The Cooking Thread
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@e4tmyl33t said in The Cooking Thread:
@Polygeekery The fuck? Why the deus is a stand mixer that expensive? I've been contemplating looking into one if I'm gonna keep making myself cookies, because I have noodle-arms and using a spoon to mix gets tiring quick, but I don't know if it's worth THAT much.
I bought mine 25 or 30 years ago. Still works.
Edit: Oh, and I got the meat grinder and pasta maker attachments. Pretty sure I got some others, but I can't remember right now...
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@boomzilla said in The Cooking Thread:
@dkf said in The Cooking Thread:
@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
pecans, probably, followed by walnuts
Pecans are nice. So too are cashews and pistachios. But fuck macademias. (A great aunt of mine used to like sending us yogurt-coated macademias every Christmas. Ugh!)
No, Macadamia nuts are great. Especially when coated in dark chocolate. Sadly, my wife is allergic to tree nuts so I almost never eat them.
Damn near anything is great when coated in dark chocolate, though.
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@Karla said in The Cooking Thread:
@TimeBandit said in The Cooking Thread:
@dkf said in The Cooking Thread:
A great aunt of mine used to like sending us yogurt-coated macademias every Christmas. Ugh!
It was a polite way to say "I hate you"
HA! I got that beat. My husband's aunt (whom he doesn't speak to and I've never met) gave my husband's kids chocolate covered bugs for Christmas one year.
...except maybe that.
I'm sure they taste great, but I just can't get past the cringe factor.
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@anotherusername I like my dark chocolate covered in dark chocolate.
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@anotherusername said in The Cooking Thread:
@Karla said in The Cooking Thread:
@TimeBandit said in The Cooking Thread:
@dkf said in The Cooking Thread:
A great aunt of mine used to like sending us yogurt-coated macademias every Christmas. Ugh!
It was a polite way to say "I hate you"
HA! I got that beat. My husband's aunt (whom he doesn't speak to and I've never met) gave my husband's kids chocolate covered bugs for Christmas one year.
...except maybe that.
I'm sure they taste great, but I just can't get past the cringe factor.
Yeah, me neither.
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@boomzilla said in The Cooking Thread:
No, Macadamia nuts are great.
I love Macadamia nut and white chocolate cookies. Just wish Macadamia nuts weren't so damn expensive.
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For supper I made a cup (uncooked volume) of macaroni with velveeta cheese, some of the pasta water to thin it down, a handful of pickled jalapeno slices, a half-teaspoon of reaper powder, several good shakes of cayenne, and three or four twists of the grinder of smoked ghost pepper flakes.
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@Karla said in The Cooking Thread:
@anotherusername said in The Cooking Thread:
@Karla said in The Cooking Thread:
@TimeBandit said in The Cooking Thread:
@dkf said in The Cooking Thread:
A great aunt of mine used to like sending us yogurt-coated macademias every Christmas. Ugh!
It was a polite way to say "I hate you"
HA! I got that beat. My husband's aunt (whom he doesn't speak to and I've never met) gave my husband's kids chocolate covered bugs for Christmas one year.
...except maybe that.
I'm sure they taste great, but I just can't get past the cringe factor.
Yeah, me neither.
Mmmmm... chocolate covered crickets 🦗....
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@M_Adams said in The Cooking Thread:
@Karla said in The Cooking Thread:
@anotherusername said in The Cooking Thread:
@Karla said in The Cooking Thread:
@TimeBandit said in The Cooking Thread:
@dkf said in The Cooking Thread:
A great aunt of mine used to like sending us yogurt-coated macademias every Christmas. Ugh!
It was a polite way to say "I hate you"
HA! I got that beat. My husband's aunt (whom he doesn't speak to and I've never met) gave my husband's kids chocolate covered bugs for Christmas one year.
...except maybe that.
I'm sure they taste great, but I just can't get past the cringe factor.
Yeah, me neither.
Mmmmm... chocolate covered crickets 🦗....
Fucking weirdo.
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@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
@M_Adams said in The Cooking Thread:
@Karla said in The Cooking Thread:
@anotherusername said in The Cooking Thread:
@Karla said in The Cooking Thread:
@TimeBandit said in The Cooking Thread:
@dkf said in The Cooking Thread:
A great aunt of mine used to like sending us yogurt-coated macademias every Christmas. Ugh!
It was a polite way to say "I hate you"
HA! I got that beat. My husband's aunt (whom he doesn't speak to and I've never met) gave my husband's kids chocolate covered bugs for Christmas one year.
...except maybe that.
I'm sure they taste great, but I just can't get past the cringe factor.
Yeah, me neither.
Mmmmm... chocolate covered crickets 🦗....
Fucking weirdo.
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@M_Adams ha. I love that. I need to eat there.
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@Polygeekery Sounds yummy. But it's in
. Not worth it.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
@Polygeekery Sounds yummy. But it's in
. Not worth it.Actually I believe it’s in Georgia... Saskatoon is the restaurant’s name.
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@M_Adams Oh. I was wondering why the sign wasn't buried in snow.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
@M_Adams Oh. I was wondering why the sign wasn't buried in snow.
I assumed it was the same reason the houses aren't.
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@anotherusername said in The Cooking Thread:
It came today.
Good thing... I was a little bit worried that I might run out...
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@anotherusername said in The Cooking Thread:
Good thing... I was a little bit worried that I might run out...
Why don't you just get a trade account with the original supplier?
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@dkf said in The Cooking Thread:
@anotherusername said in The Cooking Thread:
Good thing... I was a little bit worried that I might run out...
Why don't you just get a trade account with the original supplier?
You joke, but...
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@dkf
Or he could buy it on the futures' market by the barge load.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
But it's in
. Not worth it.Honestly, we have the best frozen food
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@anotherusername said in The Cooking Thread:
@anotherusername said in The Cooking Thread:
It came today.
Good thing... I was a little bit worried that I might run out...
I used up the last of the first shaker today.
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This looks like fun:
"Drunken Peanut Butter Cups" Is The Only Thanksgiving Dessert You Need
Reese's fans, this is your dream come true.
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@Polygeekery Skip the Reese and drink the vodka straight then
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@TimeBandit that's my kind of dessert!
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@TimeBandit said in The Cooking Thread:
@Polygeekery Skip the Reese and drink the vodka straight then
For breakfast some cornflakes and vodka,
But cornflakes have carbohydrates
So I don't eat those fattening cornflakes,
I eat the vodka straight.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
@boomzilla said in The Cooking Thread:
it's also very dense, so it's best with thin slices
That reminds me, I need to try baking holiday fruitcake* with gluten-free flour.
* It's not the ordinary holiday fruitcake that everybody hates. It doesn't have any icky candied citrus peel, only dates and cherries. And chocolate! My ex-wife once said the recipe for it was the only good thing to come from her first marriage (she got it from her ex-mother-in-law).
One fruitcake baked. Too hot to sample, yet. I had to bake it about 10 minutes longer than the recipe called for. I need an oven thermometer.
@anotherusername said in The Cooking Thread:
@HardwareGeek Fruitcake is probably one thing where gluten-free flour wouldn't make much of a difference. There isn't supposed to be very much cake with the fruit anyhow.
Indeed. It's mostly pecans, cherries, dates and chocolate chips glued together with eggs, sugar and a little flour.
Unfortunately, my first attempt at basic white bread is not doing well at becoming breadlike. It's just not rising. I suspect the lack of gluten is allowing the CO2 from the yeast to just leak out of the dough instead of causing it to rise.
The function of gluten is replaced by vegetable gums like xanthan or guar. I bought two brands of "all purpose" flour, one of which had xanthan gum, but the other didn't. I think I probably needed to add some extra xanthan gum. This was intended to be a learning experience and, well, I learned something.
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Something I had about two weeks ago: Roasted sausage potatoes and peppers.
Potato, rosemary, meat and salt: how could that not be nice?
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This week I was at our local grocery store that is a chain somewhat similar to WalMart. I was at the meat counter getting some bacon and one of the guys working there says he is about tired of pricing turkeys and he is ready for Thanksgiving to be over. I am the curious type so I inquire as to how many turkeys they sell during Thanksgiving. He lets out a sigh and says he has no idea the number of turkeys, but they usually sell 3 semi loads of them.
Holy fuck, that is a lot of turkey. Your average semi doing short haul day trips can haul 40,000-47,000 lbs of cargo, depending on the truck. If we go with the low end then they sell ~120,000 lbs of turkeys during Thanksgiving. This is just one store in our metropolitan area. As I was there he was putting together an order for the golf course by my house and they had ordered 4,500 lbs of turkeys.
The mind boggles. That's a lot of freaking turkeys.
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I think I have mentioned it before, but if you want stress-free holiday cooking then do what I do and cook as much as you can the day before. I spent the day yesterday cooking basically everything but the turkey, which went in the brine until this morning.
Today's menu:
It results in perfect turkey every single time. I know some say that brining does nothing, but this recipe works so I am not looking to switch things up any time soon.
Slow-Cooked Green Beans
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Chef John's Southern-style green beans make plenty of delicious juice that's just right for dipping corn bread into.
Cooked yesterday and then put in the crock from the CrockPot and then put in the refrigerator. A few hours before we want to eat it is pulled from the fridge and turned on high to rewarm. Easy peasy.
Mascarpone Mashed Potatoes
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This holiday season is a great time to update your mashed potato side dish with this version incorporating plenty of butter and smooth mascarpone cheese for a really special treat.
Cooked yesterday except for baking it. Currently in the refrigerator and will go in the oven right before I pull the turkey.
Simple Classic Stuffing
This Thanksgiving stuffing recipe is easy and elegant. Leave sausage, nuts, and dried fruit behind in this vegetarian-friendly mix of torn bread and classic herbs.
Prepped yesterday, just needs to be baked.
Same thing. Prepped yesterday and only needs baked.
By doing all the cooking you can the day before, and picking recipes that allow you to do so, it makes Thanksgiving comparatively relaxing. Plus, if anything gets fucked in the process you have time to recover. If any ingredients are forgotten you have time to go get them. You don't have to spend the day in the kitchen. You can hang out with family and friends and you look like a fucking rockstar when everything just falls in to place at the end. We have two wall ovens and I do the 500F step of the turkey in those and then move it to the pellet grill outside so the house does not get scorching hot from running a stovetop and ovens all day long. When I am getting my recipes together I make myself out a rough schedule and oven temperatures. It usually works out to one oven being set to 350F and the other to 400-425F.
Until we started hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas every single holiday meal usually involved at least one person in the kitchen literally all day and various people filtering in helping out. By doing things this way, as people arrive and ask if they can help with anything it is pretty nice to just say:
"Nah, we have it all covered."No last minute grocery runs on Thanksgiving, no skipping dishes because you realize at the last second you are missing a crucial ingredient, no spending all day cooking instead of enjoying the day and everyone is impressed that everything goes so well because they don't see the three trips you made to the grocery the day before. You even have time to do all the prep dishes and get them put away.
But, probably the most important part is that when everyone starts complimenting the food I always make sure and point out that my wife did literally everything else like last minute cleaning and setting the table and putting together the appetizers. An interesting quirk of my wife's family is that they always praise the food and don't notice that our house looks nice and isn't a total pig sty despite having two kids and two dogs trying their best to devolve everything to chaos. That's all her.
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@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
it makes Thanksgiving comparatively relaxing.
Well, as far as food goes anyway. Five minutes after her family starts arriving I am down in the basement digging through boxes trying to find our old TV antenna because her weird Aspie aunt wants to watch the Macy's parade.
At least I am not worried about the food, right?
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It should be on a magazine cover.
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@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
Macy's parade.
LOL I'm not the only one that refers to it as Macy's rather than Thanksgiving.
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Going to a friend of my daughter's for Thanksgiving dinner. Bearing freshly baked pecan pie, cornbread, and about half of the fruitcake described above. I will incur the wrath of my kids when they notice the fruitcake, because they don't want to share it.
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God I love cumin. I absolutely must use more of it; I see no reason not to automatically include cumin with mince.
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@kazitor said in The Cooking Thread:
I see no reason not to automatically include cumin with mince.
Have a true classic of cumin and meat…
Madhur Jaffrey’s Spiced Yogurt Leg of Lamb
A couple of weeks ago in Bristol I was sniffing around St Nicks Market bookstore and picked up a copy of Madhur Jaffrey’s Indian Cookery , this was a book that sat beside Delia in my house gr…
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@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
This week I was at our local grocery store that is a chain somewhat similar to WalMart. I was at the meat counter getting some bacon and one of the guys working there says he is about tired of pricing turkeys and he is ready for Thanksgiving to be over. I am the curious type so I inquire as to how many turkeys they sell during Thanksgiving. He lets out a sigh and says he has no idea the number of turkeys, but they usually sell 3 semi loads of them.
Holy fuck, that is a lot of turkey. Your average semi doing short haul day trips can haul 40,000-47,000 lbs of cargo, depending on the truck. If we go with the low end then they sell ~120,000 lbs of turkeys during Thanksgiving. This is just one store in our metropolitan area. As I was there he was putting together an order for the golf course by my house and they had ordered 4,500 lbs of turkeys.
The mind boggles. That's a lot of freaking turkeys.
Not food related but when we went to get our Christmas tree from Costco I asked a person that works there how many trees they sell during the holidays.
10-12 semi loads. I don't know how many that is, but if you have ever bought a Christmas tree from Costco you know that they stack the semi trailers completely full, as many trees as they can fit in them, from floor to ceiling and from front to back. We have three Costcos in our area, so if we make the foolish assumption that ours is a representative sample that would be 30-36 semi trailer loads of Christmas trees, just at Costco.
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@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
10-12 semi loads.
Based on my recent experience, it's probably between 250 - 350 trees for each one, though of course a lot of that depends on the trailer and the sizes of the trees.
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@boomzilla were your trees bundled with string? The trailers are 53', maximum roadworthy size. I would be very surprised if there were only 300 in those trailers.
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@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
@boomzilla were your trees bundled with string? The trailers are 53', maximum roadworthy size. I would be very surprised if there were only 300 in those trailers.
They were in nets, actually. Also, it was a stake bed trailer and the trees were piled a lot higher than I believe a normal tractor trailer would be. It may have been a little bit under 53' long, however. I don't recall. If it was significantly shorter then maybe they could get 400 or so in there, but the load of 280 trees took up a pretty significant volume. And was a major PITA to unload.
I don't even want to imagine what it would take to unload from a trailer with a roof. It's difficult to just pull the trees because they get all tangled up and stuff, so you have to lift them in order to get them out. At least, that was my experience. Most of our trees were between 7 and 8 feet tall, with some up to 10 feet and down to 6 feet. They were very full, too, which would make a difference. all Frasier firs this year.
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http://www.oregonchristmastree.com/FAQ.html
Q: How many Christmas trees will fit in a truck?
A:A semi-truck with a 53 foot trailer will hold approximately 400 to 500 trees. Including taller trees reduces that total number very quickly. One 9’ foot tree equals two 6’ foot trees when it comes to shipping. Ordering lots of smaller trees will push the total number up. The largest Penske, Budget or U-Haul rental trucks hold about one third as many, up to about 200 trees.
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@Polygeekery Yeah, so as I suspected, size matters.
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This is making me hungry just thinking about it!
KFC Is Selling A Firelog That Will Make Your House Smell Like Fried Chicken
KFC is selling a limited-edition firelog for the holidays, and they engineered it so that the aroma it gives off perfectly mimics their fried chicken.
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@boomzilla My favourite lunch bar actually had "cock soup" on its menu one time.
When I asked the owner what's so special about it he answered "it's chicken soup, but with balls!"
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Nice pretzel (Laugengebäck) recipe:
Homemade Soft Pretzels - Two Peas & Their Pod
The other night we were watching the Food Network, sometimes it sucks us in:) Well, we caught a Throwdown with Bobby Flay. He went to Philadelphia to challenge “The Pretzel Boys” who are famous for Philadelphia’s best soft pretzels. It was fun watching them make pretzels…both recipes looked tasty,...
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@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
Unfortunately, my first attempt at basic white bread is not doing well at becoming breadlike. It's just not rising. I suspect the lack of gluten is allowing the CO2 from the yeast to just leak out of the dough instead of causing it to rise.
The function of gluten is replaced by vegetable gums like xanthan or guar. I bought two brands of "all purpose" flour, one of which had xanthan gum, but the other didn't. I think I probably needed to add some extra xanthan gum. This was intended to be a learning experience and, well, I learned something.My second try was better. I used a different recipe, for gluten-free dinner rolls, but shaped into loaves. It mostly worked, but I do need to make a few adjustments.
The dough rose properly, although it took considerably longer than the recipe said. I added xanthan gum to the gumless gluten-free flour, and it made a much better texture. (I also didn't add too much flour trying to make the dough stiff; the recipe said it would be sticky, so I just went with that.)
The dough was difficult to shape into loaves because of the stickiness; it much preferred sticking to my fingers than to itself. The loaves were very lumpy and lacked visual appeal. Also, I made two loaves, but they're kind of small; the recipe doesn't really make enough dough for two, so next time I'll probably try making just one bigger loaf (or maybe multiply the recipe by ~1.5).
They came out a bit under-baked. The crust is nicely browned on top, but the middle is a still a bit doughy. Next time I need to increase the baking time and lower the temperature a little so that the crust doesn't burn before the middle is done.
Finally, I need to do a better job of greasing the loaf pans. Both loaves stuck to the pans.
Overall, though, I'd call it a success. Certainly far more successful than the first attempt, which I threw out without even trying to bake it. It's edible, especially if toasted, and I learned what I need to do differently next time.
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Christmas dinner menu:
Green salad. Prepared by my son, with much complaining about veggie ingredients he doesn't like.
E. coliRomaine lettuce, radishes, zucchini, broccoli; forgot to put the tomatoes in.
Ham. Bought at the last minute, and fortunately fully cooked, because it didn't quite reach the "proper" temperature* when reheating it. Garnished with pineapple rings and candied cherries, with the easiest "glaze" ever — just pour lemon-lime soda over it a few times while cooking.
Mashed yellow, red-skinned and purple potatoes. I'm not sure I'd use purple potatoes, at least not mixed with whitish potatoes, for mashing again. The purple potatoes taste great but give the mashed potatoes an unappealing purple-gray color.
Acorn squash with balsamic reduction. Recipe from Better Homes and Gardens cookbook. AFAICR, I'd never cooked acorn squash before. At first, I was a bit upset that the recipe called for, basically, an entire 250ml bottle of balsamic vinegar, but then I noticed the recipe was for two squash, but I was only cooking one, so I only needed to use half the bottle. The squash came out fine. I reduced the reduction a little too much; it was more gloppy than drizzly, but it tasted ok.
Homemade gluten-free bread. See above.
Pecan pie. Basic recipe from the bottle of Karo syrup with store-bought gluten-free crust. Crust got pretty brown, but taste and texture are fine (at least for gluten-free). Dripped and made a huge mess in the bottom of the oven, which later (while baking the ham) set off the smoke detector.
Hadn't found my oven thermometer, so bought a new one. According to it, if it's accurate, my oven does indeed run much cooler than the oven's temperature setting, by 25 °F, or more.
At least now I know, so I can adjust accordingly.* I hate my oven-going meat thermometer. It has a double-ended pointer and two scales — one with the actual temperature; the other indicating "rare," "medium," "well done," etc. — and I'm never sure whether I'm reading the right end of the pointer. The pointer rotates more than a half-rotation between cold and hot, so sometimes the pointer is pointing at the desired temperature, but it's the wrong *%&%$%! end of the pointer.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
AFAICR, I'd never cooked acorn squash before.
Try it with butter, brown sugar, and pecans sometime. Just dump appropriate-seeming amounts in the split halves and bake for however long you bake acorn squash to make it tender.
Good Eats Roast Turkey
