The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@dcon But what if I want that treat, though?
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
That oughta go into the "Good Ideas" thread
(should try that at the office...)
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@BernieTheBernie said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
That oughta go into the "Good Ideas" thread
You know that there's other options to handle diarrhea, right?
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@ixvedeusi Actually that would be a sensible use.
But I thought of my clue-less cow-orkers. It might be fun when their toilte paper sticks to their asses.
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@ixvedeusi said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@BernieTheBernie said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
That oughta go into the "Good Ideas" thread
You know that there's other options to handle diarrhea, right?
Like heroin, for instance....
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@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@ixvedeusi said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@BernieTheBernie said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
That oughta go into the "Good Ideas" thread
You know that there's other options to handle diarrhea, right?
Like heroin, for instance....
Or diazepam
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Joe worked at an office with Bubba, and one day during the course of their conversation, Bubba claimed to know everyone in the whole world.
"No, that's impossible," said Joe. "No one can know everyone in the world."
"It's true," said Bubba.
"But what about all the new babies born? How do you get to know them?"
"Oh, well, their parents call me and set up a meeting soon after they're born."
"Come on, really? Can you really prove that you know absolutely everyone in the whole world?"
"Okay, how about this? Name someone, anyone you like, and I'll set up a personal meeting with them. Just you, me, and them."
"Okay, how about the queen of England."
"Come on, be serious, you dummy. There is no queen of England. Pick someone."
"Okay, okay. How about the pope?"
"All right. Easter's coming up pretty soon, and the pope always has a big mass for that. Let's go then, and I'll get it all set up for you."
Joe agreed. (After all, how often does a person get offered an all-expenses-paid trip to Rome?) So Easter finally rolls around, and Joe and Bubba take off for their trip. Joe notices that Bubba calls all the airport personnel by name, but figures either he travels enough to know them by now or he read it off their badges, which is somewhat impressive, but still not anywhere near knowing everyone. They get to Rome, and Bubba is still calling people by name. The flight attendants, the taxi driver, the hotel staff, Bubba greets them all.
Well, maybe he just called ahead, Joe thinks. That is a long way to go to keep up this charade, but not impossible.
They spend a little time touring the historical sites in Rome, but then it's time for Easter Mass, so they head over to the Vatican. When they get there, Bubba tells Joe, "Sorry to leave you here for the moment, but I've got to go alone through Vatican security to meet with the pope before Mass, but I'll come with him out onto the balcony, so you can see that I really do know him, and I'll bring you to meet him afterwards." Joe told him this was fine, and he'd be okay standing in the courtyard by himself. So Bubba goes off, and Joe just looks around at everyone there. The place is packed, since it's Easter Mass, so no one really gets much room for themselves. So he settles down between a small family and an older couple.
After a little bit, the pope comes out onto the balcony by himself for the homily, and Joe thinks, Seems like Bubba's bluff has been called. I can't wait to tease him when we get back to the office.
But then, as the homily draws to a close, Bubba steps out onto the balcony with the pope. He and the pope stand there for a moment waving at people, but then Bubba notices a bit of a commotion down where Joe had been standing. He rushes down to see what's going on, and gets there just as some EMTs are starting to care for Joe, who is lying on the ground.
"What happened?" he asks one of the bystanders.
"Well, he seemed to be doing okay, and then you stepped out on the balcony, and he said, 'Oh, huh.'"
"I see, but that doesn't explain..."
"Right after that, my daughter tapped on his arm and asked, 'Who's up there on the balcony with Bubba? We're supposed to meet him so he can see my newborn baby brother right after this,' and he fainted dead away."
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@Zecc I think she is charging herself.
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@djls45 Not sure I get it, but anyways!
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Not sure I get it
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@LaoC said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@ixvedeusi said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@BernieTheBernie said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
That oughta go into the "Good Ideas" thread
You know that there's other options to handle diarrhea, right?
Like heroin, for instance....
Or diazepam
So... if I take both, they'll cancel out!
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@dangeRuss prosopagnosia
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@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dangeRuss prosopagnosia
That's what he had before his mind was blown.
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This post is deleted!
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dangeRuss prÔᕊÔpagnosia
Pareidolia.
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@boomzilla there was an episode of Sheep in the Big City where Sheep found a genie lamp and got 3 wishes. He first wished for a sombrero. The narrator facepalmed and ranted about how Sheep just wasted a wish on something so dumb, and told him he should only make wishes about things that really matter and would make his whole life better. Sheep took this advice to heart and thought really hard about what he wants his second wish to be. And then he made the second wish: a bigger sombrero.
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@error is using "K-9" instead of "dog".
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Found it (reposted?) on Twitter
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@Atazhaia said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@error is using "K-9" instead of "dog".
In this case, it carries the specific meaning of "police dog."
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@djls45 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Atazhaia said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@error is using "K-9" instead of "dog".
In this case, it carries the specific meaning of "police dog."
Or the robot dog servant from Doctor Who....
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@djls45 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Atazhaia said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@error is using "K-9" instead of "dog".
In this case, it carries the specific meaning of "police dog."
K-9, being short for canine, could mean any member of the family Canidae. Which does include raccoon dogs, which according to famous documentary Pompoko would make for an interesting addition to the police force.
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@JBert no Windows 3.1 love?
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@JBert They forgot the current one that vanishes when you move away. Oh wait, this isn't the garage funny stuff thread!
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@Gustav Jake the Dog always wishes for a sandwich.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@JBert They forgot the current one that vanishes when you move away. Oh wait, this isn't the garage funny stuff thread!
My first skim read skips the backreferences.
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@loopback0 so "All I Want For Christmas" is permissable because it's only that B-side, "All I Want For Chrsitmas" that we're not having on.
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@Mason_Wheeler looks like the CSS award.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Mason_Wheeler looks like the CSS award.
"Enthusiasm For
float
" in particular
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@Arantor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@JBert no Windows 3.1 love?
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@Tsaukpaetra Oops, I fucked the VM...
Anyone remember how to cancel loading Windows 3.1?
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@TimeBandit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I know Halo by name, but is it famous for crashing often?
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@LaoC It's a Microsoft exclusive. Even if the game itself didn't crash, you'd still be playing it on Windows/Xbox. So, yes.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Arantor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@JBert no Windows 3.1 love?
And you just happened to have a Windows 3.1 installation lying around for the screenshot?
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@Gustav said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Arantor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@JBert no Windows 3.1 love?
And you just happened to have a Windows 3.1 installation lying around for the screenshot?
No, but the Internet does!
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@Gustav said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
And you just happened to have a Windows 3.1 installation lying around for the screenshot?
Have you met @Tsaukpaetra? I wouldn't be surprised.