Work WTF
-
@Tsaukpaetra said in Work WTF:
@Tsaukpaetra said in Work WTF:
@Tsaukpaetra said in Work WTF:
Well, nope. You use Chrome. I meant that.
Oh. Well, the site doesn't work very well in IE6, and I don't have FireFox or Midori or whatever hipster browser you might think of here at work, so...
BTW, you're stellar work? What crazy hours do you work?!
I'm not sure what you're asking. I work when I can. This typically means ~10a-5p.
Well, you took that screenshot at 12 AM…
I... did? I thought it was like 3:15 or something quarter hour ago...
Well, it's half past midnight. I'm drunk but not that drunk!
Ah. I'd be more surprised when you ask that of me in about...nine hours or so?
-
Well, it's half past midnight. I'm drunk but not that drunk!
TIL when @kt_ gets drunk he forgets about timezones.
-
what are the benefits of a non-relational db and when is it a good idea?
short answer, if you're not facebook, its none, and never
-
@ben_lubar said in Work WTF:
What if you're making a desktop search app with random random functionality?
answer is still no
-
@candlejack1 said in Work WTF:
@ben_lubar said in Work WTF:
What if you're making a desktop search app with random random functionality?
answer is still no
-
despite being a highly qualified IT wonk with 20+ years experience, I work as a mechanic and chairlift driver in a ski resort.
Out of curiosity: How did that happen?
My imagination tells me that at some point you got fed up with IT and thought "Fuck it, I'm gonna be a stripper!". You then quit your job, had to realize you were too old to become a stripper and searched for a different job you might actually enjoy. Am I close?
-
@Maciejasjmj said in Work WTF:
Well, it's half past midnight. I'm drunk but not that drunk!
TIL when @kt_ gets drunk he forgets about timezones.
It somehow felt funny, to laugh at time zones yesterday. But now it doesn't anymore. Huh, interesting.
-
@Maciejasjmj said in Work WTF:
Well, it's half past midnight. I'm drunk but not that drunk!
TIL when @kt_ gets drunk he forgets about timezones.
It somehow felt funny, to laugh at time zones yesterday. But now it doesn't anymore. Huh, interesting.
Time changes
thingspeople.
-
My imagination tells me that at some point you got fed up with IT and thought "Fuck it, I'm gonna be a stripper!".
I keep telling people I'm going to move to Montana and become a cowboy at a dude ranch. Like the guy from that Billy Crystal movie. Or Francis from Malcom in the Middle.
What? I already know how to ride a horse.
-
what are the benefits of a non-relational db and when is it a good idea?
-
@FrostCat Link!
Why You Should Never Use MongoDB
Disclaimer: I do not build database engines. I build web applications. I run 4-6 different projects every year, so I build a lot of web applications. I see apps with different requirements and diff…
Basically the first result for "why you shouldn't use mongodb"
What that boils down to is that if the data you're modelling is such that you actually do need joins (which it will be more often than not), using a non-relational DB requires that you implement all that stuff by hand in your application instead of letting a DB engine that's really good at that kind of thing do it for you.
Stonebraker calls this "programming in database assembly language".
-
despite being a highly qualified IT wonk with 20+ years experience, I work as a mechanic and chairlift driver in a ski resort.
Out of curiosity: How did that happen?
My imagination tells me that at some point you got fed up with IT and thought "Fuck it, I'm gonna be a stripper!". You then quit your job, had to realize you were too old to become a stripper and searched for a different job you might actually enjoy. Am I close?
Kinda. Long story.
I fell into IT because it was the easiest thing, paid well, and the problem solving aspect was basically like doing crosswords all day. Plus it got me out of flatville, east angular.
A good few years, one chronic depression, a failed marriage (the last two items might not be entirely unrelated) and a fair bit of water under the bridge later, I'd come to the conclusion that, far from making the world a better place, removing paper from the workplace, etc, IT largely makes the world a worse place. Bad technology, worse practices and unbelievably optimistic expectations mean that every new system is almost guaranteed to be worse than the last. Systems to make work for systems engineers. Hell, at least I was being paid well.
Meanwhile, I'd always liked France. Good food, wine, coffee, varied landscape, what's not to like. And I kinda "spoke" french. By chance, I met this lovely French girl in a crappy spanish bar off Kensington High Street. She subsequently became my second wife.
Slowly, the allure of London was wearing thin. Sure, I could walk to work, but living over the road from the "Blue Note" nightclub was getting hard work, and with a girlfriend it was harder to justify getting up at 3am and staggering across the road for a pint because the bastards had just woken you up by emptying the bottle bin into a skip from the second floor window again. So we were figuring "what the hell, why not move to France, at least part time". The idea being to take my contracting lucre, along with some money my girlfriend had inherited, go buy a hovel in the Pyrenees for cash, and do some part time home working.
It didn't work like that. Ski holidays at the girlfriend's sister's place in the Alps intervened, followed by "Ooooh, like it here", which significantly upped the budget, and ended up with us buying a huge and mostly derelict farm in the middle of nowhere. "Do it up over the course of a few years" was the plan.
Then, a few months later, the markets had a hiccup, my contract came up and they wanted to drop my rates (nope), the rental period on our new flat not-over-the-road-from-the-bluenote-but-in-the-shitty-soulless-docklands came up at the same time and they wanted to up the rent by 25% (nope), so "fuck it all", we got married (makes all the paperwork easier, plus 20/02/2002), bought a second hand transit van for my courier mate whose van had broken down (cheaper than renting one or paying a removals firm) shoved everything we could into it and buggered off to France.
Found ourselves camping in a farm with no hot water, no heating, no (indoor) toilet, no lights and one electrical socket. In March. In the Alps. With a 2-year-old. Spent spring / summer / autumn making the place liveable. Winter started to arrive, figured "probably need a job", wife's nephew said "come work on the slopes, it's a piece of piss and a good laugh". So I did, it was, and it was.
After a chance encounter with a bloke who works for the International Olympics Comittee, I spent a while doing IT in the summer and ski-bumming in the winter. Until I realised I was not having fun doing IT, getting paid fuck all for the hours I was doing, and I was totally missing the summer. So "bollocks to that", went from winter season to winter season and summer season, then to winter + summer + most of the autumn , then to the whole year.
It's a fuckload more fun, I spend my time increasing the amount of enjoyment in the world, and the IT stuff I do, I do for me. Because "crossword puzzles". And when the bloke I know at Google phones me up, as he does every six months or so, offering me untold riches and absolute freedom in what I do, I can tell him "no". Again.
Today I'll be lifting bikes off a chairlift. I get to have a laugh with the bikers, it's sunny, I'm outside, and the view from my office looks like this (extend to 360°) :
-
-
-
@blakeyrat the meme doesn't apply, since he's been asked about that. this meme is always assholish anyway, and should never be used
-
@FrostCat I got fed with IT decades ago too, but that's the only thing I know how to do well enough to be paid for it.
-
So, today started with a training session.
[...]
In a 3/4 hour session, whilst more or less following the instructor's instructions, I managed to:
- enter duplicate, inconsistent and conflicting data.
- "sign" a set of important checks on a lift as having been done by my boss, another set as having been done by "nobody", and another as having been done by someone working for another resort entirely.
- indicate that I had closed my lift for -3 hours.
- get the system into a totally unresponsive state locally, requiring a browser preferences tweak and restart
- get the system into a totally unresponsive state globally, not only locking out my machine, but all the other machines in the training session, and, it appears, all of the other client machines running on other sites.
why are you doing qa in a training session?
-
@all_users said in Work WTF:
why are you doing qa in a training session?
I think the QA aspect was incidental to him being a cunt and trying to break stuff.
-
@flabdablet said in Work WTF:
Stonebraker calls this "programming in database assembly language".
I'd call it "stupid". The guys behind Oracle, MSSQL, Progress, and so on's DB engines, are geniuses who've spent decades making that shit fast. Even if you're John Carmack, you're probably not going to do better than them at it.
-
@blakeyrat Jealous much?
-
@boomzilla Actually, pretty much all of it was stuff that happened when following the training course instructions. The negative time thing was somewhat malicious, I'll admit, and two of the signings were me demonstrating the issue to the guy running the course, having managed to do the first by accident.
-
I keep telling people I'm going to move to Montana
You like staring at endless prairie and pretty much nothing else? (That’s my main memory of seeing Montana from a train, anyway.)
-
You like staring at endless prairie and pretty much nothing else?
I got enough of that with Windows XP's idea of "Bliss", TYVM.
-
@Gurth I think they have forests, too, and I could probably spend my entire life living in a good one.
-
when is it a good idea?
When your data is not relational in nature. Which is almost never.
-
what are the benefits of a non-relational db and when is it a good idea?
There was a stage when it was a good idea for full text searching, but then the relational DB engines started to add that capability and that's even better.
-
when is it a good idea?
When your data is not relational in nature. Which is almost never.
There is potentially an argument that "when all you have is a relational database, all your data looks relational". But without a major change in the way we develop software, and maybe with one, that's going to remain a crappy argument.
-
"when all you have is a relational database, all your data looks relational"
..."but after you have a non-relational database, all your data looks even more relational".
-
become a cowboy at a dude ranch
Maybe Fox can be come your mentor at the ranch of Broke Back Mountain
-
the view from my office looks like this (extend to 360°)
there are bikes all around you?
-
@Luhmann Generally speaking, yes. 961 bikes came up the lift (and thus got taken off the chairs by me) today.
-
@anotherusername Funny you should mention that.
I forgot to mention the thing my colleague found. Every employee has a signin, which is a 3 letter code taken from the first letter of their name, and the first and last letters of their surname. My colleague's is "pds". There are 5 other employees with the signin "pds".
Not only does your data start looking more relational, but a lot of the relations start looking constrained.
-
Not only does your data start looking more relational, but a lot of the relations start looking constrained.
QFT. There are still interesting non-relational DBs out there, but they're not really schema-less. (Some problems are better expressed using graph databases, as those cope with lots of joins better.)
-
A QA analyst walks into a bar and tries to buy a beer.
Tries to buy two beers.
Tries to buy 200 beers.
Tries to buy 0 beers.
Tries to buy -1 beers.
Tries to buy a horse.
-
@gordonjcp I know a bar where he would have a good chance of success trying to buy a horse. It's in a rural area and the owner is a breeder.
-
@clippy What's that got to do with horses?
-
@clippy I would like a budweiser and budweiser clydesdale, please.
-
i may write in javascript, but i have Fucking Pride in my work.
Ah... the sweet sound of someone who hasn't had common sense beaten out of them by management.
-
@DoctorJones said in Work WTF:
i may write in javascript, but i have Fucking Pride in my work.
Ah... the sweet sound of someone who hasn't had common sense beaten out of them by management.
Indeed. I am currently in the process of pounding both a clue and some common sense into the heads of managers two to three levels above my manager.
it's a slow process, but ever since i started using the ice pick and sledge it's going much easier.
-
using the ice pick and sledge
You can buy some quite nice solid steel ice picks online. Saves all that tedious messing about with opening the skull to retrieve snapped-off points.
This item is unavailable - Etsy