The Official Status Thread
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@Jaloopa said in The Official Status Thread:
Apart from literally every uk number except 999
Dont forget your 118118. True story:
My boss has a DDI that's [area code] 811118. He often arrives in the morning to voicemails along the lines of
Hi. It's, er, Dave. I'm looking for a plumbers' merchant near the high street. If you can give me a call back on...
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@Boner they've got his number
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Went out last night to see a friend of a friend perform. Got shitfaced safe in the knowledge that I could just plod into work today late knowing that the current build is in test and won't be seeing the light of day until next week. All was well in my idyllic corner of the world. I plod into work about an hour ago to my Technical Lead and Manager in full crisis mode. Marketing has promised a new version today and the clients are screaming bloody murder looking for it.
MOTHERFUCKER!?!!?!?!?
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Status: the Azure and build process tasks have been sitting in the backlog for about three months, untouched, despite the client pushing us to get started on the deployments. I've been fighting tooth and nail to grab them, and everyone knew I'm interested in doing them, but I've never managed to squeeze them into a sprint once functional features were in.
So of course when I take two days off, they suddenly become TOP PRIORITY CAN'T WAIT DO IT NOW, get stuck into sprint backlog in the middle of a sprint, and land on someone else's desk before I get out of bed today.
Motherfuckers.
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@Maciejasjmj they just didn't want you doing them
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STATUS:
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Status: I don't think C# string interpolation works exactly how I thought it did.
Passing an interpolated string as a function parameter seems to result in the interpolated section being null as the variables are then out of scope at evaluation. I had kind of assumed it was immediately evaluated.
This explains the mysterious missing line in my EWS email :/
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@Luhmann said in The Official Status Thread:
This. Or use the text to columns option.
Sure. That's what I do, if I bother--I'm not concerned with undisplayed leading zeroes, myself.
But as I was saying, good luck training your users to remember that.
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@FrostCat said in The Official Status Thread:
But as I was saying, good luck training your users to remember that.
Users can't be trained. Every time they buy a new car, they need to take driving lessons.
File under: Average intelligence is f***in stupid.
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@TimeBandit said in The Official Status Thread:
Users can't be trained. Every time they buy a new car, they need to take driving lessons.
I like your optimism. You wanna come work at my company as a trainer/helpdesk tech for six months?
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@FrostCat said in The Official Status Thread:
I like your optimism. You wanna come work at my company as a trainer/helpdesk tech for six months?
If you make me work at helpdesk, it will take less than six month before I strangle somebody.
And since Texas is known to enforce death penalty a lot, I think I will decline the offer.Thanks anyway.
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@Jaloopa said in The Official Status Thread:
@Maciejasjmj they just didn't want you doing them
But just think how much more
-y they'll be with someone else doing them.
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@TimeBandit wait until they put a plane UI on cars because they want you to buy their planes.
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@TimeBandit said in The Official Status Thread:
If you make me work at helpdesk, it will take less than six month before I strangle somebody.
Why? You seem to think people can be trained!
:)
@TimeBandit said in The Official Status Thread:
And since Texas is known to enforce death penalty a lot, I think I will decline the offer.
You could work in our New Jersey office, or try the "he needed killing" defense. :)
I'm actually being a bit unfair to my user base. While many of them are about as sharp as a sack of wet mice, there's really only a couple who are...well, trouble is too strong a word.
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@FrostCat said in The Official Status Thread:
Why? You seem to think people can be trained!
:)
Yes, they can.
It's just that with a lot of them, you need to apply more of this
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@TimeBandit said in The Official Status Thread:
It's just that with a lot of them, you need to apply more of this
I've found letting them push rope is more effective. You find a polite way to say "call me back when you're done wasting time doing something I told you not to do and are ready to start listening." I've only got one person, actually, who I had to do that to more than once.
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@FrostCat I mainly support teachers.
And teachers being teachers, they tend to think they can't be taught.
Edit: Using proper english, as per Jaloopa's comment.
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@TimeBandit said in The Official Status Thread:
And teachers being teachers, they tend to think they can't be teached
they tend to know the word "taught", though, so there's that
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Status: 4:45pm, most people leave as soon as it hits 5. New email
Subject: URGENT: Re: FW: URGENT Fwd: FW: FW: Re: website changes
Hi,
Just left you a message...
We need the max characters for each field on the {reporting system}- are you able to get that this afternoon?
Thanks,
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@TimeBandit said in The Official Status Thread:
And teachers being teachers, they tend to think they can't be teached
"Even a flatworm turns from pain." Usually, anyway. As I said, letting people push rope usually works better than trying to convince them myself that they're wrong.
If they want to keep doing things the hard way and it doesn't take up my time, they are welcome to, but I won't support whatever: I did have to tell one customer once that he could do a particular thing the wrong way but I wasn't going to help him do it. Once he realized his "time saver" was taking significantly more time and effort than doing things the right way, he went back and did it the right way.
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@FrostCat it wasn't actually addressed to me, I was just CCed. I suspect the other guy has already left though and me being a mug has answered asking for the specific information he needs
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STATUS:
Friday, 6PM. After chasing the IMPORTANT CLIENTS for weeks, Boss finally got them down for a meeting to flesh out their special requirements. Doing a favour on my day off, I'm sitting in as a technical consultant.
Me: In conclusion, we will need to do some special coding to support your requirements. Some custom browser code, and probably a whole new backend service to store the data.
Clients: That's fine.
Boss: Great! Then we are all set. BTW, when do you plan on launching the product?
Clients: We were thinking Monday.
... silence ...
Me: You... you mean, next Monday, a week from now?
Clients: No, no. We are scheduled for this Monday. Lunch time.
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@cartman82 said in The Official Status Thread:
STATUS:
Friday, 6PM. After chasing the IMPORTANT CLIENTS for weeks, Boss finally got them down for a meeting to flesh out their special requirements. Doing a favour on my day off, I'm sitting in as a technical consultant.
Me: In conclusion, we will need to do some special coding to support your requirements. Some custom browser code, and probably a whole new backend service to store the data.
Clients: That's fine.
Boss: Great! Then we are all set. BTW, when do you plan on launching the product?
Clients: We were thinking Monday.
... silence ...
Me: You... you mean, next Monday, a week from now?
Clients: No, no. We are scheduled for this Monday. Lunch time.
Triple overtime weekend rate?
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@DogsB said in The Official Status Thread:
Triple overtime weekend rate?
We don't even have normal overtime rate.
Besides, money's never worth it. I was like, "good luck boss".
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Status: Guess what happens when you put a bag upside down in the freezer?/
If you guessed, "The poor sap that goes to pick it up next time gets a boatload of food all over the floor!" You'd be right!
Sometimes, I feel for those that just want to watch the world burn...
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I sent a message to the bank, and their reply started with "Good morning Mrs. Franco".
I'm not Mrs. Franco wtf
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@anonymous234 said in The Official Status Thread:
I'm not Mrs. Franco wtf
OK, the emails from Nigeria get stuff wrong sometimes. You've just gotta go with it - how else are you gonna get the USD $4,00 million they're offering?
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I'm about as novice as it gets in the kitchen, but I've been watching cooking shows all week.
Decided to try my hand at a roulade:
Original recipe. Beef milanese stuffed with whipped cream cheese, sour cream, roasted poblanos, baby spinach, diced red onion, salt, black and cayenne pepper, and paprika.
I'm hoping it comes out spicy. Tasted the mix and it should deliver!
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@error Looks pretty good! Should post it to the cooking thread.
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@error said in The Official Status Thread:
I'm about as novice as it gets in the kitchen, but I've been watching cooking shows all week.
Decided to try my hand at a roulade:
Original recipe. Beef milanese stuffed with whipped cream cheese, sour cream, roasted poblanos, baby spinach, diced red onion, salt, black and cayenne pepper, and paprika.
I'm hoping it comes out spicy. Tasted the mix and it should deliver!
I approve.
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@DogsB said in The Official Status Thread:
Triple overtime weekend rate?
no. if they want it done on time they have to give @cartman82 his own private jet, a pilot to fly and free maintenance and fule for life.
oh and the plane has to be full to maximum carry capacity with solid gold bars when it's delivered.
because those clients are fucking insane, so you might as well may them pay for their insanity.
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Status: this day was 100 percent wasted.
How hard could it be to configure a standard Lubuntu desktop to support rdp? Not hard, right? Just
apt-get install xrdp
and be done, right??!?!?!Sure, if you want a broken installation that merely says "No such file or directory"!
And the latest sources? Yeah. No dice there either. Gagh!
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Status: there is this girl 3 rooms away with annoyingly loud laughs, and worse it seems many others like to gather in front of her office just to chitchat and laugh for hours in the day. Fortunately am moving to another room :--)
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@dse said in The Official Status Thread:
Status: there is this girl 3 rooms away with annoyingly loud laughs, and worse it seems many others like to gather in front of her office just to chitchat and laugh for hours in the day. Fortunately am moving to another room :--)
There's someone like that in the office. Fortunately I can only hear her during lunch breaks, and I tend to be on earphones at that point.
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Status: Holy crap, a story I thought was on permanent hiatus just updated! I think it's been a little more than two years since the last "I'm trying to write" update, and this thing is ten years old, but darn it if I'm not excited as fsck!
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
Status: Holy crap, a story I thought was on permanent hiatus just updated! I think it's been a little more than two years since the last "I'm trying to write" update, and this thing is ten years old, but darn it if I'm not excited as fsck!
So......... what story?
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@error said in The Official Status Thread:
Original recipe. Beef milanese stuffed with whipped cream cheese, sour cream, roasted poblanos, baby spinach, diced red onion, salt, black and cayenne pepper, and paprika.
I'm hoping it comes out spicy. Tasted the mix and it should deliver!The fact you didn't post an update tells me you screwed up.
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@Tsaukpaetra My immediate thought on reading this was to check Ellen Hayes' writing page to see if you were talking about Saga of Tuck. Damn, no such luck.
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@cartman82 said in The Official Status Thread:
@error said in The Official Status Thread:
Original recipe. Beef milanese stuffed with whipped cream cheese, sour cream, roasted poblanos, baby spinach, diced red onion, salt, black and cayenne pepper, and paprika.
I'm hoping it comes out spicy. Tasted the mix and it should deliver!The fact you didn't post an update tells me you screwed up.
It didn't come out pretty but it tasted delicious.
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@Lorne-Kates said in The Official Status Thread:
There's someone like that in the office. Fortunately I can only hear her during lunch breaks, and I tend to be on earphones at that point.
You have grown soft since the little one arrived! What? no murders any more?
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Status: vacation virus
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@dse said in The Official Status Thread:
@Lorne-Kates said in The Official Status Thread:
There's someone like that in the office. Fortunately I can only hear her during lunch breaks, and I tend to be on earphones at that point.
You have grown soft since the little one arrived! What? no murders any more?
Well, jail time
good parenting, and killing all the witnesses can get inconvenient so....
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@cartman82 said in The Official Status Thread:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
Status: Holy crap, a story I thought was on permanent hiatus just updated! I think it's been a little more than two years since the last "I'm trying to write" update, and this thing is ten years old, but darn it if I'm not excited as fsck!
So......... what story?
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2987606/1/Tales-Of-Flame
@ScholRLEA said in The Official Status Thread:
@Tsaukpaetra My immediate thought on reading this was to check Ellen Hayes' writing page to see if you were talking about Saga of Tuck. Damn, no such luck.
Yeah sorry, there's way too much material out there for a collision like that to occur.
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Status: Oh shit I need a charger!
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Status: compiling X I guess....
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Status: Counterfeit Monkey is harder than expected. But fun.
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@dse said in The Official Status Thread:
@Lorne-Kates said in The Official Status Thread:
There's someone like that in the office. Fortunately I can only hear her during lunch breaks, and I tend to be on earphones at that point.
You have grown soft since the little one arrived! What? no murders any more?
It's an "actual she" not "trans-she", so it's a grey area.
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@Lorne-Kates said in The Official Status Thread:
It's an "actual she" not "trans-she", so it's a grey area.
Away off with ye to the
or microaggressions thread!