The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
:fa_facebook.png:uck :fa_facebook.png: acebook
(and a special mention to white text on orange background)Here's the content for people who don't want to go there:
- May your headphones snag on every door handle.
- May you press 'A' too hastily and be forced to speak with the nurse at the Pokemon Center all over again.
- May you forever feel your cell phone vibrating in the pocket it's not even in.
- May the chocolate chips in your cookies always turn out to be raisins.
- May your tea be too hot when you receive it, and too cold by the time you remember it's there.
- May your chair produce a sound familiar to a fart, but only once, such that you cannot reproduce it to prove that is was just the chair.
- May your mother come to talk to you, and then leave your door slightly ajar, so that you have to get up and close it.
- May the pin of the bathroom stall never reach the lock to close the door.
- May your spoon always slip and sink under the hot soup you eat.
- May all your Facebook notifications be game invites.
- May you have your laptop charge overnight without noticing the chord isn't plugged into the wall.
- May every "empty" parking space you see in the distance actually contain a motorcycle. @Zecc's note: or a Smart car
- May every sock you wear be slightly rotated, just enough for it to be uncomfortable.
- May you never be quite certain as to whether that pressure is a fart or poop.
- May your return calls always go unanswered even though you literally just fucking called me, Kyle.
- May your cookie always be slightly too large to fit inside your glass of milk.
- May both sides of your pillow be warm.
- May your five year old neighbor have their violin lesson during all of your hangovers.
- May you always get up from your computer with your headphones still attached.
- May your article load that extra little bit as your [sic] about to click a link so you clink an ad instead.
- May every guitar pick you use fall into the soundhole.
- May you always step in a wet spot after putting on fresh socks.
"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" just doesn't have the probability it once had.
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@el_heffe said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
In 1967, Harold Holt, the Prime Minister of Australia went swimming at a remote beach and disappeared. His body was never found and it was assumed he drowned.
In his honor, they named a swimming pool after him.
I was struck mostly that this would even be possible. By way of comparison, I doubt that a modern American president would ever be out of sight of the Secret Service.
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@chozang said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@el_heffe said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
In 1967, Harold Holt, the Prime Minister of Australia went swimming at a remote beach and disappeared. His body was never found and it was assumed he drowned.
In his honor, they named a swimming pool after him.
I was struck mostly that this would even be possible. By way of comparison, I doubt that a modern American president would ever be out of sight of the Secret Service.
Apparently things were a bit more . . . casual . . in 1960s Australia.
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Just in time for Christmas, KFC introduces a bucket of gravy.
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Extra large and with all the straws, fries or chicken you could ever need.
— KFC UK & Ireland (@KFC_UKI) December 18, 2017
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@el_heffe said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
http://www.clickhole.com/article/twitter-meltdown-rian-johnson-pleading-fans-not-wa-6942
Stupid publicity stunt. It takes seconds to suspend a debit card with most banks.
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@tsaukpaetra psst... it's
the OnionClickHole.
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@tsaukpaetra psst... it's
the OnionClickHole.@Tsaukpaetra is to parody sites what masonwheeler is to Elon Musk ideas.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I feel a bit disappointed that they never explained what rick and morty are.
It's a sauce you can get at McDonalds but they didn't have enough so people got really mad.
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Old stuff is still funny.
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I feel a bit disappointed that they never explained what rick and morty are.
It's a sauce you can get at McDonalds but they didn't have enough so people got really mad.
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The title is the funny part
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I support the Swiss in this decision.
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@bb36e said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The title is the funny part
I thought the joke was that every year was the year of the Linux desktop. Like this:
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@polygeekery It's actually old news from January.
Looking back, she did get a passport as she has been living in Switzerland from age 8:
Ms Holten appealed to the Aargau cantonal authorities, which took her side against the village committee, The Local reports.
Ms Holten had courted controversy among local residents, who often have a say in Swiss citizenship applications, for giving interviews to the media about her views on animal rights.
She made her first attempt at naturalisation in 2015, when she was approved by local authorities but rejected by 144 out of 206 residents in a vote.
Tanja Suter, president of the local Swiss People’s Party, claimed Ms Holten had a “big mouth” and residents had not wanted to give her the gift of citizenship “if she annoys us and doesn’t respect our traditions”.
Ms Holten told The Local she was "relieved" she had been granted citizenship.
And most of all, still a vegan + activist:
Ms Holten said she intends to continue to campaign for animal rights.
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@doctorjones said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I like how that's a PNG. Was it supposed to animate? Was it supposed to be a link? We may never know.
(And yeah, I've seen the video that it came from.)
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@anotherusername I don't get it.
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@anotherusername it's clearly a symptom of not having enough coffee this morning.
I've fixed it now, enjoy!
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@jbert said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@anotherusername I don't get it.
https://imgur.com/gallery/tMhKO
I hadn't seen this one, I guess. I've seen it done, but not by someone dumb enough to do it with his face right above it when it spurts.
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@polygeekery There's the problem...
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"The Milton Organ"
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I hadn't seen this one, I guess. I've seen it done, but not by someone dumb enough to do it with his face right above it when it spurts.
Wait for it...
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@doctorjones said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Wait for it...
Not funny unless you have looping turned on.
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@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@doctorjones said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Wait for it...
Not funny unless you have looping turned on.
Isn't that the default? Booooo to the spoilsports! :-P
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@doctorjones said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@doctorjones said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Wait for it...
Not funny unless you have looping turned on.
Isn't that the default? Booooo to the spoilsports! :-P
I saw it immediately, there's a significant jump.
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I think we can all agree that the DNA of water is H2O
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@hungrier
No sheep should changed to 'Automatically Roasted Sheep'
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@luhmann said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
No sheep should changed to 'Automatically Roasted Sheep'
Some of “No Sheep” is because it is jungle.
Stewed, not roasted.
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@dkf
Is there a part that is made out of wooden stakes? I'm more in the mood for kebab
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@boner Seems right on point for a porn company named Poundland.
Yes, I know they are a store that sells stuff for a dollar, but their name would be good on a shop that sells dildos and such.
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It's all kicking off now
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@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
but their name would be good on a shop that sells dildos and such
Some would say that they do sell things like that (maybe don't click on em at work)
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@boner They apparently haven't heard of the Streisand effect.
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- Why is that guy so angry?
- Why is he sitting on a motorcycle or large scooter?
- What did he think was going to happen to the watermelon?
- Especially since from the number of rubber bands he has it looks like he prepared this days in advance
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