The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built
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@PleegWat How do you know she's a witch. Does she weigh the same as a duck?
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@Mason_Wheeler That's straightforward to find out. Ducks float. So we'll tie her up and toss her in the lake. If she floats, she's a witch.
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@PleegWat I suddenly am slightly scared of where this conversation is going.......
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@Vixen Huh? I'm not talking about you. You're not a witch. Slightly perverted, perhaps, but I've seen no sign you're a witch.
Shot panning to @vixen living in a stereotypical witches' cottage completely optional
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@PleegWat said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
Shot panning to @vixen living in a stereotypical witches' cottage completely optional
objection!~ I don't live in that cottage!
I live under the front deck. That's entirely different.
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@AyGeePlus said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
@djls45 said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
If you start by buying, and the stock just goes up, it would sell when the price passed a certain threshold. If a setting was configured to continue trading, it would then re-buy at the new price and wait for it to keep going up, that way you would continue to make money as the stock continued climbing. If the direction turned and went down far enough, then it would sell enough to get back the original purchase price and then wait for the price to fall far enough to make the same desired profit. If it then goes up, at a new threshold, it will buy enough to cover the sell and then wait for the price to go high enough to make the desired profit.
I just read this in detail and it's stupid. I buy stock at price X, and then when it hits X+10 it sells all the stock and rebuys it? Just don't and say you did.
People running systems like this are who pays for market makers. If you sell all your stock at X+10, a market maker will buy it from you and sell it back to you at X+9.
Yeah, I didn't include the difference between the ask and bid prices, because I didn't want to get too far into the weeds, but the algorithm was supposed to take those into account. It still doesn't work.
@djls45 said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
Denver or Salt Lake City and Seattle or San Francisco then drilling holes through mountains would make more sense
Philadelphia somewhere? They pay a team of guys to drive up and down the whole fiber every day. Money is nothing.
I'm not sure what you're saying. Philly doesn't have any mountains to speak of. Driving up and down fiber? My @Gribnit parser is conking out.
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@Vixen said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
@PleegWat said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
Shot panning to @vixen living in a stereotypical witches' cottage completely optional
objection!~ I don't live in that cottage!
I live under the front deck. That's entirely different.
You know, that might explain a thing or two about you being a walking talking anthropomorphic fox, if you escaped from the witch's cottage.
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
@Zerosquare I've heard that dogs really love chocolate, which is moderately-to-severely toxic to them. (Source: a friend who is both a dog owner and a chocolate lover. This combination causes her and her family (and their dogs!) no end of pain and frustration.)
It depends on the breed of dog. Some dogs can eat a lot of it and feel no ill effects. Other types will get very sick or die if they eat any. (Source: a friend who had a dog that ate a whole bag of chocolates and called the vet in a panic. The dog was fine. IIRC, it did affect the dog's... uh... output... for a few days until it cleared its digestive system.)
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@djls45 My parents' dog one time got into a thing of Lindor chocolates. She ate half of them and left the wrappers all over the place, but didn't seem to suffer much from it.
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@hungrier said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
@djls45 My parents' dog one time got into a thing of Lindor chocolates. She ate half of them and left the wrappers all over the place, but didn't seem to suffer much from it.
I think we've had this discussion before. It mostly has to do with the size of the dog vs. the amount of chocolate consumed.
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@djls45 said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
I'm not sure what you're saying. Philly doesn't have any mountains to speak of. Driving up and down fiber? My @Gribnit parser is conking out.
My bad I meant pennsylvania. There's a hilly bit in the middle, so I guess that? I don't have firsthand knowledge of Pennsylvania or this particular fiber optic bit.
You have to recalibrate the parser for fintech. A guy in a pickup, or more accurately a team of guys in many pickups, drive the route of the optical fiber they laid every day. 'to check for problems'? Money has no meaning to these people.
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@AyGeePlus said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
@djls45 said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
I'm not sure what you're saying. Philly doesn't have any mountains to speak of. Driving up and down fiber? My @Gribnit parser is conking out.
My bad I meant pennsylvania. There's a hilly bit in the middle, so I guess that? I don't have firsthand knowledge of Pennsylvania or this particular fiber optic bit.
Ah, okay. Yeah, there's a "hilly bit in the middle" of the Appalachian "Mountains." Compared to the Rockies, though, they're naught but hills.
You have to recalibrate the parser for fintech. A guy in a pickup, or more accurately a team of guys in many pickups, drive the route of the optical fiber they laid every day. 'to check for problems'? Money has no meaning to these people.
Ah, literally driving along the fiber lines. And now I've got questions about how they laid the fiber. If it's underground, then there shouldn't be anything the guys could see to check.
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@djls45 said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
If it's underground, then there shouldn't be anything the guys could see to check.
They only do it once a day, so I guess they're checking for very slow digging projects? The point is to spend money so it looks expensive so they can charge exorbitant prices.
@djls45 said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
I've got questions
Don't we all.
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@Vixen said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
exactly! and I WANT humans to colonize other planets. The more humans that leave for colonization the fewer remain on earth and the better the planet will be for that.
Hairdressers, account executives, insurance salesmen, management consultants, etc. on the first ship out?
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@Gurth said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
@Vixen said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
exactly! and I WANT humans to colonize other planets. The more humans that leave for colonization the fewer remain on earth and the better the planet will be for that.
Hairdressers, account executives, insurance salesmen, management consultants, etc. on the first ship out?
i mean sure, they're human so that would work fine if y'all think you can do without them while you wait for the second and third ships....
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@Gurth said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
@Vixen said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
exactly! and I WANT humans to colonize other planets. The more humans that leave for colonization the fewer remain on earth and the better the planet will be for that.
Hairdressers, account executives, insurance salesmen, management consultants, etc. on the first ship out?
Don't forget the telephone sanitizers...
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@Gurth said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
Hairdressers, account executives, insurance salesmen, management consultants, etc. on the first ship out?
What do you have against hairdressers? They don't bother me, I don't bother them.
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@jinpa said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
@Gurth said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
Hairdressers, account executives, insurance salesmen, management consultants, etc. on the first ship out?
What do you have against hairdressers? They don't bother me, I don't bother them.
I don't have to bother them--I don't have any hair.
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
I don't have to bother them--I don't have any hair.
Mormons haven't been the same since shaving became allowed/required.
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@jinpa said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
I don't have to bother them--I don't have any hair.
Mormons haven't been the same since shaving became allowed/required.
Funny thing--
I shave/buzz my head and leave my beard out a bit. So I'm backward from the common idea of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In fact, if I went to work for the church (as a professor at BYU, for instance), I'd have to shave my face. Which would really be annoying.
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
@PleegWat How do you know she's a witch. Does she weigh the same as a duck?
@error_bot xkcd Monty python
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xkcd said in https://xkcd.com/16/ :
Monty Python -- Enough
Â(via https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?search=Monty+python&title=Special%3ASearch&fulltext=1)
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@PleegWat said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
@Vixen I suspect however many leave won't leave a dent in the number staying behind.
Yeah, they reproduce way too quickly...
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@djls45 said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
@remi said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
@djls45 Well, unless you're a Flat-Earther, the Earth curvature is enough to make some sort of mountains you could dig through when going from Chicago to NY. Although given that they're fairly close to each other (800 mi / 1200 km), I'm not sure how deep the tunnel would actually go, it might be more a trench than a tunnel...
True, but the difference between the signal propagation speeds around the earth's curve and across such a chord is so minuscule as to be negligible.
Remember this haggling about light feet of signal delay was 10 years¹ ago:
Trading is now essentially a virtual art, and its practitioners put such a premium on speed that NASDAQ has considered issuing equal 100-foot lengths of cable to the brokers who send orders to its exchange servers.
¹ The article says 2015 but the blog post I got this from is from 2009 so I suppose it's a repost on TR
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I just remembered I never did list my absurd projects here.
I can think of two off-hand:
- A website that used text files to track information about files rather than using a database. From what I've heard, this system is still in place largely unchanged 20 years later.
- A desktop application written in Java that was used to produce a series of weighted random numbers for a music instructor (to have people play random sections from a song). Oh, and it was supposed to be compiled to a standard desktop application despite written in Java; at the time, GCJ was the only option to do that and it was incredibly finicky.
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@powerlord said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
- A website that used text files to track information about files rather than using a database. From what I've heard, this system is still in place largely unchanged 20 years later.
This means you can add "20 years of experience with NoSQL technologies" to your resume!
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@powerlord said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
A website that used text files to track information about files rather than using a database.
Who needs a database? Databases are for sissies. Real
menfurry creatures from Alpha Centauri¹ use files!GCJ
Working with GCJ definitely qualifies.
¹ Fixed for sexism.
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@powerlord said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
A website that used text files to track information about files rather than using a database. From what I've heard, this system is still in place largely unchanged 20 years later.
No better way to share information!
Filed Under: Jam it!
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@LaoC said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
Trading is now essentially a virtual art, and its practitioners put such a premium on speed that NASDAQ has considered issuing equal 100-foot lengths of cable to the brokers who send orders to its exchange servers.
I forget all the details butHere's a video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8BcCLLX4N4
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@hungrier said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
Yes, except much more fat and less muscle. Oh, and my skin is pale white (or red, depending on whether I've gone outside recently).
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@hungrier said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
I forget all the details butHere's a video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8BcCLLX4N4Very nerdy. Not as nerdy as recycling a bunch of PAL TV delay line crystals but OK, we wouldn't want to overstabilize that market, right?
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@LaoC said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
Very nerdy. Not as nerdy as recycling a bunch of PAL TV delay line crystals but OK, we wouldn't want to overstabilize that market, right?
PAL delay lines? Pfff. Real menâ„¢ use springs:
https://i.imgur.com/cHvpVFo.jpg
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@Zerosquare said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
@LaoC said in The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Coded/Built:
Very nerdy. Not as nerdy as recycling a bunch of PAL TV delay line crystals but OK, we wouldn't want to overstabilize that market, right?
PAL delay lines? Pfff. Real menâ„¢ use springs:
https://i.imgur.com/cHvpVFo.jpgDelay line? That's not a delay line.
THIS is a delay line:
Springs have really sucky bandwidth. With the right modulation you could probably get 100 MBps across one of those piezo-glass things, hence "a bunch", to match the fiber's bandwidth.