The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@dkf I've ascended 89 times. Barely 2 days since my last ascension where I have maybe 20 million heavenly chips awaiting me. (PC not currently on, can't check)
But this run, overall, started 324 days ago.
Besides, waiting until I have 100 million chips stocked up to get the upgrade to sugar cubes so they spawn faster than once every 20 hours or so.
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One of the new Heavenly upgrades (or whatever they're called) only appears when your prestige level ends in 777,777.
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@arantor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
But this run, overall, started 324 days ago.
Ah. That's the legacy time. I've done rather fewer ascensions (as I didn't do much for a very long time) but I'm on 424 days. :) Only 11 days for the current run though.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Someday it will.
fuck will!
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As seen on Facebook:
Office briefing on safety : "What do you do in case of armed intruder?"
Me: "I grab scissors, a letter opener, and a pot of hot coffee, tell the women with kids and those over 55 to retreat, find my point of ambush, then I say a prayer."
My boss: "While I appreciate the sentiment... no, Rich... just... no."
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@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Late, but the real o.O here is the comments thread.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
As seen on Facebook:
Office briefing on safety : "What do you do in case of armed intruder?"
Me: "I grab scissors, a letter opener, and a pot of hot coffee, tell the women with kids and those over 55 to retreat, find my point of ambush, then I say a prayer."
My boss: "While I appreciate the sentiment... no, Rich... just... no."The correct answer is you cower in a corner and wait for the intruder to slowly stab you to death.
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@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
As seen on Facebook:
Office briefing on safety : "What do you do in case of armed intruder?"
Me: "I grab scissors, a letter opener, and a pot of hot coffee, tell the women with kids and those over 55 to retreat, find my point of ambush, then I say a prayer."
My boss: "While I appreciate the sentiment... no, Rich... just... no."The correct answer is you cower in a corner and wait for the intruder to slowly stab you to death.
It's like duck and cover, but for armed intruders!
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@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
As seen on Facebook:
Office briefing on safety : "What do you do in case of armed intruder?"
Me: "I grab scissors, a letter opener, and a pot of hot coffee, tell the women with kids and those over 55 to retreat, find my point of ambush, then I say a prayer."
My boss: "While I appreciate the sentiment... no, Rich... just... no."The correct answer is you cower in a corner and wait for the intruder to slowly stab you to death.
No. Though I don't know what Rich's boss thought.
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@boomzilla Probably the run-hide-fight instructions. To paraphrase: 1. Run -- get as much distance between you and the intruder as possible. 2. Hide -- if it's not possible to run, or you don't know where the intruder is, find a good hiding spot and be quiet. Close doors, turn off lights, make it look like you're out of town. 3. Fight -- if all else fails and you're confronted by the intruder, that's when you go for the stapler and hot coffee and anything else you can find that might help you.
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@anotherusername Yes, that's basically what the training I took says.
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla Probably the run-hide-fight instructions. To paraphrase: 1. Run -- get as much distance between you and the intruder as possible. 2. Hide -- if it's not possible to run, or you don't know where the intruder is, find a good hiding spot and be quiet. Close doors, turn off lights, make it look like you're out of town. 3. Fight -- if all else fails and you're confronted by the intruder, that's when you go for the stapler and hot coffee and anything else you can find that might help you.
I'm conflicted about that advice. It may maximize personal safety, but at what cost? I work in a school (a prototypical weapon free zone). If all the adults run at the first sign of trouble, then who protects those that can't run or hide (or fight)?
My current classroom has a large (larger than a walk-in) locked closet big enough to fit most or all of my students (small classes). My current plan is (in the event of an actual attacker):
- put the kids in the closet.
- lock the door/draw the blinds. With luck, any attacker unfamiliar with the school will miss the room entirely. It's in a strange place.
- If they come in through the door, jump them and do my best to take their weapon and use it against them, even if it means getting hurt myself.
Let the kids run and hide, but by all that's holy I'm going to fight. The kids mean more to me than my own hide.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
As seen on Facebook:
Office briefing on safety : "What do you do in case of armed intruder?"
Me: "I grab scissors, a letter opener, and a pot of hot coffee, tell the women with kids and those over 55 to retreat, find my point of ambush, then I say a prayer."
My boss: "While I appreciate the sentiment... no, Rich... just... no."We found Dwight Schrute.
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@blek well, that does fit the topic of this thread. Because of that, I won't mention the practical considerations that would make that suggestion less efficient.
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@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm conflicted about that advice. It may maximize personal safety, but at what cost? I work in a school (a prototypical weapon free zone). If all the adults run at the first sign of trouble, then who protects those that can't run or hide (or fight)?
Yeah, presumably training for a school would involve dealing with students. The training I took was for, like, an office setting where everyone is pretty much presumed to be adults.
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@boomzilla But sadly it doesn't differ. That training is very similar to what we received. Now if I was allowed to carry at school...
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@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla Probably the run-hide-fight instructions. To paraphrase: 1. Run -- get as much distance between you and the intruder as possible. 2. Hide -- if it's not possible to run, or you don't know where the intruder is, find a good hiding spot and be quiet. Close doors, turn off lights, make it look like you're out of town. 3. Fight -- if all else fails and you're confronted by the intruder, that's when you go for the stapler and hot coffee and anything else you can find that might help you.
I'm conflicted about that advice. It may maximize personal safety, but at what cost? I work in a school (a prototypical weapon free zone). If all the adults run at the first sign of trouble, then who protects those that can't run or hide (or fight)?
My current classroom has a large (larger than a walk-in) locked closet big enough to fit most or all of my students (small classes). My current plan is (in the event of an actual attacker):
- put the kids in the closet.
- lock the door/draw the blinds. With luck, any attacker unfamiliar with the school will miss the room entirely. It's in a strange place.
- If they come in through the door, jump them and do my best to take their weapon and use it against them, even if it means getting hurt myself.
Let the kids run and hide, but by all that's holy I'm going to fight. The kids mean more to me than my own hide.
What happens to the kids if you're injured (or worse) and can't free them?
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@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm conflicted about that advice. It may maximize personal safety, but at what cost? I work in a school (a prototypical weapon free zone). If all the adults run at the first sign of trouble, then who protects those that can't run or hide (or fight)?
I'm not sure if it's taught in schools, or how. As bz said, it's mainly for office-type disgruntled employee shootings. I'd imagine at the very least it'd stress the fact that teachers who are responsible for a class of kids need to stay with those kids, so if the whole class can't try to flee, then it'd basically just be as you said: hide as best as possible; fight only if it comes to that.
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@pleegwat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla Probably the run-hide-fight instructions. To paraphrase: 1. Run -- get as much distance between you and the intruder as possible. 2. Hide -- if it's not possible to run, or you don't know where the intruder is, find a good hiding spot and be quiet. Close doors, turn off lights, make it look like you're out of town. 3. Fight -- if all else fails and you're confronted by the intruder, that's when you go for the stapler and hot coffee and anything else you can find that might help you.
I'm conflicted about that advice. It may maximize personal safety, but at what cost? I work in a school (a prototypical weapon free zone). If all the adults run at the first sign of trouble, then who protects those that can't run or hide (or fight)?
My current classroom has a large (larger than a walk-in) locked closet big enough to fit most or all of my students (small classes). My current plan is (in the event of an actual attacker):
- put the kids in the closet.
- lock the door/draw the blinds. With luck, any attacker unfamiliar with the school will miss the room entirely. It's in a strange place.
- If they come in through the door, jump them and do my best to take their weapon and use it against them, even if it means getting hurt myself.
Let the kids run and hide, but by all that's holy I'm going to fight. The kids mean more to me than my own hide.
What happens to the kids if you're injured (or worse) and can't free them?
Shootings typically don't take very long. The cops show up in full force and as soon as they neutralize the threat they'll do a sweep of the building. The kids would be found, and even if they were not initially found, the roster would show that there's a whole class missing. They wouldn't get forgotten.
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm conflicted about that advice. It may maximize personal safety, but at what cost? I work in a school (a prototypical weapon free zone). If all the adults run at the first sign of trouble, then who protects those that can't run or hide (or fight)?
I'm not sure if it's taught in schools, or how. As bz said, it's mainly for office-type disgruntled employee shootings. I'd imagine at the very least it'd stress the fact that teachers who are responsible for a class of kids need to stay with those kids, so if the whole class can't try to flee, then it'd basically just be as you said: hide as best as possible.
We're taught not to flee at all due to the fact that we usually don't know where the attacker actually is in large schools. Thus, when there is such an alarm (called the "Amok Alarm" in Germany) we are supposed to lock the doors and then barricade them.
The Amok Alarm has its own special announcement and there are no drills for those due to the sheer amount of panic even a training drill will create (and announcing that it's a drill is rather pointless in my view).
I actually know what this announcement sounds like because when they installed the system, the workers accidentally crossed the wrong wires and triggered the alarm during class (but in the afternoon, so school was only half-full). Luckily it wasn't yet connected to the police hotline because otherwise we'd have had the German equivalent of a SWAT team bursting through the doors... but those were some pretty tense minutes nonetheless (until our very pissed principal announced that it was a false alarm.)
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@pydsigner said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Late, but the real o.O here is the comments thread.
LOL
TOO SOON #rememberSteve
(drowned robot 'shopped in)
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@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Now if I was allowed to carry at school...
Move to Utah.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I once saw a video clip of a lady who could puff vaginally.
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This is my every day, just swap out "design" for any number of other things:
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My brother-in-law is a pharmacist. Every year for Xmas he gives me amusing pharmacy labels. The best ones are "For rectal use only". I like to put them on gas pump nozzles and imagine it brightens up the day of others.
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Paging @RaceProUK
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@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
This is my every day, just swap out "design" for any number of other things:
Mine as well, except also swap JIRA for TDWTF.
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@raceprouk I should have known.
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@RaceProUK the best part about "& Knuckles" is that you can put it in any title that contains a list.
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@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@RaceProUK the best part about "& Knuckles" is that you can put it in any title that contains a list.
It's almost like that's the joke...
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Guys, you've missed the anniversary by a month.
@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
- World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King and Knuckles
- Slaves to Armok: God of Blood: Chapter II: Dwarf Fortress and Knuckles
- Defense of the Ancients and Knuckles
- Alien Swarm and Knuckles
hypothesis: any game title can be improved by the addition of one or more "and Knuckles"
- The 2016 Republican National Convention and Knuckles
- Civilized Discourse Construction Kit and Knuckles
- Microsoft Windows Phone 7 Series and Knuckles
- johnoliversecstapes.com and Knuckles
hypothesis: any
gametitle of anything can be improved by the addition of one or more "and Knuckles"
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@zecc Is that in reference to something?
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@boner
would definitely click there
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@jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@zecc Is that in reference to something?
Just in reference to people crying when getting a marriage proposal, I guess.
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http://www.huffingtonpost.de/2017/08/31/npd-partei-voelklingen_n_17877084.html
For those who don't speak German:
We have several parties in Germany, among them smaller ones like the Wannabe-Nazis (NPD) and a fullblown satire party (which calls itself "The Party" which usually result in newspaper articles beginning with "The party The Party...").
So there's this city hall meeting to introduce the candidates for the election of mayor of Völklingen. I'll roughly translate what was said:
Uwe Faust (member of The Party): "Mr. Best, according to our civil law, every citizen is required to have a publicly visible number on his or her house. While strolling through our town, I noticed with shock how many of our houses are now sporting arabic numerals. What are you willing to do about this sign of creeping foreign infiltration?
some laughter can be heard
Otfried Best (member of the NPD): "Just wait, when I'm mayor I'll change that and install normal numerals again!"
hall erupts in uproarious laughter
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@jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@zecc Is that in reference to something?
Well, it's an onion, and she's crying, so the reasonable and obvious conclusion would be that it reminded her of the Silk Road .onion service being shut down.
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@hungrier said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
she's crying
Or is she covering her nose because she farted?