The Official Status Thread

anonymous234

How to remix a song, according to "youtube DJs":

Make song faster
Add heavy bass beat

All done.

Tsaukpaetra

@anonymous234 said in The Official Status Thread:

How to remix a song, according to "youtube DJs":

Make song faster

Add heavy bass beat

All done.

Or just make it faster. That's night core!

dcon

status We have a bug "Fix unknown crash". I really want to resolve it with "Unknown patch applied"

TwelveBaud

@Tsaukpaetra no, but I will!

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Muhahahaha!

dkf

Status: Was back at work today, after a week and a bit off. Spent half the afternoon trying to not rant at just how stupid some bits of youtube's GUI are. (Also, been converting some Python code into Java and playing “hunt the provenance of the mysterious magic 280”.)

Oh well, at least the commute home was good; it took nearly 30 minutes less than normal. :)

Tsaukpaetra

status: we're live and free to play...

Why does everything have to break hours before release?

Seriously. Http requests that worked absolutely fine before decided "nope, we don't know how much data as fucking downloaded, but actually we do, but we're not going to tell you, but you should have known!"

Whatever. It's all mostly working, and now I'll be afk-ing in the game pretending to greet nubes.

dkf

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:

Why does everything have to break hours before release?

Panic-sensitive programs.

Luhmann

@PleegWat
Boots definitely has boots

PleegWat

@Luhmann And could therefore be rebooted. But it's not boots in that image.

Tsaukpaetra

@dkf said in The Official Status Thread:

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:

Why does everything have to break hours before release?

Panic-sensitive programs.

That's the problem: there was no panic until it wasn't working because we thought everything was fully tested and working for months. I even tested the migration several times up to and on the day of the update, and it all worked. But, magic happened.

ben_lubar

@pie_flavor said in The Official Status Thread:

Passwords are case sensitive and must contain 8-20 characters including: 1 uppercase character, 1 lowercase character and 1 number. (No spaces)

Passwords are case insensitive and must contain 30-40 characters including: ASCII letters (no repeats)

HardwareGeek

Status: I am surrounded by idiots. That is all.

ben_lubar

@Applied-Mediocrity said in The Official Status Thread:

@Gribnit
https://i.imgur.com/Mdp5k4V.jpg

webcomic name mashup maker

ben_lubar

@PleegWat said in The Official Status Thread:

How, if she's not currently wearing boots?

is that a sex thing

do not wear the monkey

ben_lubar

@TwelveBaud I can do better than that:

TwelveBaud

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:

status: we're live and free to play...

Oh fucking hell. Does nobody at Timefire have any idea how economics works?

@ben_lubar said in The Official Status Thread:

I can do better than that:

That's not a v-card though.

izzion

Status:

Someone driving in the lane that everyone's going to have to merge out of at several MPH under the speed limit, not merging for two blocks despite having a three car gap to merge into that whole time, so I can't merge into that gap because I'm at the very back of said gap and it would be pretty tight bordering on outright unsafe.
Two other someones figuring the shortest end-of-cycle left turn light in town is the ideal place to check their social media while they wait
Traffic snarls up at the only way into my work that doesn't involve a grade intersection with a train tracks due to an accident, so I decide to take the ~5 minute detour to the alternate route and risk a train crossing
Train crossing adds 5 more minutes to wait for a train

:sigh: Not my morning for driving...

Cursorkeys

@izzion said in The Official Status Thread:

Train crossing adds 5 more minutes to wait for a train

A road I use to get to work is closed by traffic lights when a plane is landing. Generally it's a 5 min delay. There were two planes landing this morning with about 3 minutes between them. They did not turn the lights back off for the three minutes

mott555

@izzion said in The Official Status Thread:

Two other someones figuring the shortest end-of-cycle left turn light in town is the ideal place to check their social media while they wait

I'm not a road-rager, but these guys make me want to light their vehicles on fire.

Speaking of road rage and bad drivers, someone made a very stupid turn onto my road and cut me off. Then, upon seeing I was coming and was probably going to hit him, he decided to stop rather than accelerate. I slammed on my brakes and skidded to a stop (my ABS doesn't work), fortunately avoiding a collision. Other car finally starts moving again and has the gall to give me the middle finger as if his terrible decisions were my fault, and then proceeds to drive 25 mph in a 45 zone.

blakeyrat

@mott555 said in The Official Status Thread:

I'm not a road-rager, but these guys make me want to light their vehicles on fire.

It's worse if your Washingtonian and thus genetically programmed to never use your horn. Because driving in modern traffic you need your horn has a "hey pay attention to the fucking road numbnuts" button. But I never think of that. Because I'm Washingtonian.

pie_flavor

@blakeyrat It's more fun in Boston, when nobody actually stops leaning on their horn so they have to scream and use their middle finger when they actually want to get your attention à la HTML entities in the Likes Thread.

dcon

status Hmm. All Hands meeting (suddenly) scheduled in 2.5 hrs. That's never a good sign...

edit: couple folks on the leadership team leaving, someone promoted, typical turnover yada yada...

Benjamin Hall

@dcon said in The Official Status Thread:

status Hmm. All Hands meeting (suddenly) scheduled in 2.5 hrs. That's never a good sign...

We had one of those called for the first day of school. We got an email the night before at like 8 or 9 PM. It was...fun. Basically a teacher got fired for being a moron and we were getting read in so we could respond and wouldn't get blindsided.

Tsaukpaetra

@TwelveBaud said in The Official Status Thread:

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
status: we're live **and free to play**...
Oh fucking hell. Does nobody at Timefire have any idea how economics works?

It's been on steam for a price for the past year and you could count the number of downloads on two hands.

Edit: clarification.

Apparently nobody wants to pay for an unknown thing?

HardwareGeek

@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Status Thread:

Basically a teacher got fired for being a moron

Really? That usually results in being promoted to management.

ben_lubar

https://steamdb.info/app/563560/graphs/
PEAK CONCURRENT PLAYERS: 9,335 about a year ago
STEAMSPY ESTIMATION: 3.3 hours average total playtime

https://steamdb.info/app/401970/graphs/
PEAK CONCURRENT PLAYER: 20 about a year ago
STEAMSPY ESTIMATION: 0 minutes average total playtime

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:

@TwelveBaud said in The Official Status Thread:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
status: we're live **and free to play**...
Oh fucking hell. Does nobody at Timefire have any idea how economics works?
It's been on steam for the past year and you could count the number of downloads on two hands.

You have very weird hands.

Benjamin Hall

@HardwareGeek said in The Official Status Thread:

@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Status Thread:

Basically a teacher got fired for being a moron

Really? That usually results in being promoted to management.

This one said some...things...to teenage girls. No actions, but his words crossed a whole bunch of lines.

Tsaukpaetra

@ben_lubar said in The Official Status Thread:

https://steamdb.info/app/563560/graphs/
PEAK CONCURRENT PLAYERS: 9,335 about a year ago
STEAMSPY ESTIMATION: 3.3 hours average total playtime

https://steamdb.info/app/401970/graphs/
PEAK CONCURRENT PLAYER: 20 about a year ago
STEAMSPY ESTIMATION: 0 minutes average total playtime

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
@TwelveBaud said in The Official Status Thread:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
status: we're live **and free to play**...
Oh fucking hell. Does nobody at Timefire have any idea how economics works?
It's been on steam for the past year and you could count the number of downloads on two hands.
You have very weird hands.

Does steamdb count refunds? It's not hard to count to zero no matter what kind of hand you have.

ben_lubar

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:

@ben_lubar said in The Official Status Thread:
https://steamdb.info/app/563560/graphs/
PEAK CONCURRENT PLAYERS: 9,335 about a year ago
STEAMSPY ESTIMATION: 3.3 hours average total playtime

https://steamdb.info/app/401970/graphs/
PEAK CONCURRENT PLAYER: 20 about a year ago
STEAMSPY ESTIMATION: 0 minutes average total playtime

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
@TwelveBaud said in The Official Status Thread:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
status: we're live **and free to play**...
Oh fucking hell. Does nobody at Timefire have any idea how economics works?
It's been on steam for the past year and you could count the number of downloads on two hands.
You have very weird hands.
Does steamdb count refunds? It's not hard to count to zero no matter what kind of hand you have.

If you made 20 sales and all 20 were refunded, Steam's legal team would probably be in contact with you.

Tsaukpaetra

@ben_lubar said in The Official Status Thread:

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
@ben_lubar said in The Official Status Thread:
https://steamdb.info/app/563560/graphs/
PEAK CONCURRENT PLAYERS: 9,335 about a year ago
STEAMSPY ESTIMATION: 3.3 hours average total playtime

https://steamdb.info/app/401970/graphs/
PEAK CONCURRENT PLAYER: 20 about a year ago
STEAMSPY ESTIMATION: 0 minutes average total playtime

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
@TwelveBaud said in The Official Status Thread:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
status: we're live **and free to play**...
Oh fucking hell. Does nobody at Timefire have any idea how economics works?
It's been on steam for the past year and you could count the number of downloads on two hands.
You have very weird hands.
Does steamdb count refunds? It's not hard to count to zero no matter what kind of hand you have.
If you made 20 sales and all 20 were refunded, Steam's legal team would probably be in contact with you.

Why?

ben_lubar

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:

@ben_lubar said in The Official Status Thread:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
@ben_lubar said in The Official Status Thread:
https://steamdb.info/app/563560/graphs/
PEAK CONCURRENT PLAYERS: 9,335 about a year ago
STEAMSPY ESTIMATION: 3.3 hours average total playtime

https://steamdb.info/app/401970/graphs/
PEAK CONCURRENT PLAYER: 20 about a year ago
STEAMSPY ESTIMATION: 0 minutes average total playtime

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
@TwelveBaud said in The Official Status Thread:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
status: we're live **and free to play**...
Oh fucking hell. Does nobody at Timefire have any idea how economics works?
It's been on steam for the past year and you could count the number of downloads on two hands.
You have very weird hands.
Does steamdb count refunds? It's not hard to count to zero no matter what kind of hand you have.
If you made 20 sales and all 20 were refunded, Steam's legal team would probably be in contact with you.
Why?

They would probably have automatically flagged your game as fraud.

heterodox

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:

Whatever. It's all mostly working, and now I'll be afk-ing in the game pretending to greet nubes.

There is a big difference between newbs and nubes.

cartman82

STATUS:

Receptionist came late, and was all apologetic that she forgot to apply makeup. Everybody, and I mean everybody, commented how she looks a hundred times better without. She's actually very pretty underneath her usual mask of chemicals.

Why do women do that to themselves?

TwelveBaud

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:

It's been on steam for a price for the past year and you could count the number of downloads on two hands.

Fair enough, but you've shared enough details about your Azure setup that I know you're* burning at least five digits a month, and now you're* cutting off your* main source of revenue.

* Your employer, not you personally. I know you're a good guy, but I wonder about them...

izzion

@TwelveBaud
It's K, they're gonna add loot boxes with the next update and then they'll be printing money.

dkf

@cartman82 said in The Official Status Thread:

Why do women do that to themselves?

I suspect it's because they hate their skin. Of course, one of the main things that causes them skin problems is all the stuff they slather on it… (the other big causes of issues are the usuals: smoking is particularly bad for skin).

Benjamin Hall

@cartman82 the other ones I see a lot are excessive tanning and horrible tattoos.

JazzyJosh

http://i.imgur.com/K7CwVxC.jpg

Weng

@ben_lubar said in The Official Status Thread:

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
@ben_lubar said in The Official Status Thread:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
@ben_lubar said in The Official Status Thread:
https://steamdb.info/app/563560/graphs/
PEAK CONCURRENT PLAYERS: 9,335 about a year ago
STEAMSPY ESTIMATION: 3.3 hours average total playtime

https://steamdb.info/app/401970/graphs/
PEAK CONCURRENT PLAYER: 20 about a year ago
STEAMSPY ESTIMATION: 0 minutes average total playtime

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
@TwelveBaud said in The Official Status Thread:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:
status: we're live **and free to play**...
Oh fucking hell. Does nobody at Timefire have any idea how economics works?
It's been on steam for the past year and you could count the number of downloads on two hands.
You have very weird hands.
Does steamdb count refunds? It's not hard to count to zero no matter what kind of hand you have.
If you made 20 sales and all 20 were refunded, Steam's legal team would probably be in contact with you.
Why?
They would probably have automatically flagged your game as fraud.

I assume they'd do some basic due diligence before deploying the lawyers. There's probably some poor bastard whose job it is to play suspect games and give them the "fraud or just impossibly lame" sniff.

Jaloopa

@JazzyJosh said in The Official Status Thread:

http://i.imgur.com/K7CwVxC.jpg

0_1535642857247_4bc29415-71ec-4f4c-986c-38ee0962972c-image.png

JazzyJosh

@Jaloopa

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3skS2LpdMo

n0tail and Fly stuck together through thick and thin for 6 years or so, but Fly and s4 both jumped ship from OG to EG a week or so before a major tournament without warning. Three months later OG wins TI (for ~$11.2m. The Aegis is the trophy)

Also in reference to the original

HardwareGeek

@JazzyJosh said in The Official Status Thread:

n0tail and Fly

I'm guessing from the context that these are people, but I have no idea who they are and even less interest in finding out.

Tsaukpaetra

@TwelveBaud said in The Official Status Thread:

@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Status Thread:

It's been on steam for a price for the past year and you could count the number of downloads on two hands.

Fair enough, but you've shared enough details about your Azure setup that I know you're* burning at least five digits a month, and now you're* cutting off your* main source of revenue.

* Your employer, not you personally. I know you're a good guy, but I wonder about them...

Let me be clear: that "main source of revenue" everyone keeps talking about? We haven't seen anything at all. I don't have access to the figures, but it's not enough to even mention. I'm pretty sure I've made more money from Subway rewards than the company has from steam sales.

Tsaukpaetra

status: last night's dream triggered a depression alert, and I awoke to oxygen deprivation through suffocation. What a way to start the day...

dkf

Status: Oh god fucking damnit on a rocket-powered pogo stick! Why, Oracle, does duplicating a little-endian byte buffer result in a big-endian byte buffer? That's really not what any sane person would expect from the word “duplicate”, and nothing in the documentation (for Java 8 at least) gives any indication that this is so.

loopback0

@dkf said in The Official Status Thread:

Oracle

@dkf said in The Official Status Thread:

not what any sane person would expect

HardwareGeek

@loopback0 We have a whole category for that.

Filed under: Topics are free

dkf

@loopback0 said in The Official Status Thread:

@dkf said in The Official Status Thread:

Oracle

@dkf said in The Official Status Thread:

not what any sane person would expect

heterodox

: Why is Minecraft fucking frozen as shit?!
waits 10 minutes for Ctrl+Alt+Del to register and start Task Manager...

: 98% of memory is in use!
: Ah. Get-VM | Stop-VM
: 28% of memory is in use.

Funny how everything is so much more responsive now.

Edit: And then fifteen minutes later I got gangbanged by shoggoths and ragequit. Hardly worth shutting down all my VMs.