📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™
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@boomzilla
And thus, Markovgerian 0.4.19 did fail at the task appointed to it, and lo, it was forcibly retired.
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oh no they'll be infringing on our wha ted ailywtf trademark if we don't buy five expensive domain names from their registrar! whatever shall we do?
I'll just Google the name of the guy who sent me this email...
oh no there's another guy with the same name at a different chinese domain registrar who is a scammer! and they use the same writing style!
I had better spend $618.03 per year on these VERY IMPORTANT!!! chinese domain names for a trademark that doesn't exist!
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@ben_lubar So, did you send it on to the CEO? I'm sure Alex wouldn't mind a laugh.
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Apparently "my company" sells things made of steel?
Protip to potential scammers: do a little research and don't waste your time attacking sysadmins.
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@ben_lubar Well, they know you're an expert in wooden tables. So they are giving you the opportunity to expand to steel tables. And given the number of TABLE that are being talked about, you probably need the kind of amount we see in the pictures.
(although I'm not sure why you would want "deformed" steel... maybe for all those ALTER statements?)
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@remi said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
you're an expert in wooden
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@boomzilla
E_WINDOWS_FOUND
You stole that screenshot, didn't you?
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@Luhmann Hmm, how do you read Amy offering him a steel bar, then?
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@Onyx said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
You stole that screenshot, didn't you?
No. A cow-orker sent it to me.
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@boomzilla said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
@Onyx said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
You stole that screenshot, didn't you?
No. A cow-orker sent it to me.
So.... Accomplice?
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Somebody is convinced that I am a building contractor. I get several emails a day from a company that gives webinars on topics such as "Copyright Law for Construction Plans," "Construction Payment and Performance Bond Fundamentals," "Prevailing Wage Law," ADA compliance, etc. I've been known to enjoy making sawdust, but I don't do it for a living, much less run a business. At least the spam for IT seminars is kinda, sorta, slightly, maybe a little relevant, and I only get it once a week or so.
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@ben_lubar this thread needs the
SPAM EMAILS
tag me thinks.... ;-)Hi Accalai[sic],
Hope you’re wrapping up your summer activities and getting ready for some fall festivities!
We just enjoyed Music Midtown here in Atlanta and I plan on tubing and spending some time out on the lake to wrap up this summer. Hope you have some fun activities planned in the great outdoors too!
The Salesforce market is thriving and we have some new clients and exciting new positions that we are working on. Please review the opportunities below and if you, or someone you may know, are interested please contact us immediately at (555) 555-1212.
what the actual? you are cold calling recruiting me, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT YOUR FALL PLANS?!
as for the
[sic]
they misspelled my IRL alias so i preserved the error when i translated the email to mynative tonguereal name
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@accalia said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
you are cold calling recruiting me
For a Salesforce position, no less…
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@dkf said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
@accalia said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
you are cold calling recruiting me
For a Salesforce position, no less…
yeah. there's that kick in the teeth too.
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@accalia
Well, you know, fall is the start of cold calling season, after all...Filed under: Paging @groaner
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@accalia said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
they misspelled my IRL alias
....what?! but... IIRC your IRL alias is one of the many names privileged enough to be found on keychains at rest stops, right? How the hell do you misspell it?!
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@Yamikuronue said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
How the hell do you misspell it?!
Recruiters are not hired for their intelligence. I've seen recruiters misspell their own name.
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Got a fairly standard "help me get my late father's money out of the country" email the other day. The only notable thing about it was that the grammar wasn't atrocious, and the attached photos supposedly of the woman reaching out to me. I decided to have some fun and reply
I'm sorry to hear that. How late is your father? My father is late coming home from buying cigarettes, he went out 6 years ago and never came home. My mum keeps bringing men home to look for clues in her bedroom. I think she talks to him on the phone because she tells him she's coming but she always stays in her bedroom
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...
I mean, maybe? But I'd have to get ready first...
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Holy shit the spammers have discovered emoji!
Most of those are animated in the browser, of course.
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@boomzilla said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
Holy shit the spammers have discovered emoji!
That's one of my key indicators it's spam, nobody I legitimately email with actually puts those in the subject line...
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@Tsaukpaetra said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
That's one of my key indicators it's spam,
I don't recall ever getting anything in my inbox with them.
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@boomzilla said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
That's one of my key indicators it's spam,
I don't recall ever getting anything in my inbox with them.
QED.
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@boomzilla said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
I don't recall ever getting anything in my inbox with them.
I get quasi-legitimate emails with Unicode non-letter characters, but not emoji.
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@HardwareGeek I got an email from a pizza place with the pizza emoji. But at least in the inbox view they weren't the colorful kind of emoji:
It was a good deal, and we did take advantage of it.
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@boomzilla said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
we did take advantage of it.
I hope you at least bought it dinner first.
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@izzion said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
I hope you at least bought it dinner first.
I bought it as dinner. Does that count?
Filed Under: Hannibal
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Yes, that's the entire message. No, there are no hidden links or other HTML content, it's plain text.
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@anonymous234 I wonder if it has been run through a filter that removes the very worst of attachments, stuff like known strong matches for trojans (or simply anything with a filename matching
*.exe
, like the filter at my work).
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Jun 15
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(text message from $BankName) Did you know $InsuranceCompany has won $AwardYouHaventHeardAbout, $YearlyAwardYouveHeardAbout and $AnotherAwardYouveNeverHeardAbout?
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(thinking) No, I did not know that. Thanks for letting me know, I guess.
Jul 13
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(text message from same sender) Did you know $InsuranceCompany has won $AwardYouHaventHeardAbout, $YearlyAwardYouveHeardAbout and $AnotherAwardYouveNeverHeardAbout?
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(thinking) Uhm, yes. You told me that last month. In fact, scrolling up a bit I can see the previous message in this conversation with the same exact text.
Aug 10
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Did you know $InsuranceCompany has won $AwardYouHaventHeardAbout, $YearlyAwardYouveHeardAbout and $AnotherAwardYouveNeverHeardAbout?
Sep 15
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Did you know $InsuranceCompany has won $AwardYouHaventHeardAbout, $YearlyAwardYouveHeardAbout and $AnotherAwardYouveNeverHeardAbout?
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(sighs) I guess this is going to be a monthly thing now, huh?
Oct 12
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@boomzilla said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
But hey, at least you have Donald Trump working as your secretary and reminding you what day it is.
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Heh...
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bonus points, it was cc'd to a bunch of mail addresses, including the paraguay consulate
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So i logged into an emailbox i set up for @zoidberg a while ago and found a spam email there......
i'll let Slack-me explain:
<accalia> "Stop Nipple Ringing": "Stop the Constant Ringing-Buzzing of Nipples Today. Video 0908342"
<accalia> what the actual spam?
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@accalia said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
Nipple Ringing
Sounds like I need more excitement in my life.
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@anotherusername twice in one day?!?
HEY IDIOTS, THEY'RE PHISHING FOR YOUR PASSWORD... QUIT CLICKING THE FUCKING LINK.
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See you in court!
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1: Not just "moderately mandatory", but "extremely mandatory".
2: Thomas! Less Goofing Off, More Building!
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@Boner Is that really a spam? I mean, what would be the point of the spammer to send that? Is the "case details" link a phising one?
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@remi no links. I don't know, maybe harvesting replies from idiots?
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@Boner unless you're separated from that court by an ocean, it might not be a bad idea to look up the court's number and call them to double check.
Could just be that they got your email address by mistake. It implies that a subpoena should arrive separately, so if you haven't received any subpoena then that's probably a sign that they got the wrong email address.
It really doesn't look like spam, at least not to me.
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@Boner said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
no links.
Not even "Start time and case details"? Weird. Maybe it was phishing and got stripped?
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Yea, weird. Anyway, it wasn't sent to me, it was sent to a cow orker I don't like. walks away whistling.
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Got a "personal loan" spam email this morning. The email itself is unremarkable, so I won't bother posting it. What is unusual, though, is the address to which it was sent. It was sent to one of my single-use addresses, used only for registering with a specific company and never for any other purpose. Almost all my spam is sent to my primary address; it's rare that it gets sent to an address that I can trace where the spammer got it. Thanks, Adobe; not only do I get all your junk mail, but now you've leaked my address to other spammers.
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@HardwareGeek said in 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™:
Got a "personal loan" spam email this morning. The email itself is unremarkable, so I won't bother posting it. What is unusual, though, is the address to which it was sent. It was sent to one of my single-use addresses, used only for registering with a specific company and never for any other purpose. Almost all my spam is sent to my primary address; it's rare that it gets sent to an address that I can trace where the spammer got it. Thanks, Adobe; not only do I get all your junk mail, but now you've leaked my address to other spammers.
???
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@Tsaukpaetra I haven't gotten anything from them recently, and the only reports I can recall getting not-recently were, based on the sites that were breached, almost certainly my daughter's account (on my domain; that's why I got reports).