The Official Status Thread
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@dkf said in The Official Status Thread:
@dreikin said in The Official Status Thread:
Applejack - breakfast is the most important meal of the day, after all.
And Applejack is the alcoholic one, yes?
I was thinking of the farm girl, but sure. I mean, if you want to be that kind of person.
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
Status: Little brother just asked me: "Which one's better, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, or Princess Sparkle?"
The correct answer is: stop watching silly horses and watch a proper cartoon like Inspector Gadget or Bucky O'Hare and the Toad Wars
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@jaloopa said in The Official Status Thread:
@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
Status: Little brother just asked me: "Which one's better, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, or Princess Sparkle?"
The correct answer is: stop watching silly horses and watch a proper cartoon like Inspector Gadget or Bucky O'Hare and the Toad Wars
E_INDEX_OUT_OF_BOUNDS
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STATUS
Interviews are picking up steam this and next week. Next mettle is Wednesday evening, 8PM CET. A senior/medior wants to switch from PHP/jQuery to our hipster stack, but he'll have to sort and filter some fruit first (imagine a trailer/poster from that description).
Also, I am finally given a go-ahead to organize these candidates a bit. While I have my mettle threads, Boss has been using basically skype and email history to keep track of people (organizer, he is not). So now, everything goes into a shared google sheet.
I wonder if I can add a hidden column with links to mettle threads, hmm.....
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@cartman82 would suggest not having hidden column, just in case boss finds it by accident.
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#Status
Good Jorb Salesforce........
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@r10pez10 Don't you know it takes 14 months to do a search-and-replace for
s/Philospher's/Sorceror's/g
?
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@raceprouk said in The Official Status Thread:
@r10pez10 Don't you know it takes 14 months to do a search-and-replace for
s/Philospher's/Sorceror's/g
?Challenge: create a search and replace algorithm that will take 14 months to work on something she size of a children's book.
I reckon a Shlemiel algorithm is the place to start
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@jaloopa said in The Official Status Thread:
@raceprouk said in The Official Status Thread:
@r10pez10 Don't you know it takes 14 months to do a search-and-replace for
s/Philospher's/Sorceror's/g
?Challenge: create a search and replace algorithm that will take 14 months to work on something she size of a children's book.
I reckon a Shlemiel algorithm is the place to start
- open and read whole source file to get its length,
len
- close source file
- if
len
is 0, abort - set
len
= 0 - do
- open source file and read
len
bytes - open destination file and read all the way to end
- read the next byte from source file, and append it to the end of the destination file
- close both files
- open and read whole destination file to get its length,
len2
- close destination file
- count characters in
search_str
,search_len
- if
len2
>=search_len
- open destination file and read
len2
-search_len
bytes - create
str_buffer
large enough to holdsearch_len
bytes - read
search_len
bytes from destination file intostr_buffer
- close destination file
- if
search_str
is equal tostr_buffer
- open temporary file
- open destination file and copy
len2
-search_len
bytes into the temporary file - write
replace_str
to the end of temporary file - close both files
- do the delete-rename shuffle so that the temporary file is now the destination file
- open destination file and read
- open and read whole source file to get its length,
len2
- close source file
- increment
len
by 1
- open source file and read
- while
len
<len2
If that's not slow enough yet, it could easily be improved by making it re-read the whole destination file to get each byte to put into
str_buffer
... and naturally since that loop has to runsearch_len
times, you'd put the code that calculatessearch_len
inside the loop to make sure it runs as many times as possible.
- open and read whole source file to get its length,
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status: cooties!
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@ben_lubar @by-joining-this-group-you-agree-to-be-mentioned-randomly-for-no-reason-is-that-okay-yes-no
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status: wow, I exceeded my personal cell data cap...
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You're surprised you exceeded your data soft cap by tethering?
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@ben_lubar said in The Official Status Thread:
@SomeIndonesianGuysBlogWith90PercentAdsThatApparentlyHasItsOwnTwitterAccountThatFollowedMeForNoReason
Isn't Twitter like 60% bots programmed to follow random people? Not really surprising.
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
Status: Little brother just asked me: "Which one's better, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, or Princess Sparkle?"
The lesbian one.
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@accalia said in The Official Status Thread:
#Status
Good Jorb Salesforce........
Maybe it's actually alive and that's its blood pressure?
edit: tho I'd be a little worried about it then...
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Status: Apparently the Photos app wants to be able to edit my photos...
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@jazzyjosh said in The Official Status Thread:
You're surprised you exceeded your data soft cap by tethering?
No, a site I frequent has recently started the bass-ackwards practice of serving video ads (but only on mobile). So I can download several megabytes of ads each page.
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Status: Trying to convert LEFT OUTER JOIN to WHERE EXISTS makes my head hurt.
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@izzion said in The Official Status Thread:
Status: Trying to convert LEFT OUTER JOIN to WHERE EXISTS makes my head hurt.
My use case for Left Outer Join is usually for WHERE NOT EXISTS IME...
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@tsaukpaetra
Well, in this case it is a WHERE EXISTS, I'm just trying to rack my brain to make sure I'm not missing any logical corner cases, since this code is in a legacy part of the code base and all I'm really going to be able to do testing wise is throw some search parameters at the SQL stored procedure...SELECT DISTINCT values FROM basetable a LEFT OUTER JOIN filtertable b ON a.PK = b.FK WHERE ( a.filter1 = @searchterm OR a.filter2 = @searchterm OR a.filter3 = @searchterm OR b.filter4 = @searchterm ) AND a.location = @location
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@izzion said in The Official Status Thread:
Well, in this case it is a WHERE EXISTS, I'm just trying to
rackwreck my brainFTFSQL
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Status: Shutup, Skype!
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@anotherusername said in The Official Status Thread:
If that's not slow enough yet, it could easily be improved by making it re-read the whole destination file to get each byte to put into str_buffer... and naturally since that loop has to run search_len times, you'd put the code that calculates search_len inside the loop to make sure it runs as many times as possible.
Actually, what you actually do is you hire a bunch of minimum wage copyists somewhere and get them to each rewrite a page from a PDF of the original in Word. Then you try to sew the whole thing back together and send it back to the author for them to validate whether you've done it right. Anything wrong (and there's bound to be lots) and you start over.
Or at least that seems to be how it works with academic papers. Fuckers.
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
No, a site I frequent has recently started the bass-ackwards practice of serving video ads (but only on mobile). So I can download several megabytes of ads each page.
{eyetwitch}
And people wonder why I adblock so hard.
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@lorne-kates said in The Official Status Thread:
@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
No, a site I frequent has recently started the bass-ackwards practice of serving video ads (but only on mobile). So I can download several megabytes of ads each page.
{eyetwitch}
And people wonder why I adblock so hard.
What's funny is that in Desktop mode, the web browser gets served the text ads.
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Status:
You don't say?
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status: I swear my dad wants the house to burn down!
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@izzion said in The Official Status Thread:
@tsaukpaetra
Well, in this case it is a WHERE EXISTS, I'm just trying to rack my brain to make sure I'm not missing any logical corner cases, since this code is in a legacy part of the code base and all I'm really going to be able to do testing wise is throw some search parameters at the SQL stored procedure...SELECT DISTINCT values FROM basetable a LEFT OUTER JOIN filtertable b ON a.PK = b.FK WHERE ( a.filter1 = @searchterm OR a.filter2 = @searchterm OR a.filter3 = @searchterm OR b.filter4 = @searchterm ) AND a.location = @location
Why not
@searchterm IN (a.filter1, a.filter2, a.filter3, a.filter4)
?
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
I swear my dad wants the house to burn down!
Easier than hoovering that floor?
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@jaloopa said in The Official Status Thread:
@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
I swear my dad wants the house to burn down!
Easier than hoovering that floor?
The cofvefe table is freaking heavy, and it's inconvenient to shampoo the carpet as-is. Gets cleaned semiannual.
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Status: Recovered someone's code out of the Internet Archive. I'm guessing that the author died and their websites have bit-rotted. :( But hooray for the IA.
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status: warning: an unknown error has been detected in Unknown overload, and gastrointestinal functionality has been halted for more than six hours.
Warning: low hydration.
Warning: stomach abnormally filled for extended timeout. Detected possible blockage?
Error: successful detection of tier 3 hypervisor, this should never happen!
Critical notice: unexpected TTY device interface detected.
Notice: insufficient resources to continue stopping.
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
unexpected TTY device interface detected.
is that what you call your butt plug?
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That feeling when doing something the correct way results in working completely different to what you're trying to replicate, so you start having to put in more hacks to duplicate what are probably bugs, technically
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@jaloopa said in The Official Status Thread:
That feeling when doing something the correct way results in working completely different to what you're trying to replicate, so you start having to put in more hacks to duplicate what are probably bugs, technically
Sounds like working on Windows
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Status: just replied to someone asking me about how a component on our platform works by responding with the M C Escher staircases (Relativity) image.
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@jaloopa
In general, doing@inputscalar IN (columnA, columnB, columnC)
is guaranteed to be the worst possible way, since it will prevent SQL from using any indexes on the columns in your IN to search, and require SQL to read the entire table to start searching.For this specific case:
- The current method (listed in my previous post): does a full scan of both tables, reads 16MB of data and takes 320ms of CPU time
- @searchterm IN: does a full scan of both tables, reads 16MB of data and takes 280ms of CPU time
- Converting the Left Outer Join to a WHERE EXISTS: does index seeks in the covering indexes that already exist for the 4 filter columns, reads 120KB of data and takes <1ms of CPU time
SELECT DISTINCT values FROM basetable a WHERE ( a.filter1 = @searchterm OR a.filter2 = @searchterm OR a.filter3 = @searchterm OR EXISTS ( SELECT 1 FROM filtertable b WHERE a.PK = b.FK AND b.filter4 = @searchterm ) ) AND a.location = @location
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Daily reminder that this scene is canon
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@izzion said in The Official Status Thread:
Converting the Left Outer Join to a WHERE EXISTS: does index seeks in the covering indexes that already exist for the 4 filter columns, reads 120KB of data and takes <1ms of CPU time
Nice
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<- Lately your parties have not been up to par
...ty
Actually, I should stay recognizable as SH game host.
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It's only 10:30 a.m. and I already want to murder all my coworkers, shortly to be followed by the developers of Git.
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Time to batten down the hatches again.
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@luhmann said in The Official Status Thread:
@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
unexpected TTY device interface detected.
is that what you call your butt plug?
No, but one of the voices has become oddly quiet...
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@boner said in The Official Status Thread:
Time to batten down the hatches again.
Reading the BBC article on the same:
Veteran security expert Chris Wysopal from Veracode said the malware seemed to be spreading via some of the same Windows code loopholes exploited by Wannacry. Many firms did not patch those holes because Wannacry was tackled so quickly, he added.
Excuse me a moment...
fabricates the largest she's ever wielded
OK, I'm gonna go 'talk' to some people...
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status: yes, I'm watching Minecraft videos Google. What makes you think I randomly want to watch a pimple Popper?
.... Granted, now I kinda do, but seriously, WTF?
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@tsaukpaetra that's an ad, not a suggestion