Right on target, but fucking stupid
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This discussion makes me thing of the switch-the-babies scene in Good Omens
Or that episode of the Dick Van Dyke Show.
True story: the actor who played the father of the other baby, the one Rob Petrie thought was switched with his, had a son in real life who's now a successful actor (he played the Johnny Cochran parody character on "Seinfeld"). That son was born the same day, month and year as me. So, transitively, I'm the same age as Ritchie Petrie.
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Your entire nation is one great big jail, of course. With random executioners.
They are more likely to be arbitrary than random.
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When I was in the hospital a couple of years ago I noticed that they were announcing "Code Purple" quite frequently. I asked a nurse and she said it was the code for an unruly visitor.
Prince is well known to smash a hospital room and smack a nurse.
That means your kid is SURE to get stolen.
Because your area lacks prisopitals.
Get it? I combined "prison" and "hospital". It's hilarious.
Um, actually, it's spelled pri$opitals. n00bfag.
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Nothing high-tech, just plastic with a paper slip. I was curious and in want of reading material, so naturally I immediately looked at it. It was the wrong name.
I remember getting the bracelets. Before putting them on any of us, the nurses made us verify that the info was correct.
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I remember getting the bracelets. Before putting them on any of us, the nurses made us verify that the info was correct.
Before doing IVF, my wife and I did several rounds of IUI (aka: turkey baster). At each step, each medical practitioner made us verify the info on the sample. "Is this your name? Is this your husband's name? Is the date of birth correct? Please sign here". On and on it went.
By the time we actually got to the doctor, we were running on a bit of automation. "Yes, yes, yes". The doctor said "I know it is, but I just have to check to be sure".
We'd been trying for a kid for a couple years at that point, and had gone through so many steps and hoops and treatments-- it it was so early in the morning-- I just blurted out "At this point, as long as this works, I really don't care whose sperm it is".
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@Lorne_Kates said:
I really don't care whose sperm it is
Extra unsolicited advice: they all look pink right after birth, the African descent might take a few days to show up. Pay attention to the hair!
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Extra unsolicited advice: they all look pink right after birth, the African descent might take a few days to show up. Pay attention to the hair!
Speaking from experience?
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all look pink right after birth
Really??!!?
...
The movies lied to me...
Filed under: Don't believe anything that they tell you!
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"Code Brown" = a patient has shit themselves and they need help cleaning it up. Keep that one in mind next time you are in a hospital. You hear it frequently.
Sometimes a hospital is closer than the nearest washroom, alright?
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If I'm at a service area in Walmart, like auto or fabric, and there's no one there...
I'll pick up the nearest phone, dial zero, and tell the operator "Customer needs assistance in [area I'm in].
No operator?
I'll use the PA.
...
Took me a while to put my cashier experience to practical use.
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I'll pick up the nearest phone, dial zero, and tell the operator "Customer needs assistance in [area I'm in].
Whenever I'm confronted by one of those robotic phone menu systems ("press 1 for some option you didn't listen to, press 2 for some other option...") I usually just pound on the phone keypad like a frustrated baboon until I get connected directly to a human operator who can assist me.
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Whenever I'm confronted by one of those robotic phone menu systems ("press 1 for some option you didn't listen to, press 2 for some other option...") I usually just pound on the phone keypad like a frustrated baboon until I get connected directly to a human operator who can assist me.
I just rapid fire the "0" button until it fails out to a human operator. If it doesn't, that company is unlikely to get any(more) of my money.
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I just rapid fire the "0" button until it fails out to a human operator. If it doesn't, that company is unlikely to get any(more) of my money.
The government likes to make sure you don't reach a person. 0 hardly ever works.
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The government likes to make sure you don't reach a person. 0 hardly ever works.
I got the password for those systems from the reptilian overlords that run things behind the scenes.
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I just rapid fire the "0" button until it fails out to a human operator. If it doesn't, that company is unlikely to get any(more) of my money.
Unless the company knows you have no alternative, and are intentionally making phone support as difficult as possible so you'll stop using it, because support is a sunk cost.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
support is a sunk cost.
No it isn't. It is an ongoing cost. It is not sunk.
[/pendantry]
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No it isn't. It is an ongoing cost. It is not sunk.
i know beancounters that would disagree with you.
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i know beancounters that would disagree with you.
They would be wrong.
DEFINITION of 'Sunk Cost'
A cost that has already been incurred and thus cannot be recovered. A sunk cost differs from other, future costs that a business may face, such as inventory costs or R&D expenses, because it has already happened. Sunk costs are independent of any event that may occur in the future.
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They would be wrong.
i didn't say they would be right. merely that they would disagree.
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i didn't say they would be right. merely that they would disagree.
They are shitty beancounters then. You can have effect on support costs, both positive and negative.
Yes, you are in many cases contractually obligated to provide said support, which makes it appear similar to a sunk cost. Or, you have to provide the support or else lose business, which also makes it appear sunk. But it is not independent of future events, so it is not yet sunk.
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They are shitty beancounters then.
also not going to disagree with you.
hell i had one of them deny an expense claim for two coffees and two donuts that i bought for a pair of contractors that were pulling a 18 hour day fixing a critical system.
dude! it was $5! we're paying them $200/hr! i've seen the charge sheet! $5 to make them a bit happier and maybe convince them to shave an hour or two off their invoice is chump change!
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@Lorne_Kates said:
support is a sunk cost.
No it isn't. It is an ongoing cost. It is not sunk.
[/pendantry]
PHB.
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I just rapid fire the "0" button until it fails out to a human operator. If it doesn't, that company is unlikely to get any(more) of my money.
When I had to deal with NTL I tried that, I got a message that is was an invalid selection and then it hung up on me. Assholes.
Their menu system was about 10 levels deep and nearly impossible to get it to send you to an actual human.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
intentionally making phone support as difficult as possible so you'll stop using it
What happened to charging a euro a minute for the privilege of listening to hold music?
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What happened to charging a euro a minute for the privilege of listening to hold music?
hmm.... average salary of helpdesk employee.... figure what $30 an hour if we average across all the tiers?
average time spent holding.... call it two hours....
Average time to resolve and/or accidentally disconnect call..... call it 20 minutes... nah... we're cutting corners.... 10 minutes...
by george! i think he's on to something! we can turn customer support into a PROFIT center!
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@Luhmann said:
Extra unsolicited advice: they all look pink right after birth, the African descent might take a few days to show up. Pay attention to the hair!
Speaking from experience?
Yes, but it was rather expected.
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a frustrated baboon
when designing those you really should do monkey testing because users are really even worse then your average monkey. not that I have any experience in designing those pieces of hell stew, I heard that from a friend of a friend.
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Nah, under European directives you're probably not allowed to charge money if they're not on the line with a human. They can be spoilsports like that.
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What happened to charging a euro a minute for the privilege of listening to hold music?
verboten by EU mandate, certainly in the Netherlands. if it is a toll number the cost has to be announced before the counter applies and there is always a maximum number of minutes they can hold you. your don't call me register is also very strict. it's a pain for honest companies to work with. dishonest companies don't give a flying fuck about such a thing.
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not really, the counter can start before but there are limits and regulations like there is no tomorrow: a max amount they can charge (even if the call prolongs), a max duration of waiting time, obligatory announcement without charge so the caller can choose to hang up and don't pay. The last one is mostly done by just giving every caller 30 seconds free. Like they are ever going to pick up before that time.
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I usually just pound on the phone keypad like a frustrated baboon until I get connected directly to a human operator who can assist me.
Do they usually understand your grunts and ground-pounding?
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Ape-mode is for robots. Humans receive passively aggrieved civility instead.
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Nah, under European directives you're probably not allowed to charge money if they're not on the line with a human.
This is, of course, great fun to implement if you want to have your own IVR instead of the one the telco wants to charge you for! There is no standard for signaling actual call start to them and getting them to cooperate is like pulling teeth!
You can kinda get away with a bit of it on telcos where early media works properly (basically, play your own audio instead of the standard dialing tone), but that works for 90s max because the caller's network will cut them off at that point, if not sooner (90s is the max, some have it set to shorter).
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Really??!!?...The movies lied to me...
There's no place an Orion slave girl isn't green! </The Final Reflection>
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hell i had one of them deny an expense claim for two coffees and two donuts that i bought for a pair of contractors that were pulling a 18 hour day fixing a critical system.
dude! it was $5! we're paying them $200/hr! i've seen the charge sheet! $5 to make them a bit happier and maybe convince them to shave an hour or two off their invoice is chump change!
Ha. I hope you yelled at them.
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yell? nah. but i did send a strongly worded memo.
well i say strongly worded.....
and it wasn't exactly a memo.....
and i didn't actually send it to accounting....
and to be totally honest i didn't actually send it at all,
but i certainly did think it!
that counts for something, right?
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officially or unofficially?
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i took it from petty cash...
that was always at least $50 short so they never noticed.
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$5 to make them a bit happier and maybe convince them to shave an hour or two off their invoice is chump change!
Not to mention that someone pushing 18 stressful hours will probably work better with a coffee. You were maximizing investment! Your only error was not taking it out of petty cash to begin with
Friend of mine was in a situation where a senior VP wanting to be certain that the whole team would be working 100% on a crisis decreed that "nobody enters that team's room except the pizza delivery guy" - and proceeded to physically stand guard outside to deflect unwanted distractions.
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Their menu system was about 10 levels deep and nearly impossible to get it to send you to an actual human.
Once I got into a situation like that and remembered a story that some IVR systems can detect swearing. I tried, and lo and behold I did get a competent human, but of course I can't be certain that it was due to my vocabulary!
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Their menu system was about 10 levels deep and nearly impossible to get it to send you to an actual human.
Yeah but considering the NTL reputation for customer service, you were probably better off not speaking to an actual human anyway.