The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!)
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Don't most people tip about a dollar a glass? kaching
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Islam (1.8b) has lots of strict stuff. Catholics (~1B?) have a lot fewer restrictions, and they've changed over the years. Hindus (1b), obviously. I'm sure there are other dogs and cats in there, but the Muslims and Hindus alone cover multiple billions.
And there we go!
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I tried to send in a packet, but it was dropped at the firewall.
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What do you call a wind instrument connected to a blow-dryer?
Vidal BassoonWhat do you call a wind instrument connected to a source of useless hot air?
Gore Vidal BassoonWhat do you call a wind instrument connected to a source of hot air caused by global warming?
Al Gore Vidal Bassoon
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Does anyone wa t to hear a DDo joke? usi UDP pro col?
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I've been meaning to publish this file here for a while:
https://sites.google.com/site/mikaelsvahnberg/home/science-jokes
TL;DR: In 1995 a mad dutchman started collecting and classifying science jokes from usenet. He ended up with this whopper (~10k lines, ~500kB). I
blatantly stolecreatively downloaded it and have kept it in a vault for safekeeping since then. Have fun!
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Well, there goes my productivity!
You bastard!
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In 1995 a mad dutchman started collecting and classifying science jokes from usenet
Bravo sir, I would take my hat off to you but it's part of my avatar!
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I hadn't planned on doing any work today anyway.
Q: What goes "Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!"?
A: A parroty error!!
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In 1995 a mad dutchman started collecting and classifying science jokes from usenet.
In
19721995 acrack commando unitmad dutchman was sent to prison by a military court fora crime they didn't commitcollecting and classifying science jokes from usenet. These men promptly escaped from a maximum securitystockadelunatic asylum to theLos AngelesAmsterdam underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive assoldiersjokers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire theAScience Joke-Team.
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You should move this post to another thread just so I can like it again!
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What do you call a wind instrument connected to a blow-dryer?Vidal Bassoon
What do you call a wind instrument connected to a source of useless hot air?Gore Vidal Bassoon
What do you call a wind instrument connected to a source of hot air caused by global warming?Al Gore Vidal Bassoon
What do you call someone who plays a bassoon?
A faggottist.(No, really, that's what the actual term is.)
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What do you call someone who plays a bassoon?A faggottist.
This is completely unsurprising to me, as my native language is one of those where the term for the instrument is a variation of "faggot". The etymology seems to be from "bundle of sticks".(No, really, that's what the actual term is.)
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RTRFYmaddutchman
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Well, there goes my productivity!
Bookmarked for later when I'm not trying to be productive.
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:fa-save: anyone?
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Interface does a
s/-/_/g
on filenames.
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A joke I heard once at a metrics conference:
A guy walks into a bar together with his monkey. While the guy drinks his beer, the monkey wreaks havoc on the place. It jumps around on tables, drink people's drinks, eat one of the billiard balls, throws peanuts around itself, and chases the guests around. Finally, the bartender has had enough and throws them both out until the guy has better control over his monkey.
A few weeks later, the guy and the monkey are back again. This time, the monkey is very subdued. He sits quietly in his place and does nothing at all. Some guests further down the bar are done, and leave behind a cocktail glass with a cherry left in it. The monkey looks at the cherry, then with a pleading look in his eyes to his master, who nods "ok".
Happily, the monkey skips over, picks up the cherry, looks at it carefully, puts it in its ass, and then eats it. "WTF!" explodes the bartender "I appreciate the training you've done to the monkey and how much quieter it is this time, but that was just gross! Why the hell did he do that?!"
"Oh, " says the guy "ever since he swallowed that billiard ball, he measures everything first."
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You know it's bad when @accalia corrects your gramming and spellar
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what? i have my triggers too!
for some people it's the word febuary, for others it's your/you're
for me it's reek/wreak
also i do occasionally like to fish for a pendantry badge or even a spellar badge (imaging the irony!)
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Thanks. Edited.
Mental note: haddock reeks, havoc wreaks.
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unintended, i like it though. i'll let it stay. :-P
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The poetry thread is over..... huh.... i could have sworn there was one around here somewhere.... where'd it hide?
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What's the difference between Beer nuts and Deer nuts?
[spoiler]Beer nuts are a dollar fifty, and Deer nuts are under a buck.[/spoiler]
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With an iron?
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Three hours. that ook longer than i expected. :-D
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Three hours. that ook longer than i expected. :-D
And he didn't have you to distract him either
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Three hours. that ook longer than i expected.
I had to get to work. BTW, what does "ook" mean? ;)
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what does "ook" mean?
Anything that can't be expressed by "eek"
The Librarian had unilaterally decided to aid comprehension by producing an Orang-utan/Human Dictionary. He'd been working on it for three months. It wasn't easy. He'd got as far as "Oook"
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i appear to have a letter.
s/\book\b/took/
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It's a programming language.
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It's a programming language.
I like the look of Piet better:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c2/Piet_Program_Hello_World(1).gif
That'sHello World
in Piet
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I like the look of Piet better:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c2/Piet_Program_Hello_World(1).gif
That'sHello World
in PietPretty!
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It's a programming language
It is derived from Brainfuck with a reduced syntax.
Yes, that makes sense.
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It is derived from Brainfuck with a reduced syntax.
Yeah, I can see why someone would look at BF and say, "yeah, too much syntax going on here..."
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ook
also in Dutch like in 'I like pasta but I also like steak' would be 'Ik hou van pasta maar ook biefstuk'.
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I like the look of Piet better:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c2/Piet_Program_Hello_World(1).gifIt looks like it should be the next avatar for @ben_lubar
Filed under: if only it was a Dwarf Fortress QR code
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also in Dutch like in 'I like pasta but I also like steak' would be 'Ik hou van pasta, maar ook van biefstuk'.
;)