We once had a customer not being able to log into the application their company was using. Raised a ticket and the gentleman who was working with us stationed at their company said he will take care of it. Come back to office on Monday and login issues are still there and heads are rolling. I got into the database and I see all plaintext passwords. Turns out the gentleman had gone into the database, thought encrypted passwords were actually passwords that got corrupted and that's why they looked funny too. So replaced all the passwords with just 'a' and 'admin' and what not. Obviously when logging in, the encrypted version of the password did not match the plain 'a' I the database and that error dialog in Windows with that annoying af sound was popping up one too many times. Add to this the direct updating of passwords without updating the table with individual password policies for each user caused issues for so many months with the guys in support calling us way too many times. Sigh. Pissy.
Best posts made by stillwater
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RE: Why do people do this? Episode 3
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RE: Tsaukpaetra Button
@tharpa said in Tsaukpaetra Button:
This is a just a thought, FWIW. I'm not volunteering to implement it
Extreme caution. How many of years of IT made you this way?
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MAKE THE MOST SHITTY WEBSITE EVER AND MAKE EVERYONE USE IT COUNTRYWIDE!!!!!
Okay this is going to be a long one. A long fucking well deserved rant.
In India, A few years ago, there was a govt issued unique number that was required for tax purposes, starting a business, opening a bank account, what not. This is called a Permanent Account Number AKA PAN. This is the equivalent of probably what a National Insurance number is in the UK.
There is also another govt issued unique number called the AADHAAR number that is equivalent to Social Security number. If you don't have this, you are fucked. You cannot do anything from starting a business or opening a bank account or nothing without an AADHAAR number. If you don't have this, you cannot apply for a passport. You don't have this, you cannot enjoy the benefits that someone with the AADHAAR number has. This one is used more as an ID than anything and has all your biometric data unlike the PAN number.
Let's call the PAN number the TAX NUMBER and the AADHAAR the ID NUMBER from now on.
Alright, now even though the ID NUMBER is pretty much required to be linked to every fucking thing from a Job Application to Bank accounts to even your mobile phone carrier, the TAX number is required. Why do you need the TAX number when you have my goddamn ID NUMBER which has all my biometric information? No one knows. I usually get a "yeah we know but ummm yeah we need that ummm we can't go ahead without the TAX NUMBER".
Okay fair enough. Now I just do the bare minimal interaction required with the fucking government because everything is a sloooooooooowwwwwwww painful process which sucks your energy, rips your soul apart, and shits on your head. I was minding my own business without having to think about any of this.
Now, a year ago, I lost my card on which TAX NUMBER is printed on. I need that physical card with the TAX number if i'm getting a job, opening a new bank account or getting a loan(you still give the ID NUMBER in all these scenarios too)
There are two ways you can apply for a lost TAX NUMBER card.
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Go to these government offices where you fill the physical forms and pay some money. End of story.
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Do it online!
I'd rather jerk off with a sand paper glued with broken glass and dipped in lava than visit a government fucking office(for the ones who think "oh they must not be that bad", read on till the end) so I decided to do it online.
Some context here, I don't know where this Idea came from or who was responsible for it but the government wante to make India digital whatever the fuck that means. Do everything online, cashless transactions everywhere don't use paper money blah blah motherfuck. So the powers that be decided to make websites for everything from buying a piece of land to applying for a passport and whatnott ooooh so advanced so tech savvy oooh yeah.
Back to getting my TAX NUMBER card re-issued.
DOING IT ONLINE
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Go to the website fill in a few basic details and click enter.
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Wait for anywhere from 2 to 5 minutes for the page to load the next screen or for an error to pop up. Repeat steps 1 and 2 until you get to the next screen. I personally had to have a go at it for around 8 - 9 times. It is made and managed by a bunch of Indians ofcourse it is gonna be bad. No problem.
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You get a form with a bunch of fields under different sections and a bunch of checkboxes next to each section heading with no caption next to it. If you are having a hard time imagining this, think of a normal form but with a bunch of caption-less checkboxes sprinkled here and there. There is another document that you are supposed to read before you fill in the form that says "There are a bunch of checkboxes on the form don't check them or you are fucked". Very weird. Okay moving on.
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You get to put in your ID NUMBER details in this form. But wait how does the system know I am giving my ID NUMBER and not somebody else's ID NUMBER? Maybe a scanned copy needs to be submitted? NOPE. We are fucking paperless and digital you lil bitch. Enter your ID NUMBER, we will send you a One time password to the Phone number linked with your ID NUMBER and input the One time password. Easy peasy. This step is mandatory.
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Pay a couple dollars. Click submit. Wait for the next page to load. This takes anywhere from 2 to 5 minutes. And then finally BOOOOOOM!!! "Your application form has errors! Please try again"
I encountered this error for a total of 8 times. Everytime I discovered one WTF after the other. The reasons why it encountered an error each time was
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The checkbox with no description at the top has to be checked because otherwise, there is no data that is passed onto the next screen.
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When you enter the good old ID NUMBER, it says "Do not enter your Name. The ID NUMBER LINKING MAGIC SYSTEM will autofill it for you". It then fails in the end cos it does not autofill, fucking obvious, should have known. However the textbox is grayed out. You gotta go to dev tools, make it editable and then fill in your name.
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Uh oh your name is wrong. This one is a very interesting WTF. This is because the fieldnames in the form do not match the fieldnames that contain my name from the ID NUMBER system. What I mean by this is
FIELDS FirstName | Last Name | Surname
ID NUMBER DATA stillwater | Not Available | surname
TAX NUMBER FORM stillwater | surname | Not Available
Do you see the mismatch? Okay fine, I will just leave the surname blank in my TAX NUMBER form. Nope, it is a required field. I had to finally fill it this way.
FIELDS FIRST NAME | LAST NAME | SURNAME
ID NUMBER DATA stillwater | Not Available | surname
TAX NUMBER FORM <BLANK> | stillwater | Not AvailableThis apparently fucking worked.
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Because of step 3, I'm supposed to check the empty checkbox above the box that says Last Name (Remember I was told not to check the fucking checkboxes) to get to the next step.
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Remember the One time password that I am supposed to get, yeah never comes some times. Repeat the whole process with all the magic steps till step 4 so that hopefully you'll get your one time password.
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Enter the one time password. You entered the password wrong. I double checked, yeah no I entered the exact same thing, crapped out on me. This happened a good three to four times and sometimes multiple passwords were sent one after the other even though it was only requested once.
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After three to four hours of pain and tears, and the One time password comes and everything is rainbows and unicorns I get the final slap in the face. The ID NUMBER system interfaces with the TAX NUMBER system to fill my address taken from the ID NUMBER database in my TAX NUMBER form and this is the step where it fails saying
"The ID NUMBER address is longer than the Address field in the TAX NUMBER form. Please fill in a physical form and send it via post"
I AM IMPRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS UNREAL WOW THIS IS AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
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RE: NEW SKYPE SUCKS BIG GREEN DONKEY DICKS, hows that for a longer title????
@AlexMedia said in NEW SKYPE SUCKS BIG GREEN DONKEY DICKS, hows that for a longer title????:
A few weeks ago, Skype updated itself on my by now 6 years old Macbook Air. It went from Skype 7 ("Skype Classic") to the brand spanking new Skype 8, which is built onElectron.Fuuuuucccckkk
it was godawful. Its performance was absolutely abysmal, to the point where it was unusable. Thankfully I could upgrade it back to Skype 7, but this option is being axed next month.TLDR'd for us.
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Agile taken tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo far
I saw this
I thought it was a joke and he was making shit up.
Then I read this
http://www.full-stackagile.com/2016/02/14/team-organisation-squads-chapters-tribes-and-guilds/
Wow. What in the name of fuck?!
I think this is on us because instead of putting a stop to this we stood on the sidelines and laughed at it and then suddenly we're here. I hope this entire thing is satire like the OP from codingconfessional says.
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RE: Australia transcends mathematics
@Douglasac said in Australia transcends mathematics:
I just didn't have anything interesting or relevant to say.
Don't let that ever stop you from posting!
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RE: Hmmmm....
@ben_lubar It's all fun and jokes up till when a frustrated user looks at shit like this, throws the computer out the window which falls directly on top of you walking outside the building.
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I'm done with MS and their .NET Core Bullshit
I'm getting the feeling the Docs have generally turned to shit over the whole .NET Core 1.1 -> 2.0 -> 2.1 migrations. I was looking up something that was not working the way it should and the now that the docs feedback are basically github issues, the comment thread went something like
(This is for ASP .NET Core 2.1)
Poor sod #1: Hey X is not working like it is supposed to be?
Poor sod #2: Did you look at the docs at that link?
Poor sod: Yeah but what is the answer to my question though?
MS Team guy #1: Oh yeah You could do that in previous versions, not sure how it is done in the current version, paging MS Team Guy #2
MS Team guy #2: Oh yeah that's a bug in version 2.1 lulzHmm, alright seems like a lot of fun, let us head to Github and read the whole thread. More of the same "shit is not working like it is supposed to work" and then somebody from the MS team drops this
"Yeah I hear you this is probably something we should address in 2.2, agreed?"
Holy fuck. So let us get this straight. You say Core 2.1 is ready for production use. Then there is a buggy feature which fucks up what existed in the full .NET framework and then also in .NET Core 2.0. borked in 2.1 which you're fixing in 2.2.0 preview-1
The docs are basically a mix of the previous version, the current version with the breaking changes or new features are posted as comments to issues on fucking Github.
If I want to get shit done, I gotta basically go read up the docs and the Github comments to actually learn how to use the fucking thing and after I implement it, when I wanna upgrade to the next version, lo and behold breaking changes that will be addressed in the version next to that. SO MUCH FUN.
This is the last fucking straw. .NET Core 1.1 to 2.0 was forgivable. Fucking around with the documentation like this is just wasting my fucking time.
I am done with these motherfuckers. I hate the alternative but guess it's gonna be Python / Django for me. They atleast have documentation that is a fucking joy to read.
EDIT: GitHub thread at
and
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RE: Commuting WTF Thread
I was unfortunately stuck with a kid in the seat behind me for a ~12 hr ride that started around 8 pm. So this kid A (~8 years old) was kicking and punching the seat repeatedly in a very consistent fashion. I knew this was not gonna stop. So I did these things in the following order.
- Told the kid not to play with the seat (which the kid promptly ignored).
- Told the parent who was on the next seat that the kid is kicking and punching the seat and it is very unpleasant for me. Mom says to the kid to stop doing it once after which the kid again does. Repeated this step twice and gave up.
- Now the father and the kid's sibling Kid B (~5 years old) are sitting on seats that are on the opposite side of the aisle behind me. Both the kid and the father have passed the fuck out with snoring included.
Everyone eventually sleeps and around 2 am I see that the kid A has reclined the seat and stretched out her legs on top of my seat almost on top of my head. I pushed it off and immediately she put it back on like a reflex. Did it twice to no avail. This time I pushed her feet off the top of my seat and instantaneously pressed the button on my seat that would make my seat come back to its straight 90 degree position, and the kid put her feet where the seat was there just a moment ago and it came crashing down hard on the floor. Started wailing and crying and I went back to sleep. There was kicking now and then and it was a very fucky sleep for me.
7:30 AM
Kid A and Kid B are running up and down the aisle and playing and creating a ruckus. I've got an interview in a few hours and I am sleep deprived and pissed and my level headedness levels were really low. So Kid B tries to stand in the aisle, grab the armrests of seats on either side and go the good old swing and falls the fuck down with a crash. Father (who I can tell is either super drill sergeant like or hates his family or hates everything that exists) comes and this happens
Dad: "What happened why are you crying?"
Kid B: "Kid A pushed me down and kicked me"
Kid A: "WHaaaaaaaaat? That never happened"
Kid B: "No you pushed me down and then kicked me"
Kid A: "You are lying. I did no such thing"
Kid B: Points to me and goes "Daddy he was watching all this. You ask him if she pushed me down and kicked me"
Me: Ummm Yeah she did.Dad indian-whacked Kid A and whacked her well. I had absolutely no remorse. This was my only way to get back at this kid. What was odd though was the fact the Kid B was giving me weird looks afterwards like I was a lying fucking scumbag even though it was her lie :/
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RE: I had nooo idea. Holy shit!
Thread derailed from Amazon to Time zone fuckery in no time. Sweet!
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Nobody shares Drunk better than this.
This seems like a good idea. I'm pretty sure everyone knows about @lucas1's drunken ramblings. I CBA to hunt down different Threads where he gets drunk and hurls abuses at people.
So @lucas1 , Please be kind as to drop in here and post anything you want.
Thanks in advance.
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RE: Indian Recruiters
Oh yeah and these people are stupid as fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk and have no fucking idea how to have a conversation. This is a conversation that I had last week
HR: You're a .NET Dev?
Me: Yes
HR: You know ASP.NET MVC ?
Me: Yes
- Basically asked Do you know <language/framework> for every single thing I listed on my resume *
HR: You know Angular and all that ?
Me: Yes
HR: How do you know both Angular and .NET ?
Me: What do you mean ?
HR: Nevermind. How much is your current CTC
- By this point I am extremely pissed
Me: Why do you need to know that ?
HR: I need that information so I can forward it to my boss
Me: You don't have bands and corresponding fixed salary ranges ? why do you need to know this ?
HR: Yeah we have all that but we need to know your current CTC.
Me: Alright. I make XXXX and I -
HR: Oh shi- * Hangs up the fucking phone *
- XXXX is basically equivalent to 13000 dollars per year
- XXXX was the amount of money I had to settle for when I had to get my foot in the door. I've had raises since then.
- I've learnt that 99% of the .NET Shops hire very average cargo cult level programmers pay them peanuts and ship products that are absolute shit. A real actual fucking example is a guy I know who writes some of the most horrible code I have ever seen, basically broken af stored procedures and fuckall XAML day in day out for 7 years now makes about 9000 USD per year. The developers are shit and don't get paid more. They don't demand more money because they know they are shit and don't really have anything to deserve more pay. What this means is if you're a .NET Developer who knows your shit and can make high quality software, you're gonna get paid peanuts just because every other motherfucker who has the same skillset and years of experience does not know shit and they only get paid peanuts so why the fuck would we pay you more ?? . You just can't be a good .NET Dev in India anymore. Oh yeah, Azure is the new .NET now. That's fucked too. Wonderfuckingful.
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RE: One final niggly detail
@cartman82 said in One final niggly detail:
She gave a range 5K-10K. Not sure why.
I think you should ask for 15k settle for 12k and whine and moan and groan and take 10k. Just cos they tried to pull a fast one on you. Scummy. Very scummy.
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RE: One final niggly detail
@cartman82 Did not know "oh yeah we were a little 'scrappy' and forgot to document some really important stuff.kthxbye" was an acceptable excuse for a company.
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I work for Microsoft
Got epiphanied.
What started as a very part time thing has turned into something bigger.
I've logged around 17 issues on GitHub on .NET Core stuff over a span of few months.
Issues at first, then steps to repro, screenshots, the whole works. These we're mainly around azure and related deployment CLIs and tooling, the portal breaking, etc.
I've spent over 30 hours give or take basically doing QA for fucking MS.
Now how much money are they saving by letting others do their QA for them? Can someone good with numbers give an estimate?
Shameful practice
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Extremely user friendly websites amazing awesome so friendly
How in the name of fuck am I supposed to read the content if I have
- A window that takes the first 20% of the page with a bigass box with buttons
- A full page fucking ad
- Cookie policy that takes another 20% of the bottom.
Why? Nobody gives a shit about things like this anymore? One of these I can understand but all three at the same time? WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I HOPE THESE PEOPLE DIE IN A CAR FIRE FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@pie_flavor Finally something that's funny. I've had a variant of this happen to me.
Me: No raises this year then?
Manager: umm no.
Me: But I've worked the hardest
Manager: Yeah but no raiseNext week
Me: I quit
Manager: Why?
Me: I'm not getting compensated enough
Manager: But i did not think you'd just quit!
Me: Yeah cos the new guys offered me more
Manager: pikachu faceFuckin wankers. All of em.
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RE: When being configurable is more important than being useful
@Gąska said in When being configurable is more important than being useful:
I checked what happens when you make left edge snap to right half, and surprisingly, it works flawlessly.
Not having this feature has single handedly affected my productivity a lot for my entire career. Now that I know Ubuntu has this, I can be 100x more productive. I'll be installing Ubuntu now. Thanks.
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RE: WhatsApp's illegal
Ooooh. There's another app called Truecaller that shows the identity of the unknown caller when you get a call. When you install the app, it asks you for access to all the contacts in your Address book hence the large database of phone nos with their corresponding owners. Remember, A huge number of people have to be on Truecaller and also allow access to their contacts for it to truly work.
Here comes the fucky part, I usually do not pick up numbers that I do not know so never had the need to install the App. One day I wanted to see if my name turns up on a friend's phone before he saved me to his address book. He had truecaller installed and lo and behold my entire fucking name with the company I work for turns up in the App. This pissed me off to no end. I do not want that information out there. I assumed my name was on the database because someone had had my phone number, installed truecaller before or after the fact and allowed access to their entire address book.
I installed the app on my phone, registered with my phone number and input a random name when it asked for my first name and last name and from then onwards, anyone who did not have my number before got the fake name I had manually input on my Truecaller app instead of the real ones that other people had used to save my number.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@anotherusername I wanna hang out with the folks from the audience who chose llamathrust.
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RE: Tsaukpaetra Button
@jbert I was not aware Discourse and the people here had that much of a history they have to remove a post in like < 15 mins. Wtf. What did you all do to Jeff Atwood?
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Hmmmmm - part 52819 Nodejs installation reboots pc 51023 times
So I install nodejs and there is an option to install chocolatey and i somehow did not opt out and then installed nodejs. A PS Script kept running and kept rebooting the system, ran again, and this is the best part, I go out and come back make dinner and this shit is still on a reboot cycle. It's been more than an hour since start of installation at this point. I figured it would reboot a few times but what the fuck? So I google and this comes up.
What the fuck? The Nodejs installer is unstable? Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
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RE: Why do people do this? Episode 3
@heterodox said in Why do people do this? Episode 3:
@stillwater said in Why do people do this? Episode 3:
Turns out the gentleman had gone into the database, thought encrypted passwords were actually passwords that got corrupted and that's why they looked funny too. So replaced all the passwords with just 'a' and 'admin' and what not.
I wish I actually thought you were joking.
That's how I reacted when I read that email that said "Hey Stillwater I've replaced the corrupted passwords with the right ones". When I later brought up the subject on this person being incompetent af in many other areas, I was told "He has like a decade more experience than you do, he must have had a reason. So STFU, stop trying to bring him down, and be a team player". That day was the day I started my "Fuck you" fund.
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RE: Hmmmm....
I love DataCamp but this is just a good old are-you-fucking-kidding-me feature
Oh wow let's switch to dark theme cos that's the one I use everywhere. Click!
WOW. MUCH DARK!
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RE: Quotes Out of Context
@BernieTheBernie said
You are paid for causing rectal pleasure in your supervisors.
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RE: Betrayed by github activity graph
Also notice how the candidate from the OP slacks off on most Wednesdays. Fuck this guy. Definitely not hired. Having someone who slacks off on Wednesdays is the worst thing that can happen to a company.
Who slacks off midweek? I bet he drinks heavily on Tuesday nights. Probably alcoholic. This looks like the guy is far worse than we initially thought so.
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RE: I work for Microsoft
@kt_ said in I work for Microsoft:
You're fucking shameful. When .NET was closed source, Microsoft got shit for not being open. When they went open source, they get shit for getting issues logged.
If you don't like this model, don't contribute. And stop fucking whining.
I had no problems when things were closed. Shit used to work flawlessly back then.
And I'm not giving them shit for being open. I am giving them shit for not testing stuff they call ready for production.
Also this ain't about contributing. I happily contribute to MS Docs to improve little things here and there. When MS folks push my company use their latest tool and then it trickles down to me, I simply find the stuff does not work as advertised. I cannot explain to my manager I'm playing GitHub with MS folks. They want shit done and so do I. The problem with me doing QA is logging issues and then them getting back to me and a lot of time spent repro-ing issues at their end and it takes forever to get anything done.
I simply do not care about open source. I have to log issues and get them fixed cos my fucking dayjob inloves getting shit done using tools and frameworks written by a company that does fuckall QA.
Also have your nescafe.
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RE: I still fucking hate StackOverflow sometimes
Helping people is a collateral benefit? Are you fucking kidding me SO? Cannot believe someone said that.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
@DogsB DUDE!!! I AM THE OURSOURCED CROWD and even I do not open mails from the outsourced crowd on fridays! You gotta be super careful with shit like this and yes we love screenshots!!!!! I'm just happy someone else suffers the way I do. Alcohol helps btw.
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RE: Quotes Out of Context
I read the last few posts and went this is all gonna end up in QOOC and then realised I am in the QOOC thread.
I don't even drink coffee so I have nothing to blame.
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RE: Random Thought of the Day
How do we still not have a Kitchen Nightmares style show for programmers. 10X rockstar Gordon Ramsay coming in and going
“You checked in your credentials to GitHub ya little shit”
“Youre using Haskell. Fuck me”
“ Hey Jimmy, unfortunately you’re codebase was written in Go. I’m afraid I can’t help you out. Good luck!” -
RE: Startup uses clueless devs, gets what they paid for (Was: Hmmm.. Part 3 - Where did the Microsoft Stack disappear?)
Wow motherfuck. Okay so no one bothered to set up a billing alert? Youre running a site with so many visitors on the cloud and you can't setup a billing alert? Why is he not talking about not setting a billing alert?
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RE: The Official Status Thread
@DogsB said in The Official Status Thread:
I wish people would learn about threadlocals and why they're an awful idea most of the time.
On that note - A little bit of background, for senior devs here in India, it is fashionable to ask "Explain threading or Explain async/await" and usually you are expected to respond with a generic simple answer. This is true for any interview that has Java, C# or whatever language has support for threads.
I go "typical. hmph" in my head, start off with a basic definition and then go on to explain the async / await mechanism, Threads and the Task library and stopped just short of synchronization contexts (partially because my grasp on that area is kinda shifty). This goes on for 15 minutes and I stop and then he does not say anything, and that's when I realise THE GUY HAS NO CLUE ABOUT ANY OF THIS!!!!!!!
This is the Principal Software Engineer of that team with a decade of .NET experience. How is this even possible?
I digress. I told him there are better ways than using ThreadLocals and he asked me what I meant by "a ThReAdLoCaL".
Oh well.
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RE: Indian Recruiters
The phone calls I receive are even worse. I'll post them here sometime. I've also observed that recruiters ask for your current salary and when refused to disclose, act all pissed off. Why the fuck would I tell how much I'm making ?
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Stillwater retires from IT
Like the title says, I think I'm done with IT. I finally received payment for my last gig which ended two days back. I've been doing other things that are going well and starting to make decent amounts of money and I don't think I'll be working in IT again. Hopefully!
Now, What have i been missing out on? Are there shows to catch up on? Awesome books that came out? Catch me up on everything please. There is so much free time all of a sudden and I don't know what to do. Anyone who has retired - what did you do with all your time? How do I go about this productively?
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RE: Targeted advertising fail
This is an instance of targeted and devious advertising.
I got ads for DigitalOcean for about a month everywhere I went online. My God! Some days there were nothing but DigitalOcean ads on the internet, and all of them went "Try out DigitalOcean with 100$ in free credits."
I gave in finally today, signed up for an account and I did not get the free fucking credits. What the fuck.
EDIT: Reponse from Support
Thanks for reaching out to DigitalOcean!
Unfortunately it doesn't appear that this account would have qualified for the $100 in credit, as we've discussed. The link for that trial offer is available on social media and various places on the web and must be used to create the account. We're not able to give out this promotion directly. The link stores the information on a cookie which, when applied we can see on our end and if necessary - add the credit manually if we can see record of the referral path and it only happens with new accounts, where such a referral path can be set for the first time. In the case of this account another type of referrer URL was used. If you wish, after you destroy the droplets, and deactivate this account, I would suggest clearing your cookies, and signing up again through the promotional link. I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
If there is anything else we can do or if you have any other questions, please feel free to let us know.
My Bad.
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RE: Hmmmm....
I have a problem with CANCEL and OKAY. I would have preferred GO BACK and YES. Maybe this is just me but I literally clicked on CANCEL and after a fleeting microsecond I realized cancel was not CANCEL. Goddamnit.
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Indian Recruiters
I wanted to test the job market and registered on a Job portal and I get emails every single day. Typos, Grammatical errors, shitty job descriptions and so on. I am posting the best of the best bland fucking emails here. I would never consider even one of these emails professional. Half the stuff makes no sense. Fuck me. Are things the same in the west ?
EMAIL 1
Hi Stillwater,
As per our Tcon, if you have any references pls. let me know for the web application, Azure.
Thanks & Regards,
Praveena
EMAIL 2
Dear Stillwater,
Job Profile: Python Developer
Job Loc: Pune
Payroll Company: Magna Infotech (Contract-to-Hire)
Skills: Python, AutomationNote: Notice period should be 15 Days Max
JD:
Understand the workflow and identify the gaps where automation scripts can be created
· Discuss with Queue managers and analysts and create backlog of requirements in JIRA
· Create python scripts to be executed on windows/linux platforms
· Daily Reporting – Work covered/pending against identified work items – All this will be tracked and monitored through JIRA
· Automation scripts to be migrated from Ruby to PythonEMAIL 3
Dear Candidates,
This is regarding an opportunity with one of the leading product development company. So kindly revert back to this mail with below details without fail earlier as possible.
Requirement:
Company: GlobalEnglish
Experience: 2+ years
Location: Chennai
Key Skills: HTML5,CSS3,Javascript,Jquery,Angular.Js,Gulp,Grunt,Less/SassResponsibilities :
work closely with UX Designers, Visual Designers, Product Managers, Content Specialists, and other Developers.
You will:
Create compelling, seamless, intuitive user experiences through well-designed and well-engineered Front-End code.
Architect, design, and manage a suite of reusable components that work across multiple applications and services.
Build efficient and reusable front-end abstractions, systems, and APIs.
Apply design details from product design standards and templates.
Collaborate with both internal and external teams.
Enhance and maintain our internal frameworks and tools to enable rapid development.
Identify and resolve performance bottlenecks.
Define and promote good engineering design patterns and practices Attributes
To succeed in this role, you must have these attributes:
Committed to Excellence cares deeply about product/process quality
Knowledgeable strong understanding of the technical landscape
Resilient perseveres through challenging problems
An independent thinker sees and pursues what is right and best
Bold makes an impact through strong initiative and action
Innovative inclined to seek new and better solutions
Clear Communicator able to communicate well, verbally and in writing, with coworkers
and stakeholders, even when the subject is complex or difficult
Collaborative natural desire to build open, trusting and supportive relationships with others
International embraces community of global, culturally-aware teamsRequired Skills & Experience
Bachelors degree or higher from an accredited university
2+ years of hands-on development experience with HTML, CSS, and JavaScript
(AngularJS, jQuery, Node.js)
Experience with front-end build tools, such as Grunt and Gulp.js
Experience with large and complex code bases, utilizing API design techniques to help keep code clean and maintainable
Experience with hybrid mobile app development, such as Ionic and Cordova
Experience making technological recommendations while weighing various tradeoffs
Solid knowledge of object-oriented programming principles and languages
Knowledge of current trends and best practices in front-end architecture, including performance, accessibility, security, and usability
Agile enthusiast who understands methodologies and enjoys being part of a scrum team
Collaborative experience working with UX Designers, Engineers, and Product Managers
Proven problem-solving and interpersonal communication skills Strong attention to detail
Strong desire to learn, push the envelope and openly share knowledge with othersNice to have:
Experience with ( Angular2, TypeScript, React, Vue.js ,RequireJS, Webpack and SystemJS
Experience with internationalization (i18n)*Make sure to attend face to face discussion & ready to join with short notice ( Preferably 30 days)
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RE: Indian Recruiters
@hardwaregeek said in Indian Recruiters:
"You're selling yourself short; the client has a standard rate of X+10 for somebody with your experience, and you should never consider less than X+5."
Loooooooooooooooooooool. This would never ever happen in India. If the client has a standard rate of X + 10. The Recruiter usually tells the client " Fuck that ! I ll get you someone for X - 79871237. Just give me a little moar money"
I wish I was exaggerating. I really wish.
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RE: Discourse PR as a Service
@blakeyrat said in Discourse PR as a Service:
@boomzilla said in Discourse PR as a Service:
WE'RE GOING TO BE MORE INCLUSIVE!!!111
I have no idea what they mean by that. It doesn't sound like they want to address the real problems, which stem from their, "We want to be a repository of information and duplicates or imperfect questions are anathema and will be made unquestions" sort of attitude (which we've discussed around here a bunch).Also the whole "people who play our site like a video game to earn big InternetPointzzz are also the people who get the moderator abilities to (practically) define how the site works".
(Random example pulled from a random "popular question" today.)
Those people are all awful. Wikipedia showed that. Here we're seeing it again.
Someone on Hacker News when this was discussed there thought SO should just delete everybody's InternetPointzzz every 6 months. I liked that idea a lot.
I can be a real prick sometimes but I cannot imagine using the tone these people use ever. Just wow!
I'd feel real bad If is was the person asking the question. What I don't understand is this - Why is there no "Hey this seems like it is about networking but it seems you've posted it under games, Is there any particular reason?" before the "I'm voting to close the question cos you done fucked up". Being polite costs nothing.
Also, what pissssssssses me off is how April Wensel has been tweeting about this for a long time and nobody from stackoverflow really acknowledged it. It is really sad that what is essentially the first google result when you have a problem is filled with hostile motherfuckers.
Also, Is this where we get to call Jeff Atwood cunty?
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RE: I am a Developer from India.One among the bunch of guys you hate for writing unmaintainable shit-ass code that you have to fix. Ask me anything .
We don't have freedom of speech here .
No Comment.
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RE: Rumours: Microsoft to buy github
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=17208293
@jaloopa said in Rumours: Microsoft to buy github:
it would be hilarious to watch the mouth frothing from the anti Micro$haft zealots
I hope MS buys Github just for this alone. The OSS wankery has gotten beyond control. Needs to stop.
@jaloopa said in Rumours: Microsoft to buy github:
I wouldn't want to see MS go further down the rabbit hole of promoting Git.
Even if that happens, I don't think it's gonna get any worse than it already is. If anything I think MS will make things nicer.
I've also noticed that a decade or so back MS used to be cunty and OSS folks were helpful. Now it's the other way round, MS seems to be embracing a lot of stuff and the OSS fanatics are still stuck up and also they're insufferable AF.
So, please dear god, let this happen, so that I can go "You hate MS? Oh man your entire codebase is on github fuckkkkkkk omg that's evil what" to the OSS assholes. This has probably been the only acquisition I've cared about in a million years.
Even if this whole thing goes down the Nokia way, so be it. Let's start from scratch and have a new OSS culture that's not centered on sounding like a know-it-all holier than thou cunt.
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RE: Tsaukpaetra Button
@tharpa @Polygeekery Wowwwwwwwwwwwww....Jeff Atwood is angry/hostile AF.