The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread
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One December, an avid hunter shot the biggest buck of his life. He was mighty proud of his feat, and he decided to give his buck to the girl for whom he had a great crush. He gave it to her on Christmas Day, boasting about the size, the points, etc., but he was most excited about how much the deer weighed.
Well, he was known to boast, so on Boxing Day, the lady took the deer to an official scale to see if it really weighed as much as her suitor claimed it did.
She thought she was being coy about it, but the hunter found out. He was crushed by the lack of trust she showed, doubting his integrity. He tried to forget it, but all year long it bothered him.
A year passed, and the next December he saw the lady again. She noticed he didn't offer her anything, and seemed rather short in their conversations. She asked him what was wrong, and despite his efforts at self control, he blurted out through tears,
"Last Christmas, I gave you my hart. The very next day, you gave it a weigh."
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Back when my life wasn't going well I checked myself into the Hokey Pokey Clinic.
And I turned myself around.
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Q: What do you call someone who tells dad jokes without actually being a father?
A: A faux pa.
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This is a true story. A friend of mine told me a while back about how she'd just had a bit of a brush with death. Her husband had bought some new breakfast cereal, and neither of them had been aware that she was allergic to one of the ingredients until they were eating and her throat started closing up! Thankfully, they had an EpiPen on hand because they did know about some other allergies of hers, and between that and a quick rush to the hospital they were able to get the situation under control, but it was pretty scary.
Being a musically-inclined person, though, her husband did what many artistic types tend to do when faced with an emotionally impactful situation: rather than turning to introspection, he used it as inspiration, writing a darkly humorous song about the plight of a man who had been prosecuted for doing exactly what he had done, except in this version the wife had died from the allergic reaction and he got arrested for murdering her.
The title? "I'm a cereal killer."
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@Mason_Wheeler goddamn, I'd love to hear the song.
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A man was hospitalized with six plastic horses in his rectum. Doctors describe his condition as stable.
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
The title? "I'm a cereal killer."
Random thought: in the same way there is alphabet soup, there could be cereal numbers.
"Are you sure we can afford a new house?"
"Yes", taking one last spoon of breakfast cereal, "I've crunched some numbers".
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@Zecc said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
there could be cereal numbers.
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@loopback0 said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Zecc said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
there could be cereal numbers.
An English product name on the house branch of a French supermarket?
Are you sure that's not shopped?
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@PleegWat said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
An English product name on the house branch of a French supermarket?
Are you sure that's not shopped?I'm not sure whether it's shopped or not matters (as the joke doesn't change) but it's hardly the only image of them.
https://tipsyandcarbs.wordpress.com/2016/08/17/49-carrefour-kids-choco-numbers/
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@loopback0
Not available in it appears.
Oh and the online carrefour webshop is a pain in the backside to navigate on mobile.
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@Luhmann said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
the online carrefour webshop is a pain in the backside to navigate on mobile.
Quelle surprise!
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@HardwareGeek said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Luhmann said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
the online carrefour webshop is a pain in the backside to navigate on mobile.
Quelle surprise!
Le
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@loopback0 said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@HardwareGeek said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Luhmann said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
the online carrefour webshop is a pain in the backside to navigate on mobile.
Quelle surprise!
Le
Picachequeaux
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@Applied-Mediocrity said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
Picachequeaux
Choisissezunechaussure.
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@Zecc said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Applied-Mediocrity said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
Picachequeaux
Choisissezunechaussure.
bless you?
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@Zecc said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Applied-Mediocrity said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
Picachequeaux
Choisissezunechaussure.
Looks like my recent attempts at finaggling Microsoft's TTS engine to say things correctly.
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For those who aren't sure but think they got the pun, here's your confirmation.
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Have you ever tried blindfolded archery? You don't know what you're missing!
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@Zecc said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@El_Heffe
For those who aren't sure but think they got the pun, here's your confirmation.So, you're concerned that this is the part you have to explain:
Not this:
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@El_Heffe Who the shit is that dude?
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@Tsaukpaetra TIL
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This post is deleted!
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@El_Heffe said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
So, you're concerned that this is the part you have to explain:
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
Your FB posts had lots of likes, but they don't live long.
There's still time to save the latest 7 though
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