The Official Status Thread

blakeyrat

Status:

[img]http://images.akamai.steamusercontent.com/ugc/397803283817793184/3B0E522C81270C7C1AC202F0A866EC831174FD44/[/img]

gamebryo.png

EDIT: wow he stayed up there even when I got close, usually they fall down:

[img]http://images.akamai.steamusercontent.com/ugc/397803283817920728/CDD2F9FDF4A9547F72C333BADB4A61A2222168E1/[/img]

ben_lubar

Status: Okay, maybe that one was too hard. Let's go back to descriptions I write:

Instead of talking about fears, let's do something fun!

[poll name="fear"]

steal explosives from the evil space midgets
put on power armor and help a space midget kill a fire elemental
rescue a team of soldiers from a volcano
take hallucinogenic drugs and try to find the long-dead body of the person who just sent me on this quest
be captured by snake terrorists and then murder them
intercept a shipment of a blue ball (just one) from the snake terrorists
[/poll]

We need to kill a giant floating eyeball zombie.

[poll name="eye"]

lure it with a magic mirror and then stab it in the... eye
go to where the eye lives and murder it
[/poll]

Now there's a giant zombie with a mouth between his ribcage and his hips.

[poll name="mouth"]

get invited to a dinner party at its house and then murder it and one of your friends
shoot cannons at the ship its food is being delivered by and then murder it
[/poll]

How do we stop there from being more zombies?

[poll name="zombies"]

sink the ship that is delivering raw materials to the zombie making place
go to the place where they're making zombies and then purify it with magic
[/poll]

I spent my entire budget on the answers to this question, so there's no question.

[poll name="plan"]

find a squad of soldiers who are being assassinated right now. then, use the same weapon that the charr used to kill all the Ascalonian humans to kill zombies. also a plane crashes into something at some point and the pilot dies.
extinguish a lighthouse that has a wizard who throws spiders at you in it. then team up with two space midgets and three humans to steal boats from zombie frogs. use the boats to blow up zombie housing. one of the space midgets dies.
team up with talking vegetables with sniper rifles to kill some giants. get some tanks and bring them through enemy terrain. at some point one of the girl talking vegetables gets exploded by a friendly tank. kill a bunch of zombies because why not.
[/poll]

We need to find directions to someone's house so we can clean their swimming pool.

[poll name="source"]

go ask a priest at a church. the priest has been dead for a thousand years.
go ask a pirate for his map. the pirate has been dead for a thousand years.
[/poll]

Tsaukpaetra

All of your polls suck!
...
...
Did I just channel Blakey?!?!

FrostCat

@Tsaukpaetra said:

All of your polls suck!

But if you show results before clicking, you can pick an answer that hasn't already been picked!

Or if you're not me, you can attempt to balance out all the options.

ben_lubar

Or you can vote for the answer you think is best if you want to anger @FrostCat by using a poll correctly.

Dreikin

Or you can vote for the answer that seems most like it should be featured on thedailyadventurerwtf.com

FrostCat

@ben_lubar said:

anger @FrostCat

Why would you think that would make me angry?

Spanky587

@ben_lubar said:

"i think i installed too many jars install less jars fixed it",

Install less jars. Always the best answer.

dkf

@ben_lubar said:

Trying to figure out why some JVM bytecode I generated is giving me a VerifyError only when I run it and not when I ask the bytecode generator library to verify it.

It's probably a versioning problem. Different versions of bytecode have different verifiers applied to them; there was at least a change from Java 6 to 7 and that meant I had to upgrade the bytecode generator library (asm) to handle that difference when I was porting my code. (In turn, that meant I had to upgrade a bunch of other libraries too because it wasn't a direct dependency and stuff gets complicated sometimes.)

I don't know if there was a similar change from 7 to 8, but it is worth making sure that the version you are using is able to generate for the JVM you're running in.

Rhywden

Status: Just found another scammy crowdfunder.

E-paper sneakers change your style on the fly

If you're the sort to buy multiple pairs of sneakers just to make sure your footwear is always fashionable, you might soon have a way to save a lot of money. David Coelho is crowdfunding ShiftWear, or sneakers that have color e-paper displays in their sides. You only need a mobile app to change...

Let's see: No working prototype, the money asked for is on the laughable side for something like this, the demo animation doesn't look anything like actual e-paper looks like, flexible e-paper does not really exist yet outside laboratories and where did they put the electronics plus energy source?

Oh, and did I mention that they're using colored e-ink displays?

Mikael_Svahnberg

The smarthub on my TV nagged me that it was going to update, and after the update it started showing ads for some randomplugin that I had never installed nor wanted to install. i had to dig out the remote to get my screen back (the banner ran over the top 15-20% of the screen).

Status: found a setting so that the smarthub does not boot automatically on power on. It seems like the TV is starting several seconds faster now.

@NeighborhoodButcher, @Eldelshell : sorry to do so with your livelihood. I really wanted to give it a try, but it wasn't for me.

loopback0

Mine has decided all by itself to boot straight into TV rather than SmartHub. I'm not upset by this.
The only thing I use the SmartHub for is launching Plex anyway.

ben_lubar

Status: Episode 17

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKUskGZqR5k

Polygeekery

@Tsaukpaetra said:

Nice. I especially like the "Maybe I have too much crap in this thing, and taking stuff out helped."

Basically, "I tried 18,000 things, and this was the last one, and now it seems to work, and I have NFC why".

Rhywden

I just had a lookover of their IndieGogo page. Yeesh.

But what really took the cake - the later stretch goals.

I mean, those guys have to be trolling people. Because, "waterproof speakers"? "Touch-enabled screen"?

In a goddamn shoe? Okay, they at least didn't add "LTE capable" but what series had the hero use his shoe as a telephone again?

dkf

@Rhywden said:

what series had the hero use his shoe as a telephone again?

It was certainly a device used in this one, but I forget which book. (I read it a very long time ago, and not in a language I spoke at the time.)

Spike and Suzy - Wikipedia

Fox

That mission would've been so much more interesting if you'd gone Whispers, you know.

ben_lubar

The mission where I play a minigame for three minutes and then fight a bunch of enemies that have massively overpowered turrets backing them up? No thanks.

Fox

Yeah, the mission where you're given a skimpy pirate outfit by a lovable madman of a partner and engage in a drinking contest with pirates for a while, then go cause mayhem and destruction amidst explosions until you Rescue The Princess™.

dse

The idea is to sell something that does not exist and then have enough funds to make it. The problem is when done by people who do not know technology it will turn out to be a scam even if the intention is not.

M_Adams

@FrostCat said:

Now I just tell people about it and urge them to not buy HP because they won't stand by their products.

This.

I don't know if they've fixed their manufacturing processes or not, they lost me FOREVER as a customer due to the dodgy practice of "float soldering" the GPUs in their laptops.

Four, Four! laptops (two different models, and all with difference mfr dates) had the issue where you use the laptop for a while, power it down, put it in your briefcase, rinse, repeat and then after a period of time — the laptop will no longer boot as all the f*king solder has flowed away from the GPU pins.

HP response... Not covered under mfr warranty...
Fuck HP.

loopback0

Status:

Going well, Discourse...

@M_Adams is back... coincidence?

ben_lubar

Do you exclusively play fetish characters or something? I've never had a skimpy pirate outfit in all the times I've done that quest.

Fox

Charr (males, at least) get stripped down to their underwear, a barely-there pirate shirt, and bright red boots.

M_Adams

Hmm...

Just did some profiling in Chrome...

Wonder if it was this user script? Turned it off and page load times dropped tremendously ( I'm keeping it off BTW )...

// ==UserScript==
// @name        TDWTF - Show user stats
// @namespace   TDWTF
// @description Shows post count and unique badge count for users below their avatar
// @match       http://what.thedailywtf.com/*
// @include     http://what.thedailywtf.com/*
// @match       https://what.thedailywtf.com/*
// @include     https://what.thedailywtf.com/*
// @version     1
// @grant       none
// ==/UserScript==

// http://what.thedailywtf.com/t/doing-it-wrong-userscripts-user-info/1795

Ember.View.reopen({
    didInsertElement: function () {
        this._super();
        Ember.run.scheduleOnce('afterRender', this, this.insertUserStats);
    },
    insertUserStats: function () {
    }
});
Discourse.View.reopen({
    insertUserStats: function () {
        // This thing triggers for any render, so we check if a post has been rendered
        if (this.post) {
            // Get post ID
            var postID = this.post.post_number;
            // Get user name
            var username = this.post.username;
            // Initialize count variables
            var postCount = 0;
            var badgeCount = 0;
            var userDataJsonUrl = 'https://what.thedailywtf.com/users/' + username + '.json';
            $.get(userDataJsonUrl) .done(function (data) {
                if (data.user) {
                    badgeCount = data.user.badge_count;
                    for (var i in data.user.stats) {
                        if (data.user.stats.hasOwnProperty(i)) {
                            // Security through obscurity!
                            if (data.user.stats[i].action_type === 5) {
                                postCount = data.user.stats[i].count;
                            }
                        }
                    }
                    $('.tdwtf-post-count[data-username="' + data.user.username + '"]') .html(postCount);
                    $('.tdwtf-badge-count[data-username="' + data.user.username + '"]') .html(badgeCount);
                }
            });
            // Find avatar area for the post
            var avatarArea = $('article[id="post_' + postID + '"]') .children('.row') .children('.topic-avatar');
            // Check if the container has already been appended
            if (avatarArea.children('.tdwtf-user-stats') .length == 0) {
                // Append stats elements
                avatarArea.append('<span class="tdwtf-user-stats" data-username="' + username + '" style="font: normal normal 400 10px Arial; color: black;"><i class="fa fa-envelope"></i>&nbsp;<span class="tdwtf-post-count" data-username="' + username + '">' + postCount + '</span><br><i class="fa fa-certificate"></i>&nbsp;<span class="tdwtf-badge-count" data-username="' + username + '">' + badgeCount + '</span>');
            }
        }
    }
});

loopback0

@M_Adams said:

Wonder if it was this user script?

Ah... that's been related to Cooties™ before.

On less shit forum software it wouldn't be a problem, but... well... Discourse.

M_Adams

I think this request here:@M_Adams said:

```javascript
var userDataJsonUrl = 'https://what.thedailywtf.com/users/' + username + '.json';
$.get(userDataJsonUrl) .done(function (data) {
probably "hammers" the DB to get the info since it seems materialized views and indexes (indices??) are relatively unknown to DiscoDevs...

ben_lubar

Could you rewrite it to cache those for a while? I can picture a request for all of a user's posts that happens every time you view one of a user's posts might take a lot of resources.

M_Adams

@ben_lubar said:

Could you rewrite it to cache those for a while?

If'n I gets enough 'Tuits... should be relatively easy, but well, it was just a "cool" hack so it's low on the totem pole.
I'll just leave the script "Off" for now.

aliceif

Shoe phone - Wikipedia

I remember having seen posters for the movie based on it. Never saw it nor the series, though.

aliceif

Yeah. @sam told me to turn it off when me using it caused MASSIVE COOTIES.

Filed under: [922](#922)

Onyx

@ben_lubar said:

Could you rewrite it to cache those for a while?

Pffft! That's work!

@M_Adams said:

it was just a "cool" hack so it's low on the totem pole.

Luhmann

It took me a while before I realized you mentioned suske en wiske. There definitely was a phone shoe in there:

http://www.stripspeciaalzaak.be/beelden/Toppers/WillyVandersteen/albums/89_SW86_weetje.jpg

Left shoe Lambik (bold guy named after a type of beer) too right shoe Jerom (the character that inspired BA)

M_Adams

Awww... don't be sad! I still loves it!

cartman82

STATUS: After an embarrassingly long time, finally published a new actually useful (if tiny) project on github.

Now to sit back and wait for the stars and fame to start pouring in.

Tsaukpaetra

@M_Adams said:

due to the dodgy practice of "float soldering" the GPUs in their laptops.

1,000 this! Though at least
@M_Adams said:

the laptop will no longer boot as all the fking solder has flowed away from the GPU pins.

My tx1000 tablet currently boots ~1/21 times (Yes, there's a little trick to getting it started), and once it does you're mostly OK, unless the graphics card is ever re-initialized. Thenceforth the display is perfectly f'ed up until cold booted (in the special way mentioned above), but if you're Okay working headless it's not too bad.

I use it as a micro space heater for my feet.

ben_lubar

https://github.com/cartman82

?

ben_lubar

Status: Finally got letsencrypt to not corrupt my nginx config when I run it. Ready for the beta on the 3rd.

cartman82

thecartman82 - Overview

thecartman82 has 5 repositories available. Follow their code on GitHub.

But that is just for the TDWTF stuff.

I like to keep my real projects in a more professional account, that I can share on LinkedIn, BDSM forums and other less embarrassing places.

Tsaukpaetra

Status: Relatively upset at my co-students. Apparently their expectation is that the Labs will hand-hold you through creating the Visual Basic programs such as Calculator and Memory Helper (an extremely simple "database" holding four elements per record), despite them obviously only really providing starting points and tips (where you're supposed to, I don't know, write your own code to do it?!).

Of course, most people are also trying to do everything the day before it's due, despite having three weeks to do it, and asking (a little) for help in the discussion forums, providing little except for cryptic text like:

Like, what were you expecting it to do? So it makes a string (And you're missing some parenthesis, by the way), but what are you doing with it? Nothing? Oh, well that's why the compiler is yelling at you!

Oh, and just an hour ago (starting the discussion for this week about abusing an actual Access Database to essentially hold the same contents of the memory helper "database" mentioned above), I see this comment:

Note: Never underestimate the power of MS Access. I've done work for Fortune 500 companies that still rely on systems driven by an Access '95 database and a Visual Basic front end.

Never underestimate the POWER of MS Access?! WHAT!?!?!
Can someone rescue me? I think I'm trapped in a very uncomfortable place and need help!

aliceif

@cartman82 said:

that I can share on LinkedIn, BDSM forums and other less embarrassing places.

What about furaffinity? More or less embarrassing?

aliceif

@Tsaukpaetra said:

Never underestimate the POWER of MS Access?! WHAT!?!?!

MS Access + .NET is still potentially better than Excel + VBA ...

locallunatic

@Tsaukpaetra said:

> Note: Never underestimate the power of MS Access. I've done work for Fortune 500 companies that still rely on systems driven by an Access '95 database and a Visual Basic front end.

Never underestimate the POWER of MS Access?! WHAT!?!?!

It is used to do things in shoddy hard to support ways, but it works. "Used to get shit done" is the ultimate measuring stick for power, as a dev you should know this.

blakeyrat

@Tsaukpaetra said:

My tx1000 tablet

I bought one of those. Hated it. Never will touch a HP again.

blakeyrat

@Tsaukpaetra said:

Never underestimate the POWER of MS Access?!

People who would never have, in a million years, been able to figure out how to build a Windows application in C++ have built quite amazing things in Access.

That is power.

Whether you think so or not.

Jarry

@Tsaukpaetra said:

I'm trapped in a very uncomfortable place

like, the back of a volkswagen?

Filed Under: not enough wooshing lately

Lorne Kates

@M_Adams said:

https://what.thedailywtf.com/users/' + username + '.json

Wow, that's some good shit right there.

https://what.thedailywtf.com/users/blakeyrat.json
Response time: 13.81s
Payload received: 1.1kb

That's a whoppin' 80 bytes per second! I'm pretty sure it would have been quicker for me to phone up Blakey and ask him to read me the stats of his user page and I don't even have his phone number!

M_Adams

@Lorne_Kates said:

I'm pretty sure it would have been quicker for me to phone up Blakey and ask him to read me the stats of his user page and I don't even have his phone number!

LOL, I nearly DFO'd when I profiled the script! And blakeyrat's JSON payload isn't the largest at 1.1kb...

Ya, I'm keepin' that sucker turned "OFF"...

Polygeekery

@Lorne_Kates said:

That's a whoppin' 80 bytes per second! I'm pretty sure it would have been quicker for me to phone up Blakey and ask him to read me the stats of his user page and I don't even have his phone number!

Yeah, but the script would get you the information. If you phoned up blakey, he would just tell you to fuck off.

ben_lubar

@M_Adams said:

DFO'd

Dwarf Fortress Omelette'd?