Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it
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@Polygeekery said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
@dcon said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
@HardwareGeek said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
@Polygeekery said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
I'm on good behavior
Alright, where's the real @Polygeekery?
I think that's: I'
mve been put on good behaviorSurprisingly, no. I've had zero disciplinary measures from our leader in COVID exile who is likely keeping the Tokyo used underwear vending machines in business.
I was thinking more along the lines of your wife...
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@Polygeekery
Allow me to chime in with "wonderful" and my inner old man/nerd envies you.Will please somebody invoke (*) a deus-ex or somesuch that enables me to pull of a stunt like this?
/but no, I'm stuck with four cats and a network that could make Spectateswamp a blush but I digress.
leSigh
(*) expecto patronum might not suffice, red wedding .. hmmm; dim mak: bring it! ;-)
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@iKnowItsLame said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
I'm stuck with four cats and a network
Better than stuck with a Cat 4 network
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Your 4am light show incident reminds me of my co-workers first attempt at home automation.
He had it set up exactly the same way: if it's night and he arrives home (i.e. phone connects to WiFi), all the lights turn on.
The only issue? Dodgy router which would randomly temporarily disconnect the clients (i.e. his phone) in the middle of the night.
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@dcon said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
I was thinking more along the lines of your wife...
Oh. That's what you were thinking?
Pffffbt. She gave that notion up a long time ago. Now she just enjoys the mania. I don't remember what we were talking about the other night but whatever I was saying had her laughing extremely hard about something extremely inappropriate. She caught her breath for a moment and told me without a shred of uncertainty that if there's a hell we already have reservations.
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@Polygeekery said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
I don't remember what we were talking about the other night but whatever I was saying had her laughing extremely hard about something extremely inappropriate. She caught her breath for a moment and told me without a shred of uncertainty that if there's a hell we already have reservations.
I'm in this post and I don't mind.
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Polygeekery’s wife was a @boomzilla alt this whole time?
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@kazitor aren't we all?
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@kazitor said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
Polygeekery’s wife was a @boomzilla alt this whole time?
If I start seeing this:
when it is sexy time, there will be a whole lot of houses burned down and you just got bumped ahead of @Luhmann.
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@Polygeekery Understandable. No-one wants to see a Norton CD.
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@izzion Exactly.
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@izzion You could have at least cropped out the center.
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@error
Then it would have to go in a different category, can't have indexable pron on the forums
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@izzion said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
@error
Then it would have to go in a different category, can't have indexable pron on the forumsis that the human form, in its natural state, with only 3 orifices stuffed to bursting, is considered indecent.
Filed under: Hol' up
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I feel like I'm in this post, or being subtweeted, or whatever.
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@Polygeekery said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
I feel like I'm in this post, or being subtweeted, or whatever.
And since Twitter won't even show the whole image without additional clicks:
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More home automation shenanigans.
My wife and I have had this running inside joke since shortly after we started dating that I am cheating on her with a mythical mistress named "Ashley". That might seem odd to some but she will even send me a message that she is on her way home from work and say it is so I can make sure "Ashley" isn't there when she gets home. When we have big home projects going on like when I tiled our entire living room, entryway and hallways with barnwood look tile she went and spent the weekend at her mother's with the kids and told me to make sure I spent the time laying tile and not with "Ashley", etc.
When you trigger the bedtime routine that turns off all the lights and all of that and do so through Google Assistant, it should reply with:
"Goodnight $Name"
But for whatever reason, and it might be part of what caused all the lights to come on during the night in the OP, it was having trouble recognizing when my wife would trigger it. For me it worked fine. It called me by name. But when my wife triggered it it would only say "Goodnight".
Well......you can define what you want it to say when a routine is triggered. So I did. Then the other night:
"Okay Google, it's bedtime."
All the lights in the house shut off, etc.
"Goodnight Ashley."
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@Deadfast said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
Your 4am light show incident reminds me of my co-workers first attempt at home automation.
He had it set up exactly the same way: if it's night and he arrives home (i.e. phone connects to WiFi), all the lights turn on.
The only issue? Dodgy router which would randomly temporarily disconnect the clients (i.e. his phone) in the middle of the night.
I've recently reworked entirely how it does presence detection. If you install the HomeAssistant app on your phones you can have it report your GPS location to the server. So now it works based on geofencing.
This also opens up other nifty automations. You can geofence multiple areas. Some uses of that are not so useful for us, and not as useful in our current world. But let's say the world isn't a total dumpster fire and you work from an office and have tied your thermostat in to your home automation. M-F you could set HomeAssistant to adjust your thermostat to a higher or lower temperature when you leave in the morning, and if you geofence your office location you could set it to adjust it back when you leave the office at your normal time.
You would probably want to only have that trigger +/-1 hour of your normal time to commute home so there were not any false triggers if you went out to lunch or whatever. But I could see it being handy for lots of people.
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Spring is sproinging and that gets me to thinking about gardening.
Hmmmmmm, a NodeMCU or two, some soil moisture sensors, a 12V battery, solar panel, some LM2596 voltage regulators, a cheap eBay solar charge controller (no power at our garden location), some irrigation solenoids, a bit of software (that will inevitably have some bug that ends up drowning my plants and racking up a $500 water bill, because of course it will, because I would probably end up writing it), maybe throw in PubSub and report sensor measurements via MQTT back to HomeAssistant so I can make some spiffy graphs (tools, hammer, all problems are nails, you know how it goes).
But I'm also thinking that if I tackle anymore projects, or automate anything else, the likelihood of divorce will increase precipitously.
Decisions, decisions.
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We have a Alexa devices all over the house. My wife has configured two of them, which are close enough to hear each other, to erase all of the recordings for the day. So one is on a timer to trigger the other one, then it waits long enough for the other to respond so that it can confirm the order.
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Also,
@Polygeekery said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
a cheap eBay solar charge controller
and some ad hoc wiring, almost certainly done while drinking........I could very likely burn down our garden shed.
On the other hand.....I kind of want a bigger shed.
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@Polygeekery said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
Spring is sproinging and that gets me to thinking about gardening.
Hmmmmmm, a NodeMCU or two, some soil moisture sensors, a 12V battery, solar panel, some LM2596 voltage regulators, a cheap eBay solar charge controller (no power at our garden location), some irrigation solenoids, a bit of software (that will inevitably have some bug that ends up drowning my plants and racking up a $500 water bill, because of course it will, because I would probably end up writing it), maybe throw in PubSub and report sensor measurements via MQTT back to HomeAssistant so I can make some spiffy graphs (tools, hammer, all problems are nails, you know how it goes).
But I'm also thinking that if I tackle anymore projects, or automate anything else, the likelihood of divorce will increase precipitously.
Decisions, decisions.
I would hope gardening is your chance to get away from tech for a bit.
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@mikehurley said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
I would hope gardening is your chance to get away from tech for a bit.
That's what the gun range is for.
Seriously though, I actually like tech. As I have said many times before, I made my own job so if I am unhappy with it I have no one to blame but myself. I made that job in tech. I have a whole electronics bench with enough meters and power supplies and components and soldering/desoldering/hot air rework stations and bench meters that are capable of measuring down to the millionth of a volt and all sorts of other shit. That is one of my hobbies.
Besides, Midwest summers can kind of suck and there are more times than I can count where I think to myself:
"I really should water the garden, but it is Africa hot outside. Maybe after I have a beer?"
Then the only thing that gets liquid is me. So this would help solve that problem. The problem of not watering the garden, not the alcoholism.
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@Polygeekery said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
But I'm also thinking that if I tackle anymore projects, or automate anything else, the likelihood of divorce will increase precipitously.
Decisions, decisions.That's why your prenup is air tight, right?
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@Polygeekery said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
@mikehurley said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
I would hope gardening is your chance to get away from tech for a bit.
That's what the gun range is for.
Seriously though, I actually like tech. As I have said many times before, I made my own job so if I am unhappy with it I have no one to blame but myself. I made that job in tech. I have a whole electronics bench with enough meters and power supplies and components and soldering/desoldering/hot air rework stations and bench meters that are capable of measuring down to the millionth of a volt and all sorts of other shit. That is one of my hobbies.
Besides, Midwest summers can kind of suck and there are more times than I can count where I think to myself:
"I really should water the garden, but it is Africa hot outside. Maybe after I have a beer?"
Then the only thing that gets liquid is me. So this would help solve that problem. The problem of not watering the garden, not the alcoholism.
Version 2.0 also includes an automated alcohol dispenser that ties in to your man cave chair.
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@Polygeekery said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
@mikehurley said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
I would hope gardening is your chance to get away from tech for a bit.
That's what the gun range is for.
Seriously though, I actually like tech. As I have said many times before, I made my own job so if I am unhappy with it I have no one to blame but myself. I made that job in tech. I have a whole electronics bench with enough meters and power supplies and components and soldering/desoldering/hot air rework stations and bench meters that are capable of measuring down to the millionth of a volt and all sorts of other shit. That is one of my hobbies.
Besides, Midwest summers can kind of suck and there are more times than I can count where I think to myself:
"I really should water the garden, but it is Africa hot outside. Maybe after I have a beer?"
Then the only thing that gets liquid is me. So this would help solve that problem. The problem of not watering the garden, not the alcoholism.
I think it'd be cool to get something along those lines set up, even if just more traditional watering lines. However then I hear about all the pain in the ass that people have with garden and lawn watering systems and figure the overall effort is less to just not water the lawn and manually water the garden. (I grew up in an area with really sandy soil so I mentally expect a brown lawn in late summer)
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I don't have anything that fancy, I just have my opensprinkler setup with a rain and wind sensor so I don't water during "bad" times. Last summer I determined that my rain sensor was reporting ludicriously high, so it didn't water my yard at all for 5 days that it ostensibly "rained". (It was over upper 90's every day, near zero humidity and it got cloudy and windy in the afternoon as a massive storm cell blew over my house and dumped on some other poor shmuck further east).
So now I just use the wind sensor and I manually delay the automatic system if it actually rains.
I need to really sit down with rain gauges and map my water volume down across the yard/garden. I know of at least one spot that is not getting enough water, there are probably more.
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@Polygeekery said
Besides, Midwest summers can kind of suck and there are more times than I can count where I think to myself:
"I really should water the garden, but it is Africa hot outside. Maybe after I have a beer?"
This is why I like living near the coast, I love the ocean.
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@Tsaukpaetra Tech Tips?
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@Polygeekery said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
if the internet goes out everything still works except voice control of devices
Oh yeah, I should elaborate. That is super fucking annoying. Like, really annoying.
As I said, everything still works. But if the internet is out and you forget and say:
"Okay Google....."
Every device that can hear you starts saying, slightly out of step with each other:
"You don't appear to be connected to the internet, check your modem and router"
Or something similar. If you're in the kitchen close to the main hallway and Lil'Dude's door is open to his room you will have 6-7 of them chanting it at you +/-0.5s from unison. It's actually a bit creepy.
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@Zerosquare said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
@Tsaukpaetra Tech Tips?
Just the tip.
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@loopback0 said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
Just started watching the video, but there is a project that uses two ESP8266s, a gate contactor (to see if the door is open or closed) and an ultrasonic distance sensor (to see if a car is in the space) that makes the smartest garage door opener I've ever seen.
Basically, there's an ESP8266 in your car connected to switched power. So when you start your car it fires up and if the door is shut will open it. When you leave wifi range it triggers the door to shut. When you get close enough to connect to your home wifi it triggers it to open. When you shut off your car it closes the garage door. With the ESP8266 on the garage door opener it can tell HomeAssistant whether a car is in the space or not and the gate contactor tells it if the door is open or shut.
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@loopback0 annnnnnnnd two minutes after I posted that he mentions HomeAssistant.
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: Alexa, 12 minute timer
: 12 minute timer starting now
: Would you like to hear a short story while you wait?Who the fuck wants Alexa to read them a story?!
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@loopback0 said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
: Alexa, 12 minute timer
: 12 minute timer starting now
: Would you like to hear a short story while you wait?Who the fuck wants Alexa to read them a story?!
If I want a twelve minute timer, I'll poke the screen of my phone, or even of my watch. Alexa == not at my house. (Nor the Goggle and Aplle equivalents, frankly. I put up (i.e. mostly ignore) the presence of Siri on my phone and Cortana on my PCs, but no smart home devices here. Just NO.
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@loopback0 said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
: Alexa, 12 minute timer
: 12 minute timer starting now
: Would you like to hear a short story while you wait?Who the fuck wants Alexa to read them a story?!
Since you're asking, let's go with
The Gug
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@loopback0 said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
Who the fuck wants Alexa to read them a story?!
Not me. That sounds horrible. But the kids enjoy asking Google Assistant to tell them jokes.
The timer function like you do is super helpful. Cooking timers, piano practice for the kids timers, homework timers, "You have X minutes to clean your room or I'm 'cleaning' it all into a trash can" timers, etc.
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@Polygeekery said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
The timer function like you do is super helpful.
I mostly use them for cooking timers but yeah.
The only irritation is that Alexa only lets you set each timer on one device. It can be a device other than the one you're talking to, but it can't be multiple, so "Alexa, 12 minute timer on Office Echo" form the kitchen works but "Alexa, 12 minute timer everywhere" doesn't.
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@Polygeekery said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
"You have X minutes to clean your room or I'm 'cleaning' it all into a trash can"
The trouble with that, though, is that even as a kid I knew that was a threat that was never going to be followed-through on.
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I wouldn't be so sure. This is @Polygeekery we're talking about.
https://i.imgur.com/sTpClS1.gif
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@HardwareGeek said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
@Polygeekery said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
"You have X minutes to clean your room or I'm 'cleaning' it all into a trash can"
The trouble with that, though, is that even as a kid I knew that was a threat that was never going to be followed-through on.
My dad did follow through on it. He doesn't believe in empty threats.
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@HardwareGeek said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
The trouble with that, though, is that even as a kid I knew that was a threat that was never going to be followed-through on.
The trouble with your assumption is that I actually have followed through on it. It only took once and now when the oldest dicks around instead of cleaning his room I set a timer and tell him that if it goes off and his toys aren't put up that I will clean it for him and then shit gets done.
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@Carnage said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
My dad did follow through on it. He doesn't believe in empty threats.
Neither do I. I like to be known as a person of my word, even if you don't like those words.
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@Polygeekery said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
@Carnage said in Mostly not internet, and mostly just as shit as you make it:
My dad did follow through on it. He doesn't believe in empty threats.
Neither do I. I like to be known as a person of my word, even if you don't like those words.
Yeah, me too
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@HardwareGeek even as a kid I knew that was a threat that was never going to be followed-through on
Solution: follow through on it. Just once should be enough.