🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
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"African pastor releases demons from pregnant woman."
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Well he sure killed the "demon" inside her :-|
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Taking the term "black eye" a little too literally
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this is the outcome.
They turned her into that acrobat chick from Blade Runner?
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I love how the article ends with "here are some other crimes committed by imaginary black people!"
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Bad idea: you reading this post if you've already recently started reading a webcomic I mentioned recently, because here's another one I forgot about until now. It's one where superheroes have just been discovered, and it's genre-savvy.
grrlpowercomic.com
I suspect most people will either find it funny or too obvious. I'm curious what, if anything, @blakeyrat and @accalia will think of it. I expect @hardwaregeek will take a while to get around to reading it.
Can we find it horrible? Because God, it is horrible. Those three panels are actually the high point of the comic as far as humor is concerned. Other than that, it's "zany nerdy girl webcomic #5234" meets "we're genre savvy which means we'll play all the tropes straight and once in a while laugh about how stupid what we're doing it comic #641" meets outdated meme references meets horrible, horrible art style meets the author actually having to explain himself under the comic.
This comic is probably a good example of how not to write for sequential art.
Well, how about not posting it if you know it's shit? Jesus. It's like cancer of webcomics.
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Well you have been warned.
Also AFAIR you already got cancer while watching Insurrection, so I guess it can't get any worse...
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So far I looked at the first page, which is some dude floating in a white void talking to some chick floating in a grey void, and there's some kind of punchline about photons which doesn't make any sense because it's a cold-open and we know nothing about this universe or how superpowers work.
Also, right on the first page the strip is bizarrely racist against Germans.
Zorch.
The guy's a Gold Digger fan, that does not bode well.
Pages like 5-10 are all meta-bullshit, including a camera-glance that made me want to puke. Ok this thing is only good for making fun of. But it's too wordy even for that.
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Here is the image that @cartman82 was pointing to for those without access to imgur:
@Ocean County Prosecutor's Office said:
Please folks - this cell phone case is not a cool product or a good idea. A police officers job is hard enough, without having to make a split second decision in the dark of night when someone decides without thinking to pull this out while stopped for a motor vehicle violation. What do you think?
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German is a race? TIL.
I think when you call someone "kraut" with the intention of insulting them (purely due to their accent), that counts as racist. Well, if it's not racism, what is it? Why would you judge someone based on them having a German accent?
Either way it's a pretty shitty thing to see on literally the first page of a comic.
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Well, if it's not racism, what is it
Languagism.
also known as "being 'murican"
Why would you judge someone based on them having a German accent?
fuck if i know. A German accent is the third sexiest accent there is!
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also known as "being 'murican"
No, hating Germans is not an American trait since 1945.
You don't realize how the US works. The reason we're so successful is that when we fight someone in a war, we make friends with them right afterwards and spend millions/billions of dollars rebuilding the country that they forced us to destroy. It's like a long-term diplomatic investment, and a hugely successful one.
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No, hating Germans is not an American trait since 1945.
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aaaaaand joke failed.
that used to be a hilarious joke.
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Well, if it's not racism, what is it?
Nationalism? I guess.
Either way it's a pretty shitty thing to see on literally the first page of a comic.
Well it's not an overly sensitive comic. And not in a cool, "screw-the-rules-we're-inappropriate" South Park or something style. Just... embarassingly lacking social skills.
A German accent is the third sexiest accent there is!
JA JAAAAA, ICH MÖCHTE DEINE KNACKWURST ZUREITEN! German is many things, but it's about as sexy and poetic as Klingon.
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that used to be a hilarious joke.
"Americans are prejudiced! What a hilarious joke!"
JA JAAAAA, ICH MÖCHTE DEINE KNACKWURST ZUREITEN! German is many things, but it's about as sexy and poetic as Klingon.
Maybe being constantly covered in spittle is her fetish.
YOU DON'T KNOW.
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German is many things, but it's about as sexy and poetic as Klingon.
keep speaking like that! Please do!you'll also note that i said "German accent" not "speaking German". it's a small difference, but an important one i feel.
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A German accent is the third sexiest accent there is!
Third sexiest after American and Not American?
See, I can do Murica jokes too
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A German accent is the third sexiest accent there is!
Only if
AUFMACHEN! SCHNELL! RAUS! PAPIEREN!or
"Oh Hans mit deinen grosse Schwanz fik mir im Arsch"is your thing.
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A German accent is the third sexiest accent there is!
Which German accent? Bavarian? Saxon? That horrible thing from round Berlin?
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i don't follow....
Me neither because "belgium" is not a language. We have Dutch, French or German.
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keep speaking like that! Please do!
Somehow, zureiting your Knackwurst is not on my list of things to do today.
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Third sexiest after American and Not American?
See, I can do Murica jokes too
Which American accent? We have at least four or five major ones...
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I know nothing! Nothing!
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Around certain people (Mostly my sister, since she's definitely seen that show), I sometimes use the left guy's name as an expression of having no knowledge of the current problem domain.
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Ok this thing is only good for making fun of. But it's too wordy even for that.
Oh, I can do this all day. And I will, because I suffered yesterday through the whole run hoping that maybe, maybe the author will have the decency to cut through the bullshit and kick off a story. (Spoiler: he... kinda does? But very, very, very slowly).
First of all: the main character. Urk. Far too batshit insane to be an audience avatar, and the story is mostly centered on her, but so far, she's pretty completely useless. Also, again, batshit insane. All that being said, if you find "people doing stupid things for 300 pages of a webcomic" amusing, it might not be a fatal flaw, but...
...but then you get the supporting cast, and that's where things go downhill. There's little to no character in them - just a sliding scale of how zany or not-zany they are. The comic book guy? Not zany at all. The gold skinned woman? Only occasionally zany. The succubus? Totally zany. That's pretty much all there is to them. Oh, and the succubus likes to fuck, so I guess that's some deep personality shit over there.
The pacing... isn't there. There's just no such thing. The comic is through 300 pages, and so far we've suffered through a long-ass introduction via the comic shop, a longer-ass introduction via the superhero military agency (including like 20 pages of a press conference. Because when you think "superhero comics", you think "PR agencies doing press conferences".), some shots of the supposed main villain, a 100-page superhero battle (yes. A 100-bloody-page battle. There are comics that had shorter runs than this), and currently ongoing training sequence. At this rate, we'll get to the point somewhere in the year 2050.
Oh, and that superhero battle? Let's just throw like 30 villains at'em, so that we make sure we run out of ideas in the first action scene!
Also in the pacing department - there's a recurring feature where the characters explain plotholes and provide expospeak. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. Also all those segments are drawn in the small-people style (chibi, I think they call it), for... reasons.
Which brings us to the art department. Which sucks. It's obviously a spoof (and I use that word very loosely here) of Western superhero comics, and it stays in that for like half of the time. Then it will suddenly throw the exagerrated animesque stuff and little cutesy talking heads just because KAWAIIIII, I guess? Also, drawing faces is not the author's strong suit anyway, no matter the style.
And then there's the under-comic blurbs. By God. Who on Earth thinks that people reading their comic need a fucking explanation about how "panel 4 estabilishes this-or-this character's trait, then panel 5 looks out-of-whack but actually makes sense because reasons, and in panel 6 I botched drawing a face but it looks okay"? JESUS CHRIST SHOW DON'T TELL!
And you might think "oh well, but it's a parody of the genre, so there's no need to hold it up to the standards". Well there's the point, it's not a parody, no matter how hard it tries to be. Poking fun at the tropes doesn't work if you play them straight a minute later. Case in point - the main character's powers have a literal level-up tree. In-universe. You literally pick a skill point and place it on the holographic rendering of a Path of Exile-style (oh by the way, it gets a shout-out under the comic, because nobody would get it) skill tree. And aside from one poking-fun-if-you-squint-your-eyes backhanded comment, it's played totally fucking straight. It's not a parody. Not by a million years.
So how does it hold up as a superhero comic? Badly. The superpowers are run-of-the-mill and mostly lame (well okay, the bilocating chick is cool, but it ends up having to be explained so many times to make sense that it's not worth it), the humor is hardly funny and borderline offensive at times, the main character has seven powers out of which two are not explained probably until the author makes some shit up, everybody's hot about the truesight power that hardly does anything, the rogue gallery got an asskicking all at once in the single battle so far, the villain that gets his powers from getting his ass kicked is defeated by a cunning plan of having his ass kicked but more, and OH MY GOD THE MEMES PLEASE CAN SOMEBODY STOP THE MEMES.
So... I don't recommend it, I guess.
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Oh, I can do this all day. And I will, because I suffered yesterday through the whole run hoping that maybe, maybe the author will have the decency to cut through the bullshit and kick off a story. (Spoiler: he... kinda does? But very, very, very slowly).
Jesus.
Oh, and the succubus likes to fuck, so I guess that's some deep personality shit over there.
Is she the purple one? I liked her character design at least. Clicked through to her character bio, then got confused with it and gave up. She's like a succubus but also an alien but she's also mixed genes with some other aliens and then there's magic? And she has a cybernetic arm, but huh...?
some shots of the supposed main villain, a 100-page superhero battle (yes. A 100-bloody-page battle. There are comics that had shorter runs than this),
Haha. DC and Marvel have had entire "event" comics shorter than that.
Which brings us to the art department. Which sucks.
I enjoyed, oh wait, let me find it...
This panel.
I dare you, you being anybody viewing that, to explain what the FUCK is going on with that guy's face.
(And hands, now that I look at it again.)
(well okay, the bilocating chick is cool, but it ends up having to be explained so many times to make sense that it's not worth it),
I read her bio too, and while it's an interesting superpower, it's got to be nearly IMPOSSIBLE to tell a coherent story with.
Ok so there's this chick who's up to 5 chicks. And all of them are shapeshifters, so they can look like anybody. And also all 5 of them can teleport. But they're a hive-mind, so it's just one person. (And note it's "up to 5", there could just be one or two.)
Great, so now you're telling a story using that power-set that isn't confusing as all shit. Impossible. Can't be done.
I mean there have been superheroes before who are multiple people, but at least they all look the same and stay in the same place. There have been superheroes before who teleport, but at least there's only one of them. There have been superheroes who shape-shift, but, again, only one per story. Combining the three into a single ("single") character is an AWFUL idea.
Remember A Fire Upon the Deep and how the small packs of wolves were single hive-minds and referred to as individuals and how fucking confusing that was? Now imagine they could both teleport and shape-shift in addition.
It's no wonder he needs to constantly attempt to explain it.
the humor is hardly funny and borderline offensive at times,
Depends on how much you hate Germans.
the villain that gets his powers from getting his ass kicked is defeated by a cunning plan of having his ass kicked but more,
That sounds like it could be ... potentially funny?
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the villain that gets his powers from getting his ass kicked
Oh, so like Onepunch-man!
defeated by a cunning plan of having his ass kicked but more
Or not. Laaaaaaame!
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Is she the purple one? I liked her character design at least. Clicked through to her character bio, then got confused with it and gave up. She's like a succubus but also an alien but she's also mixed genes with some other aliens and then there's magic? And she has a cybernetic arm, but huh...?
Yeah. On all counts, I guess.
The character design for her is not bad, and as for the bio, I think you've just gotta learn to roll with all the asspulls. Apparently she's a demon alien with magic sword and super secret tech. Or someshit.
Great, so now you're telling a story using that power-set that isn't confusing as all shit. Impossible. Can't be done.
Not done. Although you'll learn that it's a hive mind and not separate personalities and she can sometimes feel in one body what the other is feeling but not always and has a visually-limited-but-not-to-the-moon teleporting range like 20 times throughout the story.
But anything remotely coherent? Nope. Quite a bunch of cheap gags, though.
(also, you're assuming the characters here have stories. Not the case).
Depends on how much you hate Germans.
Also women. Also men. Also the entire human race.
That sounds like it could be ... potentially funny?
If they bothered to make a joke of it, yeah. Instead it's "oh no he's explained that attacking him makes him stronger! Well, I guess he does have some threshold, so if we all pile up..."
Or, in words of the author:
So yeah, Sydney’s plan ultimately boils down to “choke him out” which isn’t tremendously imaginative, but she did have to jump through quite a few hoops to get there first.
"The hoops" meaning "having the previous attack fail to work", obviously.
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Apparently she's a demon alien
That raises so many questions. The biggest being: are aliens Christians?
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are aliens Christians?
Well, according to Signs, it would be rather hard to baptize them. So I guess not.
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A German accent is the third sexiest accent there is!
German is many things, but it's about as sexy and poetic as Klingon.
Ok, Klingon is 2nd. What's first?
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no, i don't think so...
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You can't pick and choose, you either get NO Connery or ALL Connery.
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who said anything about it being connery‽
if we were talking about the man i would have posted this:
i was not talking about the man, i was talking about his portrayal of a certain fictional character. that's why i posted this:
https://what.thedailywtf.com/uploads/default/original/3X/5/5/5520008c498f9440ab73bd54df74de947715cb7d.png
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I wanted 1) to find a photo of Timothy Dalton, and 2) to confirm that everybody else agrees he was by far the worst bond actor.
Killed two birds with one search.
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Yes, but he's the best Rassilon.
Also, 4m tall mecha battle contests:
RESPONSE TO ROBOT DUEL CHALLENGE. – 01:07
— 水道橋重工
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Which German accent? Bavarian? Saxon? That horrible thing from round Berlin?
That reminds me of the first Baldur's Gate where they chose Saxonian (IIRC) guys for the German voices. Presumably because the guy in charge found it hilarious.
Yeah, there's nothing more fun when your supposedly intelligent mage sounds like an inbred hillbilly. Or your noble Paladin goes: "Howdy y'all!"
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I dare you, you being anybody viewing that, to explain what the FUCK is going on with that guy's face.
It's simple. His mouth is where his chin should be. Why? No, I can't explain that.
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That reminds me of the first Baldur's Gate where they chose Saxonian (IIRC) guys for the German voices. Presumably because the guy in charge found it hilarious.
Yeah, there's nothing more fun when your supposedly intelligent mage sounds like an inbred hillbilly. Or your noble Paladin goes: "Howdy y'all!"
Donizetti (composer of Lucia di Lammermoor, etc)was apparently enthralled by all things British, which explains why he wrote Emilia di Liverpool. And perhaps we can excuse his geographic flubs like having one character flee to the mountains just outside the city (?). But he wrote one character to sing his part in a Tuscan accent as comic relief, that apparently being the Italian counterpart to Scouse.
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