@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Best posts made by Gern_Blaanston
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RE: The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
I burned 2,000 calories today.
I shouldn't have left the brownies in the oven while I took a nap.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
"I can admit my flaws, but you can't."
"That's not true. I admit your flaws all the time."
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-zaw5fg6fEEwl6UY_ooFbw
Parents,
If your last name is Head please don't name your son Richard.
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RE: It has started
Just think how much fun it will be when there are 200 million electric vehicles that need to be charged every day. The fun is just beginning.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@LaoC said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
One day, my mother was visiting. She was talking to my wife about some things and my wife said "Oh, we can look that up on the Internet".
Info about Tiffany lamps? Just search for "Tiffany".
Dick's Sporting Goods? Just search for "Dicks".
Needless to say, those searches did not return what they were looking for.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
Status: Confused
This morning, my alarm clock went off, I got up and started doing all the things I normally do in the morning. Hmmm ... seems a little darker than usual today.
After I've been up for a few minutes I notice the time. 4:45am. My alarm is set for 6:00am.
Apparently I dreamed that my alarm went off, and it woke me up.
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RE: The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread
It takes 5 minutes to walk from my house to the bar.
But it takes 45 minutes to walk back home.
The difference is staggering.
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RE: The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread
We call child birth "delivery" but it's more like take out.
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RE: WTF Bites
I have an e-mail account on Microsoft's outlook.live.com because .... raisins.
E-Mail from Microsoft, promoting Microsoft Co-Pilot, is marked as spam. On Microsoft's own e-mail system.
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RE: WTF Bites
Zuckerberg debuted Horizon Worlds, a virtual reality social app, in France and Spain earlier this week, sharing a somewhat flat, goofy digital avatar posed in front of the Eiffel Tower and rolling green hills.
Many compared the Metaverse design to early 90's graphics and pointed out how lifeless and childish the Zuckerberg selfie looked. It quickly won the designation "dead eyes."
In all fairness, he always looks like that. I've never seen a picture of him where he looks like an actual person.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
I hired a guy to paint my porch.
A couple of hours later he said "I'm done painting your car, but I should probably tell you, it's not really a Porsche."
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RE: WTF Bites
Windows 11 is not popular – 00:45
— Surfshark Academy"Two years after its release there are 400 million devices running Windows 11.
That sounds like a lot, but Windows 10 took twice as less time to reach that same number."
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
A mother is cleaning her son's bedroom and finds whips, handcuffs and other BDSM things.
She asks her husband what they should do about it and he says "I don't know, but I guess we shouldn't spank him."
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RE: WTF Bites
Richard Branson says he won't invest any more money in Virgin Galactic. Apparently, charging people $450, 000 to go almost into space isn't a good business.
Virgin Galactic’s days were numbered when half of their market for expensive almost-space tourism died in a submersible accident earlier this year.
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RE: The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread
People are shocked when they find out that I'm not a qualified electrician.
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RE: The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
I went to McDonald's and ordered 2 large fries.
.
The bastards gave me a hundred little ones.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
As David Ancalle opened video after video of diarrhea this year, it struck him: This is not what he expected to be doing for his Ph.D.
Ancalle, a mechanical engineering student at Georgia Tech who researches fluid dynamics
Sounds like fluid dynamics to me
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RE: In other hostile takeover Tweets...
@HardwareGeek said in In other hostile takeover Tweets...:
@topspin The headline is a bit misleading.
Your Threads account is your Instagram account. The only way to delete your Threads account is to delete your Instagram account, because they're the same thing.I saw this article yesterday and it reminded me that I have an Instagram account that I set up long ago and never used. So, I deleted it.
Something good finally came from reading Slashdot.
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RE: WTF Office?
I bought a copy of Microsoft Office "Professional Edition".
In 2003.
Much to the dismay of Microsoft, I still use it extensively at home.
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The functionality that I need from Word and Excel is exactly the same today as it was 20 years ago. I have never encountered a situation where I can't do exactly what I want/need to do.
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It doesn't have any significant bugs that have ever caused a problem for me.
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It creates documents that can be read by other newer versions of Office, for those rare occasions when I need to send a document to someone. Or I can just convert to PDF.
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I build a new computer every 3 or 4 years. Office 2003 is the last version to not require "activation", so installing it on a new computer is easy.
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I have tried newer versions of Office, and a couple of the free/open source "office" programs, and to the surprise of exactly no one, they are shit.
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RE: Aviation Antipatterns Thread
@boomzilla said in Aviation Antipatterns Thread:
I just flew from San Francisco to DC
and boy are my arms tired.
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RE: The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
Why has Barbie never been pregnant?
.
Ken comes in a different box.
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RE: WTF Bites
I misread this as F-1SEX and now I am dissapoint because that would be a great name for a fighter jet.
The F-1SEX - We will fuck you up.
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RE: The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread
My doctor told me to avoid trans fats.
I told him its none of his business who I date.
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RE: WTF Bites
I guess I just don't understand art. This painting from 1975 just sold for $8,000
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RE: The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread
I briefly dated a girl who had no toes, but I broke up with her.
I guess I'm just lack toes intolerant.
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RE: WTF Bites
"may attract a fee."
No thanks. I'll settle for the .... less attractive version.
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RE: The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
It seems like nothing is made in the U.S. any more. I bought a television and it says on the box "Built in antenna".
I'm a little embarrassed to say, but I don't even know where that is.