should probably Random.org that.
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I do wonder about prng quality for autopick.
It's probably been farmed out to the lowest bidder, and therefore shit.
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Status:
Home sick, so I'm dicking around on Steam. There's like 5-6 games that have added cards and badges after I completed them. So that's annoying. Now I have to idle them to get the cards.
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Of winning or of winning lots of money? Because the latter depends on what other people are doing.
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My fluorescent lighting chuckles maniacally while vigorously masticating fresh beetles from Belgium.
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Good source of protein
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AFAIK, the money from lottery winnings simply "doesn't exist" to the tax bureau for one year. After that, the normal rules apply.
So if you blow it all in one year, you're fine?
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This should be a multiple choice poll, since clearly 2 and 3 are correct. Each individual combination has the same chance (in theory, assuming the selection is really fair, which it probably isn't totally, but close enough).
However, since very few drawings have happened relative to the total number of combinations, the vast majority of combinations haven't won, so the odds are much better that the winner will be one of those.
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PSA:
Brackets code editor is a complete piece of shit on Linux.
Slugish on small projects. No options menu to shut down some of the visuals. On a large project, CPU 100%, can't do anything. Have to kill each of its 7 processes separately from htop. Even when it works, it keeps throwing OS exceptions.
Fucking frontend guys love this stupid editor for some reason. Well, they'll have to use sublime text now, fuck 'em. I'm not losing more of my evening dealing with this garbage.
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Slugish
G, it sure feels like you're missing something there. But I can't quite put my finger on it.
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status
Last Thursday, during yet another postmortem with
(me), 
(junior dev), and 
(composite of two supervisors)(para-phrasing a bit)
Why did this project go 300% over budget?
There's a lot I didn't know about the code, and there was other people's code I had to learn.
... {thinking: and massive lack of knowledge of the .net framework, and coding in general)
If you had to do this project again, what would you do different?
....... nothing, it would still take me just as long because I would need learn the code.
....
.... {did he just say that?}
.... I mean-- if you had to do it again, but had the knowledge of the code and pitfalls you have now, how long would it take you?
Same amount of time. It is very complex code.
You're expected to know this code by now.
But it's all learning. You have to accept that it will take me longer to do changes while I learn, or I have to learn on my own time.
.... {YES, LEARN TO DO YOUR FUCKING JOB! LEARN TO USE THE FUCKING TOOLS OF YOUR TRADE!} ....
....
....
Okay, I think I have everything I need from this.Then as the meeting ends...
Hey, I see on the schedule on Monday you're going to QA a small change. Have you read the change request yet?
No
Well, are you familiar with (fundamental system concept)
Ummm... what's that?
Yeah, that's what I thought. It's one of the (list of fundamental system concepts) we talked about in the fall, that I told you that you needed to be familiar with. And at 10 months on the job, you should be familiar with these. That you aren't is worrying. So before Monday, make sure you're familiar with (that concept).
YesYesterday.
Hey Lorne I need help with this CR
{sigh} What?
I don't understand the concept of the CR.
What's not to understand. It's one paragraph. "This process inserted new records with a key. The change instead checks if the key exists, and updates the record instead of inserting a new one".
I still don't understand. Can you explain this (highly complex system concept that has nothing to do with the CR, but the key is based on).
No, I won't. You don't need to know that. Did you brush up on (fundamental system concept ) said you'd need to know?
No.
... then I don't know how I can help you. This is a 5 minute QA. Can you just look at the code and understand it.
I have the code on screen. What does it do?
You tell me. What does the code do?
{stares at screen for a minute} I don't know how to read this code.
...
...
...
Forget it. Give me the CR, I'll do it. You just watch the support inbox.That afternoon
{gets CR QA done in 5 minutes-- the process updates and inserts, just like it should{
{closes office door} So, based on what he said in that meeting, Tuesday will be last day. We just didn't do it on Friday because firing someone on the weekend is bad karma.Any minute now, he's going to be given his two weeks and walked out.
BONUS WTF
Usually when an employee is let go, they have to give back their office keys. But doesn't have office keys because he ACTIVELY REFUSED TO TAKE THEM. he said he'd be absent minded and lose them and didn't wan that responsibility. And if he happens to come in early, he'll just wait for someone else to open the office and let him in. I don't know how that wasn't a huge red flag right in the beginning.So sorry everyone, no more
stories.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
But
doesn't have office keys because he ACTIVELY REFUSED TO TAKE THEM. he said he'd be absent minded and lose them and didn't wan that responsibility.I feel like I have to ask. Did he have a MLP resume or interview in a t-shirt and old jeans?
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@Lorne_Kates said:
{closes office door} So, based on what he said in that meeting, Tuesday will be last day. We just didn't do it on Friday because firing someone on the weekend is bad karma.RIP @Lorne_Kates
INB4: yes, I realize it was just an emote-o
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I feel like I have to ask. Did he have a MLP resume or interview in a t-shirt and old jeans?
Nope. He wore a MLP costume, and his resume was silkscreened onto denim.
Also, he was the only one who interviewed at a time when were were desperate for another developer. We should have waited. He's provided a massive net-negative value overall.
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INB4: yes, I realize it was just an emote-o
I'm just brushing up on injecting typos while I prepare my next front-page article.
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Status: Still waiting for the job interview phone call that was scheduled for "Monday or Tuesday next week" last Thursday.
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take a shit in your boss' desk drawer, wipe your ass on his chair.
Nah. I'll go up to HQ and do that to a VPs desk. Maybe the CIO.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
BONUS WTFUsually when an employee is let go, they have to give back their office keys. But
doesn't have office keys because he ACTIVELY REFUSED TO TAKE THEM. he said he'd be absent minded and lose them and didn't wan that responsibility. And if he happens to come in early, he'll just wait for someone else to open the office and let him in. I don't know how that wasn't a huge red flag right in the beginning.It was, someone was just too fucking blind to see it.
"I can't be trusted with keys"
"Then we can't trust you with the systems that make us money. Thank you for your time, and we will not keep your resume on file in case there is an opening."
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@Lorne_Kates said:
Also, he was the only one who interviewed at a time when were were desperate for another developer. We should have waited. He's provided a massive net-negative value overall.
Filling a seat is not enough reason to hire a person. They need to be able to do something, besides be a boat anchor and/or comedy relief.
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Well, they'll have to use sublime text now
Throw Atom at them, they might like it... and it's libre.
@Lorne_Kates said:
doesn't have office keys because he ACTIVELY REFUSED TO TAKE THEM
Please, I don't want office keys either, I don't get paid for that. Hire a damn receptionist or two. We sure need some women around there.
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I sure do love that Discourse oneboxes video sites that try to autoplay and go full screen on mobile.
Guess I'm not looking at the Status thread for awhile from my phone now.
Status: Boss is going on vacation next week. Thinking the PM will start pestering me to work on a project that my boss explicitly said I'm not supposed to spend really any time on since we aren't making money from it (yet).
If the PM does push it, or gets pissy, my boss will probably have to cut his vacation short.
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Please, I don't want office keys either, I don't get paid for that. Hire a damn receptionist or two. We sure need some women around there.
Not wanting them is a lot different than:
@Lorne_Kates said:
he said he'd be absent minded and lose them and didn't wan that responsibility.
You said you did not want them. You are presumably responsible and competent enough to not lose them if you had to have them. And if not, I know you are smart enough to not say it.
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This reads like a conversation from Atlas Shrugged. Only with different outcome.
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Brackets code editor [...]
is a complete piece of shit.
You never learn people, NEVER!!!
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@Lorne_Kates said:
I'm just brushing up on injecting typos while I prepare my next front-page article.
Hah, if I could I'd like this post 1000 times.
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You are right, the excuse from
was dumb enough.
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for "Monday or Tuesday next week" last Thursday.
Are you sure they didn't mean Dwarf Fortress time and it's already been 10 years and the company's bankrupt already? Or even the people you talked to are dead?
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Do they seriously have ZERO SCREENSHOTS on their homepage?
WTFEDIT: Oh, I see. DisResponsive design.
Filed under: [We're so special, we need JS to show screenshots of our product](#why_exactly)
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Status: Running index autogeneration script against database because writing one of those was easier than forcing database developers to fucking create even the most fucking basic of Indexes.
Seriously. This shit interrogates the system tables and management views to intelligently decide what Indexes should be created or removed. It takes into account what other Indexes already exist. The access patterns. The types of data. The distribution of data. Partitions.
And it was easier to write than to affect a simple "no we aren't promoting that without Indexes" policy.
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Although, same applies to Sublime.
I guess the only modern hipster code editor that's even worth spending half a second with is belgium Atom, of all things.
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Throw Atom at them, they might like it... and it's libre.
NO! I'm tired of this project and the constant stream of fucking contractors and part timers I have to deal with.
If they want something, they can install it themselves.
Filed under: I need a vacation.
Please, I don't want office keys either, I don't get paid for that. Hire a damn receptionist or two. We sure need some women around there.
AHA!
So you think women are only good as receptionists, hmm?
They couldn't possibly be developers or designers or have any kind of creative role, hmmm!?
Should they make Mister Eldelshell a sandwich as he goes off to do his big important man job, hmmmmm!???###HHMMMMMM!??
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We have 5 women sitting in this development center. Of those, 3 are in Administrative roles, 1 is a manager and 1 is a FoxPro developer who is uninterested in learning and only around because this is WtfCorp and why would we discontinue the 2 surviving FoxPro shitheaps.
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Status: Still waiting for the job interview phone call that was scheduled for "Monday or Tuesday next week" last Thursday.
A dev position just opened up, if you can commute to Canada each day. Our office is located very close to an airport for small-to-medium sized crafts
Otherwise, there's no harm calling up whoever you submitted the resume to. "Hi, just following up to see if any decisions had been made on the position." A polite inquiry. Gives them a chance to politely admit that they forgot or got swamped with other work. Hiring and interviews often get pushed to the wayside. Plus it gives you a chance to demonstrate some initiative.
If they get huffy or pissy at a polite business communication, you want to stay the fuck away from that company anyways.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
if you can commute to Canada each day
Sure, I'd love a 9 hour drive each way to and from work.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
they forgot or got swamped with other work.
Well, the person interviewing me went to a different country over the holidays, and the company just released a new version of their main software, and released version 1.0.0 of another piece of software that they've been developing for a while.
I believe you worked with this company before, JJ.
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You got the country right, at least.
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Status:
Sometimes I feel like everybody at my company is a helpless infant. I can't even take a sick day without getting like 57 emails about all this stuff people need to do. And guess what? The answer always starts with, "as I told X last week," or "as I put on the Confluence documentation page," or "no, that API function doesn't work, don't you remember we discussed it with the 3rd party vendor last week?
And you guys were making fun of me for putting everything in Sharepoint, but if all these annoying useless infants just FUCKING WRITTEN IT DOWN when they heard it the first time, they wouldn't have to keep bugging me about it.
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Status: back on internet.
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And you guys were making fun of me for putting everything in Sharepoint,
Don't take it personally. We make fun of everyone that uses SharePoint and especially those that develop for it.
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Oh well I meant to type OneNote.
But still sure why not.
Although one of the questions was in the tool's documentation page on Confluence. Like exactly where you'd expect to see it.
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Should they make Mister Eldelshell a sandwich as he goes off to do his big important man job, hmmmmm!???
HHMMMMMM!??
Yes. No fucking sprouts this time and a blowjob to settle the food would be nice. You want to get ahead don't you? Well, this is how women get ahead.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
while I prepare my next front-page article.
Oooh, welcome back! We missed you dearly.
Filed under: I mean have you seen how the quality of the articles has gone to hell?
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@Lorne_Kates said:
if you can commute to Canada each day
Sure, I'd love a 9 hour drive each way to and from work.
At least it isn't a 2 hour commute.
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ruining a good joke.
