Internet of shit
-
@loopback0 said in Internet of shit:
a car with keyless start
In the early years after the "Wende" (fall of GDR), it was fun to talk with tech-savvy colleagues from east germany. Because of their broken econonmy, they had to find solutions themselves quite often.
So, one of them told me that the ignition lock of his car was broken, he could no more use the starter. No replacement part available. Since he understood electrics, he installed a bell push for starting his car. But for ignition and steering lock, the key stayed still in use.
See: GDR had such fancy modern things already in the 1980ies. Communism promotes progress!
-
-
@TimeBandit Not a great look for VW et al..
But at the same time, under what circumstances would they be expected to provide that service even if the customer hasn't subscribed to it? Seems like it's mainly useful for emergencies ... so expecting VW to provide the service in emergencies regardless also seems strange.
One could also ask themselves whether VW should charge for that service in the first place, if it's sort-of always active anyway. Clearly it was possible to enable remotely...
(FWIW- article mentions there being procedures for emergency request as well. Doesn't say why those didn't work out, though.)
-
@cvi said in Internet of shit:
(FWIW- article mentions there being procedures for emergency request as well. Doesn't say why those didn't work out, though.)
The statement by VW talks about a "breach of process". Sounds like someone will be out of a job due to his power trip and an inability to apply the existing rules for these cases.
-
The Internet of Piss (contains small pieces of shit, too)
A fully automated smart toilet has been developed to measure specific gravity, pH, bilirubin, leukocytes, nitrite, protein, urobilinogen, glucose, erythrocytes, and ketones in urine using a ten-parameter urinalysis strip (Fig. 3a)77. In addition to a test strip, three cameras are used for computer-aided video analysis of the urine stream and image assessment of stool using a machine-learning algorithm. A passive IR motion sensor is installed in order to automatically start data acquisition at the beginning of urination. The setup also possesses a fingerprint module to identify the user and record personal data in a cloud-based health portal wirelessly.
-
@LaoC Sewage sampling is a good way to track presence of certain diseases among the populace.
-
-
@PleegWat said in Internet of shit:
@LaoC Sewage sampling is a good way to track presence of certain diseases among the populace.
Of course. The common method to do this is a bit different though from installing triple machine-learning CrapperCams hooked up to the IoS to associate fingerprintsÂą with turd scores in some "health portal".
Âą Wonder why they forewent standing on the shitters of giants by going with the sphincterprint.
-
Each user of the toilet is identified through their fingerprint and the distinctive features of their anoderm, and the data are securely stored and analysed in an encrypted cloud server.
That's secure, for sure!
Btw, why hasn't apple not yet come up with anoID? Point your iPhone to your back, and apple recognizes it's you!
-
@BernieTheBernie And then Samsung will also do that, but if you put a screen protector on the phone, it will unlock when it sees any backside at all.
-
@Gurth said in Internet of shit:
@BernieTheBernie And then Samsung will also do that, but if you put a screen protector on the phone, it will unlock when it sees any backside at all.
You forgot that it will refuse to unlock once you get a butt lift.
-
@dcon said in Internet of shit:
You forgot that it will refuse to unlock once you get a butt lift.
What a backfire.
-
Whoopsie daisy. Hope those phones are still getting security updates.
-
@izzion <looks> Yup, my phone is affected.
Off to settings, check for updates.
What do you know - there's a 680MB download.
-
The list of affected devices includes (but is not limited to):
- ...
- Connected vehicles
Why am I not surprised?
-
@HardwareGeek said in Internet of shit:
The list of affected devices includes (but is not limited to):
- ...
- Connected vehicles
Why am I not surprised?
Because you have an IQ higher than your shoe size?
-
@izzion said in Internet of shit:
@HardwareGeek said in Internet of shit:
The list of affected devices includes (but is not limited to):
- ...
- Connected vehicles
Why am I not surprised?
Because you have an IQ higher than your shoe size?
Even in European shoe sizing.
-
@HardwareGeek said in Internet of shit:
@izzion said in Internet of shit:
@HardwareGeek said in Internet of shit:
The list of affected devices includes (but is not limited to):
- ...
- Connected vehicles
Why am I not surprised?
Because you have an IQ higher than your shoe size?
Even in European shoe sizing.
Europe: where shoe sizes are bigger than room temperatures.
-
@HardwareGeek said in Internet of shit:
@izzion said in Internet of shit:
@HardwareGeek said in Internet of shit:
The list of affected devices includes (but is not limited to):
- ...
- Connected vehicles
Why am I not surprised?
Because you have an IQ higher than your shoe size?
Even in European shoe sizing.
Perhaps even if you add up the numbers from both of your shoes.
-
@HardwareGeek said in Internet of shit:
@izzion said in Internet of shit:
@HardwareGeek said in Internet of shit:
The list of affected devices includes (but is not limited to):
- ...
- Connected vehicles
Why am I not surprised?
Because you have an IQ higher than your shoe size?
Even in European shoe sizing.
I'm convinced this was done to negate the “Act your age not your shoe size“ gag.
-
@DogsB I am older than my shoe size.
-
@HardwareGeek said in Internet of shit:
I am older than my shoe size.
Perhaps even if you add up the numbers from both of your shoes?
Filed under: reuse,
reduce,recycle your jokes.
-
@HardwareGeek said in Internet of shit:
@DogsB I am older than my shoe size.
If it would be swedish military shoe size, that would be impressive! They are measured by length in mm.
-
@Atazhaia Length of foot or length of shoe? Because that’s the thing I find oddest about normal shoe sizes: it measures the shoe rather than the foot it’s supposed to fit around. (In second place is the use of 2/3 of a centimetre as the size increment — why not just measure the foot length in centimetres directly?)
-
@Gurth Length of foot iirc. Uniforms uses length in cm/weight in kg (185/80 for example). Underwear and shirts goes on a numerical scale (5-6 for a regular-sized male) and socks have a size by color system: red, green, brown etc indicated by the color of the rim.
-
@Atazhaia said in Internet of shit:
Uniforms uses length in cm/weight in kg (185/80 for example).
I just looked in the Swedish camouflage coat I own, and indeed, it says 190 cm and 75 kg. Next to those is a drawing of a person with “185–195” next to it, which I take to mean the size indicated is for people within 5 cm of it, but underneath that same drawing is “90–100” — not weight, I would say, but then what is it? Chest size?
-
@Gurth said in Internet of shit:
@Atazhaia said in Internet of shit:
Uniforms uses length in cm/weight in kg (185/80 for example).
I just looked in the Swedish camouflage coat I own, and indeed, it says 190 cm and 75 kg. Next to those is a drawing of a person with “185–195” next to it, which I take to mean the size indicated is for people within 5 cm of it, but underneath that same drawing is “90–100” — not weight, I would say, but then what is it? Chest size?
Annual income range to look appropriate in it
-
-
Open garage doors anywhere in the world by exploiting this “smart” device
Not mine! It's broken! It won't even respond to the controls that are supposed to open it. (It's also a dumb, not-internet-connected opener.)
-
@HardwareGeek said in Internet of shit:
Open garage doors anywhere in the world by exploiting this “smart” device
Not mine! It's broken! It won't even respond to the controls that are supposed to open it. (It's also a dumb, not-internet-connected opener.)
My garage door opener is really dumb. His name is @Benjamin-Hall. And while I may be online a lot, I don't think I count here.
-
@Benjamin-Hall said in Internet of shit:
@HardwareGeek said in Internet of shit:
Open garage doors anywhere in the world by exploiting this “smart” device
Not mine! It's broken! It won't even respond to the controls that are supposed to open it. (It's also a dumb, not-internet-connected opener.)
My garage door opener is really dumb. His name is @Benjamin-Hall. And while I may be online a lot, I don't think I count here.
I don't have a garage door.
-
I have three garages and all of them are useless for the purpose of garaging.
-
Whenever I open the garage, something about Communism comes out.
-
@topspin You still drive a Trabant?
-
@Benjamin-Hall said in Internet of shit:
My garage door opener is really dumb. His name is @Benjamin-Hall.
Don't insult him like that, he's not that dumb
-
@Benjamin-Hall I bet your garage door got stuck, during the storm.
-
Another dumb product hit the wall and close shop
-
@PleegWat said in Internet of shit:
@Benjamin-Hall said in Internet of shit:
@HardwareGeek said in Internet of shit:
Open garage doors anywhere in the world by exploiting this “smart” device
Not mine! It's broken! It won't even respond to the controls that are supposed to open it. (It's also a dumb, not-internet-connected opener.)
My garage door opener is really dumb. His name is @Benjamin-Hall. And while I may be online a lot, I don't think I count here.
I don't have a garage door.
My "garage" used to be a carport. Then it got converted into the family room. Then the has-been front door was blocked off, in favor of the new double-wide-single door that was put in where the carport was.
To this day, the delivery services direct the meat puppets to drop off packages and the like to said blocked-off door, or event stupider locations.
This might be considered reasonable if you knew the neighborhood's general floorplans from when the houses were built in the 60s in cookie-cutter fashion and assumed nobody would ever possibly modify their homes....
I forgot where I was going with this, but yeah. Internet of Shit!
-
-
Well, apparently people have a very small amount of sense!
Well, most of them.
-
More cloud bullshit. There is absolutely no reason why authentication needs a server connection.
-
@topspin said in Internet of shit:
More cloud bullshit. There is absolutely no reason why authentication needs a server connection.
It's misleading. Authentication (i.e. unlocking) is done through the app and doesn't need an internet connection. You can also use a PIN code directly on the bike itself thus not needing any external tool.
What could happen, in case the servers go down, is that you cannot transfer the bike or add it to another app on another mobile.
Though that is also already a solved problem as VanMoof recently extended the lifetime of the certificates so if you download the cert now, you're pretty much completely independent of their services.
edit: I dare say that a competitor being able to easily provide a tool to manage your bike shows that it's a not a complete
-
@topspin said in Internet of shit:
More cloud bullshit. There is absolutely no reason why authentication needs a server connection.
As I understand, when they go bankrupt the flow of proprietary parts to repair pretty much everything will also dry up. And those proprietary parts are quite prone to breaking. So the bike is well on its way to be a very impractical paperweight anyway.
-
@topspin said in Internet of shit:
could leave ebike owners unable to even unlock their bikes
Well, also my ebike comes with some äpp lock. I never activated it, because I fear it could prevent me from using my bike.
-
@Rhywden said in Internet of shit:
edit: I dare say that a competitor being able to easily provide a tool to manage your bike shows that it's a not a complete
What about the competitor switching your bike off remotely? And asking for a few shitcoins to unlock it?
-
@BernieTheBernie said in Internet of shit:
@Rhywden said in Internet of shit:
edit: I dare say that a competitor being able to easily provide a tool to manage your bike shows that it's a not a complete
What about the competitor switching your bike off remotely? And asking for a few shitcoins to unlock it?
a) Cowboy would not risk their whole company for that
b) The only time the app needs to go online is to grab the token from the server. Which you need to initiate yourself. As you can retrieve this token through other means, you can thus reduce any such risk further.The bike itself never goes online. It's relying on a public key stored in firmware to validate the token you send it. As a result, save for a Bluetooth connection, the whole thing can be (and has been) done completely offline.
-
@PleegWat said in Internet of shit:
when they go bankrupt
They did last night, or so the radio told me this morning.
-
@Gurth Luckily, I don't have a VanMoof. I have a Gazelle.
-
@PleegWat
Analog bikes for the win!
-
@Luhmann said in Internet of shit:
@PleegWat
Analog bikes for the win!And sweat like a peasant? Nah.