The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Mason_Wheeler Reminds me of an old joke. About how a chef learned to check his sauce labels.
BBQ sauce is kind of chocolatey in color. And industrial sauces all come in the same bottle. And that's one birthday cake he'll never live down.I once ordered a salad with blue cheese dressing, and the first bite was a lot tangier than what I was expecting. With the second bite I confirmed that it wasn't blue cheese, and with the third was able to pin the taste down: creamy horseradish.
I called the waiter over and said first, I'm not complaining because it's pretty good, but they should probably be made aware of it. And I suggested that they add "creamy horseradish" to the list of available salad dressings.
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@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Mason_Wheeler Reminds me of an old joke. About how a chef learned to check his sauce labels.
BBQ sauce is kind of chocolatey in color. And industrial sauces all come in the same bottle. And that's one birthday cake he'll never live down.I once ordered a salad with blue cheese dressing, and the first bite was a lot tangier than what I was expecting. With the second bite I confirmed that it wasn't blue cheese, and with the third was able to pin the taste down: creamy horseradish.
I called the waiter over and said first, I'm not complaining because it's pretty good, but they should probably be made aware of it. And I suggested that they add "creamy horseradish" to the list of available salad dressings.
That reminds me, I'm out of horseradish.
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@dangeRuss ...but would it have killed them to check the spelling of "cartilaginous"?
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I'm in this post's item 9 and I don't like it
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@Watson said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dangeRuss ...but would it have killed them to check the spelling of "cartilaginous"?
I think the correct spelling is "carthaginian".
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The eyedrops, as it turned out, came in a yellow plastic bottle that looked all too close to the one that contained the cyanoacrilate adhesive for his mom's press-on nails. And when your vision is impaired already, it's hard to make out the details...
Not quite as nasty but along the same lines: years ago my sister in law had the brillant idea to bring her contact lens cleaning fluid on a trip in a reused eyedrops bottle without even relabeling it. My wife thought she needed some after a night out partying and just used the bottle she found in the shared bathroom
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Sorry, but I need to vent!!!!
I experienced the WORST customer service today at a local store. I don't want to mention the name of the store because I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this. Last night I bought something from this store and I paid cash for it. I took it home and found out it didn't work. So today, less than 24 hours later I took it back to the same store and asked if I could get a refund. The cashier told me “NO” even though I still had the receipt. I asked if I could get a replacement instead, again she told me "NO." I asked to talk to a manager now as I'm really not happy and I explained that I had just bought the item, had got it home and it didn't work. The manager just smiled and told me to straight to my face that I was "OUT OF LUCK."
No refund.
No FREE replacement. Grrrrrrrrr.
I''ll tell you what...I am NEVER buying another Lottery Ticket from there again.
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@dangeRuss You may ask @Polygeekery for help. He'll provide you with an enjoyable solution.
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@dangeRuss those new to the field do go on like this.
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FTF
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There is not enough '...I don't like Mondays' in the above images.
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I saw an ad for sex dolls, and it said, "I heard a voice saying, if you build it they will come."
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@Arantor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
There is not enough '...I don't like Mondays' in the above images.
Prolly because it's a spectacularly bad song.
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@Watson said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
FTF
Looking up the title on Wiki, I find the following:
"Tell Me Why" (1951 song), song written by Al Alberts and Marty Gold, popularized by The Four Aces and by Eddie Fisher
"Tell Me Why" (1956 song), song written by Titus Turner, popularized by Marie Knight, and later by Elvis Presley
"Tell Me Why" (Beatles song), 1964
"Tell Me Why" (Declan Galbraith song), 2002
"Tell Me Why" (Earl Thomas Conley song), 1981
"Tell Me Why" (Echobelly song)
"Tell Me Why" (Exposé song), 1989
"Tell Me Why" (Genesis song), 1991
"Tell Me Why" (Jann Browne song), 1990
"Tell Me Why" (John Holt song), 1974. Covered by Musical Youth in 1983
"Tell Me Why" (M.I.A. song), 2010
"Tell Me Why" (Monica Anghel and Marcel Pavel song), 2002
"Tell Me Why" (Neil Young song), 1970
"Tell Me Why" (Spice Girls song), 2000
"Tell Me Why" (Supermode song), 2006
"Tell Me Why" (Wah Wah Collective song), 2013
"Tell Me Why" (Wynonna Judd song), 1993
"Tell Me Why (The Riddle)", a 2000 song by Paul van Dyk and Saint Etienne
"Tell Me Why", by the Bee Gees from 2 Years On
"Tell Me Why", by Berlin from Pleasure Victim
"Tell Me Why", by Eddie Cochran from Singin' to My Baby, adapted from- "Tell Me Why", written by Mitchell Parish, Michael Edwards, and Sigmund Spaeth, adapted from
- "Tell Me Why", composed by Roy L. Burtch, lyrics by Fred Mower, c. 1899
"Tell Me Why", by Gorky Park from Moscow Calling
"Tell Me Why", by John Cale from Walking on Locusts
"Tell Me Why", by Jonas Brothers from JONAS
"Tell Me Why", by The Kid Laroi from F*ck Love
"Tell Me Why", by Musical Youth
"Tell Me Why", by Norman Fox & The Rob-Roys, and covered in 1961 by Dion and the Belmonts
"Tell Me Why", by the Penpals from Berserk
"Tell Me Why", by P.O.D. from When Angels & Serpents Dance
"Tell Me Why", by Prezioso & Marvin
"Tell Me Why", by Taylor Swift from Fearless
"Tell Me Why", by Three Days Grace from Human
"Tell Me Why", by Will Smith featuring Mary J. Blige from Smith's album Lost and Found
"Tell Me Why", from the musical A Man of No ImportanceI'm most familiar with the one listed as being by Eddie Cochran, because it was on Melanie's "Gather Me" album (alongside her hits "Brand New Key" and "Ring the Living Bell"), and because Isaac Asimov poked fun at it in his "Asimov's Treasury of Humor".
I don't think "Tell Me Why" holds the record, though for the greatest number of unrelated songs with the same title. I still suspect that distinction goes to "Hold On".
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A little glimpse into a more enlightened time:
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"Tell Me Why"
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@loopback0 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Venn will they stop being lazy and fill in all the intersections?
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@LaoC said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@loopback0 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Venn will they stop being lazy and fill in all the intersections?
Let's see, bottom would be "ain't nothin but a mistake"
Top left would be "I never wanna hear you say"
Too right would be "I want it that way"?Edit: Completely unrelated, this rando had spontaneously spouted...
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@GOG said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Boner said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I know them feels.
Good thing nobody pays attention to my avatar. 😇
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@Tsaukpaetra Given that it looks like pipework and I'm not a plumber, I see no problem with it.
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@GOG said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm not a plumber
https://www.facebook.com/carpetcleaningmeathandlouth/videos/-im-not-a-baker-/556236635028903/
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
https://what.thedailywtf.com/groups/people-who-are-not-abarker
That's a suspiciously small group...
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@GOG said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
https://what.thedailywtf.com/groups/people-who-are-not-abarker
That's a suspiciously small group...
Have you seen people-who-are-not-boomzilla group?
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@MrL No.
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@GOG Ok, but have you seen people-who-are-not-Mike-Patton group?
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But have you seen Funny Stuff?
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
But have you seen Funny Stuff?
Not in this thread.
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Context before you read the whole thing: She went to this restaurant for a "tasting menu" - i.e. instead of 3 or 4 courses, you get 20 or 30 smaller ones, though in total it should come out to roughly the same amount of food.
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@Rhywden The bit about plaster cast of chef's mouth was definitely mentioned around here. Quite a while ago even I think.
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@Bulb said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden The bit about plaster cast of chef's mouth was definitely mentioned around here. Quite a while ago even I think.
I think I posted the article. As far as I remember, it was the same author, different website. (This one had some tweets I don't remember)
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The previous mention was in the "Nope, you eat it" thread, starting with https://what.thedailywtf.com/post/1917945
It may have been posted elsewhere too but that's the earliest I can find without spending yet more time on it, so you wouldn't have to.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Now where did I leave that "Virginia Pipeline" joke....
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