:baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit
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@Gribnit said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@HardwareGeek said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@acrow said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
A roll of duct tape
Because every family has that uncooperative child.
Isn't that what the chopsticks are for?
You can also use them to get a set of keys from between terrace decking boards. And overall to pick small objects from places you can't get your hands into. And they can be used as splints. And for self-defense.
And the roll of tape can be used for emergency-patching shirts, sails, toys and your car. A roll of iron wire would also be useful, but that tends to be dangerous for toddlers. In more ways than one.
But don't let children play with the duct tape either. A child taping their neck around, or over their mouth, and then suffocating, is unfortunately common.
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To show off:
My 3rd grader was invited to a part of the schools advanced program. They don't want to call it Gifted & Talented because they do not want to label kids and it will be different. Whatever .
Even with the covid disruption (her school handled it far better than the public schools-but it was still disruptive) she still is advanced.
She still likes school at this point and is likely the (or one of the) teacher's pet(s).
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(4yo): Daaaaad! Poo is finished!
: <Comes to wash the bottom>
: Done. <Starts to wash hands>
: Drying?
: Uhh... Learn to dry yourself. You're old enough.
: <Takes a wad of toilet paper. Messily. Gives a couple of pats with it. Throws away, missing the toilet bowl but landing the paper wad in the trash can.>
: Are you sure that you're completely dry? You don't want to get your underpants wet.
: ...Yeah?
: Under your balls too? You didn't seem to do any drying there.
: ?
: Balls. ...Testes. ...Testicles?
: ???
: Okay. Quick anatomy lesson. <Drops pants. Points out the parts.> This is a dick. And these are the balls. Get it? <Raises pants.>
: Oh. Okay. <Goes on to try if he's dry under the balls.>
I've got to buy an anatomy book one of these days.
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@acrow 4yo? My 1.5yo happily points and names his dick and balls on every diaper change. Apparently it's hilarious.
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@homoBalkanus Part of he reason may be that we speak 3 different languages in the family. Turns out that kids stop asking what something is the moment they have a name for it. But that name may be in Finnish, English or Chinese. For all I know, he might have got the point if I'd said "testicles" in Chinese.
Just one problem with that: I don't speak all that much Chinese.
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@acrow heh. Join the club 😁
Best part is when they ignore you in three languages
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We are now moved into the new house. One of the boys decided to leave us a housewarming gift before we left last night.
Overflowed toilet in the boys area of the house destroyed the ceiling downstairs. Tonight is our first official night in the new house and I already need to patch some drywall.
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@acrow said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@homoBalkanus Part of he reason may be that we speak 3 different languages in the family. Turns out that kids stop asking what something is the moment they have a name for it. But that name may be in Finnish, English or Chinese. For all I know, he might have got the point if I'd said "testicles" in Chinese.
Just one problem with that: I don't speak all that much Chinese.
I've made exclamations that had both Spanish and English.
I know one was:Con who?
My husband and I are Titi/Tio to my niece and and same for her parents.
But for most of my family it is Auntie and Uncle.
She has a Grandma and Pop-pop and a Nana and Grandpa. So nothing specifically Spanish.
But the bigger kids know their Great-Grandmother as Abuela, I think we went to her 90th birthday. I don't remember what they called their mother or father. Father had died a few decades ago (BK - Before Karla) and Mother died around ~15 years ago.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
We are now moved into the new house. One of the boys decided to leave us a housewarming gift before we left last night.
Overflowed toilet in the boys area of the house destroyed the ceiling downstairs. Tonight is our first official night in the new house and I already need to patch some drywall.
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Will be doing this again soon. My son just missed passing his permit test by one question. We couldn't get him to study at all before taking, now he's a bit motivated, so he should be on the road in a couple of weeks.
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@boomzilla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
he should be on the road in a couple of weeks.
But I assume he's probably not going to be making any cross-country road trips for a while, so I don't need to panic.
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@HardwareGeek no, you should be sufficiently far away.
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Strong disagree, and I don't even live in Florida.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
Strong disagree, and I don't even live in Florida.
How come my first thought was "Happy birthday, have a goldfish, its food comes out of your allowance".
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@BernieTheBernie said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery see Gary Larson:
So, please think of the poor alligator! Do not torture it!
What if the alternative is torturing 1/5 of a cat, though, H'MM?
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@Zerosquare said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
When our first was in preschool I was talking to his teacher who had just been promoted from assisting the primary teacher in his previous room to being the primary teacher of her own room (that's the best I can explain it and I still feel like it doesn't make sense) and I asked her how it was going, how she liked the promotion, etc. I will never forget her response:
"It's good, sometimes challenging, but good. A few years ago I never thought I would ever be a preschool teacher but I really love my kids even though some of the things that they do....."
"What do you mean?"
"Like....for instance, I never thought in my entire life that I would ever say the words 'Please stop licking the concrete'. I never thought those words would ever come out of my mouth."She was awesome. One of my favorites of all their preschool teachers. We were very friendly with each other and when I did drop off or pick up she and I would vent to each other. I would vent about the director of that ECE program who was a bitchy little pain in the ass. She would vent to me with things like:
"How's your day been?"
"I really do love these kids but some days....let's just say that this job is the best birth control I could have ever asked for."
"You can say these sorts of things to me, you know I won't get offended but please don't ever say that to any of the other parents or they will do their best to get you fired."
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
It was overall a very net positive for him though. In the past ~5 months his sense of humor has grown by leaps and bounds and something about that experience made something click for him. He is getting to be hilarious where before most of his attempted jokes were a swing and a miss.
Wife and kids were out of town this week. My wife and I both watch a lot of true crime documentary stuff and she was watching one about a husband and wife that had went on a hunting trip and the wife shot her husband because she thought that he was a bear. I can't remember the name of the case but I do remember that I was unsure that it could have been murder. It seemed pretty accidental to me.
Interesting case.So while they were out of town she watched that story and our oldest asked her about it and what was going on so she briefly explains and then jokes:
"I could probably get away with that. Your dad is very bear like. He's grumpy, he growls, he's hairy sometimes."
"I don't think so mom. Bears don't drink whisky and they only hibernate during the winter."His humor is getting pretty sharp. She said that the way he said it reminded her of my quick thinking, matter of fact, dry humor responses.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
I never thought in my entire life that I would ever say the words
Hey, we could create a thread for things you'd never thought you'd say before working in IT. Such as "no, you shouldn't keep your important documents in the Trash".
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@Zerosquare said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
Hey, we could create a thread for things you'd never thought you'd say before working in IT. Such as "no, you shouldn't keep your important documents in the Trash".
"The scanner isn't malfunctioning and not scanning things. You are scanning blank pages."
Something I think but never say:
"Do you motherfuckers think this is just magic or something?"
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
"Do you motherfuckers think this is just magic or something?"
Arthur C. Clarke waves as he flies by in a magically powered spacecraft.
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"Any sufficient clueless user is incapable of distinguishing between technology and magic."
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
a husband and wife that had went on a hunting trip and the wife shot her husband because
she thought that he was a bearof his bad grammar.
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@HardwareGeek what did his grandmother have to do with anything?
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@HardwareGeek said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
a husband and wife that had went on a hunting trip and the wife shot her husband because
she thought that he was a bearof his bad grammar.What about the one in which the grammar Nazi could suck on deez nutz?
Asking for a friend.
Everyone is their own best friend.
I'm asking for myself and you are the grammar Nazi.
It took all of my own self will to not litter this post with crimes against the English language. Every word with a homonym was an opportunity to annoy you that I past over.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
Everyone is their own best friend.
Except when they're their own worst enemy.
an opportunity to annoy you that I past over.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
Strong disagree, and I don't even live in Florida.
Fuck, goldfish are boring. I actually won a few on a game at the state fair only because someone else paid for it and insisted. Those goldfish were overfed the first couple days...then died of starvation at some point.
You have to get it as a little baby alligator. I did hold someone's baby alligator, the scariest part was putting back. Must be careful how you pull your hand out.
That's why NYC has alligators in subway tunnels. Alligator get's too big to handle, they often let it go.
Isn't that a problem in Florida and pythons? Snakes get too big to handle, owner releases them and they can survive as an invasive species.
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@Zerosquare said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
"Any sufficient clueless user is incapable of distinguishing between technology and magic."
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@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
Isn't that a problem in Florida and pythons? Snakes get too big to handle, owner releases them and they can survive as an invasive species.
Yes, they are a massive problem there. When they get big enough they even eat alligators.
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@boomzilla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
Isn't that a problem in Florida and pythons? Snakes get too big to handle, owner releases them and they can survive as an invasive species.
Yes, they are a massive problem there. When they get big enough they even eat alligators.
Sounds more like an early-stage solution.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
It took all of my own self will to not litter this post with crimes against the English language. Every word with a homonym was an opportunity to annoy you that I past over.
I don’t get it; you’re just describing normal American English
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Reminds you of garage mechanics is
Also in one go I propose an alternative version:
Proud wife of a great husband that is sometimes an asshole and that's ok
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@Luhmann Alternative version for @Polygeekery's parents:
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@HardwareGeek
We seem to be quite focused on one particular member here and that's OK
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@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
Fuck, goldfish are boring.
Only while they remain uneaten. When being fed to any of a cat, a larger fish, several smaller fish, sundry arthropoda, or a sufficiently dared youth, they're hilarious.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
She said that the way he said it reminded her of my quick thinking, matter of fact, dry humor responses.
Yeah, 3's a fun age.
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@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
Fuck, goldfish are boring
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Color theory 101: blueberries + apricots = green
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@HardwareGeek said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
There's a career to be had in knocking down structures other civil engineers built.
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A more serious post, which may be jarring. But since this is the parenting thread, this'll hopefully be read and heeded by parents.
I ran across a news article recounting a legal fight to keep a boy attached to a ventilator. It mentioned his reason for being in the ventilator in the first place as "an online challenge". So I dug for more information on what the hell the kids are making each other chug now.
Turns out, the challenge was very literally for the participant to choke themself unconscious.
The trend is known as 'the blackout challenge' (also the 'choking challenge' or the 'pass-out challenge') and is one of the latest in a series of dangerous trends surfacing on TikTok. The challenge has already resulted in the deaths of eight-year-old Lalani Erika Renee Walton from Texas (opens in new tab) and nine-year-old Arriani Jaileen Arroyo from Wisconsin. Both the girls were apparently avid TikTok users and liked to post videos on the app.
Although it's not known for certain if Archie was attempting the challenge, his mother believes this to be the case, after she found him with a ligature (a piece of knotted or tied fabric) round his head.
These kids literally choked themselves dead with a cord.
Please talk to your kids about the importance of never obstructing their breathing. Or inhaling anything. Or chugging on a dare.
...Or better yet, talk them out of watching stupid online videos entirely.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
A real picture would involve padding his pants defensively.
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