How To Demoralize Employees: A DIY Guide for Terrible Companies
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Of course it's always banned in air-coned area, but it used to be allowed to smoke at stairs where everybody usually go with lifts when need to go in/out the buildings.
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Let both coffee vending machines run out of coffee and don't fill them up for ... most of a week and counting (one ran out last Friday, the other on Monday).
In the last 3-4 years, the management company at my building has booted two different vending machine vendors for going weeks at a time without refilling. This spring they wised up and hired an actual professional company that's not only done a lot better job, but is also honoring requests for, e.g., different kinds of soda.
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I filtered 33 noisy posts to a new topic: Noise from "How to Demoralize Employees: A DIY Guide for Terrible Companies"
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This post is deleted!
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Tell your programmers to use antipatterns like global variables and blocks of very similar 1288 lines of code (with minor undocumented differences) at 6 different location throughout the project "because that's how we always did it and as you can see, it works."
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very similar 1288 lines of code (with minor undocumented differences) at 6 different location throughout the project
Don't you mean in the same function, divided by if statements...
(Yes, my current place has this and no, they won't let me remove it)
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(Yes, my current place has this and no, they won't let me remove it)
This shows how confident they are of that shit.
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Don't you mean in the same function, divided by if statements...
Maybe in two or three cases.
But mostly something like a load procedure in the main form, a reload procedure in the form that displays stuff, another reload procedure in a form that lets one edit the stuff, and so forth.
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Tell your programmers to use antipatterns like global variables and blocks of very similar 1288 lines of code (with minor undocumented differences) at 6 different location throughout the project "because that's how we always did it and as you can see, it works."
If by "it works" they mean drive their devs crazy, I would have to agree with them.
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I used to have a cow-orker who sincerely argued that COBOL was great because you had to declare everything globally, making it easier to find the declarations. He honestly felt that local functions were Ebbil with a capital E.
This was in 1992, when I was a college student (for the second time), about five years before I did any professional programming; we were both working night shift at a security desk. He was in his late fifties, and had been forced to retired early from IBM because even they thought his view that mainframes were still the way to go and always would be was pants-on-head retarded.
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Humm... Switch to MUMPS would have been easier.
And that should be able to scare whoever wants to help away.
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4 posts were demoralized enough to start a new topic: Jeffing Weirds Counts
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This post is deleted!
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6 moralized posts created a mobile topic: Not demoralizing, just on mobile
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Place your employees in a colorless, featureless cubefarm.
I've never seen a office that is not an open plan
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I've never seen a office that is not an open plan
At VMware, I shared an office that had real walls and a real door. sigh.
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I always work in open plan offices without ceilings. You look up and WHAM there's the HVAC. You wanted to see that right? It's so attractive.
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No need for white noise generators. oh wait...
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Sounds like a barn
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You look up and WHAM there's the HVAC. You wanted to see that right?
The IT department at a copper mining/refining company I used to work at was housed in what had been converted from the smelter workers' shower room. No windows in the building, and under the indoor-outdoor carpeting, there were drains, and the floor sloped down toward them (every day, I had to re-set the mat under my chair because it would slide closer to the low point).
Still, we had it better than the accountants who shared the loft space that had been carved out above us. Floor-to-ceiling for them was about six and a half feet.
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I have free coffee and can bring coke to my desk.
Also, the company doesn't give much fuck about software I install as long as it isn't outright malware.This lax is compensated amply by being in an open space, not a cube farm. Noisy, and feeling people's looks over your shoulder more than I'd like.
The rest of the shit described by you is here. Grid locations, tickets, etc.
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can bring coke to my desk
Lucky you. Here, if you try, the narco squad busts your ass.
Mormons and their caffeine bans, amirite?
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My current workplace is like that, but we're all devs so it's very quite most of the time... until someone forgets to lower the volume and you hear the Star Wars intro all the way down the street two floors down.
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I have free coffee and can bring coke to my desk.
Is not being able to bring soft drinks to your desk something normal there? That you actually called-out the fact that it's allowed?
The shitty place I worked when I originally wrote this not only didn't have free coffee, but it was "against the rules" to bring in your own coffeemaker instead. I guess because that way the shitty cafeteria makes less money?
I usually spent the half-hour to walk to the coffee stand across the street just out of spite.
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Is not being able to bring soft drinks to your desk something normal there? That you actually called-out the fact that it's allowed?
Judging by everything else, I wouldn't be surprised if they disallowed it.
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I usually spent the half-hour to walk to the coffee stand across the street just out of spite.
QF+1
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bring coke to my desk.
They let you do lines at your desk? Man, your employer is laid back.
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Mormons and their caffeine bans, amirite?
Belgium! How many times do I have to say this: I can have caffeine! :P
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Still, we had it better than the accountants who shared the loft space that had been carved out above us. Floor-to-ceiling for them was about six and a half feet.
-insert accountants being trolls joke here-
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Small business FTW:
We have free coffee here. The boss just has a standing order with Costco for boxes of Kurieg refills. It's swill, but it has caffeine.
There's also always a bowl of fruit in the front lobby. Boss reasons it's nice to look at, helps to keep people healthy. I haven't had scurvy since I started here, so he must be right.
I don't have a coffee maker, but I did bring in a french press, a grinder, and I buy beans from a local roaster. There's a kettle in the kitchen.
I can bring food and drink to my desk. So can everyone else. Because, surprisingly, we're adults.
In fact, forget food and drink to the desk. I hijacked an unused bookshelf, moved it into my office, and it's piled full of snacks and treats. People will often help themselves to the wrapped chocolate in the Skyflakes boxes (milk and dark).
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@Lorne_Kates said:
I hijacked an unused bookshelf, moved it into my office, and it's piled full of snacks and treats.
That looks like our Communal Bookshelf of Weight Gain, which is mostly full of candy, chips, and other high-calorie low-nutrition items. Also hot sauces, which are very important.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
I hijacked an unused bookshelf, moved it into my office, and it's piled full of snacks and treats.
We would have such a shelf, except the local
locustssoftware engineers keep it emptied down. ;)
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My current workplace is like that, but we're all devs so it's very quite most of the time... until someone forgets to lower the volume and you hear the Star Wars intro all the way down the street two floors down.
There's also the "FUCK" or "OH SHIT" exclamation. Sometimes "YES!" and "You've got to be kidding", though the last one is usually mumbled.
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I usually spent the half-hour to walk to the coffee stand across the street just out of spite.
Probably better and cheaper knowing most company cafeterias...
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There's also the "FUCK" or "OH SHIT" exclamation. Sometimes "YES!" and "You've got to be kidding", though the last one is usually mumbled.
You must have a young workforce. A more experienced group of devs would be more “That won't ever work.” “Here we go again.” and “We're all doomed! Doomed!”
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"It shouldn't even be possible for that to happen"
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You must have a young workforce.
Actually, that was me. Though I try to keep the language a little cleaner in an open environment
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There's also "how in the hell did that ever work"
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@dcon said:
There's also the "FUCK" or "OH SHIT" exclamation. Sometimes "YES!" and "You've got to be kidding", though the last one is usually mumbled.
You must have a young workforce. A more experienced group of devs would be more “That won't ever work.” “Here we go again.” and “We're all doomed! Doomed!”
With regard to "about to be an implemented solution" attitude, you can tell the difference between a newbie and someone with experience easily:
Newbie: It will work.
Experienced: It should work.;-)
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Btw, in my ex-company, the Shenzhen office do not have pantry. All they offer is distilled water.
I had to walk down to supermarket every morning to buy canned coffee.
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The shitty place I worked when I originally wrote this not only didn't have free coffee, but it was "against the rules" to bring in your own coffeemaker instead. I guess because that way the shitty cafeteria makes less money?
That is horrible. It is a crime against humanity and even radioactive rats should not have to go through this shit.
I usually spent the half-hour to walk to the coffee stand across the street just out of spite.
Walking is good, if it was not for coffee shop near us perhaps I had to buy trousers every month and would not see the sun either.I had to walk down to supermarket every morning to buy canned coffee.
Why people? why? Do you all work for charity organizations that cannot afford coffee.Demand Nespresso machines or go on strike.
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We get random nerf attacks and one guy likes to whip a sticky ball across the room to stick to a whiteboard. Right by my head.
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We get random nerf attacks
I've seen a couple very impressive nerf guns around here. The large magazine kind.
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Why people? why? Do you all work for charity organizations that cannot afford coffee.
Demand Nespresso machines or go on strike.
Too late. I don't work there anymore.And btw, I actually enjoyed having excuse to go out for a walk when I need it.
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That's good for pretending your workplace is fun and casual without actually doing anything meaningful to make it fun and casual!
Sure you've been working crunch time for 3 months straight, but look, one of those slingshot monkeys from ThinkGeek! HOW WACKY!
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Newbie: It will work.Experienced: It should work.
I had my boss about ready to hit me today because I kept saying "should" in every single sentence related to possible fixes for a moderately critical bug. It doesn't repro in test and we can't fuck around reproing in prod because we miss manufacturing SLAs if we delay anything, so literally nothing is a certainty.