The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :baby_symbol:
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May 10
2:03 AM
10 lbs 2 oz
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@Yamikuronue said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
10 lbs 2 oz
Ouch
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@Jaloopa I was about that big. So was my husband. I'm considering adoption.
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@Yamikuronue said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
I'm considering adoption.
What about a good old cesarean?
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@asdf Can they schedule those like, so far in advance you're not even pregnant yet? Because if so, opt me in.
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@Yamikuronue said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
I'm considering adoption.
It really depends on whether you have child-bearin' hips.
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@FrostCat They are wide enough to cause my legs trouble...
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May 15th, 16:13, 7lb 12oz.
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@Yamikuronue said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
10 lbs 2 oz
That would be an exceptionally cute cub. It is safer to bet the average.
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@dse said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
It is safer to bet the average.
Which is why everyone does, making the odds of winning low no matter what. Might as well go big
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@Lorne-Kates said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
Wait, an open source encryption utility isn't user-friendly?
No encryption utility is user-friendly. Crypto people all hate users, and would almost invariably want to deny them security until they can demonstrate the detailed mathematical difference between the RSA algorithm and the algorithms based on elliptic curves.
Source: I used to work with some crypto people.
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@dkf said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
No encryption utility is user-friendly.
Well, that has improved significantly, lately. Take the Signal people, for example: Great example for excellent crypto that's incredibly easy-to-use. So easy-to-use, in fact, that Facebook hired them to integrate their protocol into Whatsapp, the most popular messaging app worldwide.
Snowden made cryptographers realize that they have to make their technology accessible to everyone.
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So today is 38 weeks. Full term by almost every country's standards. It's also the day we WERE going to have the planned c-section for placenta previa. Except that cleared up, which is why this thread exists. The appointment would have had us in the hospital for 4:30am. My wife spent months reconciling that there'd be a surgery in her future, then a few weeks ago when that was suddenly cancelled, trying to reconcile that there WOULDN'T be one.
WHICH IS FUNNY because labor + water break happened simultaneously today at 3:40am. Pop, thunk, SPLASH, "LORNE CALL THE HOSPITAL WE'RE GOING IN".
And we arrived at 4:30am and began monitoring. Dilation was 2 cm, so it'd be a long haul. I call the ultrasound clinic and OB to cancel the appointments were would have had today, then called the friend of the family who is a doula-- who we were going to meet today to hire-- to rush the hiring.
Time marches on. Heather gets the epidural by 3cm / ~6am. Baby heartbeat goes up. And up. And up. Doctors get concerned.
By 2:30pm, she is only 6cm, and heartbeat is pushing 200bpm. Nominal is ~140bpm. High is 180bpm.
So despite having a c-section, then cancelling it, then arriving on the c-section date, and starting labor-- she is rushed into the OR.
And so-- ALL BETS ARE FINAL!--
Say hello to Molly Rose-Claire Houghton-Kates.
April 27th, 2016
2:43pm
7lb 0ozI'll tally up the winners later. =)
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@Lorne-Kates said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
Molly Rose-Claire Houghton-Kates
To have that many names, that baby must have killed a lot of people.
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@ben_lubar said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
that baby must have killed a lot of people.
A lot of sperms
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@Lorne-Kates congrats! I hope all are well?
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@Lorne-Kates said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
hello to Molly Rose-Claire Houghton-Kates.
Well that's great, @Lorne-Kates doxed his daughter mere hours after birth! She'll never know peace from the Internet now!
Edit: Oh, and congrats. Always something happens to make it interesting, luckily it was not super bad...
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
She'll never know peace from the Internet now!
But the real question is ... did he register the gmail account already and set up her Facebook page?
Congrats! May you one day find a restful night again.
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@Lorne-Kates Fuck you, give the kid money!
Congrats man, and to the missus as well :)
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@Lorne-Kates said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
Say hello to Molly Rose-Claire Houghton-Kates.
“Hello, Molly. Welcome to the world.”
I hope your wife is also doing well.
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Congrats. My advice from three months in is:
- catch sleep when you can
- try to get her into routines early
- enjoy it. Watching a baby discover the world is a fascinating experience and makes all the stress and tiredness worth it
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@Lorne-Kates said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
Molly Rose-Claire Houghton-Kates.
Congratulations!
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@Luhmann said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
But the real question is ... did he register the gmail account already and set up her Facebook page?
Indeed. We set up gmail accounts. But not facebook.
Congratulations @Lorne-Kates!
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@boomzilla said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
We set up gmail accounts. But not facebook.
We had a gmail during pregnancy so we could email the baby for her to read when she's older. Facebook followed so my wife could tag the baby photos.
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Not all newborn babies are cute, but this one sure is. Congratulations, @Lorne-Kates!
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@dkf it reinforces the conspiracy theory that crypto is bullshit.
They make it so hard that few people can really get how it works. And if someone figure and explain me how it's flawed, people wouldn't be able to know if it isn't a mad guy telling gibberish.
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@Jaloopa said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
email the baby for her to read when she's older
imagine the amount of spam this kid will have to catch up
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@fbmac I don't think the Spawn of Lorne™ will have the same firstname.surname problem some of us have with Gmail addresses.
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This thread just makes me think what we get-off-my-lawn-ers have missed out on... Imagine when Molly finds this... (Congrats!)
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@Mikael_Svahnberg said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
@Lorne-Kates congrats! I hope all are well?
All is well. Mom's in good health and the incision is healing nicely. Molly's feeding well, jaundice levels are low, and weight is healthy. She's down to 6lb 7.9 oz, which is the expected weight loss until the bounce back.
We're home now. Making the phone call & email rounds.
@ben_lubar said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
To have that many names, that baby must have killed a lot of people.
She takes after her dad.
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
She'll never know peace from the Internet now!
Yeah, I've seen how well she can kick, and she took all her needles & bloodwork like a champ without a single tear. Bring the Internet on. She'll kick their fucking asses with a smirk.
@Luhmann said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
register the gmail account
Working on finding one that'll fit. Though once I do, some fucker named Melly will keep having mails sent to it, I'm sure.
@Onyx said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
Fuck you, give the kid money!
TODO board includes: set up RESP. =)
@Jaloopa said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
catch sleep when you can
Every says for the first while, when the baby sleeps, you sleep. lol.
try to get her into routines early
enjoy it. Watching a baby discover the world is a fascinating experience and makes all the stress and tiredness worth it
This is the part I'm looking forward to the most.
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@Tsaukpaetra I may have lost the key to your guessimator. Or it's in the void of NodeBB chats with the shittiest interface I've ever seen. Resend?
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@Lorne-Kates said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
Resend?
Probably didn't send it. Since it's locked post anyways, the 🔑 is TkGlitch
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In the running:
Tsaukpatra
dse
fbmac
loopback0
Mikael_Svahnberg
MathNerdCNU
Jaloopa
r10pez10
Boner
asdf
DogsB
coldandtired
ben_lubar
e4tmyl33t
Jarry
CarrieVS
Yamikuronue
Scarlet_ManukaDATE
Ain't none of you got even close. Molly surprised all of us there. Everyone floored out at 0, since everyone was in the 2nd week of May (or beyond), except for @MathNerdCNU, who got 1.5 points.Time
No one hit the time exactly. The average was 5 hours off. The worst was @asdf at 11 hours off. The closest, for 2 bonus points, was @Jarry.Total for this round (and running total in brackets)
@Jarry 6.75 (6.75)
@r10pez10 4.75 (4.75)
@Scarlet_Manuka 4.75 (4.75)
@MathNerdCNU 3 (4.5)
@Jaloopa 4.5 (4.5)
@Mikael_Svahnberg 4.25 (4.25)
@dse 4 (4)
@fbmac 4 (4)
@DogsB 4 (4)
@Boner 3.75 (3.75)
@CarrieVS 3.75 (3.75)
@Tsaukpatra 3.5 (3.5)
@coldandtired 3.5 (3.5)
@ben_lubar 3.5 (3.5)
@e4tmyl33t 3.5 (3.5)
@loopback0 3 (3)
@asdf 2.25 (2.25)
@Yamikuronue 2 (2)Weight
The average guess was 7lb 13oz. The outlier there was @Yamikuronue at 10lb 2oz and, according to my wife at the time she still thought she was doing vagnial birth-- THANK FUCK FOR THAT!There was a three-way tie for closest-- until I got @Tsaukpaetra 's encryption key. He beat out three people's 7lb 4oz with a 7lb 3oz guess, and so gets the 2 bonus point. I'm assuming @ben_lubar was guessing in Dwarf Kilos, which is equal to human Kilos. Totals for this round:
@Tsaukpatra 6.8125
@loopback0 4.75
@r10pez10 4.75
@Boner 4.75
@Mikael_Svahnberg 4.725
@Jarry 4.625
@MathNerdCNU 4.5625
@fbmac 4.5
@coldandtired 4.5
@asdf 4.4375
@Scarlet_Manuka 4.25
@Jaloopa 4.125
@dse 4
@e4tmyl33t 3.6875
@CarrieVS 3.5625
@DogsB 3.4375
@ben_lubar 3.1875
@Yamikuronue 1.875GRAND TOTAL
From least to greatest:
@Yamikuronue 3.875
@asdf 6.6875
@ben_lubar 6.6875
@e4tmyl33t 7.1875
@CarrieVS 7.3125
@DogsB 7.4375
@loopback0 7.75
@dse 8
@coldandtired 8
@fbmac 8.5
@Boner 8.5
@Jaloopa 8.625
@Mikael_Svahnberg 8.975
@Scarlet_Manuka 9
@MathNerdCNU 9.0625
@r10pez10 9.5
@Tsaukpatra 10.3125
@Jarry 11.375Looks like it was @Jarry 's time guess that put him over the top! Congrats. PM me shipping info. Fair warning, it may take a little bit of time to bake, but a half-dozen cupcakes are yours!
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@Lorne-Kates said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
@Tsaukpatra 10.3125
So close!
Good game everyone!Edit: wait, you spelled my name wrong there. 😆
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
@Lorne-Kates said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
@Tsaukpatra 10.3125
So close!
Good game everyone!Edit: wait, you spelled my name wrong there. 😆
That's the Canadian spelling.
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@Lorne-Kates said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
That's the Canadian spelling.
That would be TsaukpaetrEh?
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Congratulations!
I bet on the most common time/weight/day I could find in the records, but it seemed she bucked the trend :)
The only indispensable bit of advice we got was that a chilled half a cabbage works wonders on painful nipples - and it apparently does!
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Dammit first babies are usually after the due date. Hence my question before guessing. And obviously if she had been late she'd probably have been a little bigger. Who on earth is born on their due date?
Congratulations.
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@CarrieVS said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
first babies are usually after the due date
That's one of those pieces of folk wisdom without much evidence. First babies seem to average around the due date but with a larger standard deviation than later ones
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@coldandtired said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
The only indispensable bit of advice we got was that a chilled half a cabbage works wonders on painful nipples - and it apparently does!
One of the nurses mentioned that, too. Looked into that, sounds like there is an enzyme in the cabbage that reduces swelling, but also helps to halt milk production. It's recommended when you're looking to ween off or stop feeding entirely.
@CarrieVS said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
Dammit first babies are usually after the due date.
The doctors did point out a good point. We did have a loss at 17 weeks earlier. But since the itty bitty was technically delivered, they think my wife's body was in "second child" mode after all.
@CarrieVS said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
Who on earth is born on their due date?
The same people who don't watch porn: people who lie about things, like their due date and watching porn.
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@Lorne-Kates woo hoo! in your face Tsaukpatra!!
congrats to you and your wife! sending PM
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@Jarry said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
o! in your face Tsaukpatra!!
I'm sure Tsaukpatra would be insulted, but since I'm Tsaukpaetra, I pity the fool! 😎
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Congrats Lorne and family :)
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Woo last place! Congrats Lorne
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Congrats Lorne & Mrs Lorne!
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@Lorne-Kates Congrats!
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@Lorne-Kates said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
That's the Canadian spelling.
I thought you Canadians added random letters.
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@FrostCat said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
I thought you Canadians added random letters.
they should get those letters from somewhere, don't they?
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@Luhmann said in The Official "Guess Arbitrary Data About Lorne's Spawn" thread :
they should get those letters from somewhere, don't they?
Judging from the "mouth full of mashed potatoes" way people on modern English TV shows talk, we know where they're coming from, too.