How not to CV
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@Yamikuronue Someone seriously needs to combine all these in a project called FruitSalad.
(Is there a Marshmallow package? When we go to Grandma's for Thanksgiving, she always puts marshmallows in the fruit salad...)
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@masonwheeler said in How not to CV:
marshmallows in the fruit salad
That's normally called ambrosia, no?
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@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
Makes you wonder why they bothered.
Didn't you ever go through something like:
- Hey, I had a great idea for a project
- Think cool fruity name
- create a repo and everything
- Sit in front of code editor
- That's sound like a lot of boring work to do
- Fuck that, I'll watch some Netflix series instead
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@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
Is there any fruit that isn't used as the name of a JS project?
excellent drinking game!
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@fbmac No.
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@RaceProUK I do that all the time, but I always skip directly from step 1 to 5
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@The_Quiet_One said in How not to CV:
@ben_lubar said in How not to CV:
@The_Quiet_One said in How not to CV:
@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
@cartman82
That's a lot of JS.As much as I hate people who just overload their resumes with every js library they've so much as browsed the documentation on, I'm willing to give a pass here since they each represent some very distinct niches.
I feel like JavaScript developers should put a list of the libraries they don't use in their projects in their CV:
left-pad, five.js, addOneToInteger, APDB.js
What's really sad is I had to google those last three libraries to make sure you were being facetious, mainly because I know the first one was real.
five.js is real
addOneToInteger is real
APDB.js is the worlds fastest JavaScript library
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@ben_lubar said in How not to CV:
APDB.js is the worlds fastest JavaScript library
Huh?
Although the APDB Engine is written in machine code, I used .NET 2.0 for menu stuff, so you’ll need to have that installed as well.
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@ben_lubar said in How not to CV:
APDB.js is the worlds fastest JavaScript library
Vanilla.js is faster :P
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@fbmac said in How not to CV:
@ben_lubar said in How not to CV:
APDB.js is the worlds fastest JavaScript library
Huh?
Although the APDB Engine is written in machine code, I used .NET 2.0 for menu stuff, so you’ll need to have that installed as well.
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@masonwheeler said in How not to CV:
FruitSalad
Fruitcake might be a better name, for multiple raisins...
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@djls45 What if there's only one raisin? Or no raisins at all?
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@RaceProUK Well, I can think of at least two, so I don't think we'd have that "problem"... ;)
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@dkf said in How not to CV:
@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
What if there's only one raisin?
That's fine, old fruit.
Who are you calling 'old fruit'? :P
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@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
Who are you calling 'old fruit'? :P
I had a birthday recently, so I'm assuming me. Also, to contribute to this topic:
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@heterodox said in How not to CV:
to contribute to this topic
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@heterodox Hah! Fuckin' Treps, what a bunch of loosers.
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This post is deleted!
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TIP 11
If you're gonna "enhance" your CV with the tech we are asking for, at least don't make it obvious.
Especially if you're a frontend guy.
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@cartman82 i think you did that one already? https://what.thedailywtf.com/post/814539
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@accalia said in How not to CV:
@cartman82 i think you did that one already? https://what.thedailywtf.com/post/814539
There are so many of those... :)
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@cartman82 you sure it's not just understatement?
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@cartman82 said in How not to CV:
@accalia said in How not to CV:
@cartman82 i think you did that one already? https://what.thedailywtf.com/post/814539
There are so many of those... :)
fair.
bad resumes (and CVs) are plentiful. it's like shooting fish in a barrel.
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@accalia said in How not to CV:
@cartman82 said in How not to CV:
@accalia said in How not to CV:
@cartman82 i think you did that one already? https://what.thedailywtf.com/post/814539
There are so many of those... :)
fair.
bad resumes (and CVs) are plentiful. it's like shooting fish in a barrel.
But less fun, amiright?
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@Akko said in How not to CV:
@accalia said in How not to CV:
@cartman82 said in How not to CV:
@accalia said in How not to CV:
@cartman82 i think you did that one already? https://what.thedailywtf.com/post/814539
There are so many of those... :)
fair.
bad resumes (and CVs) are plentiful. it's like shooting fish in a barrel.
But less fun, amiright?
well....it depends on what you're shooting the fish in that barrel with
(yes, i know she's not the one that used that gun to shoot a fish in a barrel and that she's cutting down a tree instead. But i'll be damned if i post a picture of a walrus firing that gun and implying that i'd use it to shoot fish in a barrel. Not that there's anything wrong with a walrus, or that walrus.... i just don't want to accidentally imply association with the wrong species.)
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@accalia you do know that I meant shooting fish in a barrel is the more fun thing to do? I mean that gun just makes it even more so XD
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@Akko said in How not to CV:
@accalia you do know that I meant shooting fish in a barrel is the more fun thing to do? I mean that gun just makes it even more so XD
shooting fish in a bartrel with that gun, shooting resumes in a barrel with that gun, shooting trees with that gun, shooting propane tanks with that gun..... THEY ARE ALL FUCKING FUN!
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@accalia said in How not to CV:
@Akko said in How not to CV:
@accalia you do know that I meant shooting fish in a barrel is the more fun thing to do? I mean that gun just makes it even more so XD
shooting fish in a bartrel with that gun, shooting resumes in a barrel with that gun, shooting trees with that gun, shooting propane tanks with that gun..... THEY ARE ALL FUCKING FUN!
Yeah alright you've got me there ^^
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@hungrier
Sure, you can shoot fish in a barrel. But can you sort a fruit list with PHP?
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@izzion I'll meet you half way and sort a list of fish.
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@hungrier You're just looking for an excuse to use bubblesort.
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@hungrier you could sort a list in fish
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@boomzilla That looks like the microscopic creature that can exist in outer space.
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@boomzilla said in How not to CV:
@hungrier you could sort a list in fish
They didn't call it
shell-fish
?
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@The_Quiet_One said in How not to CV:
@ben_lubar said in How not to CV:
@The_Quiet_One said in How not to CV:
@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
@cartman82
That's a lot of JS.As much as I hate people who just overload their resumes with every js library they've so much as browsed the documentation on, I'm willing to give a pass here since they each represent some very distinct niches.
I feel like JavaScript developers should put a list of the libraries they don't use in their projects in their CV:
left-pad, five.js, addOneToInteger, APDB.js
What's really sad is I had to google those last three libraries to make sure you were being facetious, mainly because I know the first one was real.
Perhaps sadder, I didn't think he was being facetious.
@ben_lubar said in How not to CV:
@The_Quiet_One said in How not to CV:
@ben_lubar said in How not to CV:
@The_Quiet_One said in How not to CV:
@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
@cartman82
That's a lot of JS.As much as I hate people who just overload their resumes with every js library they've so much as browsed the documentation on, I'm willing to give a pass here since they each represent some very distinct niches.
I feel like JavaScript developers should put a list of the libraries they don't use in their projects in their CV:
left-pad, five.js, addOneToInteger, APDB.js
What's really sad is I had to google those last three libraries to make sure you were being facetious, mainly because I know the first one was real.
five.js is real
addOneToInteger is real
APDB.js is the worlds fastest JavaScript library...and I have not been left disappointed.
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@accalia said in How not to CV:
i just don't want to accidentally imply association with the wrong species
So you associated yourself with humans?
@accalia said in How not to CV:
@Akko said in How not to CV:
@accalia you do know that I meant shooting fish in a barrel is the more fun thing to do? I mean that gun just makes it even more so XD
shooting fish in a bartrel with that gun, shooting resumes in a barrel with that gun, shooting trees with that gun, shooting propane tanks with that gun..... THEY ARE ALL FUCKING FUN!
Shooting anthropomorphic hedgehogs with that gun...
@accalia said in How not to CV:
THEY ARE ALL FUCKING FUN!
Oh my.
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@boomzilla is it much better than bash? Learning a bit of bash was already work
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@wharrgarbl It is a bit better (everything is better than bash), but its still not a real programming language.
I recently usexonsh
which is actuallypython
with the added ability issue console commands (run programs with arguments).
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@hungrier said in How not to CV:
@izzion I'll meet you half way and sort a list of fish.
I'll take the other half and shoot PHP.
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TIP 12
If you can't sling English, don't. Just pack all this into bullet point lists. Keep it simple. Don't make yourself sound like an ass.
Additional tip: in your CV, you actually want to brag while sounding professional. You did the exact opposite.
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@cartman82 said in How not to CV:
If you can't sling English, don't. Just pack all this into bullet point lists. Keep it simple. Don't make yourself sound like an ass.
At least he hasn't gained comical skills while working on Node. So far as we know anyway…
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@cartman82 said in How not to CV:
TIP 12
If you can't sling English, don't. Just pack all this into bullet point lists. Keep it simple. Don't make yourself sound like an ass.
Additional tip: in your CV, you actually want to brag while sounding professional. You did the exact opposite.
More than two years in developing custom incorrectly capitalized trademark themes? That's impressive!
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TIP 13
You should also get comfortable with apostrophes.
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TIP 14
If your skill list looks like you grabbed into a huge bag of skills, pulled out a few random ones, and threw them onto a page, it's time to rethink your approach.
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@cartman82 Hey, where did you get a copy of my CV?
I may have a slightly too diverse set of skills. Although I am actually trying to make use of most of them in my current job and related activities. (Media technology + Mobile developer + Full stack developer)
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@atazhaia If you do, make sure to put the skills the company you are applying to is asking front and center, and to deprioritize the rest. In a general CV, prioritize for your strongest skills OR the skills you want to develop further.
For example, this guy's general purpose CV should have read:
Primary skills:
- HTML
- Javascript
- CSS
- Adobe Photoshop
- Adobe After Effects
Also can help with: Python, C++, Java
Languages:
- English (fluent)
- (whatever your native language is, because it's not english)
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@cartman82 Hopefully I wont have to need that for a while, and when I do I should have redefined and been able to focus on a subset of what I have learnt over the years so I have some I can put front and center with full confidence as well as purge some lesser used/unused skills completely.