Florida Man goes to...
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@dcon Ah, are they in season again? Great!
Now to wait again until a Florida Man takes them home in his car...
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"I swear officer, it was the shortest way home!" (my words, not his)
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@JBert said in Florida Man goes to...:
but did not know
where he was orhow he got to TallahasseeWithout RTA, I'll take Drugs for $1000 Alex.
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Earlier in the night, TPD received a call from his mother that he was under mental duress and could not be located.
What sort of "mental duress" is not explained.
Also, "duress" means
threats, violence, constraints, or other action brought to bear on someone to do something against their will or better judgment.
"confessions extracted under duress"so I'm not sure that's what she really meant.
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@HardwareGeek said in Florida Man goes to...:
Earlier in the night, TPD received a call from his mother that he was under mental duress and could not be located.
What sort of "mental duress" is not explained.
Also, "duress" means
threats, violence, constraints, or other action brought to bear on someone to do something against their will or better judgment.
"confessions extracted under duress"so I'm not sure that's what she really meant.
"boy you better come back home or I'll lock you in the Obama room!"
Edit: meant iguana, keyboard thought otherwise.
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Apropos of nothing in particular, Backyard Scientist's recent video starts by saying "Florida Man here" which I'm hoping he's going to keep as his standard intro
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... kill his bro
Edit: Filed under fake news
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... way high up in Tennessee:
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@lolwhat This page has the video clip from the court:
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@hungrier "Marijuana is a very harmless drug. It's been around for ages, since the 80s and 90s."
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
though the dog did ram into a neighbor's mailbox.
Has the dog been charged with the felonious destruction of government property?
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@Tsaukpaetra said in Florida Man goes to...:
I'm waiting for Florida Man to invent this...
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/508498733042761739/648939688903704616/3c6589bf2b8fe96ffc63fc690e3cabfde44b350cdb21e3de87f17bf09fdd3547_1.jpg.jpg"100% Organic"?
There's no carbon in it!
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@Mason_Wheeler said in Florida Man goes to...:
...the electric company, to pay everyone's past-due bills.
Florida Man: Christmas Edition. Apparently there are some genuinely good ones mixed in with all the weirdos.
I'm pretty sure that people have been giving Christmas gifts long before this guy paid some past-due bills, so "inspired global giving" seems just a bit exaggerated.
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... fill up his boat.
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... upset the neighborhood.
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@HardwareGeek said in Florida Man goes to...:
Earlier in the night, TPD received a call from his mother that he was under mental duress and could not be located.
What sort of "mental duress" is not explained.
Also, "duress" means
threats, violence, constraints, or other action brought to bear on someone to do something against their will or better judgment.
"confessions extracted under duress"so I'm not sure that's what she really meant.
Demon possession?
She probably meant distress, though, and simply committed a malapropism.
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@djls45 said in Florida Man goes to...:
She probably meant distress, though, and simply committed a malapropism.
Of course, but we can't let that be
to
!
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Florida Man might not be too bright, but his laser sure is!
Different man, different place:
Police arrested 55-year old [redacted] whom investigators say admitted pointing the laser because he wanted to test it.
Looks like it worked!
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... paint his house.
But not just any color...
It's all colors of the rainbow:
Apparently the 40 year old Florida Man co-owned this house in a 50-50 split between him and his dad, and due to some feud was forced to sell it, so most likely he made the property undesirable this way to get back at his dad...
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Florida monkeys!
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@JBert said in Florida Man goes to...:
... paint his house.
But not just any color...
It's all colors of the rainbow:
Apparently the 40 year old Florida Man co-owned this house in a 50-50 split between him and his dad, and due to some feud was forced to sell it, so most likely he did it to get back at his dad...
Like this, only with a house. And probably less fun music.
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Nobody in the area who are licensed to own kangaroos say they're missing one, so it seems some Florida Man might have kept it without a license...
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@JBert said in Florida Man goes to...:
Nobody in the area who are licensed to own kangaroos say they're missing one, so it seems some Florida Man might have kept it without a license...
TIL you need a kangaroo license.
But... are the licensed people saying all their stock are accounted for, or have they been audited? Because I could totally see a kangaroo-owning Florida Man saying everything is fine to avoid embarrassment, then frantically running around trying to recover the lost kangaroo on the DL...
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@Mason_Wheeler said in Florida Man goes to...:
TIL you need a kangaroo license.
I hear you have to jump through many hoops to get one.
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@JBert said in Florida Man goes to...:
... paint his house.
But not just any color...
It's all colors of the rainbow:
Apparently the 40 year old Florida Man co-owned this house in a 50-50 split between him and his dad, and due to some feud was forced to sell it, so most likely he made the property undesirable this way to get back at his dad...
He should be given a contract to paint people's houses.
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... the Save-a-Lot
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“high as f--k” in case you were wondering.
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
suspicion of cycling under the influence
.......why is that a thing?
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@Polygeekery pedestrians? Danger to one's self? Which can lead to danger to others? Extension of drunk in public?
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
@Polygeekery pedestrians? Danger to one's self? Which can lead to danger to others? Extension of drunk in public?
I have it on Technical authority that you can't be arrested for being drunk if you're not driving, and riding a bicycle clearly isn't driving...
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@Tsaukpaetra Depending on the exact wording of the law in a particular jurisdiction, it may be illegal to operate motor vehicles, any vehicle (motorized or not, including bicycles), motorized things that may not really fit the definition of "vehicle" (such as Zambonis), or things that are neither motorized nor vehicles (like horses).
Edit: It took me a while to find it, party because I got rather distracted in the process, but Lowering the Bar has a whole category for such things.
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@HardwareGeek said in Florida Man goes to...:
like horses
Yes yes, you simply haven't caught up to the Lounge topic, no worries, the (not really funny) joke will make sense more when you do.
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@Tsaukpaetra One the contrary, I am fully caught up in that thread, and I understand the "joke." In at least some jurisdictions, public intoxication is, itself, an offense. However, "riding a bicycle clearly isn't driving" is simply false in some jurisdictions.
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But two hours after his release, Ibanez was again arrested. Police charge that he stole “two gas station donuts” worth $1.98 from a Speedway in Largo.
Ibanez, who consumed one of the donuts while inside the convenience store, reportedly copped to the theft when confronted by police. But he claimed that he intended to provide the uneaten donut “to law enforcement because he believes ‘All cops love donuts.’”
Yep, now they'll have to charge him with bribery and need to confiscate those donuts for good measure...
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@JBert said in Florida Man goes to...:
need to confiscate those donuts for
good measure“evidence”
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@boomzilla inb4 victim's only response was reportedly, "I hate manure."
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@boomzilla That headline made me first think of someone making an electric battery out of cowshit. Which would be more Indiana Man than Florida, I guess…
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@Polygeekery said in Florida Man goes to...:
.......why is that a thing?
Against the law here in the north coast, but you can ride a horse drunk. But you cannot drive a buggy pulled by horses while drunk. Also note that bicycle and buggy OVI is a lesser crime than powered vehicle OVI.
Go figure. I blame the Amish.
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@dkf said in Florida Man goes to...:
That headline made me first think of someone making an electric battery out of cowshit.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who read it that way.
@dkf said in Florida Man goes to...:
Which would be more Indiana Man than Florida, I guess…
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@Polygeekery said in Florida Man goes to...:
@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
suspicion of cycling under the influence
.......why is that a thing?
Fun fact: until a few years ago, drunk cycling in Poland could lose you your driver's license. For cars. No, you don't need any license at all to cycle.
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@HardwareGeek said in Florida Man goes to...:
Edit: It took me a while to find it, party because I got rather distracted in the process, but Lowering the Bar has a whole category for such things.
I click the link and what's the first thing I see? A Polish Man, of course... driving under influence... a tank.