Dumb things being crowdfunded.
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@cvi said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
I'm not a morning person, so waking up sucks whatever way it happens.
QFT
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@blek said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Or do anything but display time and wake you up, just like every other alarm clock ever made.
My alarm clock can
lookup nudie picksbrowse the Internet and check my mail, tyvm
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@blek said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Or do anything but display time and wake you up, just like every other alarm clock ever made.
When I got the current alarm clock (that it integrates a light that slowly turns on before the alarm time so I don't squint into the first light I turn on after getting up and because it's more pleasant to get up in light than dark), I intentionally got the slightly older model that isn't bluetooth-enabled yet (I don't need an app to set up an alarm), but even that can wake you up with a radio. No, I am not using that feature.
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@HardwareGeek said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Presumably by setting your alarm to wake you up to the sound of talk radio
, or your phone reading you your Twatter feed,or something like that. Does anybody do that?(not the Twitter part, that would be extraordinarily daft, if I even had a Twitter account to start with)
It's actually somewhat hard to find an app that does this (=radio) properly, because apparently the way alarms work in Android changed across versions so the developer has to stay on top of it to provide a working alarm and some apps that used to have an alarm function have removed it as they couldn't make it work (or spend time/effort to do it). And then there are tons of tiny features that make it more bearable but that developers sometimes add and sometimes not (such as progressively increasing the sound, ideally over a controllable time span, or correctly remembering the volume settings in the rest of the system and not just overriding it with the alarm volume, or make it easy to have several alarms for different days and easily turn them on/off or skip them, or turn off the alarm with a single press rather than having to go through a confirmation dialog or a snooze phase first...).
I had to change again my alarm application a few weeks ago as the previous one stopped working (I think the internet feed for the radio I use changed and the app was apparently neither updated, nor configurable), and lost a few hours trying random shit before finding one that seems right.
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@HardwareGeek said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@cvi said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Some Android update ago, the alarm clock on the phone started talking by default.
That must be a more recent update than I have. (There are advantages to having a hugely out of date version. No doubt I am missing many important security fixes, but I am also missing new "features".) The alarms that I have are set to either built-in musical jingles (one non-default; the rest default) or MP3s in my music collection. No speech synthesis. Also, it starts vibrating before it starts playing music, and I often shut it off before the music even starts (and often before I actually wake up, or at least with no conscious recollection later of having awakened).
Yeah my alarm is completely configurable. I have it on a two minute ramp up with patterned vibration.
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@remi said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
lost a few hours trying random shit before finding one that seems right.
I've been almost completely satisfied with this one for like a decade now.
I've been told Android 11 fucks with its ability to open over the lockscreen but I haven't updated my phone to check.
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@HardwareGeek said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@cvi said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Some Android update ago, the alarm clock on the phone started talking by default.
That must be a more recent update than I have. (There are advantages to having a hugely out of date version. No doubt I am missing many important security fixes, but I am also missing new "features".) The alarms that I have are set to either built-in musical jingles (one non-default; the rest default) or MP3s in my music collection. No speech synthesis. Also, it starts vibrating before it starts playing music, and I often shut it off before the music even starts (and often before I actually wake up, or at least with no conscious recollection later of having awakened).
My Pixel's up to date and the alarm clock doesn't talk either. Thank goodness!
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@Tsaukpaetra said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Yeah my alarm is completely configurable.
Wish mine was. There's no configuration in organic matter. (When the dogs say it's time, it's time.)
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@Tsaukpaetra said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
I have it on a two minute ramp up with patterned vibration.
And you keep it in your underwear? I am in no way surprised.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@remi said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
lost a few hours trying random shit before finding one that seems right.
I've been almost completely satisfied with this one for like a decade now.
Too late, I've already switched to that other one that I found after a while (I'd have to look to find the exact name, because of course it contains "alarm" and "clock" but that's about as distinctive as looking for an app that contains "app" in the name...). I'm not gonna switch again if I can avoid it, though if I find that the one I now have doesn't work, I'll keep your recommendation in mind (so thanks).
I've been told Android 11 fucks with its ability to open over the lockscreen but I haven't updated my phone to check.
Yeah, that's what I was saying. Apps work until they suddenly stop working. Or rather, until some users say they don't and some say they still do and maybe it depends on your phone, or the hacks that your phone manufacturer did on top of Android, or some combination of settings, or maybe just the phase of the moon. Basically, it's random.
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@cvi said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Some Android update ago, the alarm clock on the phone started talking by default. Like, it reads out the name/description of the alarm in question, as well as some sort of greeting and the current time.
Must be Android 11 or some vendor specific addon/replacement, because Android 10's version doesn't have it.
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@hungrier
I was thinking that; it doesn't sound so much like an OS thing as it does an OEM feature.I've set mine to read out the time because I use the snooze function a lot (deliberately). But it's not that clever about how it does it. "6:45" is "six forty-five" but "7:00" is "seven hundred hours". Didn't the programmers at least know about the word "o'clock"?
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@Watson So it reads it out in military time, but I bet there isn't even a setting for it to yell and swear and call you names
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@hungrier said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@Watson So it reads it out in military time
Almost, but it misses the initial "oh-".
YOU''VE HIT SNOOZE THREE TIMES ALREADY, MAGGOT!
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@Watson said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@hungrier said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@Watson So it reads it out in military time
Almost, but it misses the initial "oh-".
YOU''VE HIT SNOOZE THREE TIMES ALREADY, MAGGOT!
Eureka! Peltier thermal-grid snooze button! I'M OFF TO KICKSTARTER!
ed. he went nowhere.
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@Gribnit said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Peltier thermal-grid snooze button!
So you can only snooze if you're too hot on one side?
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@Tsaukpaetra said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
So you can only snooze if you're too hot on one side?
No, wrong side. You finger freezes fast onto the snooze button.
Filed under: Do not lick the snooze button.
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@cvi said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@Tsaukpaetra said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
So you can only snooze if you're too hot on one side?
No, wrong side. You finger freezes fast onto the snooze button.
Filed under: Do not lick the snooze button.
The snooze button feels like The Fire That Freezes.
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@hungrier said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@cvi said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Some Android update ago, the alarm clock on the phone started talking by default. Like, it reads out the name/description of the alarm in question, as well as some sort of greeting and the current time.
Must be Android 11 or some vendor specific addon/replacement, because Android 10's version doesn't have it.
I have Android 11 (Pixel 2) and I've never heard the alarm talk, nor is there anything about that in the settings.
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Saw this on Facebook. There's a control panel with buttons right there, what the hell would I need an app for? So I can change the height while I'm in another country? To fuck with my cat?!
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@blek said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Saw this on Facebook. There's a control panel with buttons right there, what the hell would I need an app for? So I can change the height while I'm in another country? To fuck with my cat?!
Then you could disable the buttons, preventing people from accidentally crushing you by leaning on your desk.
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@blek said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Saw this on Facebook. There's a control panel with buttons right there, what the hell would I need an app for? So I can change the height while I'm in another country? To fuck with my cat?!
To be fair that crappy ad makes it seem like the app is a main feature, whereas the actual campaign barely mentions that the app can be used to adjust the height of the desk.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ergoplax/ergoplax-ergonomic-adjustable-desk
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@blek said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Saw this on Facebook. There's a control panel with buttons right there, what the hell would I need an app for? So I can change the height while I'm in another country? To fuck with my cat?!
Up, down, maybe a couple presets. What's the other 3 buttons for?
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@PleegWat said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Up, down, maybe a couple presets. What's the other 3 buttons for?
I went looking for the answer to this question and mother of god there are just so many standing desks with apps on Kickstarter that I really think we need to use the entirety of the world's nuclear stockpile to just erase the Earth and let this grand experiment resume in a few thousand millenia.
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@Polygeekery said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
we need to use the entirety of the world's nuclear stockpile to just erase the Earth and let this grand experiment resume in a few thousand millenia.
It won't work. There's almost no way to ensure no humans survive, and really we'd want to eliminate the entire order Primates.
On the plus side, on the whole, most things aren't much more or less useless than this desk.
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@PleegWat said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Up, down, maybe a couple presets. What's the other 3 buttons for?
Pause, rewind, and fast-forward.
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This one has built-in digital assistant like Google Assistant and Amazon Alexa but like.....not those.....it has its own version that they developed so I am sure it won't suffer any issues with vendor buy-in, built-in charging for USB devices, built-in wireless charging, Bluetooth app control of the fucking thing, a bag hook for purses, its own app store because it has Android built-in, and the fucking app even nags you if you sit too long.
I saw another one that uses AI/ML to observe your seating position and it will change the height of your monitors to attempt to correct your posture.
Every single fucking thing that is on Kickstarter is horrible. Every single new thing on Kickstarter is more horrible than the last. We really need to do something about this or else Kickstarter will absolutely be the place that whatever destroys mankind is born and it will all be crowdfunded.
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I remember when this fucking thing came out:
$20 for a "desk" that won't last 20 days and that is only if you don't set a drink on it because if you do it won't last 20 minutes.
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@PleegWat said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Up, down, maybe a couple presets. What's the other 3 buttons for?
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@Polygeekery said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
This one has built-in digital assistant like Google Assistant and Amazon Alexa but like.....not those.....it has its own version that they developed so I am sure it won't suffer any issues with vendor buy-in, built-in charging for USB devices, built-in wireless charging, Bluetooth app control of the fucking thing, a bag hook for purses, its own app store because it has Android built-in, and the fucking app even nags you if you sit too long.
The campaign is from 2015. It actually seems like these says they've sacked off whatever the Kickstarter monstrosity was and realised the error of their ways.
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@Polygeekery said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
I remember when this fucking thing came out:
$20 for a "desk" that won't last 20 days and that is only if you don't set a drink on it because if you do it won't last 20 minutes.
I was going to ask how long you expected a $20 piece of furniture to last, because that doesn't sound unreasonable.
But then I looked it up and apparently it costs $140, so
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@GuyWhoKilledBear Looking at the Kickstarter, $20 (NZD) is just to get your name printed on one of them.
Also, FWIW this guy has a great deal more faith in the product than one would think reasonable:
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@Polygeekery said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Kickstarter will absolutely be the place that whatever destroys mankind is born and it will all be crowdfunded.
Good idea.
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@blek said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
So I can change the height while I'm in another country? To fuck with my cat?!
Expected amount of security: negligible.
So, yeah, I can see the point. Not to fuck with the cat, but you know, a cow-orkers desk suddenly starting to rise and lower for unexplainable reasons? I can get behind that.
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@cvi said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
a cow-orkers desk suddenly starting to rise and lower for unexplainable reasons? I can get behind that.
Do it with sufficient awareness and timing, you could probably cause at least a hilarious if not fatal injury.
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@Gribnit Yes, that idea has potential. I've nearly managed to rip out an electrical socket with an adjustable desk by accident...
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@Polygeekery Very appropriate for Silly Valley, though. Remotely working senior engineer in the morning, parking lot hobo in the afternoon
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@loopback0 said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@Polygeekery said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
This one has built-in digital assistant like Google Assistant and Amazon Alexa but like.....not those.....it has its own version that they developed so I am sure it won't suffer any issues with vendor buy-in, built-in charging for USB devices, built-in wireless charging, Bluetooth app control of the fucking thing, a bag hook for purses, its own app store because it has Android built-in, and the fucking app even nags you if you sit too long.
The campaign is from 2015. It actually seems like these says they've sacked off whatever the Kickstarter monstrosity was and realised the error of their ways.
They now sell a "working pod" / office garden shed:
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@JBert said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
They now sell a "working pod" / office garden shed:
I'm afraid to see why they describe it as "autonomous".
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@Watson said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
I'm afraid to see why they describe it as "autonomous".
Solar panels? (Not gonna read the article either)
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@Watson said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@JBert said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
They now sell a "working pod" / office garden shed:
I'm afraid to see why they describe it as "autonomous".
It lets you get away from the wife/kids for a couple of hours?
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@Watson said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
I'm afraid to see why they describe it as "autonomous".
Just you wait until it's Fully AutonomousTM
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@Watson said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@JBert said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
They now sell a "working pod" / office garden shed:
I'm afraid to see why they describe it as "autonomous".
That's because the company is named "λutonomous". And if that isn't hipster-ish enough, take a look at their contact address:
human@autonomous.ai
Get it? Because they're "an AI company"...
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@Watson said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@JBert said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
They now sell a "working pod" / office garden shed:
I'm afraid to see why they describe it as "autonomous".
It's the company name.
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@JBert said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
.ai
Anguilla isn't that bad place to run a company from, warm, nice beaches, bars with cheap rum …
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@JBert said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@Watson said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@JBert said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
They now sell a "working pod" / office garden shed:
I'm afraid to see why they describe it as "autonomous".
That's because the company is named "λutonomous". And if that isn't hipster-ish enough, take a look at their contact address:
human@autonomous.ai
Get it? Because they're "an AI company"...
Lambda pronounced as A? sigh.
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@PleegWat said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Lambda pronounced as A? sigh.
Borat had De pronounced as A, so… .
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@Watson said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@JBert said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
They now sell a "working pod" / office garden shed:
I'm afraid to see why they describe it as "autonomous".
Chicken legs on the bottom
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@PleegWat said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Lambda pronounced as A? sigh.
Whatever. I'm going to pronounce it Lootonomous and they can't convince me otherwise.
Filed under: the joke is of course that I will probably never ever think of them again, let alone talk about them.