The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
"Put your hands in the air like you just don't care" is a self-contradictory instruction. If I don't care, my hands aren't going any higher than chest level.
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@da-Doctah It's put your hands in the air and wave them around like you just don't care.
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@dangeRuss I don't care.
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@HardwareGeek Kneel like you care, but just can't be bothered to.
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@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
If I don't care, my hands aren't going any higher than chest level.
But that's because you care about minimizing effort.
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@Zecc if it were truly about minimising effort, they wouldn’t even be chest height.
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@Arantor Hands are naturally chest height when you lie down.
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I was thinking more about being sat up rather than laying down. But in the totality of existence, lying down is the format of the day.
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@dkf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Hands are naturally chest height when you lie down.
Only if you make the effort to raise them from the floor and put them on your chest.
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@loopback0
:florida-man:: Okay, I'll bring my alligator instead of my hog.
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@BernieTheBernie said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@loopback0
:florida-man:: Okay, I'll bring my alligator instead of my hog.Dennis isn't a pet, he's my emotional support rhinoceros.
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@PleegWat She gunna entrap herself...
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Let's pretend this is a onebox:
Inigo Montoya School of Communication is real and helpful in the actual world:
- friendly greeting
- state identity
- explain your purpose
- discuss expected outcome
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@Atazhaia said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Let's pretend this is a onebox:
Inigo Montoya School of Communication is real and helpful in the actual world:
- friendly greeting
- state identity
- explain your purpose
- discuss expected outcome
I wish more people did so. Just yesterday I got a call from medical supplier. Bro didn't identify himself, who he worked for, why he was calling, it was literally "Hello is this ${name}? What is your date of birth?"
Like, sir, I have no fucking clue who you are or why I'm being cold called out of nowhere. Follow your script that you should have before I block a legitimate business!
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Like, sir, I have no fucking clue who you are or why I'm being cold called out of nowhere. Follow your script that you should have before I block a legitimate business!
If they are cold calling, they arn't a legit business.
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@Dragoon But until he properly introduces the reason for the call, it might be someone from a company you do have some business with and it's just the task fell to some moron who can't do business phone calls properly.
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Maybe he will figure it out by the time he calls back.
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@Dragoon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Like, sir, I have no fucking clue who you are or why I'm being cold called out of nowhere. Follow your script that you should have before I block a legitimate business!
If they are cold calling, they arn't a legit business.
Well I suppose it's not technically cold calling. It's just that the callback period is three months.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Well I suppose it's not technically cold calling. It's just that the callback period is three months.
If it's chilly for , the rest of us are going to describe it as cold anyway...
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@error I'm glad she explained what Uncle Jim is doing, because otherwise, judging by the drawing, I would not have guessed correctly.
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@error said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The Things that remind you of WTDWTF members thread is
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@error uncle Jim is the only correct choice.
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@loopback0 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Clearly, the Earth has broken free of its orbit and is now hurtling uncontrolled thru space.
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pushes glasses If love never existed how could it have died?
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
pushes glasses If love never existed how could it have died?
You need to take that up with Dr Schrödinger....
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@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
pushes glasses If love never existed how could it have died?
You need to take that up with Dr Schrödinger....
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Poor cat, I hope it didn't eat it.
Garlic is toxic to cats and dogs. Dangerous dose seems to be about a clover(I couldn't find a concrete reference). Fortunately it smells bad enough to cats that most won't even touch anything that contains it. Some dogs however guzzle up anything without giving much care to what it is and might accidentally poison themselves, so those need to be watched.
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@Bulb said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Some dogs however guzzle up anything without giving much care to what it is and might accidentally poison themselves, so those need to be watched.
Let me tell you about the time the older bitch and a whole box of Ding Dongs...
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
"The Cat Stole My Fucking Garlic Bread" is one of my favorite Bruce Springsteen songs.
Sometimes in concerts he throws a bit of it into the middle of Born To Run.
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Since I do not have spare tires, I use a different method: