Cows are fucked
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TL;DR: After 60 years of artificial insemination that resulted in rampant inbreeding, it turns out Holsteins, the most common breed of dairy cow, has only two different Y chromosomes left in the entire population. Some scientists dispute that it's a disaster.
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In 2017, a prize-winning cow named Selz-Pralle Aftershock 3918 cranked out 78,170 pounds of milk—more than 200 pounds every single day.
Holy shit, what an awful life that cow must have to pump out 200 pounds of milk a day through her body.
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I am disappointed. I was hoping this was an offshoot of the GirlsDoPorn thread.
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@Polygeekery said in Cows are fucked:
this was an offshoot of the GirlsDoPorn thread.
You're not wrong...
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@Polygeekery said in Cows are fucked:
I am disappointed. I was hoping this was an offshoot of the GirlsDoPorn thread.
The girls you’d call cows usually aren’t the ones that get fucked.
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@topspin said in Cows are fucked:
@Polygeekery said in Cows are fucked:
I am disappointed. I was hoping this was an offshoot of the GirlsDoPorn thread.
The girls you’d call cows usually aren’t the ones that get fucked.
You'd be surprised...
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@Polygeekery said in Cows are fucked:
I am disappointed. I was hoping this was an offshoot of the GirlsDoPorn thread.
RedNecksDoPorn?
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@topspin said in Cows are fucked:
@Polygeekery said in Cows are fucked:
I am disappointed. I was hoping this was an offshoot of the GirlsDoPorn thread.
The girls you’d call cows usually aren’t the ones that get fucked.
Seems to depend on how many beers are involved.
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@loopback0 2beers1cow
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@Gąska said in Cows are fucked:
@loopback0 2
0beers1cow
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@error_bot xkcd girls cups
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xkcd said in https://xkcd.com/467/
X Girls Y Cups
(via https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?search=girls+cups&title=Special%3ASearch&fulltext=1)
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Dechow’s team found two that weren’t related to Chief or Elevation, so they took those samples, got eggs from top-notch females, and created embryos to implant into surrogate Penn State heifers. The idea was to combine the half-century-old Y genetics with DNA from females who are among the finest examples of modern-day milk production. Over the course of 2017, the animals wound up giving birth to 15 calves, seven of them male. The oldest of these animals are about two and two now have calves of their own.
[insert cow pedophilia joke here]
Seriously, though, this is nothing particularly surprising. Optimize a complex system for one single variable (quantity of milk production per day per cow, in this case) to the exclusion of all else, and everything else will suffer. Holstein milk isn't really even all that good. If you want to know what really good milk is like, make friends with a farmer who has Jerseys. They're smaller cows with solid golden-brown colored fur all over, and the difference in milk quality is very noticeable.
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@topspin said in Cows are fucked:
@Polygeekery said in Cows are fucked:
I am disappointed. I was hoping this was an offshoot of the GirlsDoPorn thread.
The girls you’d call cows usually aren’t the ones that get fucked.
They do. It is just that no one admits to it.
A 2 at 10 is a 10 at 2.
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Several breeds of dogs have similar problems.
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@Carnage All (commercial) banana trees are clones of one tree.
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@Rhywden said in Cows are fucked:
@Carnage All (commercial) banana trees are clones of one tree.
As are all navel orange trees IIRC.
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@Carnage said in Cows are fucked:
Several breeds of dogs have similar problems.
I find that hard to believe. Though that might be because I'm Polish and we don't drink dog milk here.
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@Gąska said in Cows are fucked:
@Carnage said in Cows are fucked:
Several breeds of dogs have similar problems.
I find that hard to believe. Though that might be because I'm Polish and we don't drink dog milk here.
What? First you guys don't eat salmiak, then you don't have dog's milk? What manner of heathens are you people?
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@Carnage said in Cows are fucked:
Several breeds of dogs have similar problems.
If pugs go extinct, no one will shed a tear.
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@Carnage the bigos people.
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@Gąska That looks like someone had eaten it already.
Then again, this is a rather (in)famous Hamburg dish:
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@Rhywden Fried egg, beets(?), parsley, fish (kippers?), gherkins, and... what's the pink stuff?
What is this and why is it infamous?
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@Mason_Wheeler said in Cows are fucked:
@Rhywden Fried egg, beets(?), parsley, fish (kippers?), gherkins, and... what's the pink stuff?
What is this and why is it infamous?
That part from the article
Potatoes and salted meats were a standard fare and Labskaus would make a less than fresh cut of meat more palatable and stretch the meat supply.
is strictly speaking not telling the whole story - it was more of a "mix it all together and puree it a bit so it masks the fact that it'll go bad soon".
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@Mason_Wheeler said in Cows are fucked:
[insert cow pedophilia joke here]
I used to be into sadism, necrophilia, and bestiality, but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.
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@Gąska lasts longer than any other milk, dog's milk. Because no bugger will drink it.
Plus the advantage of dog's milk it it tastes exactly the same fresh as when it's gone off
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@Gąska said in Cows are fucked:
@error said in Cows are fucked:
I used to be into sadism
Used to?
Mitch Hedberg:
I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
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@topspin said in Cows are fucked:
@Polygeekery said in Cows are fucked:
I am disappointed. I was hoping this was an offshoot of the GirlsDoPorn thread.
The girls you’d call cows usually aren’t the ones that get fucked.
Most can find somebody.
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@error said in Cows are fucked:
@Gąska said in Cows are fucked:
Mitch Hedberg:
I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
I liked Mitch.
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@Rhywden said in Cows are fucked:
@Mason_Wheeler said in Cows are fucked:
@Rhywden Fried egg, beets(?), parsley, fish (kippers?), gherkins, and... what's the pink stuff?
What is this and why is it infamous?
That part from the article
Potatoes and salted meats were a standard fare and Labskaus would make a less than fresh cut of meat more palatable and stretch the meat supply.
is strictly speaking not telling the whole story - it was more of a "mix it all together and puree it a bit so it masks the fact that it'll go bad soon".
Apparently it's a dish from the UK that spread to much of northern europe. In Sweden it's currently called Lapskojs, but it's been called lappsko, which I'm pretty sure is because someone misheard it. Lappsko roughly translates to Sami shoe.
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@error said in Cows are fucked:
@Mason_Wheeler said in Cows are fucked:
[insert cow pedophilia joke here]
I used to be into sadism, necrophilia, and bestiality, but then I realized I was just beating off a dead horse.
FTFY
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@Karla said in Cows are fucked:
@error said in Cows are fucked:
@Gąska said in Cows are fucked:
Mitch Hedberg:
I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
I liked Mitch.
My favorite bit of his:
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
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@mikehurley said in Cows are fucked:
@Karla said in Cows are fucked:
@error said in Cows are fucked:
@Gąska said in Cows are fucked:
Mitch Hedberg:
I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
I liked Mitch.
My favorite bit of his:
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.Only if it fails into braked.
Not if it fails into neutral.
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@Polygeekery said in Cows are fucked:
I am disappointed. I was hoping this was an offshoot of the GirlsDoPorn thread.
I was fearful that it was...
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@PleegWat Why would an escalator even have neutral? Surely it's just fixed drive.
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@loopback0 said in Cows are fucked:
Surely it's just fixed drive.
Variable speed gearbox for escalators. In Lego...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU_VGgDM4Lc
(If it's not clear, the white elbow joint rotating (or not) at the bottom middle is the output to drive the stairs.
)
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But what about the ? I know the Scotts and Welshies love their sheep...
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@brie said in Cows are fucked:
@Polygeekery said in Cows are fucked:
I am disappointed. I was hoping this was an offshoot of the GirlsDoPorn thread.
I was fearful that it was...
Where's your sense of adventure?
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@loopback0 said in Cows are fucked:
@PleegWat Why would an escalator even have neutral? Surely it's just fixed drive.
And then there is the failure mode where there ends up being a big hole in the escalator where it swallows people and grinds them into pieces.
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@Mason_Wheeler said in Cows are fucked:
If you want to know what really good milk is like,
Ask your mom?
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@topspin said in Cows are fucked:
If pugs go extinct, no one will shed a tear.
If dismantling backyard storage buildings becomes impossible, no one will tear a shed.
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Reminds me of this spotted in Barrens Chat in WoW Classic the other day:
Young male orc looking for female tauren for a date and whatever happens after.
If he found one, it was definitely a cow getting fucked~
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@Atazhaia But do they find Mankrik's wife?
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@Carnage said in Cows are fucked:
Lappsko roughly translates to Sami shoe.
Still more edible than surströmming.