The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@loopback0 I think it's the meme template that's motherfucking gold.
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Nextdoor...
I replied: Amazing how airports and paths between them work!
The next response was better:
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@dcon I hope they remembered to discard the forerun and tails :)
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@Placeholder said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Fun fact: in Poland, while shoplifting doesn't have any punishment whatsoever as long as you stay under $100, stealing a candy bar from vending machine would probably qualify as break-in theft, which can get you up to 10 years in prison.
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@Gąska but I thought the vending machines had screen doors.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dcon I hope they remembered to discard the forerun and tails :)
It's moonshine. They want to have something left…
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Things that remind you of the entire forum:
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@TimeBandit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I do hope he manage to spell it correctly, or is the actual reconnect message spelt wrong in Zoom at the first place?
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@cheong said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@TimeBandit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
...
I do hope he manage to spell it correctly, or is the actual reconnect message spelt wrong in Zoom at the first place?
The misspelling earns him EXTRA points, he's already figured out that users don't read.
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@Placeholder said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Do not use endoscopy equipment to steal chocolate from this vending machine.
Theft is a crime and next time the Police will be notified.
Theatre Committee"Theatre committee"?
...Why would a theatre have endoscopy equipment? Or did someone bring their own pliers-equipped endoscope just to rob a vending machine?
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Placeholder said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Do not use endoscopy equipment to steal chocolate from this vending machine.
Theft is a crime and next time the Police will be notified.
Theatre Committee"Theatre committee"?
...Why would a theatre have endoscopy equipment? Or did someone bring their own pliers-equipped endoscope just to rob a vending machine?
Not that kind of Theatre?
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Why would a theatre have endoscopy equipment?
For operating.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Not that kind of Theatre?
@dkf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
For operating.
I thought about that possibility too, but well...
Theatre committee
"Committee". Surely not...?
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Trick questions are always fun on an exam.
Another classic is:
"Oscar and Lisa, twin siblings, claim that they're identical twins (i.e. of the same egg-cell). They share these common traits: [...]. What is the probability that they are, indeed, identical twins?"0. Identical twins are of the same sex.
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@acrow You're missing a big loophole.
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@Zecc Well, the example is older than me, and avocados weren't a thing yet.
Probably legally impossible to change the sex of your name back then, too, but don't quote me on that.
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Next up in the mythical man month, how many women do you need to deliver a baby in one month?
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
T=Ʃ(nMB), for all values of P, where n is the number of bars, M is the meter and B is tempo in beats per minute.
Next question?
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@GOG said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Next question?
Is prep time included?
Doubling the size of the orchestra usually adds like 10 minutes to the time they need for assembling. So that 60-head orchestra might be done 10 minutes faster.
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@acrow Prep time does not intuitively fall under the definition of "playing" (for example, rehearsal also counts as prep), so I'm gonna venture a "no" on that.
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc Well, the example is older than me, and avocados weren't a thing yet.
Probably legally impossible to change the sex of your name back then, too, but don't quote me on that.
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@LaoC for the guy apparently being German born, that abomination of a surname suspiciously reads like the kind of badly translated "German" you'd hear in Family Guy.
Edit: I see I'm not the only one: "Dmitri Borgmann, a fellow emigrant from Germany, held that the 666-letter version of the surname was untranslatable due to its numerous grammatical and spelling errors"
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Next up in the mythical man month, how many women do you need to deliver a baby in one month?
Um....
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Next up in the mythical man month, how many women do you need to deliver a baby in one month?
Um....
I don't think if you add more men you'd get the baby faster, either.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Next up in the mythical man month, how many women do you need to deliver a baby in one month?
Um....
I don't think if you add more men you'd get the baby faster, either.
No, not with that attitude.
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Not that kind of Theatre?
@dkf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
For operating.
I thought about that possibility too, but well...
Theatre committee
"Committee". Surely not...?
They're the ones that determine if an operation is being performed on the theatre or just some backroom somewhere.
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
"Oscar and Lisa, twin siblings, claim that they're identical twins (i.e. of the same egg-cell). They share these common traits: [...]. What is the probability that they are, indeed, identical twins?"
0. Identical twins are of the same sex.There is no data in the problem as stated that says Oscar and Lisa are of different sexes. Lots of people give their kids weird names.
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@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Lots of people give their kids weird names.
Yeah. Like "Twilight Sparkle" and "Shining Armor". Who the fuck does that?!?
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Trick questions are always fun on an exam.
Another classic is:
"Oscar and Lisa, twin siblings, claim that they're identical twins (i.e. of the same egg-cell). They share these common traits: [...]. What is the probability that they are, indeed, identical twins?"0. Identical twins are of the same sex.Note: this only works in Europe where names still make sense.
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@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
"Oscar and Lisa, twin siblings, claim that they're identical twins (i.e. of the same egg-cell). They share these common traits: [...]. What is the probability that they are, indeed, identical twins?"
0. Identical twins are of the same sex.There is no data in the problem as stated that says Oscar and Lisa are of different sexes. Lots of people give their kids weird names.
Not in the problem itself, but many countries, Finland included, have (or had) laws stating that you can't give a kid a mis-gendered name. That is, if a name is strongly associated with one gender, you can't give it to a child of the opposite gender.
Yeah, I know, I left details out of the example. Woe be me.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Lots of people give their kids weird names.
Yeah. Like "Twilight Sparkle" and "Shining Armor". Who the fuck does that?!?
Gwyneth Paltrow named her kid Apple. To be fair though, how many Gwyneth's do you know?
And come to think of it, I don't think I've ever actually met a Blythe in person either.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Trick questions are always fun on an exam.
Another classic is:
"Oscar and Lisa, twin siblings, claim that they're identical twins (i.e. of the same egg-cell). They share these common traits: [...]. What is the probability that they are, indeed, identical twins?"0. Identical twins are of the same sex.Note: this only works in Europe where names still make sense.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...a girl named Alan:
(Tibetan singer. Full name "Alan Dawa Dolma". Actually pretty good.)
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Next up in the mythical man month, how many women do you need to deliver a baby in one month?
Um....
I don't think if you add more men you'd get the baby faster, either.
It depends. Is the woman pregnant yet? If not, then, well...
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@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I don't think I've ever actually met a Blythe in person either.
Consider yourself lucky:
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@HardwareGeek Sounds hot