WTFs dating hunters in Nebraska (because nobody cares about the Nashville Predators)



  • I hate this state.

    For reference, in my previous state of Missouri I could go to Wal-Mart, buy a deer tag (about $30 for an any deer tag, $14 for extra antlerless tags) and a small game tag (like $10), and be set. I could hunt anywhere in the state, public or private land, and take deer (one per tag), pheasant, quail, or rabbit.

    Nebraska's system is a huge charlie-fox of red tape fronted by an unnavigable WTF website written by drunk monkeys with broken keyboards and no requirements documents of any kind. It is easier (easier, not easy) to find stuff on the Nebraska Game and Parks site via Google than to browse the site like a normal, sane person. There are all kinds of lists of permits but no definition of what they're for or who needs them. Habitat Stamp and State Park Permits? Would be nice if maybe there was an easy-to-find definition of what that is because Missouri has no such thing. Permit expiration dates? Nope, we won't tell you, but you'll make assumptions based on the word "Annual" that is generally correct except for when it isn't and we screw you out of your money. What deer tags to get? Hahahahahaha good luck with that one!

    So, after beating my face into my desk and leaving behind a bloody pulp, I kind of have something figured out.

    I need an annual hunt permit, which doesn't really get me anything except the ability to buy additional permits (overly simplified for ranting purposes). $14 down.

    Then, if I want to hunt on public land, I need an Annual Habitat Stamp. Another $20.

    Then, if I want to hunt on public land, the Habitat Stamp somehow isn't enough. I also need a Park Permit which allows me into the state parks and conservation areas. $26. More on this in a bit.

    Then if I want to hunt deer, the deer permits are not statewide, they're for specific areas which of course are all odd-shaped and odd-sized and you need to cross-reference 238497887967 maps to figure out what you need! $30 per permit. If I intend to visit multiple conservation areas, I need a tag for each area! Even worse, if you are within a certain range of a river you also need a river permit! So if you only intend to take one deer but plan on visiting a few different areas, you might end up spending like $100+ in deer tags. (Guess I'm not going for deer this year because that's expensive and you'd need an attorney to sort out what permits you actually need.)

    Back to the Park Permit. This annual permit does not expire at the same time as all the other annual permits above. (And from what I can tell there is no way to know this until I bought them all, which I have.) The other permits expire December 31, 2014 as expected. The Park Permit, with absolutely no mention of expiration dates on the public website that I could find, expires November 19, 2014, which is prior to when I will be going out hunting!!!! I just wasted $26 on an annual permit that's good for two weeks and won't get used! Did I mention that I was not informed of this until after the transaction was completed and I received my PDF permit?!?!

    I suspect the entire system was written by illiterate law-school flunkies whose only hunting experience is that they once played Big Buck Hunter 2007 for 50¢ at the bar.

    I was going to hunt here this year because Missouri non-resident deer permits are like $100, but that still would have been cheaper! Plus in Missouri I know lots of landowners so I don't have to put up with Drunk Gangsta City-Boy Bob from Kansas City who comes out to the country, dresses like a thug with the saggy pants and retarded sideways grip on a Glock, scares away all the legitimate game with his 4-wheelers (also illegal on public land), and then ignores the eleventy-billion "No Trespassing Signs" and crosses the fence into private property and shoots some farmer's prize bull because he doesn't know what a deer looks like and had too much Natty Lite in his system to care.



  • sigh Obligatory Discourse. I made a few edits to the above but they don't show. They do show up if I try to edit the post, but not in the saved one.



  • @mott555 said:

    So, after beating my face into my desk and leaving behind a bloody pulp, I kind of have something figured out.

    Why not just call them? On the telephone?

    @mott555 said:

    I suspect the entire system was written by illiterate law-school flunkies whose only hunting experience is that they once played Big Buck Hunter 2007 for 50¢ at the bar.

    Right; so why are you using it instead of the previous telephone-based "system"? (Which probably consists of a helpful employee answering a telephone and talking to you and maybe asking what you need and possibly even giving advice on how to get it easiest.)



  • Huh. I figured Nebraska's hunting permits would just be printed on the back of their birth certificates.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    Why not just call them? On the telephone?

    I just sat through the state's required Hunter Education course a couple weeks ago and got told how easy and great Nebraska's online system is. If they think this method is easy, I don't even want to know about the alternatives.

    I'm also including the required permits and all the laws and regulations in my definition of "system" when I complain it was written by law school dropouts.



  • @mott555 said:

    retarded sideways grip on a Glock

    I'm not sure why the concept of hunting "gangsta style" is so funny, but it is.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @hungrier said:

    I'm not sure why the concept of hunting "gangsta style" is so funny, but it is.

    The mark of a real hunta is the shell-casing burn on your forehead.



  • I'm sorry I can't get over that you spent that much money without just picking up the phone and asking for help. Why!?



  • @blakeyrat said:

    I'm sorry I can't get over that you spent that much money without just picking up the phone and asking for help. Why!?

    +1

    I would have 1) seen how stupid the site is, 2) tried to talk to someone instead, and failing that 3) just have gone to Missouri.



  • @ijij said:

    Huh. I figured Nebraska's hunting permits would just be printed on the back of their birth certificates.

    Nah, that's Oklahoma.



  • Don't go hunting. Go to the beach and leave those poor animals alone.



  • In Nebraska in the Fall? Brrr....

    Why stop at the beach? Fishing is usually better from a boat.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @chubertdev said:

    I would have 1) seen how stupid the site is, 2) tried to talk to someone instead, and failing that 3) just moved out of Nebraska.

    FTFM




  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    Swedish hunters have exactly the same reputation. But with more drunkenness…



  • @mott555 said:

    The Park Permit, with absolutely no mention of expiration dates on the public website that I could find, expires November 19, 2014,

    Not that anyone cares anymore, but it turns out my paper permit was very poorly worded. The paper permit I printed out expires Nov 19, but I was told by a coworker that they will mail me the real permit which is good until Dec 31. I think this issue was a multi-faceted TRWTF, with me being one single clueless facet on a big shiny diamond of WTFs.



  • TRWTF is buying a year permit for full price that expires in 2 months anyway?



  • The only other option is daily permits which cost $5 and you can only get for three consecutive days, and of course you specify what date they're valid when you purchase them so you have to plan park trips ahead of time. The annual lets me say "Oh I'm not doing anything this weekend so I'm going to go shoot some pheasant."



  • Fuck hunting! Drive a tractor.



  • @mott555 said:

    The paper permit I printed out expires Nov 19, but I was told by a coworker

    Not by... the PHONE LINE after you called them to get clarification?

    Here's a fun sentence to say:

    Maybe Mott's mute!



  • @flabdablet said:

    Fuck hunting! <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yHl24QynOM">Drive a tractor.</a>

    Needs more sippy hole.


  • area_deu






  • BINNED

    It's like Duck Hunt, but without the zapper!

    Also, no laughing dog. But it's OK. That's what your classmates were for.



  • I don't know, it might actually make sense to have different permits for lots of different things. You know, they might actually try to fix the damage you're doing to the habitat, and this helps them to know how much money to spend in which areas. Just guessing, though.
    But really, ranting about the fact you can't just pay a few bucks and go kill whatever you like wherever you like?
    The real WTF is people thinking they have the right to sell the lives to sell nature like that. I hope that one day an alien race will sell the rights to go hunting hunters on earth.

    Now, if you actually eat all your kills, that could be excusable. I mean; I suppose eating a dear you shot yourself has caused a lot less suffering than eating chicken from the supermarket. If that's your reasoning, I agree. If not... Your simply toying with nature for fun, and that's inexcusable.



  • Did you purchase your Waaaambulance permit?



  • You have zero understanding of hunters and conservation. I doubt this post will change anything (anti-hunters who can't research the topics are TRWTF) but here goes nothing.

    I do eat what I take, and I love the outdoors. Those are my reasons for hunting. Even if I don't get anything I love getting out of the city into the wilderness.

    Next, conservation is required to keep wildlife populations in check. State conservation departments are staffed by scientists and statisticians who keep close check on wildlife populations and balance and issue permits to control that. A couple years ago the local deer populations were nearly wiped out by disease, and fewer deer permits were issued because of that.

    Look up the elk vs wolf thing out west (Idaho, I think...or in that neighborhood anyway). At one point wolf hunting was outlawed because the natural wolf population was low. As a result the wolf populations grew unchecked and the elk herds were nearly wiped out. This is a major reason for hunting regulations. Ideally wolf hunting would have been allowed but with very few permits issued until the population recovered, instead the anti-science anti-data anti-hunting crowd thought wolves were cute and rammed a bill through banning wolf hunting, over the objections of all the scientists at the state's conservation department.

    Hunting is very necessary for population control, balance, and even disease management.



  • @mott555 said:

    I love the outdoors.

    He just hates telephones!

    Fucking telephones!



  • I do hate telephones. Any form of communication is better than phone calls IMO.



  • The fact you just like shooting entirely defenceless wild animals is just a bonus, right? I'm sure you do it only because you really care about population control, balance and even disease management.



  • I do like shooting animals, and helping the state manage population is a bonus. I don't see how that has any bearing on anything.

    Entirely defenseless is not accurate. Animals can run and hide which is a valid and generally reliable defense. I've also known people to get badly injured by antlers in an unexpected close encounter, and there's always the danger of bears and mountain lions if you're hiking and camping.


  • mod

    @aapis said:

    The fact you just like shooting entirely defenceless wild animals is just a bonus, right?

    Why can't you enjoy hunting and respect wildlife at the same time? Are those two positions really exclusive? I don't believe that they are.





  • @mott555 said:

    Hunting is very necessary for population control, balance, and even disease management.

    Exactly. I'd rather have deer on a plate than smashed all over the hood of my now-totaled car, or walking around sickly, serving as a reservoir for the next nastybug to brew up.



  • @mott555 said:

    I don't see how that has any bearing on anything.

    Some people think they aren't a part of nature and that laws of nature / physics / economics / mathematics / logic don't apply to them and that you should feel guilty for anything you do that makes them uncomfortable.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    You forgot to mention the Tragedy of the Commons.



  • @Evo said:

    The real WTF is people thinking they have the right to sell the lives to sell nature like that. I hope that one day an alien race will sell the rights to go hunting hunters on earth.

    You think that they don't? I'm sure that invisible alien in that movie had to wade through almost as much space bureaucracy as @mott555 before he went after Arnold and his 'roided out pals...



  • @smallshellscript said:

    I'm sure that invisible alien in that movie had to wade through almost as much space bureaucracy as @mott555 before he went after Arnold and his 'roided out pals...

    Predator 0 The Mini-Series: Watch as Predator struggles to balance his home life, work life, and recreational activities. How will his family fair when he's gone on hunting trips? Does he know his wife is cheating with the milkman? Plot twist! The milkman also works at the local Department of Natural Resources and his wife is sleeping with him for favors so Predator can get his permits and keep him out of her way so she can work on stealing the secret formula and get it patented first! Meanwhile, Predator Jr. faces problems at school after he's caught smoking pot in the locker room after football practice...



  • Ah but Pred can't discipline Pred Jr since he too smoked pot once. So they call in GrandPred to give him the "drugs are bad" speech. While he's there, Gramps figures out that the wife is stealing the formula but agrees to keep her secret in exchange for a cut since he never liked his son anyway (he wanted him to go into finance).


  • Fake News

    @boomzilla said:

    Some people think they aren't a part of nature and that laws of nature / physics / economics / mathematics / logic don't apply to them and that you should feel guilty for anything you do that makes them uncomfortable.
    But hamburger meat comes from unicorns, amirite?!?



  • Ah the unicorn burger. So much tastier because they're rare.



  • Predatress, worried that Gramps is in on the secret, mixes poison into a drink and offers it to him once he's done with the "drugs are bad" speech. Minutes later he is dead of an apparent heart attack and her plans to steal the formula are once again safe. Since Grandma Predator had passed several years earlier in a freak gardening accident, Predatress will get the life insurance. Should make it even simpler to acquire the formula.



  • She thinks she's safe until the last minute when we find out that the milkman she's been boffing is a secret agent who's been waiting to catch her with the formula all along. We think that her plans have been foiled and all is lost until Jr whacks him in the back of the head with a two-by-four.



  • Meanwhile, Predator stands in line at the local Starport. He thinks he has all his permits in order but Starport Security isn't too happy about the cloaking device or laser sights in his carry-on luggage. Mainly because they hardly ever see that stuff and don't even know what their own laws and rules are on such equipment.

    He gets pulled aside for questioning and though his papers look legit, Security holds him for a couple hours while they try to pull their heads out of their bums far enough to figure out what the proper procedure is.



  • So you've met the TSA.

    Best line ever overheard at a checkin counter (years ago, probably wouldn't go over well now):

    "So sir, exactly how many bullets do you have with you?"



  • @mott555 said:

    Predatress

    I read this as "pedantress". I think I've been here too long.



  • @smallshellscript said:

    So you've met the TSA.

    Last time I flew they made me throw away my nearly-empty tube of toothpaste. But only because it was carry-on, if I'd checked instead it would have been okay. (I always do carry-on just so everything stays in my possession.)


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @loopback0 said:

    I read this as "pedantress". I think I've been here too long.

    There's a thread for that: http://what.thedailywtf.com/t/you-know-youve-been-at-tdwtf-too-long-when/4350.




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