:baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit
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So today I ran across a really good deal on a Melissa and Doug 3.5' tall stuffed penguin. Our 8 year old really loves penguins. But I didn't give it to him tonight, I wanted my wife to weigh in on it, whether it should be a reward for something like good grades this term or something. We decided to just give it to him. Various ideas were presented and then it hit me.
Every morning he wakes up at ~6:30am and tromps down the hallway to the kitchen to get something to drink and a snack. In the morning when he turns the corner he is going to come face to face with the last thing he expected.....a 3.5' tall penguin....in our kitchen, just standing there.
I am absolutely kicking myself for not having some motion activated sound device to rig up, but I've no fucking idea what sounds penguins make. I think a Halloween screech owl sound would work though.
If I have to clean piss off the floor in the morning it will all be worth it.
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@Polygeekery
I expect to see a YouTube link in the morning
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@izzion it was underwhelming. With kids they have two modes of operation: no reaction and overreaction.
He wakes up later, staggers to the kitchen all bleary eyed and comes back with a snack. But it's a snack from another part of the kitchen. Nothing. Shit.
So I ask him to get me a banana muffin which means he will have to go right past the penguin. He comes back and hands it to me. Nothing. No reaction. The wife and I look at each other.
"You didn't notice anything in the kitchen?"
-deadpan and sleepy- "You mean the big penguin? It's kind of freaking me out."
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@Polygeekery I feel uneasy just reading this
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
I am on ADHD meds
You mean you operated all these power tools that could cut your finger out and had ADHD? I don't even drive a car, and I'm scared of saws
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@sockpuppet7 said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
I am on ADHD meds
You mean you operated all these power tools that could cut your finger out and had ADHD? I don't even drive a car, and I'm scared of saws
Yeah, ADHD and power tools donโt mix, just ask my husband how often Iโve freaked out seeing him try to use them.
That manโs squirrels have squirrels.
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@M_Adams said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
That manโs squirrels have squirrels.
Is there a meaning to squirrel that isn't the animal squirrel? (I don't english)
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@Benjamin-Hall got it, so I just it
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Thanks, you guys were faster than me at "the Google". I wasn't exactly sure how to explain to @sockpuppet7.
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@M_Adams
I'm just lucky no squirrels ran by before I could tab back over and paste
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@izzion that was part of my problem too! I do have some squirrels myself... along with: "what the fuck was I googling for in the first place?".
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@M_Adams this happens a lot:
- coworker ask me something simple
- I say I need 5min to look it over
- something distracts me
- one hour later, coworker ask me about that info and I forgot about it
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@sockpuppet7 said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
I am on ADHD meds
You mean you operated all these power tools that could cut your finger out and had ADHD? I don't even drive a car, and I'm scared of saws
Everyone thinks they are normal. I only realized I had ADHD when we went through getting my son diagnosed. Part of it is this questionnaire, "Does your child (do, have trouble with, etc) X?". I was going through it and thought to myself:
So I went and talked to my doctor. Prior to that I had no idea.
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@M_Adams said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@izzion that was part of my problem too! I do have some squirrels myself... along with: "what the fuck was I googling for in the first place?".
I have "Why do I have 853 tabs open across four monitors? is wrong with me? Oh, hey, there's that Wikipedia tab about (obscure subject)" -occupied for four hours, adds 27 more tabs-
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@sockpuppet7 said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@M_Adams this happens a lot:
- coworker ask me something simple
- I say I need 5min to look it over
- something distracts me
- one hour later, coworker ask me about that info and I forgot about it
Next time just look at them puzzled and ask, "Do you work here?"
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
I've no fucking idea what sounds penguins make.
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This post is deleted!
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One good thing about Covid: it's given me the chance to sleep-train my 3-year-old again. She usually took an hour to fall asleep in the crib, and after we transmogrified her crib into a bed (almost a year ago!), she (eventually) figured out that she could get out and play. Our band-aid solution was to just rock her to sleep every night, which took 15-90 minutes.
But we always knew what the real solution was: toddler-sleep-training, where you keep going into the room and putting the kid back in bed. But my wife was always wiped out in the evening, and I usually arrived home from work after bedtime, so we couldn't do the sleep training.
Enter COVID-19: I'm not commuting anymore, and I can do the sleep training. So for the past month-plus, I've been putting my daughter back in bed about every 5 minutes at night, until she stops climbing out. (It's mostly me doing it, because 1. I have energy in the evening and my wife doesn't, and 2. I'm callous enough to put my daughter to bed even when she wants snuggles.) And it's working! I only have to put her back once or twice an evening before she just stays in bed. And it only takes her another ~20 min or so to fall asleep.
Bonus! She's (mostly) not waking up in the middle of the night, either! And she can put herself back to sleep most of the time when she does wake! This is much better. Thanks, COVID-19!
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@boomzilla I got in the habit of answering my nephew's questions with "because purple." It really irritated him, which was fun.
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@Benjamin-Hall parenting teaches sadism.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
It's fun to hear couples' stories about who screwed up first and taught their kid a new word.
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@mikehurley said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
It's fun to hear couples' stories about who screwed up first and taught their kid a new word.
Hmph, my daughter has been listening to Nicki Minaj since she was 2.
Though we did try to change the words in Starships a bit:
We are higher than a needle beetle
I still want to be able to call someone a needle beetle with a straight face. (It's the straight face I have problems with.)
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@mikehurley said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
It's fun to hear couples' stories about who screwed up first and taught their kid a new word.
I fell off my bicycle the other week, and while tending to my road rash my wife warned me it would sting like a bastard. Which the 4 year old obviously repeated verbatim. The laughter made me completely forget the pain for a little while
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@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@mikehurley said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
It's fun to hear couples' stories about who screwed up first and taught their kid a new word.
Hmph, my daughter has been listening to Nicki Minaj since she was 2.
Though we did try to change the words in Starships a bit:
We are higher than a needle beetle
I still want to be able to call someone a needle beetle with a straight face. (It's the straight face I have problems with.)
I'm so out of touch with whatever is popular culture these days that I don't even know you are talking about.
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@mikehurley said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
It's fun to hear couples' stories about who screwed up first and taught their kid a new word.
I believe I've told this before but for us it was obviously me. I won't bore you with the minute details but I got annoyed in traffic and yelled:
From the backseat my son with his squeaky little ~3 year old voice belts out:
"Fuck 'em!" and throws his hands up in the air.
It was hard not to laugh.
A few years after that we are in Florida and he wants to wade out in to the ocean. I take him out in to the waves which are mostly calm with the occasional large one that would break right where he would be up to his shoulders. One comes along and surprises him, knocks him down under the water and I reach down and grab him by the arm and pull him up. As soon as his head is back above water he belts out a perfect:
"Goddamnit!"
I was almost proud. It was a perfectly in context usage of vulgarity.
"Son, I'm not going to say anything about your cursing because in this case it was warranted. But do not make a habit out of it."
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@mikehurley said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
It's fun to hear couples' stories about who screwed up first and taught their kid a new word.
Hmph, my daughter has been listening to Nicki Minaj since she was 2.
Though we did try to change the words in Starships a bit:
We are higher than a needle beetle
I still want to be able to call someone a needle beetle with a straight face. (It's the straight face I have problems with.)
I'm so out of touch with whatever is popular culture these days that I don't even know you are talking about.
It isn't new. She also liked all the colors in the video.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@mikehurley said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
It's fun to hear couples' stories about who screwed up first and taught their kid a new word.
I believe I've told this before but for us it was obviously me. I won't bore you with the minute details but I got annoyed in traffic and yelled:
From the backseat my son with his squeaky little ~3 year old voice belts out:
"Fuck 'em!" and throws his hands up in the air.
It was hard not to laugh.
A few years after that we are in Florida and he wants to wade out in to the ocean. I take him out in to the waves which are mostly calm with the occasional large one that would break right where he would be up to his shoulders. One comes along and surprises him, knocks him down under the water and I reach down and grab him by the arm and pull him up. As soon as his head is back above water he belts out a perfect:
"Goddamnit!"
I was almost proud. It was a perfectly in context usage of vulgarity.
"Son, I'm not going to say anything about your cursing because in this case it was warranted. But do not make a habit out of it."
For us, it was all of us.
She understands what curses are. She's asked permission whispering in my ear if she could say one when she was telling a story about one of her friends at school who was cursing.
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@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
She also liked
all the colorsthe boobs in the video.
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@Luhmann said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
She also liked
all the colorsthe boobs in the video.Probably. Even though I pumped she was always sticking her hands down my shirt.
Also, the other day she was measuring how tall she was compared to me. With a giggle she says:
I'm almost up to your boobs!
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My 6 yo daughter can use chopsticks and I cannot. She's even moved beyond the rubber band assist.
She uses them to eat Cheetos/Doritos so she doesn't get cheese powder on her fingers (learned from a life hack video).
Just now, she asks for a snack, my husband gives her a bag. She pulls out her chopsticks:
I know that struggle. That struggle is real.
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Also, while under lockdown, my older daughter taught her to play Minecraft. She is addicted. She has like 100 cats because she is breeding them. She shows me how she mates them.
I yell to my husband:
She's making kitty porn!
He nearly choked on his breakfast.
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@Karla
Cause of death: quarantine induced humour
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@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
Also, while under lockdown, my older daughter taught her to play Minecraft. She is addicted. She has like 100 cats because she is breeding them. She shows me how she mates them.
I yell to my husband:
She's making kitty porn!
He nearly choked on his breakfast.
Sounds like my kids breeding animals in Ark.
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@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
Hmph, my daughter has been listening to Nicki Minaj since she was 2.
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@loopback0 said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
Hmph, my daughter has been listening to Nicki Minaj since she was 2.
That was fucking adorable.
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Currently trying to get work done while my four year old is wanting to play a matching card game.
One problem, the cards that he chose are from one of those "Would you rather?" variants. So literally none of the cards in the deck match. I cannot get him to understand this and I think that he is doing it to annoy me.
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Our oldest was really fortunate to have a really superb teacher this year for second grade. It's a real shame that they are not having actual school for the rest of the year. His teacher is the really fun and goofy type of gay man who also has mild ADHD like our oldest, so he is very sympathetic and helpful and supportive of everything and has helped him out a lot.
So for the rest of the year he has teamed up with the other second grade teacher and they have been recording video lessons for the kids and have honestly made it all really fun. On the topic of:
really fun and goofy type of gay man
He has had a lot of fun with it. He starts out each day's recording with:
"Hi there! Welcome back to my channel."
And my son has more snark than is healthy for a child of his age.
"Ugh, I wish he would stop that. He doesn't have a channel. This isn't YouTube, and if it were no one would watch this unless they were required to like we are."
The best part is that I know his teacher well enough that I can be fairly sure that he starts it out that way just to annoy kids like mine and there is a fair chance that he does it specifically to annoy my kid.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
The best part is that I know his teacher well enough that I can be fairly sure that he starts it out that way just to annoy kids like mine and there is a fair chance that he does it specifically to annoy my kid.
Confirmed: