The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@asdf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I don't understand any of these...
I guess they're supposed to be anti-jokes.
Perhaps if I understood the original jokes I might be able to agree...
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Working in retail (Sorry for jelly potato)
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@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It's not an opinion if it's a literal truth.
No, I'm not telling anyone to stop drinking cow's milk. Yes, I happily drink cow's milk.
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@polygeekery Because soy milk is not fucking milk! It's soy juice!
Literally the only similarity it has with milk is that it's white.
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@anonymous234 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Literally the only similarity it has with milk is that it's white.
And that it both have the word "milk" in their name. And that they can be used interchangeably in recipes.
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@vault_dweller said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@anonymous234 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Literally the only similarity it has with milk is that it's white.
And that it both have the word "milk" in their name. And that they can be used interchangeably in recipes.
There are many types of recipes where replacing dairy milk with soy milk will go badly. Different blend of sugars (lactose in one, sucrose in the other), different proteins, different amounts and types of fat, different flavor profile...the list goes on.
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@vault_dweller said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
And that it both have the word "milk" in their name.
@vault_dweller said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
And that they can be used interchangeably in recipes.
For varying definitions of "interchangeably".
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@benjamin-hall want to play a rousing game of "Spot the vegan"?
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@benjamin-hall denied (well, halfway at least), as I realize my point is a bit ambiguous. I meant some recipes, not all recipes.
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@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@benjamin-hall want to play a rousing game of "Spot the vegan"?
That's not hard--it's like a Harvard graduate. They'll tell you when you meet them (with lots of condescension)
Actually, one of my colleagues graduated from Harvard. He was asked in a meeting to say what's special about Harvard. His first response: the arrogance of its graduates
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@vault_dweller said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
And that they can be used interchangeably in recipes.
Everything can be used interchangeably when you don't care about the result being the same.
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@vault_dweller said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@benjamin-hall denied (well, halfway at least), as I realize my point is a bit ambiguous. I meant some recipes, not all recipes.
-denial denied. Scoping rules for English require qualifications otherwise generalities are presumed.
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@anonymous234 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
when you don't care about the result being the same.
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@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@benjamin-hall want to play a rousing game of "Spot the vegan"?
That's not hard--it's like a Harvard graduate. They'll tell you when you meet them (with lots of condescension)
Actually, one of my colleagues graduated from Harvard. He was asked in a meeting to say what's special about Harvard. His first response: the arrogance of its graduates
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@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
They'll tell you when you meet them (with lots of condescension)
It's weird how people always say that, but I've never met a vegan who lived up to the stereotype.
Do you think that maybe there are other vegans who don't go around telling everyone that they're vegan, but you don't know how many of them there are because you don't know they're vegan?
FTR, I'm not a vegan and I love meat, cheese and milk.
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@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Scoping rules for English require qualifications otherwise generalities are presumed.
But choosing the generality that conveniently suits your point is also disqualified.
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@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
want to play a rousing game of "Spot the vegan"?
I almost forgot to address this point, but you lost the game. I am what you could call an anti-vegan. My staple diet consists of meat, rice and potatoes. The only reason I eat vegetables is because my wife tells me to.
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@jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It's weird how people always say that, but I've never met a vegan who lived up to the stereotype.
I have. Maybe it is an American vegan thing?
One time the wife and I visited a local shop that specializes in just hot sauces. We are in there, it is a slow day in the shop and we are just sitting there talking with the owner and something came up about vegans. I told him the old joke: "How do you know if someone is a vegan? Don't worry, they will tell you." He laughs. 10 minutes later a woman comes in to buy hot sauce and she mentions how the hot sauce she is buying really goes perfect with the vegan cuisine she cooks at home.
The owner chuckled a little bit and shot me a glance. As soon as she leaves he makes the remark that it is less a joke and more an observation.
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@vault_dweller said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
you lost the game
The only way to win is not to play?
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@jaloopa my comment was merely japery and playing to stereotypes. Oddly enough, I'm more serious in the threads than many others.
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@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
my comment was merely japery and playing to stereotypes
Like the stereotype about your religion worshipping cows?
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@jaloopa that's a new one to me, I'll confess. I've heard the claim that Mormons worship Joseph Smith, the one that we baptise dead people into polygamous harems for living members (no, seriously), but not about worshipping cows. Cows exist to be eaten and to give milk.
Edit: ohh I forgot one. There's this rumor that we hunt down those who stop coming to church and execute then Mafia-style. I was always sad that wasn't true
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@benjamin-hall I must be getting my religions mixed up again. You're the ones who get picked up by Valkyries and feast in Valhalla, right?
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@jaloopa yeah, sure. Throw in Xenu and you've just about got it.
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@benjamin-hall I already did Scientology last week
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@jaloopa got me there. Having to remember things is a to posting. Oh, and this is the last day before I go back to school for real (with the kids). Can't be bothered to think today.
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Not to mention nut milk...
@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
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@hungrier said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@vault_dweller said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
you lost the game
Shit
Oh for....!!!!!
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@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jaloopa that's a new one to me, I'll confess. I've heard the claim that Mormons worship Joseph Smith, the one that we baptise dead people into polygamous harems for living members (no, seriously), but not about worshipping cows. Cows exist to be eaten and to give milk.
Edit: ohh I forgot one. There's this rumor that we hunt down those who stop coming to church and execute then Mafia-style. I was always sad that wasn't true
To be fair, I'm not that hard to find, I'm mostly in my bed.
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Not to mention nut milk...
Almond milk is for baby Als?
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@tsaukpaetra don't worry. Hunting you down would require two things I don't have: money and effort. Oh, and care. Make that three things...
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@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@tsaukpaetra don't worry. Hunting you down would require two things I don't have: money and effort. Oh, and care. Make that three things...
Effort isn't something you have, silly!
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@tsaukpaetra it would take effort to reword that in a cromulent fashion, and I don't have any.
Oh, and no one expects the Mormon Inquisition.
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@jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I love meat
Same.
@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I have. Maybe it is an American vegan thing?
I think so, yes.
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@heterodox said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I love meat
Same.
I imagine you're not so keen on cheesy meat though
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@hungrier said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@vault_dweller said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
you lost the game
Shit
WHAT YEAR IS IT?!
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@jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I imagine you're not so keen on cheesy meat though
WHY. I should learn not to play the innuendo game at this table; I fold.
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@heterodox yeah, she forgot about inviting total strangers from clear across the world to stay on your couch:
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@polygeekery That's just as creepy to me.