The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@Polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Is it wrong that I am amused that "NMFP" may become a widely known acronym due to me.
Depends. WTF are you saying it means?
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@Tsaukpaetra my guess: Not My <vulgarity> Problem.
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@Benjamin-Hall Apart from a bowdlerized form of the intended meaning (substituting "Freakin'" for the third word) with zero stars, the Acronym Finder offers two one-star expansions:
New Malaysia Free Press, and Nigerian Montane Forest Project (in New Zealand, despite the name).
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra my guess: Not My <vulgarity> Problem.
Reminds me of this semi-related story:
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@Polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It would help prevent injuries. I can only leave the shower so many times, while dripping wet, and walk to the kitchen to make myself another drink, before I seriously injure myself.
I used to run quite a bit, but I quit. The ice cubes kept falling out of my drink.
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After some investigation into Rachelle's post above (Jan '18), I found:
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If anyone makes a facemask out of an old bra, make sure to use the left cup. You don't want to go out looking like a right tit.
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@DoctorJones said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
If anyone makes a facemask out of an old bra
Alternatively..
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My husband and I work in separate rooms.
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@Karla my favorite:
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Unless the complaint is about the city instead of the airport, I'm not sure what the complaint is.
O'Hare International is meh. OK, I guess, except for the lack of space after security due to the post-911 changes to layout. Don''t go there early if you can help it.
O'Hare Domestic is awful.
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@error talk about catcalls...
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My husband and I work in separate rooms.
I like how the wives hear their husbands use some expression, and then they say, "My husband is a <expression> kind of a guy." Like that's how you should define people, by their use of some expression.
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@jinpa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My husband and I work in separate rooms.
I like how the wives hear their husbands use some expression, and then they say, "My husband is a <expression> kind of a guy." Like that's how you should define people, by their use of some expression.
I see your point but I really hate the "one more thing" person. I'm pretty sure that is grounds for divorce in at least 3 states.
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I see your point but I really hate the "one more thing" person. I'm pretty sure that is grounds for divorce in at least 3 states.
I guess you're glad you're not Lt. Colombo's wife.
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@jinpa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I see your point but I really hate the "one more thing" person. I'm pretty sure that is grounds for divorce in at least 3 states.
I guess you're glad you're not Lt. Colombo's wife.
That's used a bit differently than the 6th person to ask this one point that really doesn't matter all that much and causes the meeting to take twice as long.
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
the "one more thing" person.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Cmqxe6P4Ms
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@Tsaukpaetra I loved that show. Too bad I only saw a few episodes. Need to check whether they're on YouTube.
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From Jessica Salfia's Twitter account
And before anyone asks: all lines are taken from individual emails. Repeated lines means that line existed in several emails.
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HALP
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
2 cups? TRWTF is a mom who can't cook rice.
Insufficient information to determine the ratio. Or is this a jab at imperial measurements?
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@error said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
2 cups? TRWTF is a mom who can't cook rice.
Meh. If you want only a small handful of rice that's not terrible. Not like they're going to do it properly anyways...
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@error said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
2 cups? TRWTF is a mom who can't cook rice.
Insufficient information to determine the ratio.
It's sufficient to know someone is hungry. 500ml is way too little for any sensible amount of rice.
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@Gąska 2 cups of water to 1 cup rice is what I normally make and that's 2 meals worth as part of a meal.
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@Benjamin-Hall oh, okay. If you just pour rice into water, it might work. I'm used to rice packed in perforated plastic bags - it has to fully submerge in water, and no way it's gonna do that in just 2 cups.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall oh, okay. If you just pour rice into water, it might work. I'm used to rice packed in perforated plastic bags - it has to fully submerge in water, and no way it's gonna do that in just 2 cups.
Ewww. Parboiled rice. Ewww. But honestly, if you can't cook that just by following the directions on the package...heck. I could do better than that in Latvia when we bought the prepared food packaged in Poland and with directions written in Polish (as the nearest language to what I knew). Sound it out as if it were drunkly-transliterated Russian (a real I know), then translate from that Russian.
Rice is the dead simplest thing to cook. 2:1 water:rice ratio. Salt. Heat until boiling, turn to lowest setting. Cover. Wait until water absorbed. Done.
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall oh, okay. If you just pour rice into water, it might work. I'm used to rice packed in perforated plastic bags - it has to fully submerge in water, and no way it's gonna do that in just 2 cups.
Ewww. Parboiled rice. Ewww.
Oh. I wasn't aware you're a food snob. /eot /disconnect
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall oh, okay. If you just pour rice into water, it might work. I'm used to rice packed in perforated plastic bags - it has to fully submerge in water, and no way it's gonna do that in just 2 cups.
Ewww. Parboiled rice. Ewww.
Oh. I wasn't aware you're a food snob. /eot /disconnect
Not eww as in snobbish, eww as in "I personally don't like". I've never had it come out well. YMMV.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall oh, okay. If you just pour rice into water, it might work. I'm used to rice packed in perforated plastic bags - it has to fully submerge in water, and no way it's gonna do that in just 2 cups.
That's not real rice. That's one (small) step above Minute Rice. (And my friend can't cook rice either - the carbonized pot in the garbage proves that.)
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@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall oh, okay. If you just pour rice into water, it might work. I'm used to rice packed in perforated plastic bags - it has to fully submerge in water, and no way it's gonna do that in just 2 cups.
That's not real rice.
@Benjamin-Hall I apologize. You're nowhere near as annoying as @dcon.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall oh, okay. If you just pour rice into water, it might work. I'm used to rice packed in perforated plastic bags - it has to fully submerge in water, and no way it's gonna do that in just 2 cups.
That's not real rice.
@Benjamin-Hall I apologize. You're nowhere near as annoying as @dcon.
#NotMyCook
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Wait until water absorbed.
I use a different criterium: wait until rice is cooked.
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Wait until water absorbed.
I use a different criterium: wait until rice is cooked.
If you've done it right, the two are one and the same.
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