The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread
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Okay, how about the unkillable alarm dream?
My clock goes off, "Beep...beep...beep..." I drag out, decide to hit snooze.
Nothing happens. "Beep...beep...beep..." Hit snooze again. Press it several times. "Beep...beep...beep..."
Turn the alarm off. "Beep...beep...beep..."
Stupid clock. Unplug it. "Beep...beep...beep..." Take the battery out. "Beep...beep...beep..."
Realize there are other clocks there-half a dozen--and I've obviously been dealing with the wrong one. Try to turn off alarms on each one. "Beep...beep...beep..." Try to tell which one is beeping, but no matter where I hold the clocks, the beeping is equally loud.
Realize it must be a clock in another room. Wander from room-to-room, but no matter where I go, the beeping is equally loud.
Finally wake up for real and realize the above was a dream. Deal with real clock.
This dream was extremely frustrating. I had it often enough that, more recently, I remember partway through that I must be dreaming (remember within the dream) and force myself awake.
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@CoyneTheDup said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
Deal with real clock.
I've been optimized in that area so well that I can disable mine without exiting sleep. And mine involves solving math problems, sorting, memory recall of real-time events, and others.
@CoyneTheDup said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
I remember partway through that I must be dreaming (remember within the dream) and force myself awake.
My system's implemented that as an 1-hour timeout trigger. Not sure why an hour, but I haven't been able to reduce that any for over a year, so
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
I've been optimized in that area so well that I can disable mine without exiting sleep.
I've got two digital alarm clocks, and for a while I switched which one I'd put up every couple years or so. Recently however, I've set up an old lamp on a time switch, which is very effective in getting me to be halfway awake by the time the real alarm goes off.
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@CoyneTheDup said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
My clock goes off, "Beep...beep...beep..."
Ugh....I use a clock radio because I really hate those sorts of alarms.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@CoyneTheDup said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
My clock goes off, "Beep...beep...beep..."
Ugh....I use a clock radio because I really hate those sorts of alarms.
I use a sonic bomb alarm clock because music i don't like gets filtered out entirely and music i do like just gets incorporated into my dream and provides a nice soundtrack for it. So instead, I have half the house shaking in time to
BWEEOO BWEEOO BWEEOO BWEEOO
If only I could hook up the off button to a math problem like @Tsaukpaetra's and make it even more impossible to sleep through (because dammit I still can sleep through that fairly often)
Oh, I also have Sense, which is supposed to play its alarm at the exact time when I'm least asleep, so it wakes me up every time, but apparently my lightest sleep phase in the morning is still too deep for the cuddly gentle-wakefulness alarms they have.
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@Fox Maybe you should go to bed earlier?
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@PleegWat Sleep is for the weak
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@Fox said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
If only I could hook up the off button to a math problem like @Tsaukpaetra's and make it even more impossible to sleep through (because dammit I still can sleep through that fairly often)
AlarmDroid,
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@Tsaukpaetra yeah I know of several apps that do it, but I don't know how to replace that handy dandy "Alarm off" button on the front of my alarm with an Android.
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@Fox said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@Tsaukpaetra yeah I know of several apps that do it, but I don't know how to replace that handy dandy "Alarm off" button on the front of my alarm with an Android.
To the IoT!
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@Tsaukpaetra I hope to one day have that level of practical knowledge on electrical engineering that I could do that. While I'm at it, I'd hook up an RNG to the alarm tone setting so it constantly changes frequency at random time intervals, which would make it harder for my brain to filter it out from my conscious awareness and keep me from waking up to it.
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@Fox said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@Tsaukpaetra I hope to one day have that level of practical knowledge on electrical engineering that I could do that. While I'm at it, I'd hook up an RNG to the alarm tone setting so it constantly changes frequency at random time intervals, which would make it harder for my brain to filter it out from my conscious awareness and keep me from waking up to it.
Strangely enough, I could probably do all of the above, with time.
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@Fox actually it would probably be easier at that point to just dismantle the alarm clock and hook up the speaker and bed shaker to an Arduino with a bluetooth connection to a smartphobe running something similar to AlarmDroid.
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@Fox said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@Fox actually it would probably be easier at that point to just dismantle the alarm clock and hook up the speaker and bed shaker to an Arduino with a bluetooth connection to a smartphobe running something similar to AlarmDroid.
May I suggest:
The High Voltage Ejector Bed – 01:57
— colinfurze
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@HardwareGeek if I could rig up a safe way of catching me that would both prevent injury and prevent me from being able to be comfortable enough to go back to sleep immediately upon landing (because I would be willing to bet that if it's just like a padded area across the room, I'll fall asleep on the pads), I would absolutely do that.
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@Fox Inflatable cushion, which deflates about 5 seconds after the ejector bed went off?
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@PleegWat That could work.
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@PleegWat said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@Fox Inflatable cushion, which deflates about 5 seconds after the ejector bed went off?
An airbag?
You know, the more we discuss this, the more it sounds like a bona fide dream...
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@PleegWat said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@Fox Inflatable cushion, which deflates about 5 seconds after the ejector bed went off?
Inflatable cushion, Mk. II — underneath the cushion, and exposed when it deflates, is a bed of nails.
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@Fox Okay so I just need to get a shitton of hardware (little help here, @HardwareGeek?) And some test Foxes to
launch across my room for my amusementcalibrate the launch and catching mechanisms.
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@HardwareGeek A bit much, but I like the concept.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@PleegWat said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@Fox Inflatable cushion, which deflates about 5 seconds after the ejector bed went off?
An airbag?
You know, the more we discuss this, the more it sounds like a bona fide dream...
Shit, you're right, I'll also need some way of telling whether or not I'm in a ridiculous dream or if I've really been rudely awakened by the antics of past-me.
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@Fox Where does one acquire spinning tops that you can take with you in dreams?
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@Fox My son's suggestion: A tank of water — you wouldn't be hurt by the landing, but you wouldn't be able to go back to sleep (or at least it would be a really bad idea). My addition to his suggestion: Ice water — if that doesn't shock you awake, you're not asleep; you're dead.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@Fox My son's suggestion: A tank of water — you wouldn't be hurt by the landing, but you wouldn't be able to go back to sleep (or at least it would be a really bad idea). My addition to his suggestion: Ice water — if that doesn't shock you awake, you're not asleep; you're dead.
Your son is a genius.
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@Fox said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@Fox Where does one acquire spinning tops that you can take with you in dreams?
I think that is the point of the totems, in theory they shouldn't exist outside your dreams, so only you should know the attributes of it. Kinda like a private key.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
Ice water — if that doesn't shock you awake, you're not asleep; you're dead.
they were damn impressed. And maybe spooked.
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@Fox said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@HardwareGeek said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@Fox My son's suggestion: A tank of water — you wouldn't be hurt by the landing, but you wouldn't be able to go back to sleep (or at least it would be a really bad idea). My addition to his suggestion: Ice water — if that doesn't shock you awake, you're not asleep; you're dead.
Your son is a genius.
Oh my god it even fits my dream house design. I one day want a house with an indoor pool accessible from every room. I could set it up to launch me into the area of the pool that's in my bedroom.
(No, I do not have an unhealthy obsession with swimming, why do you ask?)
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@Fox What happens when a sleeping person falls into a pool and it just so happens he doesn't wake up?
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@PleegWat said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@Fox What happens when a sleeping person falls into a pool and it just so happens he doesn't wake up?
Is this a trick question or something
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@PleegWat said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@Fox What happens when a sleeping person falls into a pool and it just so happens he doesn't wake up?
Stated above: they dead.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@PleegWat said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@Fox What happens when a sleeping person falls into a pool and it just so happens he doesn't wake up?
Stated above: they dead.
Oh I bet it is a trick question and the sleeping person is Aquaman
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@Fox said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
Aquaman
Handsome Guy?
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/megaman/images/1/1e/Aquamanbq.png/revision/latest?cb=20091112070001
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
I've been optimized in that area so well that I can disable mine without exiting sleep. And mine involves solving math problems, sorting, memory recall of real-time events, and others.
I solved that with a cabin bed and a radio alarm on the other side of the room. I had half an hour of music before the alarm, at which point I had to get out of bed, climb down a ladder and turn it off. At that point, even if I wasn't awake I was at least out of bed and not willing to climb back up the ladder.
These days, I have a baby whose care is my responsibility after she wakes up around 5am
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Dream: I was meticulously planning out the rest of the year everything I was going to be doing at work, to the hour. Because I had no corporate Holiday Calendar, I had to guess which days were automatic PTO. Bad things happened after the system came back saying my time card was incorrect, culminating in a foosball tournament (which I lost, but it was pretty close!).
I woke up panicked enough that I went and sent this text to my boss:I just had a horrible nightmare involving bad time cards and Citrix... It's Holiday today, right?
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So, dreams. Dreams are weird.
So I'm in some sort of a rock club that's located on the outskirts of my hometown. Fancy place, kind of luxurious, and I'm just leaving the stage area after a gig and heading to the lounge. I pass Lemmy drinking whiskey in the doorway and head to the table where Kerry King sits with a few people and another guy in a cowboy hat who was supposed to be a famous rocker as well, but I'm sure my mind just made him up.
Suddenly I'm back at my family's home, packing my bags and getting ready to leave. I remember being surprised that I'm taking a large suitcase, since I was sure I came there with a small one.
Suddenly I'm no longer leaving and instead I'm alone in my room, except my room now has a flat-screen TV and a home cinema system for some reason. I have a laptop hooked to the TV and I'm browsing the Internet, listening to a stream where Adrian Belew is doing a radio-show style AMA and calling in to ask a few questions. Don't remember what I've asked - something about an old album - but I'm getting annoyed that the stream quality is crap and my English comprehension isn't very good when I can't see someone or hear them clearly.
Suddenly I'm back at that club, still going to the table with my suitcase in hand, which promptly gets lost to a plot hole. We sit around, drink beer and discuss that the club has no future since the location sucks. Someone suggests moving it to the town center, but I just say that no one listens to rock anymore in the entire area. Someone else mentions that the club has lasers and the law says there can't be any lasers in such populated areas due to people getting hit in the eye by them and losing eyesight. I say it's bullshit since the windows have opaque black screens on them.
Suddenly the disembodied point of view shifts to the outside of the club, showing me the image of a green laser beam going through a hole in the screen and into the distance.
Then I'm in the usual dream limbo where your mind pays no attention to the surroundings so it doesn't even bother to render them, reading a newspaper. There's a front page article in English about the dangers of laser pointers, in which a local woman relates her story of getting permanent damage in one eye after her son accidentally shone a laser pointer at her.
Then I wake up, thinking - as usual - what the fuck?
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This may have just been a simulation continuation from one of the stories I'm reading, but the last setting had me involved with MLP Changelings of variety 17.b3. The drone (being piloted by the Queen) had thrown us a stone of Parley and claimed that that was the only proof we needed to know (Queen 5) was dead. True to form the stone didn't carry the parleying Queen's signature and everyone was shocked and dismayed, but I took the stone after the meeting was over and began doing experiments on it. Since it contained the other Queen's signature I decided to see if it could be used to locate the supposedly-dead Queen's corpse (we had had...issues with the first-mentioned Queen doing necromancy) and surprisingly it worked, kinda. The scene ended while I was presenting my findings to my Queens.
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@Fox said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@HardwareGeek if I could rig up a safe way of catching me that would both prevent injury and prevent me from being able to be comfortable enough to go back to sleep immediately upon landing (because I would be willing to bet that if it's just like a padded area across the room, I'll fall asleep on the pads), I would absolutely do that.
I almost wonder if you could do an Inception-like thing where your bed drops like 5 feet at a predefined time
That would do the trick...
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I'll shortcut the many incarnations of the following dream I have repeatedly in this one post.
I get a call from the university.
Turns out, I didn't complete a requisite class.
I have to complete the class to restore my degree.
Various impossible scenarios occur that prevent me from doing this
. Anywhere from getting a flat tire, to natural disaster, to incomprehension of the professor, to full on inexplicable paralysis.In one of these, I became suddenly lucid, and it freaked the hell out of me.
I began to notice the fact that various things were being replaced with other things, laptop with a tablet, my pants go missing while it suddenly starts raining. Then I'm suddenly in a thrift shop with a friend and my mind reverse engineers memories for how I got there. I realize it's a dream, and for some reason I can't get out.
I find myself on the ceiling of the room, clawing at the ceiling, hoping I tear a rip in reality to escape the dream.
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2nd type of dream I have commonly.
Having knowledge that I need to get up, I dream that I've woken up, only to realize after a few actions that I'm still asleep. In something out of Inception, I'm waking up over and over to realize I'm still sleeping.
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@xaade said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
I tear a rip in reality to escape the dream.
Ah. It's much easier to tear a rip in reality in low-density space (i.e. midair) than solid objects though.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
Citrix
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@Jaloopa That's crazy, I don't even need an alarm clock to wake up
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
MLP Changelings of variety 17.b3.
I have no idea what this means, but I am quite certain I don't want to know.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@xaade said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
I tear a rip in reality to escape the dream.
Ah. It's much easier to tear a rip in reality in low-density space (i.e. midair) than solid objects though.
Let's just said that the dream was so vivid and I was so extremely lucid, that I had partially convinced myself that I had died and was trapped in some otherworldly place.
It seems absolutely silly from a conscious point of view, but that's how subconsciousness works.
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@xaade said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
It seems absolutely silly from a conscious point of view, but that's how subconsciousness works.
QFT
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
MLP Changelings of variety 17.b3.
I have no idea what this means, but I am quite certain I don't want to know.
Well, biologically speaking they're not exactly ponies. Due to genetic engineering however, they do have fur. This variation is actually characterized by that, as well as a semi-decentralized mental network capable of remote execution (but not primarily used for that) and the capability to generate their own food from more traditional foods.
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Dream notes (transcribed from audio clip):
Out camping with rpg buddies. Myself she's partner came up later than everyone so. And for post. Traveled on foot, found gone small birds eggs. Looked like very small ostrich of emu.
Other friends found is. Time for bed. While trailer was spelling unstable. Analyzed. All tires flat. Somehow made trailer behave like on a bubble. Stabilized by cartoon seesaw routine. Managed to seesaw trailer back into bitch. Air pump insufficient to refill tires.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
@HardwareGeek said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
I don't want to know.
Well, [Explanation snipped]
Reading comprehension failure.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Don't-Interpret-My-Dreams Thread:
Dream notes (transcribed from audio clip):
TIL @Tsaukpaetra's dreams are generated by a Markov chain.