📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™
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85% off zero is...?
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@pjh said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
85% off zero is...?
Not to mention the whole idea violates so many Wikipedia guidelines that the page would be deleted almost before the spammer clicked Submit.
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Another email from the idiot recruiter who has never sent me anything remotely similar to my skills, this time for a "Java Developer with Kafka Experience." I read "In the Penal Colony"1 in high school English class 40+ years ago. Does that count?
Also, Kafka is an absolutely terrible name for your software, at least if you want anyone to actually use it.
1 Maybe. At least that's the story with the most familiar-seeming plot.
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@hardwaregeek said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
Not to mention the whole idea violates so many Wikipedia guidelines that the page would be deleted almost before the spammer clicked Submit.
You'd be surprised. AIUI paid editing is now allowed as long as it's disclosed and the content doesn't violate any other policies or guidelines (like WP:Notability).
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@heterodox WP:Notability is the first one I thought of, but there are also WP:SPIP (the advertised purpose of the article is specifically to violate this), WP:NOTADVERTISING (likewise), NP:NOR, NP:NPOV, NP:COI, and probably quite a few others.
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@hardwaregeek said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
Also, Kafka is an absolutely terrible name for your software, at least you want anyone to actually use it.
: You're racist.
: No I'm not
: See? Your denial just proves it!
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@hardwaregeek said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
@heterodox WP:Notability is the first one I thought of, but there are also WP:SPIP (the advertised purpose of the article is specifically to violate this), WP:NOTADVERTISING (likewise), NP:NOR, NP:NPOV, NP:COI, and probably quite a few others.
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@ben_lubar said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
@hardwaregeek said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
@heterodox WP:Notability is the first one I thought of, but there are also WP:SPIP (the advertised purpose of the article is specifically to violate this), WP:NOTADVERTISING (likewise), NP:NOR, NP:NPOV, NP:COI, and probably quite a few others.
Oops, I forgot WP:Oh I say, what are you doing? Come down from there at once! Really, you're making a frightful exhibition of yourself.
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@ben_lubar said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
Oops, I forgot WP:Oh I say, what are you doing? Come down from there at once! Really, you're making a frightful exhibition of yourself.
I've since used this principle many times outside Wikipedia: Don't stuff beans up your nose
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@heterodox said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
@ben_lubar said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
Oops, I forgot WP:Oh I say, what are you doing? Come down from there at once! Really, you're making a frightful exhibition of yourself.
I've since used this principle many times outside Wikipedia: Don't stuff beans up your nose
Whoops, I managed to break the link. Should be clickable now.
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"That's why we sent you this unwanted email."
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@hardwaregeek said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
Also, Kafka is an absolutely terrible name for your software, at least if you want anyone to actually use it.
Sounds like it would be extremely buggy
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@boomzilla
I see is still writing copy for SO.
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Oh sod off!
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Windows gave me another "priority mail":
I am also now a manager, woo! Surprise promotion!
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@atazhaia That Face When Valve!
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@blakeyrat said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
@atazhaia That Face When Valve!
That Feeling When VALVE
Edit: here are some more
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Subject: <name> want to process 18B+ events/day?
I read "188+ events/day". Huh? Must be spam.
Looks. Oh, it's a recruiter. "Want to process 18 billion events a day..." Oh, now the subject makes a little more sense.(So, it's now just generic LinkedIn spam as opposed to the other kind)
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Not sure if this fits but I'm hesitant to start an entire thread for something I wouldn't even call a WTF Bite.
https://what.thedailywtf.com/assets/uploads/files/1527966386525-email.webm
Clicking "view as webpage" displayed it correctly.
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@lb_ said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
displayed it correctly.
Must not have closed that
<hr/>
in the version they sent you?
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@tsaukpaetra it's not exactly clear to me what went wrong:
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Another Trusted Sender!
I like the fine print at the bottom talking about copyright and trademarks.
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Lately, almost every single spam email I get is from "Ariel Sanders". The spam filter is finally starting to catch them, but several per day still get through.
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@mott555 said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
Lately, almost every single spam email I get is from "Ariel Sanders". The spam filter is finally starting to catch them, but several per day still get through.
Most of the ones I get are pushing either photo editing services or custom printed USB fobs.
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@blek said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
@blek The saga continues! Now with a massive multilayered .
Hire developers from someone with an
@gmail.com
address? Not as bad as the@aol.com
I saw on the side of a van but still...
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@boomzilla said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
I like the fine print at the bottom talking about copyright and trademarks.
Why_are_all_the_words_connected_with_underscores?
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@hardwaregeek said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
@boomzilla said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
I like the fine print at the bottom talking about copyright and trademarks.
Why_are_all_the_words_connected_with_underscores?
Probably a misguided attempt to confuse spam filters, despite those underscores being there not being something that would happen in legitimate emails.
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[All body text centered, but I can't figure out how to get that through the sanitizer.]
Subject: Call For Paper
EPH journal
editor@[REDACTED]
Impact Factor 3.692
Dear Author,
This is an invitation for you to submit research papers for publication in our Monthly Published online journal.
We invite manuscript from various field of science and technology, engineering and science, medical and biology, business management and much more.
Status: Publish papers online
Submit your manuscript at submission@[REDACTED]
Visit our website: [REDACTED]
You can submit your CV to join our editorial board. editor@[REDACTED]
Thanks
Editor, EPH
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@greybeard said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
how to get that through the sanitizer
Normally we just paste a picture.
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@tsaukpaetra said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
@greybeard said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
how to get that through the sanitizer
Normally we just paste a picture.
I prefer pictures for two reasons:
- It retains the original in
tentsanity - Google doesn't think this is a spam page. (It already gets confused enough by @error's user profile.)
- It retains the original in
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Status: Just clearing out today's front page comment queue.
ENHANCE
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Spam submission via the contact form on my website:
Hi,
My name is [spammer] and I was looking at a few different sites online and came across your site [redacted]. I must say - your website is very impressive. I found your website on the first page of the Search Engine.
Have you noticed that 70 percent of visitors who leave your website will never return? In most cases, this means that 95 percent to 98 percent of your marketing efforts are going to waste, not to mention that you are losing more money in customer acquisition costs than you need to.
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If you would like to talk to me about this service, please give me a call. We do offer a 30 days free trial.
Thanks and Best Regards,
[spammer]That is exactly what I want! I really really really want my phone to ring every single time the Google bot re-indexes my site! And I really really really want to rack up GPDDDR5 violations every time an EU subject stumbles upon my site! Brillant!
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@ben_lubar Hang on, hang on...did you at least look into how much 150 rubles were worth?
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Accidentally clicking on a Win10 notification when trying to clear it leads to much joy... (unsubscribe works at least since this is a "legit" email)
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Oh you fuck right off....
Edit: I suppose I should redact my phone number, as if anyone cares...
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@tsaukpaetra I told your revision history to fuck off for that post for you.
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@ben_lubar said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
@tsaukpaetra I told your revision history to fuck off for that post for you.
Sure, thanks. I had the image deleted in that he's fangled list thing too anyways.
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Ok, it's not an email - it's a phone call, but I think it still fits the spirit of the thread! (Picture of my [ancient] caller id device on my landline)
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@dcon said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
it's a phone call
Well, if we're going to include phone calls...
Y'all know I work for a consulting company that places me with various clients for a few months at a time. Due to a clerical error, when my assignment at the previous client ended and the current one began, the health insurance administrator was notified that I was terminated but not "rehired." (Apparently, that's how the company handles assignment changes. ) That was straightened out pretty quickly, but not before I got on somebody's list of people whose insurance had been cancelled.
I started getting daily calls, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, from somebody trying to sell me health insurance "at a price point you can afford." Because the robocaller and prerecorded message didn't account for the possibility that the call might go to voicemail, "at a price point you can afford" is the exact point almost every message began. Bonus: The calls came from a variety of numbers scattered all over the US (so one could not simply block the number, because it was never the same number), but always with exactly the same prerecorded message.
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I'm not sure if spammers are aware that Obama is no longer the President.
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Greetings,
Through a recently finalized investigative program finessed by the Board of Directors of World Lottery Association; we want to announce to you that you're one among the beneficiaries of this program which was organized to recover all unclaimed lottery winnings over the years from all Lottery Benefactors.
The management of the World Lottery Association recently organized a program to trace and recover all unclaimed lottery winnings from all lottery Benefactors around the globe; The need arose because of several reports in our office about failed lottery claims from around the World.
Enlisted among other recovered winnings which have been thoroughly investigated and approved is your Lottery Winnings of Twenty Six Million, Three Hundred and Fifty Thousand United States Dollars ( $26,350,000.00 ).All recovered winnings are deposited with one of the Banks with best worldwide services for dispatch of the funds to the beneficiaries at contact; United Bank For Africa have been tasked therefore to handle all transactions to a logical conclusion.
You're advised to contact the management of United Bank For Africa today through the outlined information below and request for your lottery winnings of $26,350,000.00.BANK INFO:
Bank Name: United Bank For Africa
Email: office.onlineinquiries@gmail.comContact the Bank with your Transaction File Code Number ( WLA/021.PG/512 ) and a full identification of yourself which must include; Your Name ---, Address----, Phone Number----, Profession--- and Age---.
All deposits have been confirmed by the management of United Bank For Africa and Funds have been made available for receipt; so do not hesitate to contact the Bank as soon as you receive this message.
Thank you.
Yours truly,
Mr. Jean-Luc Moner-Banet.
President,
World Lottery Association.Lange Gasse 20. CH-4002, Basel, Switzerland.
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@hardwaregeek said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
at a price point you can afford
Gotta wonder how such a mass-mailing service handles its licensing.
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Oh no, someone tried to login to my email that is its own recovery address.
Good thing my password doesn't work.Filed under: <div antimicrobial='annoyingly'>
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@zecc said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
my email that is its own recovery address.
My primary email account recovery address is only one digit off from the address itself. I probably shouldn't have made it a circular dependency...
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@tsaukpaetra Is the recovery address
tsaukpaetrb@gmail.com
?
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@hungrier said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
@tsaukpaetra Is the recovery address
tsaukpaetrb@gmail.com
?You know, I think I should... one sec....
Wait, the fuck?
THE FUCK?!?!?!?
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@tsaukpaetra You thought those "Use your account within 90 days or it will be deleted" mails were spam, didn't you?