Context ad placement strikes again



  • While watching some youtube wildlife videos with my son, I saw this:



  • So that's what happened to that old poof.



  •  I have Denver Birds, but I don't want them removed.  I need their Denver Eggs for my Denver Omelette.



  •  Oh, man, this is quite possibly the most confused anyone has ever been about how to join the Mile High Club.



  • So you are looking for wildlife videos, and you type "amazing" in the search box? WTF?



  •  It's a well-known fact that WHATEVER you type or search in search engines nowadays, you'll get some form of advertisement back, even if you search for "disease-ridden dead rotting corpses".

     The very least you'll get a "Cick HERE for the BEST DEALS on disease-ridden dead rotting corpses" link.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @C4I_Officer said:

     It's a well-known fact that WHATEVER you type or search in search engines nowadays, you'll get some form of advertisement back, even if you search for "disease-ridden dead rotting corpses".

     The very least you'll get a "Cick HERE for the BEST DEALS on disease-ridden dead rotting corpses" link.

    I didn't with Google. And I don't have their adverts blocked.



  • @PJH said:

    @C4I_Officer said:

     It's a well-known fact that WHATEVER you type or search in search engines nowadays, you'll get some form of advertisement back, even if you search for "disease-ridden dead rotting corpses".

     The very least you'll get a "Cick HERE for the BEST DEALS on disease-ridden dead rotting corpses" link.

    I didn't with Google. And I don't have their adverts blocked.
     

     

    Their bad for missing on such a business opportunity. Or the operators in this sector aren't aware of the wonders of online advertising yet.

     

    Seriously though, at least Google seems to only display ads that are in screened databases, although it's still possible to get irrelevant or tasteless ad placement.

    Domain squatters/link spammers OTOH are not as selective, and will autogenerate even fake ads in order to attract potential "customers"  (yeah, because nothing

    spells "business opportunity" like a generic cybersquatter's "What you need, when you need it" site).


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @C4I_Officer said:

    Seriously though, at least Google seems to only display ads that are in screened databases, although it's still possible to get irrelevant or tasteless ad placement.
    I have no doubt that as soon as some algorithm or other at google realises that it's getting a few hits for those search terms when others try it, that they'll find something to display there.



  • @PJH said:

    @C4I_Officer said:
    Seriously though, at least Google seems to only display ads that are in screened databases, although it's still possible to get irrelevant or tasteless ad placement.
    I have no doubt that as soon as some algorithm or other at google realises that it's getting a few hits for those search terms when others try it, that they'll find something to display there.
    Still no add, but this thread is the first link on the search for "disease-ridden dead rotting corpses" now. :-D



  • @RogerWilco said:

    @PJH said:

    @C4I_Officer said:
    Seriously though, at least Google seems to only display ads that are in screened databases, although it's still possible to get irrelevant or tasteless ad placement.
    I have no doubt that as soon as some algorithm or other at google realises that it's getting a few hits for those search terms when others try it, that they'll find something to display there.
    Still no add, but this thread is the first link on the search for "disease-ridden dead rotting corpses" now. :-D

    Quick mortgage your home!  You can't afford to miss this incredible franchise opportunity.  For just the upfront cost of the money you recieve for you mortgage, I will sell you enough cadavers to get started.  When you start to run low you can buy more from me at a small premium.  My proprietary Murder Castle (TM) system will keep you supplied for years to come!  Just mail a check or money to:

    H.H. Holmes
    World's fair Hotel
    Chicago, IL 

     



  • @Abdiel said:

    So you are looking for wildlife videos, and you type "amazing" in the search box? WTF?

    You should check out the video. It really is amazing. The lyre bird has some seriously cool vocal chords.



  • @dcardani said:

    It really is amazing. The lyre bird has some seriously cool vocal chords.

    You should have heard your mom last night when I was working her. It was like a nightingale, a ringtone, a Hasselblad shutter click, a seagull, a loud wino, my laundry machine, my dryer, the bus, a second ringtone, a Fear Factory concert and a million agonized voices all at once.

    Alpine.
    For all your ear protection needs.



  • @dcardani said:

    @Abdiel said:

    So you are looking for wildlife videos, and you type "amazing" in the search box? WTF?

    You should check out the video. It really is amazing. The lyre bird has some seriously cool vocal chords.

    It's a goddamn bird.

     

    Cool shit it's okay to get excited over:

    • a new Fallout game
    • a delicious microbrew
    • a big-ass machine gun
    • some new, young, silicone-filled Hollywood starlet
    • an ounce of super-skunky, mind-erasing, blast-you-on-your-ass weed


    Lame shit it is NOT okay to get excited over:

    • a goddamn bird 


    Got it?



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @dcardani said:

    @Abdiel said:

    So you are looking for wildlife videos, and you type "amazing" in the search box? WTF?

    You should check out the video. It really is amazing. The lyre bird has some seriously cool vocal chords.

    It's a goddamn bird.

     

    Cool shit it's okay to get excited over:

    • a new Fallout game
    • a delicious microbrew
    • a big-ass machine gun
    • some new, young, silicone-filled Hollywood starlet
    • an ounce of super-skunky, mind-erasing, blast-you-on-your-ass weed


    Lame shit it is NOT okay to get excited over:

    • a goddamn bird 



    Got it?

    +1.  Morbs is my new hero.

     



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @dcardani said:

    @Abdiel said:

    So you are looking for wildlife videos, and you type "amazing" in the search box? WTF?

    You should check out the video. It really is amazing. The lyre bird has some seriously cool vocal chords.

    It's a goddamn bird.

     

    Cool shit it's okay to get excited over:

    • a new Fallout game
    • a delicious microbrew
    • a big-ass machine gun
    • some new, young, silicone-filled Hollywood starlet
    • an ounce of super-skunky, mind-erasing, blast-you-on-your-ass weed


    Lame shit it is NOT okay to get excited over:

    • a goddamn bird 



    Got it?

    But, you can PRETEND to get excited over the bird, in order to SCORE the new, young, silicone-filled Hollywood starlet . . . . or just the new gullible, silicone-filled receptionist with the interesting ankle tattoos.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Lame shit it is NOT okay to get excited over:

    • a goddamn bird 
    What if the bird really was damned by God, and now it has returned to Earth with a vengeance?  And its got like Hell powers and shit?  And Satan was all like, "yo, bird!  Go fuck some shit up back on Earth.  Take this bitchin' motorcycle that has spikes on the wheels and flames painted on it," and the bird took the bike and then kicked Satan in the crotch and rode off with Satan's woman because ain't nobody gonna tell this bird what to do?  And the bird can raise the dead to serve as its army, but most dead people are too pussy so it only reanimates the skeletons of Vikings?  But, like, the Vikings learned voodoo from a dead African priestess in Hell so now they can do voodoo and they raise an army of zombie dinosaurs?  And since there's no dinosaur flesh left the dinos replaced their skin with Kevlar and their muscles with liquid metal so they are bulletproof and now if you stab them you get burned to death from the molten titanium inside them?  Also, it shoots lasers from its eyes maybe?



  • @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Lame shit it is NOT okay to get excited over:

    • a goddamn bird 

    What if the bird really was damned by God, and now it has returned to Earth with a vengeance?  And its got like Hell powers and shit?  And Satan was all like, "yo, bird!  Go fuck some shit up back on Earth.  Take this bitchin' motorcycle that has spikes on the wheels and flames painted on it," and the bird took the bike and then kicked Satan in the crotch and rode off with Satan's woman because ain't nobody gonna tell this bird what to do?  And the bird can raise the dead to serve as its army, but most dead people are too pussy so it only reanimates the skeletons of Vikings?  But, like, the Vikings learned voodoo from a dead African priestess in Hell so now they can do voodoo and they raise an army of zombie dinosaurs?  And since there's no dinosaur flesh left the dinos replaced their skin with Kevlar and their muscles with liquid metal so they are bulletproof and now if you stab them you get burned to death from the molten titanium inside them?  Also, it shoots lasers from its eyes maybe?
     

    I saw some porn once that followed a similar plot.



  • @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Lame shit it is NOT okay to get excited over:

    • a goddamn bird 

    What if the bird really was damned by God, and now it has returned to Earth with a vengeance?  And its got like Hell powers and shit?  And Satan was all like, "yo, bird!  Go fuck some shit up back on Earth.  Take this bitchin' motorcycle that has spikes on the wheels and flames painted on it," and the bird took the bike and then kicked Satan in the crotch and rode off with Satan's woman because ain't nobody gonna tell this bird what to do?  And the bird can raise the dead to serve as its army, but most dead people are too pussy so it only reanimates the skeletons of Vikings?  But, like, the Vikings learned voodoo from a dead African priestess in Hell so now they can do voodoo and they raise an army of zombie dinosaurs?  And since there's no dinosaur flesh left the dinos replaced their skin with Kevlar and their muscles with liquid metal so they are bulletproof and now if you stab them you get burned to death from the molten titanium inside them?  Also, it shoots lasers from its eyes maybe?

    Obviously, that would be awesome.  But if you saw all of that and still the only thing you had to say was "Gee whiz, that bird has amazing vocal cords!" then you are gay.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Lame shit it is NOT okay to get excited over:

    • a goddamn bird 

    What if the bird really was damned by God, and now it has returned to Earth with a vengeance?  And its got like Hell powers and shit?  And Satan was all like, "yo, bird!  Go fuck some shit up back on Earth.  Take this bitchin' motorcycle that has spikes on the wheels and flames painted on it," and the bird took the bike and then kicked Satan in the crotch and rode off with Satan's woman because ain't nobody gonna tell this bird what to do?  And the bird can raise the dead to serve as its army, but most dead people are too pussy so it only reanimates the skeletons of Vikings?  But, like, the Vikings learned voodoo from a dead African priestess in Hell so now they can do voodoo and they raise an army of zombie dinosaurs?  And since there's no dinosaur flesh left the dinos replaced their skin with Kevlar and their muscles with liquid metal so they are bulletproof and now if you stab them you get burned to death from the molten titanium inside them?  Also, it shoots lasers from its eyes maybe?

    Obviously, that would be awesome.  But if you saw all of that and still the only thing you had to say was "Gee whiz, that bird has amazing vocal cords!" then you are gay.

    Winner - Morbius


  • @Medezark said:

    Winner - Morbius
     

    Look, Morbs is just a player. He can never be the winner. Instigator, perhaps. Winnar -- no.

    @pstorer said:

    What if the bird really was damned by God, and now it has returned to Earth with a vengeance?  And its got like Hell powers and shit?  And Satan was all like, "yo, bird!  Go fuck some shit up back on Earth.  Take this bitchin' motorcycle that has spikes on the wheels and flames painted on it," and the bird took the bike and then kicked Satan in the crotch and rode off with Satan's woman because ain't nobody gonna tell this bird what to do?  And the bird can raise the dead to serve as its army, but most dead people are too pussy so it only reanimates the skeletons of Vikings?  But, like, the Vikings learned voodoo from a dead African priestess in Hell so now they can do voodoo and they raise an army of zombie dinosaurs?  And since there's no dinosaur flesh left the dinos replaced their skin with Kevlar and their muscles with liquid metal so they are bulletproof and now if you stab them you get burned to death from the molten titanium inside them?  Also, it shoots lasers from its eyes maybe?

    Well, no.

     

    Do NOT make me break out... the chickens.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Lame shit it is NOT okay to get excited over:

    • a goddamn bird 

    What if the bird really was damned by God, and now it has returned to Earth with a vengeance?  And its got like Hell powers and shit?  And Satan was all like, "yo, bird!  Go fuck some shit up back on Earth.  Take this bitchin' motorcycle that has spikes on the wheels and flames painted on it," and the bird took the bike and then kicked Satan in the crotch and rode off with Satan's woman because ain't nobody gonna tell this bird what to do?  And the bird can raise the dead to serve as its army, but most dead people are too pussy so it only reanimates the skeletons of Vikings?  But, like, the Vikings learned voodoo from a dead African priestess in Hell so now they can do voodoo and they raise an army of zombie dinosaurs?  And since there's no dinosaur flesh left the dinos replaced their skin with Kevlar and their muscles with liquid metal so they are bulletproof and now if you stab them you get burned to death from the molten titanium inside them?  Also, it shoots lasers from its eyes maybe?

    Obviously, that would be awesome.  But if you saw all of that and still the only thing you had to say was "Gee whiz, that bird has amazing vocal cords!" then you are gay.

    You won't be singing that tune when Robert Smith dies and the bird replaces him as lead singer of The Cure.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @dcardani said:

    @Abdiel said:

    So you are looking for wildlife videos, and you type "amazing" in the search box? WTF?

    You should check out the video. It really is amazing. The lyre bird has some seriously cool vocal chords.

    It's a goddamn bird.

     

    Cool shit it's okay to get excited over:

    • a new Fallout game
    • a delicious microbrew
    • a big-ass machine gun
    • some new, young, silicone-filled Hollywood starlet
    • an ounce of super-skunky, mind-erasing, blast-you-on-your-ass weed


    Lame shit it is NOT okay to get excited over:

    • a goddamn bird 



    Got it?

     

     

    Note for our British friends: In the states, "bird" refers to most feathered, usually flighted, vertebrates. It does NOT refer to some new, young, silicone-filled Hollywood starlet.



  • @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Lame shit it is NOT okay to get excited over:

    • a goddamn bird 

    What if the bird really was damned by God, and now it has returned to Earth with a vengeance?  And its got like Hell powers and shit?  And Satan was all like, "yo, bird!  Go fuck some shit up back on Earth.  Take this bitchin' motorcycle that has spikes on the wheels and flames painted on it," and the bird took the bike and then kicked Satan in the crotch and rode off with Satan's woman because ain't nobody gonna tell this bird what to do?  And the bird can raise the dead to serve as its army, but most dead people are too pussy so it only reanimates the skeletons of Vikings?  But, like, the Vikings learned voodoo from a dead African priestess in Hell so now they can do voodoo and they raise an army of zombie dinosaurs?  And since there's no dinosaur flesh left the dinos replaced their skin with Kevlar and their muscles with liquid metal so they are bulletproof and now if you stab them you get burned to death from the molten titanium inside them?  Also, it shoots lasers from its eyes maybe?

    Obviously, that would be awesome.  But if you saw all of that and still the only thing you had to say was "Gee whiz, that bird has amazing vocal cords!" then you are gay.

    You won't be singing that tune when Robert Smith dies and the bird replaces him as lead singer of The Cure.

    Not at all.  The tune I plan to sing in-between mascara-streaking sobbing and the howls of pain from wrist-slashing is Just Like Heaven.



  •  @bstorer said:

    What if the bird really was damned by God, and now it has returned to Earth with a vengeance?  And its got like Hell powers and shit?  And Satan was all like, "yo, bird!  Go fuck some shit up back on Earth.  Take this bitchin' motorcycle that has spikes on the wheels and flames painted on it," and the bird took the bike and then kicked Satan in the crotch and rode off with Satan's woman because ain't nobody gonna tell this bird what to do?  And the bird can raise the dead to serve as its army, but most dead people are too pussy so it only reanimates the skeletons of Vikings?  But, like, the Vikings learned voodoo from a dead African priestess in Hell so now they can do voodoo and they raise an army of zombie dinosaurs?  And since there's no dinosaur flesh left the dinos replaced their skin with Kevlar and their muscles with liquid metal so they are bulletproof and now if you stab them you get burned to death from the molten titanium inside them?  Also, it shoots lasers from its eyes maybe?

     

    Sounds like "Free Bird"  being covered by some crappy emo band.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Lame shit it is NOT okay to get excited over:

    • a goddamn bird 

    What if the bird really was damned by God, and now it has returned to Earth with a vengeance?  And its got like Hell powers and shit?  And Satan was all like, "yo, bird!  Go fuck some shit up back on Earth.  Take this bitchin' motorcycle that has spikes on the wheels and flames painted on it," and the bird took the bike and then kicked Satan in the crotch and rode off with Satan's woman because ain't nobody gonna tell this bird what to do?  And the bird can raise the dead to serve as its army, but most dead people are too pussy so it only reanimates the skeletons of Vikings?  But, like, the Vikings learned voodoo from a dead African priestess in Hell so now they can do voodoo and they raise an army of zombie dinosaurs?  And since there's no dinosaur flesh left the dinos replaced their skin with Kevlar and their muscles with liquid metal so they are bulletproof and now if you stab them you get burned to death from the molten titanium inside them?  Also, it shoots lasers from its eyes maybe?

    Obviously, that would be awesome.  But if you saw all of that and still the only thing you had to say was "Gee whiz, that bird has amazing vocal cords!" then you are gay.

    You won't be singing that tune when Robert Smith dies and the bird replaces him as lead singer of The Cure.

    Not at all.  The tune I plan to sing in-between mascara-streaking sobbing and the howls of pain from wrist-slashing is Just Like Heaven.

    Isn't that a gay song that only fags like?



  • @Abdiel said:

    So you are looking for wildlife videos, and you type "amazing" in the search box? WTF?

    No - I searched for amazing things, and found a wildlife video. I wasn't searching for wildlife videos; if I had been, I would have put 'wildlife videos' in the search box. See how that works?



  • @PeriSoft said:

    @Abdiel said:

    So you are looking for wildlife videos, and you type "amazing" in the search box? WTF?

    No - I searched for amazing things, and found a wildlife video. I wasn't searching for wildlife videos; if I had been, I would have put 'wildlife videos' in the search box. See how that works?

     

    No, please explain with more verbosity.



  • @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Lame shit it is NOT okay to get excited over:

    • a goddamn bird 

    What if the bird really was damned by God, and now it has returned to Earth with a vengeance?  And its got like Hell powers and shit?  And Satan was all like, "yo, bird!  Go fuck some shit up back on Earth.  Take this bitchin' motorcycle that has spikes on the wheels and flames painted on it," and the bird took the bike and then kicked Satan in the crotch and rode off with Satan's woman because ain't nobody gonna tell this bird what to do?  And the bird can raise the dead to serve as its army, but most dead people are too pussy so it only reanimates the skeletons of Vikings?  But, like, the Vikings learned voodoo from a dead African priestess in Hell so now they can do voodoo and they raise an army of zombie dinosaurs?  And since there's no dinosaur flesh left the dinos replaced their skin with Kevlar and their muscles with liquid metal so they are bulletproof and now if you stab them you get burned to death from the molten titanium inside them?  Also, it shoots lasers from its eyes maybe?

    Obviously, that would be awesome.  But if you saw all of that and still the only thing you had to say was "Gee whiz, that bird has amazing vocal cords!" then you are gay.

    You won't be singing that tune when Robert Smith dies and the bird replaces him as lead singer of The Cure.

    Not at all.  The tune I plan to sing in-between mascara-streaking sobbing and the howls of pain from wrist-slashing is Just Like Heaven.

    Isn't that a gay song that only fags like?

    Not at all.  It's an awesome song that only awesome, super-virile men like, what with their skin-tight leather pants wrapped around their 4-inch-in-diameter legs and their mesh shirts... mmm.. heterosexual.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Not at all.  It's an awesome song that only awesome, super-virile men like, what with their skin-tight leather pants wrapped around their 4-inch-in-diameter legs and their mesh shirts... mmm.. heterosexual.
     

    fag.



  • @dhromed said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Not at all.  It's an awesome song that only awesome, super-virile men like, what with their skin-tight leather pants wrapped around their 4-inch-in-diameter legs and their mesh shirts... mmm.. heterosexual.
     

    fag.

    Hate Crime!  Hate Crime!!

     

    Being a fan of shitty, emo bands is a protected status.  Prepare to meet my lawyer.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Prepare to meet my lawyer.
     

    You penis has not passed the bar and may not practise.



  • @dhromed said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Prepare to meet my lawyer.
     

    You penis has not passed the bar and may not practise.

    All his penis does is practice.  Deep down, it knows it'll never get a real opportunity, but it won't let that stop it!  Why, it even practices while he sleeps, just in case the day should come where morb's sex dreams come true.  Should morb's mother someday try to seduce him while wearing a pair of men's overalls and a bushy black mustache, his penis will be ready.



  •  @bstorer said:

    @dhromed said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Prepare to meet my lawyer.
     

    You penis has not passed the bar and may not practise.

    All his penis does is practice.  Deep down, it knows it'll never get a real opportunity, but it won't let that stop it!  Why, it even practices while he sleeps, just in case the day should come where morb's sex dreams come true.  Should morb's mother someday try to seduce him while wearing a pair of men's overalls and a bushy black mustache, his penis will be ready.

    This kind of exchange is exactly what I was hoping for when I started this thread.



  • @PeriSoft said:

    This kind of exchange is exactly what I was hoping for when I started this thread.
     

    It's a  different kind of wildlife video.


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