🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
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Shh, they were off-duty cops. We're not allowed to point out suspicious details of what officially took place.
A lawyer friend tells me that legally, there's no such thing as an off-duty cop.
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New national UK newspaper to be launched
“This paper has been created as a result of customer insight and is the first newspaper designed for people’s modern lifestyles.”
Emphasis mine.
It will not have a website, but will have a social media presence instead.
Errr...
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Makes sense. Modern lifestyles are all about sponging off of others.
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@PJH said:
Running shoes.
I've got a runny nose. Got anything for that?
http://www.aquascutum.com/waver-cotton-handkerchief-blue.html
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That's one way to make your nose run, I guess. Reminds of a line from the song, Betsy Goes Boing, by The Hummers, about Betsy, the '57 coupe. The mechanic was listing all the problems Betsy had and finished up with...well, the last line of this:
"Her axle needs turning, and her brakes are low;
"Her generator smokes, and her timing is slow;
"Her crankshaft is cranky, and her cam is jammed;
"Her lifters are lifeless, and her rods are rammed.
"She needs new plugs, and a barrel of oil;
"And I have to heat her block to make the radiator boil."Of course, as to the question of why you would want Betsy's radiator to boil...
...that probably has something to do with why you want your nose to run.
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Just noticed a ticket flying by complaining about our lack of professionalism.
Normally I would agree with the customer but there are limits ...
If you have a signature that contains an animated gif you lose all rights to complain about professionalism.
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Ironically, he dies in an armchair.
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dafuq is this supposed to be:
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It's blur of activity. She can't find any keys because she's being forced to use this:
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She could also be using it upside down (thumbs on the function keys).
Edit: OK this one looks like it did post.
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supposed to be:
supposed to be? Interpretation of that frame, English Descriptive Service:
Rapid typing
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Engine's interpretation:Magic portal to the underside of boss's desk
.Edit: slight by @Boner
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It's blur of activity.
Rapid typing
Are her fingers bleeding, then, or is that red nail polish (that she apparently isn't wearing in any of the other animation frames)?
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Are her fingers bleeding, then, or is that red nail polish
No, that's (um, what was the technical term for that interlacing effect that happens when things are moving too fast?).
Her arms are moving so fast the camera mixes it in with her dress.Or, the portal's edges are bending light in weird ways and you're actually seeing the dress and the was and stuff through the portal.
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um, what was the technical term for that interlacing effect that happens when things are moving too fast?
..."Rape"?
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That's a long way from "motion blur"?
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http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/connectedworld/the-smart-typewriter-is-here/ar-BBpSil9?ocid=spartandhp
$550 for a mechanical keyboard and and e-ink display "smart typewriter". Even with an aluminum shell, I can't see this realistically costing more than $300 or so, and that's probably overestimating the price of the electronics, because you can get a tenkeyless mechanical keyboard for well under $100, and this is more like a 50%, and I'm generously assuming $200 for basically a paperwhite Kindle that has only one app: which is basically Notepad, because it says it saves files as plain text.
ETA: the faqs are priceless. If you're afraid of the cloud, you can "go through a clumsy process that requires you to directly connect the Freewrite to your computer".
And it weighs four pounds! Expect to see hipsters using these boat anchors at Starbucks any day now after they start shipping.
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Oooh, there's something I might look into homebrewing. That could easily run on a pi, so the e-ink display is the most expensive part here most likely. Stick the whole thing in a nice shiny case, maybe 3d-printed and painted, and I'd have a fun device to write my short stories on for my patrons.
Currently I use an app that saves RTF files and runs in full-screen "distraction-free" mode on my Windows PC, saving the files in Dropbox for editing later, so that's not hard to emulate.
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Oooh, there's something I might look into homebrewing. That could easily run on a pi, so the e-ink display is the most expensive part here most likely.
If you do I would be mildly interested in a reasonable cost of materials estimate, to compare against $550 for S&G.
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The screen's the hard part. I can get a 2.7" for around $40, with a control board to wire to the pi, but that's the biggest one that comes that way; there's some instructions on taking a working Kindle and hooking it up to the pi, which might be easier, so it depends how much used kindles are on ebay. The pi itself is $30, but I might use my CHIP instead if I can wrangle it ($9). Keyboard maybe $50 or so, case on top of that.
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Maybe $100 for a kindle, $70 for a mechanical keyboard, then the pi and casing? We're currently at half the price.
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Maybe $100 for a kindle, $70 for a mechanical keyboard, then the pi and casing? We're currently at half the price.
Yeah. So it seems that the main objective of this thing is a way to part hipsters from their money.
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Huh, so they re-invented the AlphaSmart
So it seems that the main objective of this thing is a way to part hipsters from their money.
Hipsters plus some weird form of nostalgia, in which one tries to bring back things that sucked the first time around. I used an original AlphaSmart in school and it was terrible.
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AlphaSmart
Was the keyboard actually a trapezoid, or is the picture just at an odd angle? Because if it was actually like that, that would probably suck.
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http://www.staples.com/Brother-Perfectype-Portable-Electronic-Typewriter-GX-6750-/product_IM1848979
Brand new, $130.
Strangely, while dumb typewriters still exist, word processors (typewriters with a little 5- or 7-line LCD) do not seem to exist anymore. There's about a million listed on Ebay, though, all for less than this hipster-machine.
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I used to have something like this:
only mine was marketed more as a "word processor" than an "electronic typewriter" at the time. Or at least that's how I remember it, but it was a long time ago[1]. The chief difference was probably the little LCD, which you could use to review a line before hitting Enter--it didn't type anything out until then, which saved on correction tape, as long as you spotted your mistakes.
Just scrolling down the list of what Amazon has, I would guess the term "word processor" was abandoned at some point.
[1] but it still used electricity, so anyone who wants to make dinosaur or whatever jokes
needs toshould take that into account.
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word processors (typewriters with a little 5- or 7-line LCD) do not seem to exist anymore.
They'd be pretty pointless since almost everyone has a word processor in their pocket these days.
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I looked at that one and it just has a screen big enough for doing dictionary lookups, apparently. Based on the product description.
Normally old word processors had at least 3-4 lines of LCD screen to show text on.
They'd be pretty pointless since almost everyone has a word processor in their pocket these days.
I don't have anything in my pockets that's comfortable to type on. I'm not sure such a thing can exist.
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I used to have one similar to that, too.
It was pretty neat how you could type centered, right-aligned, or fully-justified text without even really trying. Just push a button and start typing.
Unlike the old manual typewriter that I had, which required you to actually count letters before you started typing and figure out how many spaces you needed (and where, if the text was supposed to be justified). It actually allowed you to half-space by pressing the spacebar and not releasing it, so you could actually exactly center a line of text even if it was an odd number of characters. But it was kind of a pain pressing the spacebar before each character and releasing it afterward.
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It's a trade-off. Tiny screen, or tiny keyboard? Both suck.
My elementary school had quite a few of those word processors for typing class since they were cheaper than PCs (actually, I think we had Mac Classics). Everyone wanted to use them at first because they were different and cool. Then after a bit of actual use, everyone started fighting over access to the computers instead.
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Both suck.
I had a really nice Think Outside BT keyboard to go with my iPaq. While not as good as a full-sized one it was pretty nice.
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dumb typewriters still exist
It's worse than that. I could sort of understand "they still make these for niche markets and we can order one from the factory if we get someone from the late Pleistocene asking for it". But every OfficeMax, Staples, OfficeDepot and whatever other brands you recognize has two typewriter models on display, plugged in so people can play with them. Granted, they can no longer be counted on to have a sheet of paper rolled into the platen for those impromptu demos, but they're still in the stores taking up precious retail space.
(Not every piece of obsolete technology is on open display. Head to one of those stores tomorrow morning and try to buy a box of leads for a retractable grease-pencil/china marker. I'll even spot you the brand name "Listo" under the pretense that it will help you describe it for the slack-jawed yoof on the sales floor.)
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A lot of people still need typewriters for paper form filling. Although every year, bit by bit, even clueless companies move to PDF forms.
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A lot of people still need typewriters for paper form filling.
What, in this context, constitutes "a lot"? Are we doing Donald Trump style counting here, where he spoke of the "hundreds of thousands of members" of Veterans for a Strong America, when in fact the organization had exactly one member?
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What, in this context, constitutes "a lot"? Are we doing Donald Trump style counting here, where he spoke of the "hundreds of thousands of members" of Veterans for a Strong America, when in fact the organization had exactly one member?
We (and other moving companies) still use multi-part paper forms. There are numerous benefits:
- each copy has the legalese on the back
- they all get the same data on the front
- customer only signs one copy instead of five or six.
The only downside is that we have to use typewriters or dot-matrix printers or - gasp - pens to fill them out. We are making the transition to electronic paperwork, complete with e-signatures, where we can, but a lot of customs paperwork still legally requires a wet signature (pen on paper). We can't go completely paperless until all governments allow us to, which effectively means never.
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We (and other moving companies) still use multi-part paper forms
Okay, but are there enough of you, buying new typewriters often enough, to justify keeping a considerable chunk of retail display dedicated to showing off typewriters?
Seriously, I'd love to see the math on this from corporate.
(Incidentally, the worst possible name for an office-supply company has to be "Staples". Sure, it evokes the spirit of office stuff, but when you're working in that office and need a box of actual staples, it's a huge distraction to walk into the supply room looking for them and be confronted by hundreds of boxes of every size, all with the word "Staples" printed on the side in humungous red letters.)
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Okay, but are there enough of you, buying new typewriters often enough, to justify keeping a considerable chunk of retail display dedicated to showing off typewriters?
I don't know about shelf space, but no problem with the web site.
Pretty pitiful, though. When I was in high school, we had a secretary that could manage 12 CPS one-handed while using the other to hold a phone. There was only one electric typewriter in the whole school that could keep pace with her two-handed (she could manage about 24 CPS two-handed).
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Okay, but are there enough of you, buying new typewriters often enough, to justify keeping a considerable chunk of retail display dedicated to showing off typewriters?
We have multiple clients that still use dot matrix printers for invoice and report printing. We recently even had to procure one and set up from new due to one dying and they wanted to replace it.
Being in those offices on the days they print invoices and checks is interesting. It feels like you are in a time warp.
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We recently even had to procure one and set up from new due to one dying and they wanted to replace it.
I found out there was still a thriving market for PDP-11 parts. I practically had my hand taken off to get bits sent to the US. Think they paid more in priority shipping than the sale price. I should have charged more.
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Not in itself a bad idea, BUT. Consider Phlebas, and consider the reasoning behind this (in the vain hope it will stifle the
twaddlearguments about typewriters)
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To be fair, we store our laws digitally as well for working copies. But there's no track record of long-term storage for digital artefacts that comes anywhere close to vellum. Some of the best paper grades might do too I suppose; they've only got a track record for this sort of thing a hundred or so years less. (It's all cheaper than chiselling it into granite!)
I suppose punched cards might be acceptable media for this grade of storage (with suitable materials). Though you've also got to then worry about the availability of equipment capable of reading the data in a few hundred years…
Long term storage is difficult and expensive.
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Why would they put a list of names in order by the first letter and nothing else?
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http://cdn0.dailydot.com/uploaded/images/original/2016/2/26/2.jpg
I know it's an art project and not for general sale, but fuck