Satanic rites of online socialism



  • Let me share my recent (yesterday) story of trying to send a simple form using government services. Here, in Poland, there's an institution called ZUS which takes your money away for your retirement fund, which won't be enough for you to buy food, but they can build themselves a new giant office building every few months or so. If you start your own business you have to register yourself as a payer (+ register any employees) using a from called ZUS ZUA (which is pronounced exactly as "ZUS of evil", which reinforces their allegiance to Satan). And here the fun begins. The whole process is very govenmently:

    1. Everywhere you are told you have to print it and manually give it to a desk clerk, which will yell at you for interrupting her facebook session.
    2. Some googling reveals there's an online ZUS portal which can be used to send various documents. But they won't tell you that, of course. No easy mode!
    3. When you register and log in, you'll find there's no way to send ZUA.
    4. Except somebody found there's a checkbox in the bowels of that beast which enabled an additional tab with additional forms.
    5. Naturally, you have to relog after using that checkbox.
    6. After A LOT of digging you finally find the form to fill. Yay!
    7. But opening it launches a giant Flash, because nobody invented forms in HTML apparently.
    8. Some required fields are left blank and read-only, but at the end it passes their validation, so who cares.
    9. After filling the form, you have to save it.
    10. After saving the form, you have to confirm it.
    11. After confirming the form, you have to mark it as ready.
    12. After marking the form ready, you have to submit it.
    13. And then you can wait forever looking at a "please wait" text.
    14. Some googling reveals the document must be signed using one of two methods in order to be submitted. Of course, by default, the selected method is the one almost no one uses and doesn't work.
    15. Naturally, you have to relog after changing the signing method.
    16. Submitting now launches a confirmation window for the second method, called ePUAP. That's the moment we need to sidetrack to a side-wtf. ePUAP is another shitty government system for signing various documents in other shitty government systems. To log in or do any kind of action, you have to enter a SMS code. The problem is - the code almost never gets sent. You can wait hours and nothing. Fortunately (and sadly at the same time) the authors knew how shitty the system was, so after you wait enough time, your log in/action gets automatically confirmed anyway. Let's analyze that for a minute. If someone steals your login/password, all he has to do it wait to bypass the SMS auth. At the same time, for you to do anything, you have to waste the exact same amount of time waiting. That's how pressing a button might take a few hours. Some serious thought went into this, I'm sure.
    17. After a few hours you can finally sign and send you form.
    18. Then you read that portal cost 18 million PLN, or $4.6 mil, and go on a rampage.

  • Impossible Mission Players - A



  • @Tsaukpaetra said in Satanic rites of online socialism:

    @NeighborhoodButcher said in Satanic rites of online socialism:

    go on a rampage.

    0_1464904063091_upload-0e3f570d-7efa-4762-884f-6ba2182b4328 ???

    That's exactly how it happened.



  • I had a summons to the tax office on Friday, where I was berated for using the wrong form.

    Apparently, there's one form for self-employed people with NIPs (tax IDs) and another for people with PESELs (personal IDs). I've always used the NIP form but it seems that some clerk assigned me, unasked, a PESEL 11 years ago and never informed me about it.

    The first time I'd ever seen it was the letter summoning me on Friday. It was explained to me that it was still my fault for not hunting down somebody who could tell me if anyone had secretly assigned me a PESEL. It was also my fault that the website refused to accept my NIP. And lastly. it was my fault that when I went to the tax office in April to explain that the website wouldn't accept my NIP, that they told me to use the printed NIP form.

    However, I was in and out on Friday in about 15 minutes, and I could park right outside. By Polish standards that's lightspeed!


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @coldandtired said in Satanic rites of online socialism:

    However, I was in and out on Friday in about 15 minutes, and I could park right outside

    :wtf:



  • @dkf Best brothel ever!



  • @coldandtired said in Satanic rites of online socialism:

    some clerk assigned me, unasked, a PESEL 11 years ago

    ...are you 11 years old?



  • @coldandtired said in Satanic rites of online socialism:

    I had a summons to the tax office on Friday, where I was berated for using the wrong form.

    Apparently, there's one form for self-employed people with NIPs (tax IDs) and another for people with PESELs (personal IDs). I've always used the NIP form but it seems that some clerk assigned me, unasked, a PESEL 11 years ago and never informed me about it.

    The first time I'd ever seen it was the letter summoning me on Friday. It was explained to me that it was still my fault for not hunting down somebody who could tell me if anyone had secretly assigned me a PESEL. It was also my fault that the website refused to accept my NIP. And lastly. it was my fault that when I went to the tax office in April to explain that the website wouldn't accept my NIP, that they told me to use the printed NIP form.

    However, I was in and out on Friday in about 15 minutes, and I could park right outside. By Polish standards that's lightspeed!

    PESEL is given at birth, riiiight?



  • @NeighborhoodButcher @Maciejasjmj I have 2 hypotheses about that:

    1. @coldandtired meant the clerk secretly decided he needed to fill one form instead of the other
    2. @coldandtired is an immigrant who got a PESEL when he or she started working in Poland (because you need a way to deal with people who weren't born in Poland)

  • Dupa

    @Khudzlin said in Satanic rites of online socialism:

    1. @coldandtired is an immigrant who got a PESEL when he or she started working in Poland (because you need a way to deal with people who weren't born in Poland)

    I can confirm that @coldandtired has already confessed that he is actually cold and tired because he's moved to Poland from a more civilized country.



  • @Khudzlin said in Satanic rites of online socialism:

    @NeighborhoodButcher @Maciejasjmj I have 2 hypotheses about that:

    1. @coldandtired meant the clerk secretly decided he needed to fill one form instead of the other
    2. @coldandtired is an immigrant who got a PESEL when he or she started working in Poland (because you need a way to deal with people who weren't born in Poland)
    1. He's the youngest TDWTF member.

    Bonus WTF: In order to reply to posts here, I need to refresh the page a random number of times. I'm starting to miss Disco.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @NeighborhoodButcher said in Satanic rites of online socialism:

    I'm starting to miss Disco.

    Please see a specialist. You might be suffering from Post-Discourse Stress Disorder.



  • @NeighborhoodButcher said in Satanic rites of online socialism:

    I'm starting to miss Disco.

    Regretting that all those records were ever burned, eh?

    Disco Demolition Night at Comiskey Park in Chicago 1979 – 09:52
    — commercialnewsandfun



  • @kt_ said in Satanic rites of online socialism:

    I can confirm that @coldandtired has already confessed that he is actually cold and tired because he's moved to Poland from a more civilized country.

    Ah, yeah, Poland does that to you.



  • @kt_ Indeed :)

    However, I didn't come here in 2005, or start working then (both much earlier). I definitely never applied for anything important that year.

    Annoyingly, since then I've had much 'fun' without one. My car documents, for example, have my PESEL as all 9s, and my LuxMed stuff has all 0s.

    I'm tempted to claim I lost my ID and see what they send me. ;)



  • @Khudzlin Nearly. As far as I can tell, something happened in 2005 (and I genuinely can't think of what) that caused someone to enter my details in some computer, generate my PESEL, and then dump it in a drawer.


  • Dupa

    @coldandtired said in Satanic rites of online socialism:

    @Khudzlin Nearly. As far as I can tell, something happened in 2005 (and I genuinely can't think of what) that caused someone to enter my details in some computer, generate my PESEL, and then dump it in a drawer

    Don't underestimate the power, knowledge and decisions of Pani Krysia z ZUS-u. ;)


  • Dupa

    @coldandtired, you're using LuxMed? Are they any good? My workplace offers either using them or getting a MultiSport card, and since I read only bad things about LuxMed I chose MultiSport. Did I make the right decision?



  • @kt_ I had Medicover before and I preferred them. LuxMed is just much bigger and busier (in Warsaw at least) so it's harder to get an appointment at a good time, and I seem to need to go to the city centre for everything.

    My packet contains many more options than Medicover, though.

    I have no experience with MultiSport so I can't really say.



  • @NeighborhoodButcher said in Satanic rites of online socialism:

    Bonus WTF: In order to reply to posts here, I need to refresh the page a random number of times. I'm starting to miss Disco.

    @NeighborhoodButcher For me, it's usually once. It might be 0 sometimes, but I don't think it's ever been 2.



  • And one of those government sites just ran out of disk space.:violin:



  • @NeighborhoodButcher said in Satanic rites of online socialism:

    To log in or do any kind of action, you have to enter a SMS code. The problem is - the code almost never gets sent. You can wait hours and nothing

    Lorne's Wager: If the site you're dealing with sends SMS, then you can safely bet they're using some sort of janky, free "SMS Send Portal", which was the first google result for "how to send SMS from [language site was written in]". The site owners never paid for additional sends. So they will ALWAYS hit the rate limit of 10 a month. Or their account has already been banned for breach of ToS for commercial use. You will never get that SMS. You can safely bet any amount of money on this.



  • @Lorne-Kates or they're sending emails to number@every email-to-sms gateway they can think of, and the huge number of emails bogs down the system so much it crashes and/or many of the messages just disappear into the ether.


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