Best posts made by Gern_Blaanston
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It was "Safety Week" and it was suggested we set up a mock "accident" involving a forklift. So we contacted the company who does the maintenance on our forklifts, had them bring one over and lay it on its side, in the street near the main entrance, so that everyone would see it.
Well, it turns out, before you tip over a forklift you should drain all the various fluids (oil, radiator, etc.) because if you don't they all immediately run out and start going down the street into the sewers.
And so, first thing in the morning on our first day of Safety Week we had a major environmental incident.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
Hi, George. This is Richard, next door. I've a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I'm telling you in this text. I can't live with myself a minute longer without your knowing about this. The truth is, when you're not around, I've been using your wife, day and night. Probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just
too great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me.Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you.
Richard
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George, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. George then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.
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Hi, George. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Auto Correct had changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us all. -
RE: WTF Bites
The default installation location for Corel PaintShop Pro is:
C:\Program Files\
Corel PaintShop Pro\
Corel\
Corel PaintShop Pro (64-bit) -
RE: A fool and his not-really-money are soon parted
Co-founders Nuke Goldstein and S. Daniel Leon are cited as making CEL sales valued at $2.8 million and $9.74 million respectively.
Damn. Things are really bad when you can't trust a company run by someone named Nuke Goldstein.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
Devil: And this is the lake of lava you've be spending eternity in.
Me: Actually, we're underground, so it would be magma.
Devil: You do realize that's why you're here, right?
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RE: WTF Bites
@HardwareGeek I just had it tell me that a program I compiled (and signed) was a virus. Thanks.
As it turns out, AV programs are sometimes just as stupid and poorly written as everything else.
Years ago I wrote a program and my AV flagged it as a virus ..... WTF? Then I figured out what happened.
Somewhere on the interwebs I had come across the assembly language source code for a virus -- I wasn't interested in viruses but I was learning assembly language at the time and I was eager to study any working code I could find.
There was a subroutine in the virus source code that didn't do anything bad, it just cleared the screen in a clever way. So I copied it into the program that I was writing.
Apparently that bit of screen-clearing code was what my AV program was using to detect that particular virus.
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RE: The Cat Status Thread
@Gern_Blaanston said in The Cat Status Thread:
"Petra" who now lives in my garage.
A sad update on Petra.
About 6 years ago, I was talking to my next-door neighbor and she was telling me about this old stray cat who has been coming around her house. She named the cat "Petra" and the cat had been living under her back porch.
A few months later, the neighbor moved away and Petra started coming over to my house. I have cats of my own so one more is no big deal. But Petra was a strange one. She was friendly ... sort of ... and she seemed to like spending time with me, but she absolutely would not let me touch her.
So, every day I would feed her and sit with her, sometimes on my front porch, sometimes on my back patio. One time, I let her come into my house, but once she got inside she freaked out. So, she definitely would have to be an outside cat. When winter came I arranged it so that she could come into my garage, and I set up her "kitty apartment" complete with food, a bed and a heater.
And so that's how things have been for the last 6 years. Petra comes and goes as she pleases, and when the weather is nice she spends much of the day wandering the neighborhood (and I suspect that some of the neighbors might have also been feeding her -- Petra was not skinny). On hot summer days she would often go off into the wooded area across the street from my house.
But we quickly settled into a regular schedule. She was always there waiting for me in the morning when I got up, throughout the day she was always there at feeding time, and she would always spend the night in my garage.
A few days ago a neighbor from down the street knocked on my door and said "Is that your cat in the street?" Apparently an Amazon truck pulled into a driveway to turn around, rather that just go down to the end of the street and turn around in the cul-de-sac, and when the truck was backing out of the driveway Petra was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
My biggest fear had finally come true. So now there's a small wooden box with her name on it, on a shelf along side all the others who have come and gone before her.
I did get a call from Amazon today and they (supposedly) will be sending me a check to cover the cost of Petra's cremation. So, there's that.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
I told my psychiatrist "Everyone hates me."
He said "That's ridiculous. Everyone hasn't met you yet".
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
One of the benefits of being self-employed:
If someone sees you talking to yourself you can just say you were having a staff meeting.
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RE: In other hostile takeover Tweets...
Yes, you should definitely use "the cloud" and not "data centers".
there have been reports that Musk decided (with little to no notice, and almost no planning) to shut down its Sacramento data center and massively downsize their Atlanta data center. Twitter only has one other data center in the US, in Portland, Oregon.
Twitter’s use of data centers rather than the cloud is something that’s been discussed over the years, and two years ago the company did sign a deal to start using Amazon Web Services, though I don’t think the company relies too heavily on it yet
Because Amazon Web Services magically uses something other than servers in data centers
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
Fucking government regulations ruin everything
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
He's eating lunch. What's your fucking problem?
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
They keep making the same clbuttic mistakes.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
My father says "You don't always get what you pay for."
Wonderful man. Terrible delivery driver.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@PJH said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
AHA !! Google has exposed the truth.
GCC Hides Global Warming.
Thanks Google!
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RE: WTF Bites
The Division 2 currently cannot be updated because a recent update broke the system used to update the game, so the developers trying to update it have to first update the updater to accept new updates. So that they can update it.
It's updates all the way down
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RE: WTF Bites
@topspin Maybe someone in SAP worked out how to enable database indexes.
SAP .... Oh the memories.
I was working at a company that used this big bloated mess of SAP software. Then, it was decided that we would switch everything to a new system made by a company called JD Edwards.
3 years and many thousands of man-hours later, we are just finishing the transition to the new JD Edwards software and almost ready to switch everything over from SAP to JD Edwards. And then we are bought by a another (much bigger) company.
So now we must switch everything over to the computer system used by our new corporate overlords. Which uses .... SAP.
Fortunately, I left shortly after.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
"I can admit my flaws, but you can't."
"That's not true. I admit your flaws all the time."