I hate printers, with a passion
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"[Brand] printing support, how may I help you?"
"Help! There's a multi-tentacled monster coming out of my printer!"
"I see. Sir, are you using third-party ink cartridges?"
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@Zerosquare said in I hate printers, with a passion:
"[Brand] printing support, how may I help you?"
"Help! There's a multi-tentacled monster coming out of my printer!"
"I see. Sir, are you using third-party ink cartridges?""We warned you that the cartridge needs to be cleaned occasionally."
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@Gurth said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@Zerosquare said in I hate printers, with a passion:
Fortunately, we're safe. There's no way a printer would print something like this without jamming.
3D printer?
Nah, wait, probably not either.
Have you seen failed 3d-prints?
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@Tsaukpaetra That’s why I said it probably couldn’t print this without jamming either.
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@Gurth said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@Tsaukpaetra That’s why I said it probably couldn’t print this without jamming either.
Well, most 3d prints don't "jam" exactly...
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@Tsaukpaetra said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@Gurth said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@Tsaukpaetra That’s why I said it probably couldn’t print this without jamming either.
Well, most 3d prints don't "jam" exactly...
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Status: Someone was complaining that a certain piece of software essentially reported the equivalent of "something happened :(".
Yeah. Fuck you. Of all the 63 different possible failures, you can't tell me anything more than "Oops, it didn't work. sowwy"?
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HP takes the position that its offers can be retracted at any time. For example, HP's “Free Ink for Life” subscription plan offered printer owners 15 pages per month as a means of tempting users to try out its ink subscription plan and of picking up some extra revenue in those months when these customers exceeded their 15-page limit.
But Free Ink for Life customers got a nasty shock at the end of last month: HP had unilaterally canceled their "free ink for life" plan and replaced it with "a $0.99/month for all eternity or your printer stops working" plan.
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@Zerosquare I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.
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The perfect gift for readers of this thread:
https://youtu.be/R6kYEOjqP3U?t=186On second thoughts, it may work more reliably than the thing it's supposed to look like...
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@Zerosquare said in I hate printers, with a passion:
On second thoughts, it may work more reliably than the thing it's supposed to look like...
And this little thing jammed "just" twice, think of how often the real thing would do that...
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@Zerosquare said in I hate printers, with a passion:
I don't know if they still use this design today, but this is what I have from probably 10 years ago... still has some value left... in case I ever want to go back and use it again
Too bad. They were no longer usable in March 2016, and could no longer be redeemed after June of that year.
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@TwelveBaud When I visited DC in 2015 they had green plastic cards. I guess the kind in the video was still valid under a grace period or something?
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@hungrier SmarTrip cards, and when they were introduced in 1999 they were envisioned as working side by side for decades yet. Then in very late 2015 a budget crunch happened, and people thought "y'know, what if we didn't have to maintain the belts, motors, magnetic pickup heads, optical scanners, etc, etc, in all these faregates and farecard machines?"
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@loopback0 I've been asked if I own a printer. For the longest time I didn't. Now I do. It turns plastic filament into plastic spaghetti hairballs (and occasionally more sensible objects).
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@loopback0 said in I hate printers, with a passion:
Comments like this make me wonder if this person ever lived before 21st century.
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@Gąska said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@loopback0 said in I hate printers, with a passion:
Comments like this make me wonder if this person ever lived before 21st century.
but can you really call that living? can you?
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@Gribnit more than now. #lockdown
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@Gąska said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@Gribnit more than now. #lockdown
I have this thing where in the presence of people, I just really, really want to harm them. This is better.
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@Gribnit don't worry, I still want to murder everyone all the same, this part didn't change.
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@Gąska at least there's spam callers. eventually, I may be able to get one of them to to kill someone, even if it's just themselves.
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@Gąska said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@loopback0 said in I hate printers, with a passion:
Comments like this make me wonder if this person ever lived before 21st century.
I just got asked today, April 22 of the 21st year of the 21st century, to help out with a problem in which apparently a recent Windows update broke my client's dot matrix printers.
(I declined, in case anyone was wondering. We'll see if it sticks.)
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@heterodox said in I hate printers, with a passion:
I just got asked today, April 22 of the 21st year of the 21st century, to help out with a problem in which apparently a recent Windows update broke my client's dot matrix printers.
(I declined, in case anyone was wondering. We'll see if it sticks.)
Ooooh, one of the remaining cases of mandatory carbon copy that is actually a literal carbon copy and therefore needs an impact printer?
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@uschwarz-0 I think I’d seriously try to track down a daisy wheel printer for that, just on the off chance it might make someone think I used a typewriter.
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@Gurth said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@uschwarz-0 I think I’d seriously try to track down a daisy wheel printer for that, just on the off chance it might make someone think I used a typewriter.
Selectric, lad. Then you did used a typewriter.
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@Gurth said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@uschwarz-0 I think I’d seriously try to track down a daisy wheel printer for that, just on the off chance it might make someone think I used a typewriter.
Pair it with that, for the full retro experience:
As a bonus, it will make all the hipsters around you jealous.
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@Zerosquare said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@Gurth said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@uschwarz-0 I think I’d seriously try to track down a daisy wheel printer for that, just on the off chance it might make someone think I used a typewriter.
Pair it with that, for the full retro experience:
As a bonus, it will make all the hipsters around you jealous.
what pressure line steam does it want?
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@Gąska said in I hate printers, with a passion:
Comments like this make me wonder if this person ever lived before 21st century.
Since it's now 2021, possibly not.
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@dcon I'm just 26 but I can already feel my .
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@Gąska said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@dcon I'm just 26 but I can already feel my .
You are on your way to developing a rich and hearty bitterness, in the fullness of time. Now, you're a dickhead. But in a decade or so, you'll be a right bastard.
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@Gribnit centrist* bastard.
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@Gąska said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@Gribnit centrist* bastard.
fair observation, but my official designation remains sociopathic left anarchist.
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@Zerosquare said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@Gurth said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@uschwarz-0 I think I’d seriously try to track down a daisy wheel printer for that, just on the off chance it might make someone think I used a typewriter.
Pair it with that, for the full retro experience:
As a bonus, it will make all the hipsters around you jealous.
I'm disappointed it doesn't mechanically peck at an on-screen-keyboard.
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This printer is so slow!!!
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@Tsaukpaetra My grandfather (and several other members of my family) worked in the printing trade, and when he was fairly young, possibly as an apprentice, he chopped the very tip of one of his fingers off in that type of press. You wouldn't have noticed it, except for the claw-like nail on that finger.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in I hate printers, with a passion:
This printer is so slow!!!
It can feel pain though. Wouldn't you like that feature now?
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It all started with a malfunctioning printer.
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@topspin said in I hate printers, with a passion:
Oh yes, of course it can't fucking print a black and white document anymore because the fucking CYAN is empty. (It's always cyan, isn't it?!)
Those are rookie numbers!
While using his Pixma MG6320 printer from Canon, the plaintiff was surprised to discover that the "all-in-one" machine would refuse to scan or fax documents if the printer ran out of ink.
As ink is not necessary to perform scans or faxes, the argument is that the printer features should continue to work even if there is no ink in the device.
"Plaintiff Leacraft would not have purchased the device or would not have paid as much for it had he known that he would have to maintain ink in the device in order to scan documents," reads the complaint for the class action lawsuit.
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@boomzilla said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@topspin said in I hate printers, with a passion:
Oh yes, of course it can't fucking print a black and white document anymore because the fucking CYAN is empty. (It's always cyan, isn't it?!)
Those are rookie numbers!
While using his Pixma MG6320 printer from Canon, the plaintiff was surprised to discover that the "all-in-one" machine would refuse to scan or fax documents if the printer ran out of ink.
As ink is not necessary to perform scans or faxes, the argument is that the printer features should continue to work even if there is no ink in the device.
"Plaintiff Leacraft would not have purchased the device or would not have paid as much for it had he known that he would have to maintain ink in the device in order to scan documents," reads the complaint for the class action lawsuit.
Something something market something.
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@LaoC said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@boomzilla said in I hate printers, with a passion:
@topspin said in I hate printers, with a passion:
Oh yes, of course it can't fucking print a black and white document anymore because the fucking CYAN is empty. (It's always cyan, isn't it?!)
Those are rookie numbers!
While using his Pixma MG6320 printer from Canon, the plaintiff was surprised to discover that the "all-in-one" machine would refuse to scan or fax documents if the printer ran out of ink.
As ink is not necessary to perform scans or faxes, the argument is that the printer features should continue to work even if there is no ink in the device.
"Plaintiff Leacraft would not have purchased the device or would not have paid as much for it had he known that he would have to maintain ink in the device in order to scan documents," reads the complaint for the class action lawsuit.
Something something market something.
Something something?