D&D thread
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So, the past weekend we resumed the campaign we were doing through spring. After the detour to murder one of the evil counts we continue with our quest and make good progress going to the place we tried to get to for like half the spring sessions. I get to be knocked out for both the big fights, first by being bitten in the belly by an attacking wolf (ofc while we were camping during night, so no armor).
The second big fight was however a failure of epic proportions. We went into a cave to explore it. Had to roll against Detect Danger. I fumble. So I happily walk into the cave and climb up on the big, furry rug that's for some reason lying in the cave only to discover it was a sleeping bear and get "rewarded" by being bitten in the leg hard and fainting from it. At least no permanent damage to the leg, as it bit my good leg and not the one that got a limp on the first session of the campaign. Would have been interesting having a limp on both legs otherwise...
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@remi I played that one, too. I actually used the experimental thermonuclear grenade my dumb-as-a-rock character was given...
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@Mason_Wheeler I don't know about that, but experimental stuff comes in 2 flavors in Paranoia: stuff that won't work at all and stuff that works only too well (usually in unintended ways, too). The grenade belonged to the 2nd category.
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@Khudzlin MDK was a late 90s 3rd-person shooter, one of the first (if not the first) to do 3D really well. It was half technical prowess and half humor, with a lot of the game's narrative running on bizarrely twisted logic. One of the items you could find in-game was "the world's smallest nuclear explosion," a hand grenade that was the only way to open blast doors.
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@Khudzlin said in D&D thread:
@Mason_Wheeler I don't know about that, but experimental stuff comes in 2 flavors in Paranoia: stuff that won't work at all and stuff that works only too well (usually in unintended ways, too). The grenade belonged to the 2nd category.
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@Gurth Nice form. Unfortunately, there was no one to fill it out, no one to give it to and no one to evaluate it.
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@Khudzlin said in D&D thread:
@Gurth Nice form. Unfortunately, there was no one to fill it out, no one to give it to and no one to evaluate it.
“Failure to Follow Correct Alpha Complex Procedures” covers that situation quite well, I think.
I should really also scan the R&D Experimental Equipment Testing Report form.
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@Gurth Probably. Destruction of Computer property covers the damage and Reckless Endangerment of Fellow Citizen(s) the decision to use the grenade. But what can you do when the whole Alpha Complex is destroyed and everyone and their clones dead?
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The latest meeting in the campaign had as assassination attempt on the party. As we stayed at a nice inn an assassin came. The elf heard some noise but saw nothing in the corridor and went back to sleep. I failed the check so my character kept sleeping. Third character got awakened by some noise too and slammed the door to his room open and shouted "What the hell is going on, can't a hobbit get some decent sleep around here?" which did awake my character to the assassin next to the bed and ready to do some penetration action with a knife. Narrowly escaped and then got to fist fight in a small room. The elf which also got awakened tripped over a trap in the corridor and narrowly missed being hit by poison darts and then came to help. After a small fight where both I and the elf got cut we went back to sleep. Then both me and the elf awoke with horrible fever from the poisoned weaponry, so the hobbit had to break into the local count's herb garden to find something to counter the fever.
Then once cured we finally could reach our destination for about half the campaign and join the forest guard in our quest to find a troll with a magical sword who is supposed to be living in the forest. Meeting ended with having to fend off some wolves and gnolls, and the hobbit found a magical ring with runes.
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@Atazhaia said in D&D thread:
hobbit found a magical ring with runes.
next campaign sees the hobbit shouting "my precious" continuously
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@Luhmann Another goal we have is to find the highest mountain in the land, because we're trying to find a different ring of power that's been split in three parts, and one of the clues says one of the parts was hidden on it. Although nobody is certain which mountain is the highest, but we've visited two of the three possible peaks, both bringing bad luck to my character. First peak got arm crushed by troll, second got mauled by bear after I mounted it as it was sleeping. So after the forest it's going to the next mountain. Third time's the charm?
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@Atazhaia said in D&D thread:
bad luck to my character. ... second got mauled by bear after I mounted it as it was sleeping.
That's not so much "bad luck" as it is just plain stupidity.
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@abarker said in D&D thread:
@Atazhaia said in D&D thread:
bad luck to my character. ... second got mauled by bear after I mounted it as it was sleeping.
That's not so much "bad luck" as it is just plain stupidity.
that's not so much plain stupidity as "Hold My Beer and Watch This!"
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@Vixen said in D&D thread:
@abarker said in D&D thread:
@Atazhaia said in D&D thread:
bad luck to my character. ... second got mauled by bear after I mounted it as it was sleeping.
That's not so much "bad luck" as it is just plain stupidity.
that's not so much plain stupidity as "Hold My Beer and Watch This!"
To-may-to, to-mah-to
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@abarker I fumbled on the detection roll, meaning my character mistook the sleeping bear for a nice bear rug and climbed up on it. Even though the bear would be a lot larger than my 90cm tall "ewok"
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@Atazhaia said in D&D thread:
@abarker I fumbled on the detection roll, meaning my character mistook the sleeping bear for a nice bear rug and climbed up on it. Even though the bear would be a lot larger than my 90cm tall "ewok"
..... you know the whole "That's a fucking bear. it's breathing. I should not be here" perception check really should be an auto pass for all but the most unobservant PC..... I find it far more plausible that your character knew it was a bear and fumbled their sanity check to decide to try and make a pet out of it because "look dogs are just wolves we made pets of right? well i should be able to do that here too!"
... but then I do know players that subscribe to GURPS and insist every action be a dice roll. They need a lot of dice.....
Okay, they have fewer dice than I do, but i only collect because SHINY DICE! PRETTY DICE! MINE! MINE! MINE!
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@Vixen I think I wouldn't have made such an epic fail if I just would have failed the detection roll. But fumbling the detection roll? Yeah, character gonna get the idiot ball hard for whatever action that happens on regardless of actual competence.
Edit: The system used ("Swedish D&D") uses inverted d20, where 1 is critical success and 20 is critical failure (fumble). And the goal is to roll below your skill, so with skill 12 all rolls up to and including 12 is a success while 13 and above is a fail.
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I've been fortunate enough to get into a Friday D&D group as well as my Sunday group. We've been doing Lost Mine of Phandelver since the second half of August and it's displaced my favourite campaign from Sundays as my craziest party.
My character, a LN human monk who started with the mobile feat, died at second level, in the third session (and the second I was able to attend) but I was actually ok with that - disappointed not to get to play with all the cool monk features at higher levels but he wasn't really gelling well with the party. And since I know most of the details of the adventure, I want to leave the decision making to people who don't know all the answers, and it wasn't too easy to justify him sitting back and trusting the rest of that lunatic mob to make the choices.
So, I came back the session before last with a white dragonborn barbarian who is absolutely that easily led. I couldn't decide which mental stat to dump so I settled on all of them: the DM likes us to use point buy, and I bought three 8s and three 15s. In addition to that, she's completely illiterate, really doesn't comprehend much about how civilised folk do things, and a series of coincidences and misunderstandings led her to the impression that the wizard (actually a bit of a bumbling fool and something of a coward) is an all-knowing shaman with psychic powers.
She has essentially two settings: confused, hitting things, and hitting things because she's confused. She's a lot of fun to play.
The first session with her was absolutely amazing, and she got on with the party like a house on fire. Yesterday was a bit... interesting but it all worked out more or less ok, in spite of coming to full-on PvP at one point, and we get to level up for next week. Subclasses all round (the casters already have theirs obviously.) Sora will be taking the Path of the Zealot as the spirit of the ancient white dragon that her clan venerated for uncounted generations, until a high-level, probably Good-aligned adventuring party intervened undertakes to guide and assist her in avenging him and the clan.
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My penisless gnome had another bad session. Some bad rolls led to him getting caught in a cave in with his leg pinned. The party's attempts to get him free resulted in the leg being left behind. This was partially his own fault as he'd been hiding in a barrel that had recently contained some rather interesting ingredients, and as a result was hallucinating his mother's voice coming from a gnome corpse in a spike pit. Rather than continuing to run, he insisted on trying to rescue her, screaming "MOTHER! MOTHER!". The rogue tried to stab him but failed the roll badly and ended up spanking him with the flat of his dagger. I was in full RP mode at this point, so paused and said "fa... Father?", resulting in probably the biggest laugh our table has had.
The party made it back to the home of the crazy hippie wizard who'd sent us into the cave for ingredients. As we slept, he tried to restore the leg but also found the prosthetic down there. When I woke up I was told "I've done what I could for your leg. I've also made some adjustments to your other injury. It now shoots fire"
It's been replaced with a penny whistle, and when I play when the saints come marching in on it, if shoots a 30ft cone of fire.
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Just got home from my group’s Shadowrun game, and I thought I’d share the best quote from the evening:
I had a lot of joy from that taser.
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Last week we had the final meeting before a month break due to people being busy. And we were only two players due to a last moment unwell happening, so me and the incompetent mage. We went to explore a mysterious well. The well had thick, black oily liquid in it. But upon further exploration I noticed that the oily layer was only about 3 meters thick and there appeared to be a hollow room underneath, with hard floor another couple meters further. So I made a ladder from a log and went swimming through the oil to appear in a tunnel, looking like a long since dried out underground river. Ground full of skeletons. So of course me and the mage went back to prepare ourselves for a proper exploration.
First going in one direction we found an underground lake where we took a rest. I gave the mage a massage there because he hurt himself climbing down into the cave. Then we went the other direction and the cave took a bizarre turn. It ended up a metal passage that led into a big metal room, like a cube. In here we had to wade through skeletal bits and then we got attacked by an invisible enemy. Mage was trying desperately to cast dispel on the creature while I tried shooting it with arrows.
Then I got a moment of clarity and spent a turn just listening, attuning myself to the sounds of the creature to make it slightly easier to detect where it was. And then the creature did a critical fail and crashed into the skeletons hard, making it throw bits everywhere. Which gave me an opportunity to actually hit it with a flaming arrow, setting it on fire and making it drop its invisibility. Apparently we had found a grell (brain with tentacles and a beak) and I proceeded to keep shooting at it until it died.
Then we could keep exploring, going into a metal pipe which kept going and then was sealed off by a grate that we could not get through so we had to give up and return to our base. But at least we removed the danger on the ancient ruins by killing the grell, so now we just have the other dangers of the forest left to deal with (two gnoll tribes, one orc tribe and one troll tribe, where our main target is the trolls).
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Pathfinder not DnD.
See me? Kitsune race, habitually in humanoid foxy form, because be proud of your heritage.
See me? Rogue. Sneaky sneaky sneaky.
See me? Sneaking into house of nobleperson for reasons of plot shenanigans to confirm whether or not this person is in-fact an evil pod person who replaced the original nobleperson
See me? notice big dog sleeping in the hallway between us and our target's rooms.
See me? sigh internally as the other sneaky people with me jump over the doggy.
See me? jump over the doggy too.
Smell me? Smelling like a fox because kitsune.
See me? get chased by hungry doggo.
See me? get bit by doggo because too slow at dodging lunge.
FUCKING HELL! WHO HAS A HELLHOUND FOR A PET!?!?!?! OWW! FUCKING OWW! WE GETTING OUTTA HERE! STRAIGHT THROUGH THE WINDOW AND UP ONTO THE ROOF!
FUCK THAT THINK TOOK ME FROM FULLY HEALTHY TO I MIGHT HAVE LOST THE LEG IN ONE BITE! OWW!
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@Vixen
I suppose that's what happens when you fox up the sneak check.
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@Vixen The brown fox was not quick enough and the dog insufficiently lazy
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Talking about dogs--I had a cute moment last week in a game.
The party was chilling with some wolfwere/shifters (friendly, a bit too much so in fact). Then they got told that some monsters had trapped a small group of them, including some kids up aways away. Of course they headed out immediately (one of them's a paladin with a trigger of "I lost my family and am looking for another one", so ignoring kids in distress was just not going to happen, plus they needed to get the shifters to help them a bit) and, after a few long fights with some harpies, some evil plants, and a two-headed drake thing, they were victorious.
Then the puppies came out of the cave they were hiding in. About 8 or so of them. Intelligent puppies, some of whom could talk. As one player said "Roll to cry?" I didn't make him actually roll for that. The goblin character got knocked over and licked by some of them. It was kinda cute how much it meant to them.
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@Vixen said in D&D thread:
See me? Rogue. Sneaky sneaky sneaky.
If we can see you, you're not nearly sneaky enough of a rogue!
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@izzion said in D&D thread:
@Vixen
I suppose that's what happens when you fox up the sneak check.my sneak check was fine.... but APPARENTLY a sneak check isn't effective agaisnt creatures with Scent ability when you smell like food........
our GM is evil.
@Mason_Wheeler said in D&D thread:
@Vixen said in D&D thread:
See me? Rogue. Sneaky sneaky sneaky.
If we can see you, you're not nearly sneaky enough of a rogue!
i fing it incredibly annoying that i get a +32 to sneak and am the rogue, but because another character in the campaign min-maxed their character "just a bit" I'm the second sneakiest character in the party. And that's without taking into consideration the two casters in the group with access to both Invisibility and Greater Invisibility.
@CarrieVS said in D&D thread:
@Vixen said in D&D thread:
FUCKING HELL! WHO HAS A HELLHOUND FOR A PET!?!?!?!
An evil pod person?
Apparently!
EDIT: Though we haven't actually confirmed for sure because you know hellhound wants to eat foxy lady.....
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@Vixen said in D&D thread:
hellhound wants to eat foxy lady.....
Well, I wouldn’t mind “eating” foxy lady either~
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@Atazhaia said in D&D thread:
@Vixen said in D&D thread:
hellhound wants to eat foxy lady.....
Well, I wouldn’t mind “eating” foxy lady either~
TEETH bad.
tongue okay.
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@Atazhaia said in D&D thread:
@Vixen said in D&D thread:
hellhound wants to eat foxy lady.....
Well, I wouldn’t mind “eating” foxy lady either~
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@Vixen said in D&D thread:
my sneak check was fine.... but APPARENTLY a sneak check isn't effective agaisnt creatures with Scent ability when you smell like food........
Wouldn't that just be a penalty on the sneak roll?
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@PleegWat said in D&D thread:
@Vixen said in D&D thread:
my sneak check was fine.... but APPARENTLY a sneak check isn't effective agaisnt creatures with Scent ability when you smell like food........
Wouldn't that just be a penalty on the sneak roll?
/shrug
maybe? I mean i was doing all sneaky movement hide in shadows stuff..... nothing i did was disguising my scent.... because really how many enemies can tell the difference between freshly bathed and very clean kitsune scent and human scent? NOT BLOODY MANY!
'course it also depends on how preordained this encounter was by the GM...... or how many scooby snax one of our other players paid them to do this to enhance the story.
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@PleegWat said in D&D thread:
@Vixen said in D&D thread:
freshly bathed and very clean kitsune scent
Are we talking wet fur?
No. Magic hair drier.
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@PleegWat said in D&D thread:
Wouldn't that just be a penalty on the sneak roll?
More likely to be an advantage on the perception roll.
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@PleegWat said in D&D thread:
@Vixen said in D&D thread:
my sneak check was fine.... but APPARENTLY a sneak check isn't effective agaisnt creatures with Scent ability when you smell like food........
Wouldn't that just be a penalty on the sneak roll?
GM not telling the players all the modifiers that apply, maybe? I do that all the time so players won’t get information they shouldn’t. (It’s also the chief reason why I dislike game systems that modify the number of dice rolled instead of the roll’s difficulty: you can’t have secret modifiers.)
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So we're playing Lost Mine of Phandelver. Two of the party signed on with the first secret society to offer any of us the chance - it happened to be the Zhentarim. Shortly thereafter, their recruiter offered us a quest - a bounty for dealing with a certain gang of goblinoid bandits holed up in a ruined castle. We don't have to exterminate them all, she said, just cut the head off the snake.
Let me remind you that faced with the choice of which mental stat to dump for my barbarian, I decided "screw it, all of them" in addition to being simply not used to civilised people and the way they talk.
"There's a snake? I thought you said they were goblins?"
She explained that "it's a metaphorical snake," but unfortunately Sora completely blanked on the long word and, although she did understand about the ageing bugbear king we were to kill, headed cheerfully off to Cragmaw Castle under the fixed idea that there was some strange variety of snake she had never heard of before, which was to be decapitated.
We managed to sneak in the sneaky way and get to the boss fight first, always fun, although we had a couple of sticky moments and the doppelganger got away. We continued on, the tiny halfling rogue staggering under the weight of the bugbear's severed head. The sorcerer had explained to me, upon my continued searching for a snake of any sort, that the bugbear was actually a snake, and I pretty much accepted this without understanding it, because she's clever and she knows things.
Then we stepped into the ruined chapel. The creature in there is ... it's a stretch to call it snakelike, it's really a sort of worm-octopus hybrid. But it's long and slithery, and it's dark in there and I'm a dragonborn. And also dumb. It's close enough - I knew it was some weird kind of snake. We kill it, I deal the killing blow, half-severing its head, and then finish hacking it off. We go around the castle a bit more, and then return to Phandalin with both heads.
We go to present the heads to the quest-giver and claim the bounty, and I manage to jump in first and plunk down my dripping, slimy, tentacled offering in front of her. I explain that I have done as she asked and cut the head off the snake. She's never seen a snake like that before. Well this is a metaphorical snake - I've never seen one before either. She really wasn't expecting that. But she asked for it.
I get an extra 50gp for it, on top of the promised bounty. And I am completely and utterly convinced that this creature is a metaphorical snake. And rather surprised that she had forgotten that she sent us to cut off its head.
I have also started squashing any black spiders I come across, just in case. I'm fairly sure the one everyone's talking about will be bigger and harder to kill, but you can't be too careful.
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@CarrieVS said in D&D thread:
We go to present the heads to the quest-giver and claim the bounty, and I manage to jump in first and plunk down my dripping, slimy, tentacled offering in front of her. I explain that I have done as she asked and cut the head off the snake. She's never seen a snake like that before. Well this is a metaphorical snake - I've never seen one before either. She really wasn't expecting that. But she asked for it.
Oh wow. That's hilarious! I could totally see Grog Strongjaw doing something like that. "Yeah, this 'ere, it's the head of a metaphorical snake, just like you asked for!"
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@Mason_Wheeler Sora is so much fun to play. She's not as cute and cuddly as Grog, though.
From the same session:
Pacifist monk/bard: Why are you killing these orcs?
Sora: Because they're there.
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@CarrieVS said in D&D thread:
Sora
And now I'm imagining a hulking barbarian wielding a massive Keyblade.
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@Mason_Wheeler It is one of the PHB name suggestions for Dragonborn and I had not previously been aware of that character.
She wields a perfectly ordinary massive two-handed sword, which belonged to her father.
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@CarrieVS said in D&D thread:
two-handed sword, which belonged to her father.
One of the players in my group has for years been under the impression that if her current character dies, when she makes a new one she can claim that to be the dead one’s sister (or some other close relative) and inherit all her equipment.
Every time she brings this up (which is not that often, I should add), I tell her this is fine by me, as long as she pay for it from her new character’s starting money — IOW, that starting money isn’t a big sum characters get to outfit themselves from, but that buying things from it represents the important stuff characters have accumulated in their lives so far. And every time I explain this, she seems to feel a little thwarted in her plans and acts surprised that I wouldn’t allow her to go through with it …
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Back from today's session, which was the first in a while. We got a new player who is a healer (Yay!) so now I wont have to focus so hard on levelling my healing. But still may be good to do so just in case.
Today in exciting adventures: Me going out to hunt food in the woods and fumbles the roll, and ending up getting lost. Then upon realizing I'm lost I crit the roll to find the direction back. More ruin exploration, we have now gone through the entire ruined city in the woods. We also found the other monster living in the city which turned out to be an owlbear. It got killed, and then we found out we had killed a mother owlbear with a cub(?). Oh, noes! And now our healer got a pet.
We also had spiders attacking the tower we're living in. They managed to knock out our warrior. I set them all on fire with flaming arrows. We also found more traces of mad cultists, with some fresh (human?) entrails hanging from a tree and a cultist drawing an Y with blood on our door.
I tried scouting a path to the area called "the troll lands" and found out the area between the orc area and the gnoll area was a swamp, meaning the only way to the trolls would either be going through the swamp or go around the orcs or gnolls, all which would take more than a day.
So we went to the ruined village instead. I found a forgotten treasure under a floorboard with some gold and silver coins. Then it ended up a bit late so we figured we may as well spend a night in the village and then head to the troll lands from the side as we could make it there during the day then. During the night our healer almost got choked by a ghost. So next time, it's troll hunting time! Hopefully.
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Haven't read this thread at all, but have a funny!
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/102581681273204736/642762988306038825/image0.jpg
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I'm DMing at the moment. Last week my party encountered an intelligent monster that's not immediately hostile, but is deranged and delusional. It was talking all this obvious nonsense and my party only went and figured they must've been conned somehow and everything they thought was true must be false.
I tried to hint that they were barking up the wrong tree by emphasising a few of the things that obviously didn't make sense, like why would the mine - that they knew had been abandoned for centuries - be full of unburied, ancient corpses, if as this entity said it was still in operation and always had been, but they just started coming up with increasingly convoluted explanations. At this point, I shrug and decide this is too funny to try and discourage.
Separate incident: how much damage do you think a flameskull would take when it regenerates by bursting out of one of the glass vials its crushed remains have been put in in a vain attempt to stop it regenerating?
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@CarrieVS said in D&D thread:
they just started coming up with increasingly convoluted explanations
Should record them!
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@CarrieVS said in D&D thread:
they just started coming up with increasingly convoluted explanations.
Typical player behaviour, IME …
Separate incident: how much damage do you think a flameskull would take when it regenerates by bursting out of one of the glass vials its crushed remains have been put in in a vain attempt to stop it regenerating?
That reminds me of the old D&D trick (that I never actually saw anyone try) of the troll-in-a-box: kill a troll, cut off a small part of its anatomy, like a finger or a toe, and keep it in a small but strong box, then burn the rest of the corpse. When you get into a fight you’re losing, pull out the box and open it, then run away.
