The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
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@lolwhat said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
It probably helped that I am a woman who doesn't want them.
Though, ding ding ding, I do not have them and I am older than most of you fuckers .
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@Karla said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@lolwhat said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
It probably helped that I am a woman who doesn't want them.
Though, ding ding ding, I do not have them and I am older than most of you fuckers .
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Wow @boomzilla, I was going to say the bad jokes topic is , but then realised that's where we already are.
We might need a thread for even worse jokes
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"Hi, is this the pre-ejaculation meeting?"
"Yes, but you'll have to wait, you came too early"
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the 90's summed up in one line:
90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99=945
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
the 90's summed up in one line:
90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99=9451/2(99-90+1)(90+99)
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PEMDAS, BEDMAS, BODMAS, BIDMAS or other?
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@lolwhat Meneer Van Dale Wacht Op Antwoord.
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A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he
noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby
cemetery.A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind
the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking
a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men
walking in single file.The Jewish man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the
Italian man walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a
bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian funeral like this.
Whose funeral is it?""My wife's."
''What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"
My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her and
killed her also.A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood and
silence passed between the two men.The Jewish man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?"
The Italian man replied, "Get in the line."
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"I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid, but I can stop any time I want"
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Too soon man! Too soon!
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Q: It digs tunnels underground and never has a headache
A: A paracetamole
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I've got loads of jokes about cash machines, I just can't think of any atm.
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@DoctorJones That reminds me of an old joke about a hot air balloon. Why? Well, I'd explain, but it would probably just go over your head.
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@DoctorJones That reminds me of an old joke about a hot air balloon. Why? Well, I'd explain, but it would probably just go over your head.
That joke's just a bag of hot air.
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
Ah, so that's how a cat scan works!
A guy brings his sick budgie to the vet. The vet inspects the budgie, and declares it dead. "Are you sure? I would like a second opinion please". The vet says ok. He goes out of the consultation room for a moment, and comes back in with a cat. He puts the cat next to the budgie. The cat sniffs the budgie for a bit, and shakes its head. The vet goes out again, and this time comes back in with a labrador. The labrador also sniffs the bird a bit, and also shakes its head after a bit. The vet declares that yes, the budgie really is dead. "That will be $450". "What? Just to tell me my budgie is dead?" "Well, it would have been $10, but what with the Cat Scan and the Lab Test..."
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@boomzilla Can confirm.
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A guy was addicted to masturbation. He then got addicted to sex. Is it fair to say his addiction got out of hand?
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What's the Belt of Orion?
A big waist of space.I give that joke three stars, personally.
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@pie_flavor Oh I just got it
A fence sieve
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@hungrier thanks, I hate it
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What do you call a table saw accident?
A hands-off situation.
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A country guy is visiting a big city with his wife and they somehow get separated. He goes to the police precinct to ask for help looking for his wife.
"Can you describe your wife?" asks the policeman.
"How do you mean?"
"Well, for example, my wife is blonde, tall and slim, huge tits, long legs. Now what about you?"
"Mine's short, fat, crooked legs, missing teeth. Hey, you know what? Let's look for yours instead!"
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Dick Van Dyke Venn
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/535580879385395213/621087421282517002/unknown.png
Erm, not sure if but the left one looks rather more like a wasp?
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@Rhywden said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/535580879385395213/621087421282517002/unknown.png
Erm, not sure if but the left one looks rather more like a wasp?
White, Anglo, Saxon, Protestant? Maybe?
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@Karla said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@Rhywden said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/535580879385395213/621087421282517002/unknown.png
Erm, not sure if but the left one looks rather more like a wasp?
White, Anglo, Saxon, Protestant? Maybe?
He's not white, he's yellow. So is that an asian bee? (yes, the Everything is Racist thread is )
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@Benjamin-Hall Are y'all looking at the same picture I am? 'Cause that bee/wasp/whatever is clearly (mostly) black. It has some yellow and/or white, but from that angle, at least, I see more black than anything else.
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@HardwareGeek said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@Benjamin-Hall Are y'all looking at the same picture I am? 'Cause that bee/wasp/whatever is clearly (mostly) black. It has some yellow and/or white, but from that angle, at least, I see more black than anything else.
I was going for the non-black portions (because bees are supposed to be yellow by stereotype). But yes. It's black and yellow. But not white. Which is the important part.
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@Rhywden said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/535580879385395213/621087421282517002/unknown.png
Erm, not sure if but the left one looks rather more like a wasp?
I didn't make the image.