The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
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@boomzilla said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
I was expecting punchline about nobody expects the Spandex intermission.
INB4: That's the joke
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@karla Perhaps she could wait it out by watching part of one of the Avengers movies. I'm pretty sure a spandex ballet would be more to her liking.
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@boomzilla said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Making the top must have been tyresome. They not supposed to be that flat.
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@zecc said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@boomzilla said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Making the top must have been tyresome. They not supposed to be that flat.
i'm wondering how they did that tbqh........ non-euclidean geometry does not translate that well to euclidean geometry so.... maybe it's a mold that was carved and then used to mold the table?
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@accalia said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@zecc said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@boomzilla said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Making the top must have been tyresome. They not supposed to be that flat.
i'm wondering how they did that tbqh........ non-euclidean geometry does not translate that well to euclidean geometry so.... maybe it's a mold that was carved and then used to mold the table?
It looks to me like they just used the flat part of the tread, so mostly cylindrical, not really toroidal:
That strip could be unrolled pretty flat.
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What's a cryptographer's favourite breakfast food?
3830580a8eeea6f3b1d777ee46f2ebc33ee6b9dc231798e7556e3b46e13fbb16
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@pjh said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
3830580a8eeea6f3b1d777ee46f2ebc33ee6b9dc231798e7556e3b46e13fbb16
Well that's not what i thought it was at first.......
Base64 decode: koW{y7o\}{ǻ瞞ݾ:{]mz
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@accalia through ultra 3j33t h0x0r techniques I've determined that the original string is "browns"
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@hungrier said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@accalia through ultra 3j33t h0x0r techniques I've determined that the original string is "browns"
Shouldn't that be
78b93f6447f7b2a337c9f47f2930af6fa1bb71ae99fd3e568bdcee2d01a7e3b0
?
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@rhywden said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@hungrier said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@accalia through ultra 3j33t h0x0r techniques I've determined that the original string is "browns"
Shouldn't that be
78b93f6447f7b2a337c9f47f2930af6fa1bb71ae99fd3e568bdcee2d01a7e3b0
?It shouldn't. The joke works by treating the phrase "hash browns" as hash("browns").
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@pjh said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
What's a cryptographer's favourite breakfast food?
3830580a8eeea6f3b1d777ee46f2ebc33ee6b9dc231798e7556e3b46e13fbb16
Without checking the rainbows I'm betting it's "browns" hashed.
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@tsaukpaetra Rainbows don't have brown anyway.
Unless the unicorn has diarrhea.
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@zecc said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@tsaukpaetra Rainbows don't have brown anyway.
Unless the unicorn has diarrhea.
Mmmm taste the rainb--
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@zecc said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@tsaukpaetra Rainbows don't have brown anyway.
Uh, no comment. Speaking of rainbows and brown, I just was on the topic of Grindr a moment ago, so if you'll excuse me, I need to I go shave, have a shower, give myself a high colonic, and get dressed for my hook-up.
Filed Under: Just kidding. No one would ever swipe-right on me.
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@scholrlea said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Filed Under: Just kidding. No one would ever swipe-right on me.
I'm growing a beard to see how that affects my chances.
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@tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@scholrlea said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Filed Under: Just kidding. No one would ever swipe-right on me.
I'm growing a beard to see how that affects my chances.
I'm pretty sure there's no way for me to grow a human-looking body over the Lovecraftian abomination I currently have.
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I should mention, for those who might be more sheltered, that 'cleaning out' before bootysecks is in fact a thing. Not everyone does it, though, and most of the time, it isn't a problem as long as you go slow and are careful not to irritate certain mucus membranes too severely. However, not doing it can lead to some unwanted consequences on occasion, so a lot of people who are into this sort of thing try to get everything evacuated beforehand when they expect to be going down the Hershey highway in the near future.
And yes, I am speaking from experience on this. Messy, unpleasant experience.
Oh, and I would shower after I do that, not before. I just thought it was funnier to say it in that order.
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@scholrlea Taylor explains it better
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Q: Why don't they make pencils with an eraser on both ends?
A: Because then what would be the point?
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@masonwheeler this is so bad it hurts.
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Ah, sod it… I'll post here as well...
Caitlyn Jenner came out today and said she was groped by Bruce Jenner over a several year period. [source]
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This Fibonacci joke is going to be worse than the last two jokes ...
.. combined
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"My wife suffers from alcoholism."
"I didn't notice her drinking that much."
"No. I drink, she suffers."
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@obeselymorbid said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
"My wife suffers from alcoholism."
"I didn't notice her drinking that much."
"No. I drink, she suffers."Usually that's not just a joke.
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@chozang said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@obeselymorbid said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
"My wife suffers from alcoholism."
"I didn't notice her drinking that much."
"No. I drink, she suffers."Usually that's not just a joke.
Even when it is, it isn't.
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Why was the orchestra program rated mature?
It had violins.
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@xaade said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Why was the orchestra program rated mature?
It had violins.
Sax and violins!
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@da-doctah said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@xaade said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Why was the orchestra program rated mature?
It had violins.
Sax and violins! And a woman fiddling with a pianist!
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@boner said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@da-doctah said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@xaade said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Why was the orchestra program rated mature?
It had violins.
Sax and violins! And a woman fiddling with a pianist! And some serious tromboning!
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Today, I decided I really need to start paying attention to my surroundings.
Just a few days ago, I bought tickets to a David Bowie gig for me and my son. It wasn't until I came back home that I remembered he's been dead for a year.
What's more, my wife told me David Bowie is dead too.
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"Do you promise that the testimony you shall give in the case before this court shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"
"I do."
"Are you aware of the consequences of false testimony?"
"Yes, they said I'll get 10 grand."
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@PJH said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
This Fibonacci joke is going to be worse than the last two jokes ...
.. combined
Wouldn't it be...
... just as bad?
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@xaade said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Why was the orchestra program rated mature?
It had violins.
Emily Litella does not see the problem.
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"He wrote my name uncapitalised. I think this might be an early sign that our relationship is starting to have some trouble."
"Show me, maybe it's not that bad."
"It's over. go fuck yourself kate"
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@erufael said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
A thing that actually works quite well.
I prefer eucalyptus oil for that sort of thing. It also works quite well.
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Two very old guys are sitting on a bench. A young woman walks by.
As she goes out of view one of the guys says to his friend:
"Remember the times when a woman just walking by would get you an erection?"The other guy replies: "Yeah, I guess nowadays they don't make women like they used to."
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@boner said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Sorry, you are not authorized to see this status.
This account's Tweets are protected.
Only confirmed followers have access to @jonnyyy___'s Tweets and complete profile. Click the "Follow" button to send a follow request.
Well then.
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@zecc that's changed since yesterday. Fixed.
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Hidden for your sanity
: Yes! Yes! YES! I'M CUMMING!
: Nice to meet you Cumming. I'm Dave.
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@accalia The NSFW dad joke thread is... Oh, wait, we might not have that combo just yet.
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You'd think snails would be faster without their shells, but they're actually more sluggish...
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I'm getting my son a fridge for Christmas.
I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
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