The flow chart



  • I've stated frequently that we got bought out by a much larger entity. Our system was chosen to replace the one from the much larger entity. Today, I found out why they didn't put up much of a fight.

    We asked for some documentation on how certain transitions were to be handled. We received a directory dump containing a whole bunch of stuff - everything except what we needed. However, in that directory were two huge indicative files.

    One was a 1000+ page code review (of the system being replaced) written by some consulting company, which essentially slammed the system as a big cut-n-paste farce.

    Another was a Visio diagram allegedly depicting a flowchart. Mind you, the system comprised a couple dozen subsystems. Was there one flow chart for each subsystem, and then a high level block diagram? No. It was one giant mother of all flowcharts for all of the systems. Every module. Every function. Every procedure call. Every sql statement. Every if-statement. A note in one corner indicating that primary keys weren't really primary, as they were not unique within or across subsystems - duplicates were allowed. So many nodes I couldnt count them all. Lines going everywhere. Five feet on a side. My box has 2GB of ram, and couldn't load the sucker. We had to scavange a pc to get 4 GB into my box. Once loaded, every time you tried to scroll, the PC would quake trying to do a refresh.

    Perhaps TRWTF<FONT size=-2>TM</FONT> is that the consulting company tried to shrink it down to include it in a powerpoint presentation summarizing the big document. The page had no white space on it.

    Sorry, there's no way to anonymize this monstrosity, so I can't post the image.

    </vent>



  • @snoofle said:

    Sorry, there's no way to anonymize this monstrosity, so I can't post the image.

    And then there was this one time, I went fishing and caught a fish THIS BIG!!   (kidding!)

    Seriously, this would be something to see - what about taking a screencap and shrinking down to like 300px wide?  That should obliterate just about anything.



  • @DoctorFriday said:

    down to like 300px wide?  That should obliterate just about anything.

    This is ongoing, as we speak. Can't risk it while I'm still working here... sorry.

     



  • @snoofle said:

    Perhaps TRWTF<font size="-2">TM</font> is that the consulting company tried to shrink it down to include it in a powerpoint presentation summarizing the big document. The page had no white space on it.
    Oh, yes. That I'd like to see.

    "And here we have a diagram of the system. If you look closely you'll see that it all starts here..." 



  • @snoofle said:

    @DoctorFriday said:

    down to like 300px wide?  That should obliterate just about anything.

    This is ongoing, as we speak. Can't risk it while I'm still working here... sorry.

     

     

    That sounds ominous.  Good luck in your new job :)



  • @snoofle said:

    This is ongoing, as we speak. Can't risk it while I'm still working here... sorry.

    Indeed! So many times I'd love to post some of things I see day to day, but TRWTF here is that we love, and I mean LOVE to put the company name in things like variables, stored procedures, apps, you name it.  I mean sure, we have the "Transaction Load Processor...THING" but internally everything is ??? this and ??? that. 



  • What y'all should do now is get that monstrosity printed on a poster, professionally. Alternatively, use something like the Rasterbator to split it up into 8.5"x11" images.

     Then, hang it up in an well-trafficked hallway, as anti-inspiration. An example of what not to do.

    Heck, after you finish (if you finish?) maybe write it up as a Software Engineering case study in "Worst Design and Documentation Practices Evar".



  • @snoofle said:

    @DoctorFriday said:

    down to like 300px wide?  That should obliterate just about anything.

    This is ongoing, as we speak. Can't risk it while I'm still working here... sorry.

     

    Well, if you get to the point where it's safe (and no, I'm not wishing you out of a job here!) you could just pixelate the whole thing... the shape and scope would still be visible.


  • @BlueKnot said:

    Well, if you get to the point where it's safe (and no, I'm not wishing you out of a job here!) you could just pixelate the whole thing... the shape and scope would still be visible.

    I have a copy safely tucked away - someday...

     



  • @snoofle said:

    @BlueKnot said:

    Well, if you get to the point where it's safe (and no, I'm not wishing you out of a job here!) you could just pixelate the whole thing... the shape and scope would still be visible.

    I have a copy safely tucked away - someday... 

    Keep in mind that most attempts to blur or pixelate an image with Photoshop can be reversed easily. 



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Keep in mind that most attempts to blur or pixelate an image with Photoshop can be reversed easily. 

    Thanks - I think it'll be safe in a year or 2 - by then, the system and people will be long gone. I know I will.

     



  • Spaghetti code is OK if you can flowchart.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Keep in mind that most attempts to blur or pixelate an image with Photoshop can be reversed easily. 

    But only if you write a GUI interface using Visual Basic



  • Well, at least you HAVE a flow chart.  I got nothing but source code.  I think I need a new job title:  Software Archaeologist.



  • @KludgeQueen said:

    Well, at least you HAVE a flow chart.  I got nothing but source code.  I think I need a new job title:  Software Archaeologist.

    Hm...

    Indiana Jones and the Source Code of DOOM!



  • @danixdefcon5 said:

    @KludgeQueen said:

    Well, at least you HAVE a flow chart.  I got nothing but source code.  I think I need a new job title:  Software Archaeologist.

    Hm...

    Indiana Jones and the Source Code of DOOM!

    Don't forget


    Indiana Jones and Readers of the Lost Doc


    Indiana Jones and the Last Upgrade



    and of course,


    Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Building of Crystal Reports



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @snoofle said:

    @BlueKnot said:

    Well, if you get to the point where it's safe (and no, I'm not wishing you out of a job here!) you could just pixelate the whole thing... the shape and scope would still be visible.

    I have a copy safely tucked away - someday... 

    Keep in mind that most attempts to blur or pixelate an image with Photoshop can be reversed easily. 

     

    That's if there's enough information to retreive in the first place.  If the image is 400 x 400 and used to be 5 "feet" wide to begin with, its safe to assume the entire map is going to be shrunk down to about 0.01 DPI.  When an entire node occupies 2 pixels, no amount of unblurring, unswirling, or CSI "can you enhance that?" will work.  Image (and audio) restoration is all about removing the distracting noise to find what real information still remains.  If none remains, you can't recover it. 



  • @FILE_NOT_FOUND said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Keep in mind that most attempts to blur or pixelate an image with Photoshop can be reversed easily. 

    But only if you write a GUI interface using Visual Basic
     

    You fool, those are only useful for tracking down exact addresses of phones and internet IP addresses in the 500.500.500.500 range! 



  • @Soviut said:

    That's if there's enough information to retreive in the first place.  If the image is 400 x 400 and used to be 5 "feet" wide to begin with
    As most fonts have a height of 10-15 pixels in their commonly used sizes at that width each letter would be a single pixel.



  • Snoofle, you've had five years. That's 250% of the time you quoted. Where is the monstrosity?



  • @Ben L. said:

    Snoofle, you've had five years. That's 250% of the time you quoted. Where is the monstrosity?

    Are you rereading the entire archive or something?



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @Ben L. said:
    Snoofle, you've had five years. That's 250% of the time you quoted. Where is the monstrosity?

    Are you rereading the entire archive or something?

    Yes :(



  • @Ben L. said:

    @morbiuswilters said:
    @Ben L. said:
    Snoofle, you've had five years. That's 250% of the time you quoted. Where is the monstrosity?

    Are you rereading the entire archive or something?

    Yes :(

    Well, you'll at least have the opportunity to read some classic pstorer; one whose tenure was so brief and beautiful as to be writ on water.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    so brief and beautiful as to be writ on water.
     

    snif



  • Is it just me, or did the sidebar turn somehow... meta ... in the last month? Or at least more meta than usual.



  • @dhromed said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    writ on water.

     

    snif

    I made that up, you know. That's a Morbius original.


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