The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boner I'll have a go at explaining these:
- When the idea of washing machines in kitchens was just super strange.
- Most UK homes don't have a separate utilities room.
- When they questioned our fine food. (beans on toast)
- I have no idea why baked beans are so popular int he UK, but the better brands have plenty of flavour. Also, no other country in the word eats anywhere near the amount the UK eats. I think part of it is they're cheap and quick to heat up, and are therefore a staple foodstuff of university students.
- And our desserts. (spotted dick)
- Chances are, if the name is an innuendo, the dessert itself has been around longer than the United States has. English was a very different language back then.
- When they stumbled upon the British legend Mr Blobby.
- Mr Blobby… yeah… Moving on.
- When they couldn't grasp the concept of an egg cup.
- The egg cup is only used to hold the cooked soft-boiled egg so you can dip strips of bread or toast (known as soldiers) into it.
- When they didn't know why we use washing-up bowls. (plastic tub like in the onebox thumbnail)
- Y'know what? I don't get it either. It's just what we do.
- When our lack of tipping was exposed.
- We pay waiters and bar staff properly.
- When the "cheeky Nando's" meme had all of America scratching their heads. (basically that scene from Austin Powers where the English-English subtitles give up)
- Trolling Americans is fun :D
- When our greatest invention, train wine, was discovered.
- Wine is more sophisticated than beer, even when served in plastic. It just is.
- When we confused them with our holidays.
- Bonfire Night is when we celebrate not having our government blown up by, let's be honest, a terrorist.
- When our orange juice came with juicy bits. (instead of pulp)
- That's just marketing bullshit.
- When America didn't have a word for "fortnight".
- It's just a word. Get over it already. Even better: use it. You use most of the others we created already.
- When our two-tap system was a mystery.
- It's just the way it's done.
- When they had questions about our tea-drinking habits. (iced tea)
- Britain is a colder country than most of the US, therefore we drink hot drinks. Also, we kinda got crazy addicted to tea when we started trading with China and India, and it's just hung around.
- When they discovered Embarrassing Bodies.
- People will do anything to get on TV nowadays.
- When "fanny" meant something completely different.
- Yes, because 'fanny' here means 'vagina'. Which, given bum bags are worn at the front, would make 'fanny pack' more accurate
- When they wanted to learn more about our TV channels. (they're all BBC)
- The BBC is the state-funded national broadcaster, and has to have that many channels so it can fulfill all its obligations under the BBC Charter. But we also have commercial TV: ITV, Channel 4, Channel 5, BSkyB, and others.
- When our puddings weren't puddings.
- A pudding is named for the manner in which it is made, not the course it is part of.
- And when they picked up on our overuse of the letter X.
- A lone
x
is a kiss. It's affectionate.
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@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The egg cup is only used to hold the cooked soft-boiled egg so you can dip strips of bread or toast (known as soldiers) into it.
which is a useless item, when I can just have it on my plate and use the toast on it without needing cut it into little slices.
@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It's just a word. Get over it already. Even better: use it. You use most of the others we created already.
Why say fortnight when we can just say two weeks? Same number of chars, same number of syllables.
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@boner said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Don't usually link these but I lolled.
TRWTF is how that page renders on desktop.
Filed Under: Three pixels too small
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@dragoon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The egg cup is only used to hold the cooked soft-boiled egg so you can dip strips of bread or toast (known as soldiers) into it.
which is a useless item, when I can just have it on my plate and use the toast on it without needing cut it into little slices.
@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It's just a word. Get over it already. Even better: use it. You use most of the others we created already.
Why say fortnight when we can just say two weeks? Same number of chars, same number of syllables.
Because it wouldn't be double good?
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@dragoon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Why say fortnight when we can just say two weeks?
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@dragoon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The egg cup is only used to hold the cooked soft-boiled egg so you can dip strips of bread or toast (known as soldiers) into it.
which is a useless item, when I can just have it on my plate and use the toast on it without needing cut it into little slices.
But that's less fun!
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@raceprouk
I eat food for a lot of reasons, fun is not one of them.
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@dragoon You're missin' out, man
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@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I have no idea why baked beans are so popular int he UK, but the better brands have plenty of flavour. Also, no other country in the word eats anywhere near the amount the UK eats. I think part of it is they're cheap and quick to heat up, and are therefore a staple foodstuff of university students.
On toast, though?
@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Bonfire Night is when we celebrate not having our government blown up by, let's be honest, a terrorist.
And you celebrate by blowing things up. I mean, sure... why not. You can never have enough celebratory blowing up of things holidays.
@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It's just a word. Get over it already. Even better: use it. You use most of the others we created already.
Oh, we used to use "fortnight" -- just like we used to use "fourscore". People here just seem to like "two weeks" better than "fortnight", though. It's just too hard to remember conversationally that a "score" means twenty days and a "tnight" means three and a half.
@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
A pudding is named for the manner in which it is made, not the course it is part of.
That pudding is. In the US you have "popovers" and "desserts"... in the UK you have "puddings" and "puddings".
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@anotherusername A score means twenty anything. The most famous use of the word "fourscore" in American culture was, in fact, followed almost immediately by the word "years."
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla I call my cat furbeast. Or sometimes dumbshit.
That works too.
I try to keep my name calling positive for my kids.
Though, when my daughter runs...I call her derpy.
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@hungrier said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
When they stumbled upon the British legend Mr Blobby.
Oh well that sounds like a cute--
AaaaaAAAAAAAAA!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I have no idea why baked beans are so popular int he UK, but the better brands have plenty of flavour. Also, no other country in the word eats anywhere near the amount the UK eats. I think part of it is they're cheap and quick to heat up, and are therefore a staple foodstuff of university students.
On toast, though?
Why not? It's cheap, easy to make, and relatively healthy. Hard to fault, really.
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Bonfire Night is when we celebrate not having our government blown up by, let's be honest, a terrorist.
And you celebrate by blowing things up. I mean, sure... why not. You can never have enough celebratory blowing up of things holidays.
The actual symbolic part is burning an effigy of Guy Fawkes on a massive bonfire. The fireworks are just because they're pretty
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@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Why not? It's cheap, easy to make, and relatively healthy. Hard to fault, really.
I imagine I'd try it if it occurred to me. However, I've never had British baked beans. I looked around for some recipes and they are definitely quite a bit different than what we tend to have over here. It's difficult to imagine proper baked beans without bacon.
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@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I have no idea why baked beans are so popular int he UK, but the better brands have plenty of flavour. Also, no other country in the word eats anywhere near the amount the UK eats. I think part of it is they're cheap and quick to heat up, and are therefore a staple foodstuff of university students.
On toast, though?
Why not? It's cheap, easy to make, and relatively healthy. Hard to fault, really.
We're perfectly happy eating our beans from a dish, with a spoon. No bread required.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
However, I've never had British baked beans.
If you ever see the brand Heinz, they're pretty much the best at the British baked bean.
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@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
If you ever see the brand Heinz, they're pretty much the best at
the British baked beanketchup.FTFA
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@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
- I have no idea why baked beans are so popular int he UK, but the better brands have plenty of flavour. Also, no other country in the word eats anywhere near the amount the UK eats. I think part of it is they're cheap and quick to heat up, and are therefore a staple foodstuff of university students.
It's the starch-on-starch thing, also evident in "chip butties" (BTW, that's another thing we don't get over here: the apparently irresistible urge to give dishes names that sound either unappetizing or merely ridiculous; "spag bol" as an example of the former and the iconic "spotted dick" for the latter). Over here, we don't take one complex carb, wrap it in another, and then pour a third all over it (mmm, ramen noodles burrito, anyone?)
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@masonwheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
If you ever see the brand Heinz, they're pretty much the best at
the British baked beanketchup.FTFA
Both are true.
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@da-doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
"spag bol" as an example of the former
Yeah… Dunno why we don't just use the Italian name 'ragu'.
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@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Though, when my daughter runs...I call her derpy.
Awe that's so cute!
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@jazzyjosh said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
derpy
inb4 @Tsaukpaetra
.... Why? I don't have astigmatism, my dad does.
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@da-doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
mmm, ramen noodles burrito, anyone?
Mmmmm I know what I'm having for break-- um brunch!
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
People here just seem to like "two weeks" better than "fortnight", though. It's just too hard to remember conversationally that a "score" means twenty days and a "tnight" means three and a half.
Or, you could realise it's a contraction of fourteen nights. Occasionally, I try to bring back sennight but without much success.
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@coldandtired said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
People here just seem to like "two weeks" better than "fortnight", though. It's just too hard to remember conversationally that a "score" means twenty days and a "tnight" means three and a half.
Or, you could realise it's a contraction of fourteen nights. Occasionally, I try to bring back sennight but without much success.
I seem to recall also occasionally seeing it as a contraction of "forty nights". Because of this ambiguity, I say good riddance to "fortnight".
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@djls45 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I seem to recall also occasionally seeing it as a contraction of "forty nights".
Nowhere in Britain, for sure. Unless people have very long holidays.
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@coldandtired said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
People here just seem to like "two weeks" better than "fortnight", though. It's just too hard to remember conversationally that a "score" means twenty days and a "tnight" means three and a half.
Or, you could realise it's a contraction of fourteen nights.
But really, it makes no sense. How am I to know that it's a contraction of fourteen nights? The most vital bit has been contracted right out!! It could just as easily be a contraction of forty nights... which is how it's spelled more like even! And it's not used like a contraction of "fourteen nights" properly, either: "in a fortnight" = "in a fourteen nights"? GET OUT.
Hell, it could even mean "fourth night", as in "a fourth night from now"...
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@coldandtired said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
you could realise it's a contraction of fourteen nights. Occasionally, I try to bring back sennight but without much success.
I'd rather try to push for "hebdomad" instead.
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
There's no whooshing with Americans - they have their own version of Poe's Law.
How am I to know that it's a contraction of fourteen nights?
The same way you learn other words? It's about a thousand years old, so you've had time.
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A fort night.
Doesn't that refer to the conditions that inspired Francis Scott Key to write the national anthem?
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@da-doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'd rather try to push for "hebdomad" instead.
Nice - I'll add it to the list. I'm doing pretty well with 'Chinese fire drill', which is seeing a resurgence in a very small part of West Warsaw :)
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@coldandtired said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
There's no whooshing with Americans - they have their own version of Poe's Law.
The part where I made up a "tnight" and said it is three and a half days should've been your clue that I was mocking how stupid of a word "fortnight" was. But hey, you gave me a lead-in to the rest of my rant, so thanks I guess.
@coldandtired said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The same way you learn other words? It's about a thousand years old, so you've had time.
Nah, thanks. I don't need to dig up an old, dead word that means "two weeks". I'll just say two weeks like all the other normal people over here.
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
should've been your clue
Normally, yes. But you were commenting on an article full of people living up to the Ignorant American stereotype.
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
all the other normal people over here.
That's a pretty exclusive club ;)
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Aaaaannnyyways, back to funny stuff...
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jazzyjosh said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
derpy
inb4 @Tsaukpaetra
.... Why? I don't have astigmatism, my dad does.
I don't get this.
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@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jazzyjosh said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
derpy
inb4 @Tsaukpaetra
.... Why? I don't have astigmatism, my dad does.
I don't get this.
@Tsaukpaetra try looking at your feet.
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@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jazzyjosh said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
derpy
inb4 @Tsaukpaetra
.... Why? I don't have astigmatism, my dad does.
I don't get this.
To be fair, I don't either.
@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jazzyjosh said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
derpy
inb4 @Tsaukpaetra
.... Why? I don't have astigmatism, my dad does.
I don't get this.
@Tsaukpaetra try looking at your feet.
Unable to comply.
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@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jazzyjosh said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
derpy
inb4 @Tsaukpaetra
.... Why? I don't have astigmatism, my dad does.
I don't get this.
@Tsaukpaetra try looking at your feet.
Um...
- derpy
- @Tsaukpaetra
- astigmatism
- feet
I do not understand the connection.
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@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jazzyjosh said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
derpy
inb4 @Tsaukpaetra
.... Why? I don't have astigmatism, my dad does.
I don't get this.
@Tsaukpaetra try looking at your feet.
Um...
- derpy
- @Tsaukpaetra
- astigmatism
- feet
I do not understand the connection.
No! Stop! He's trying to brainwash you! Cease your line of questioning before it's too late!
Here, to take your mind off of this, have a kitty!
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Here, to take your mind off of this, have a kitty!
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@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jazzyjosh said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
derpy
inb4 @Tsaukpaetra
.... Why? I don't have astigmatism, my dad does.
I don't get this.
@Tsaukpaetra try looking at your feet.
Um...
- derpy "feet"
- @Tsaukpaetra
astigmatism
I do not understand the connection.
Rearranged that for you.
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@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@da-doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
"spag bol" as an example of the former
Yeah… Dunno why we don't just use the Italian name 'ragu'.
Possibly because it's a brand name for such sauce.
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@raceprouk said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
And you celebrate by blowing things up. I mean, sure... why not. You can never have enough celebratory blowing up of things holidays.
The actual symbolic part is burning an effigy of Guy Fawkes on a massive bonfire. The fireworks are just because they're pretty
Come to Lewes sometime, or any of the nearby towns that have a Bonfire Society, because they don't just do fireworks, they parade through the streets in costumes with flaming torches, then do the bonfire and fireworks thing.
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