Enough with the handshakes
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Yeah, it happens in Poland too :(
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@gąska said in Enough with the handshakes:
@pjh said in Enough with the handshakes:
@gąska said in Enough with the handshakes:
In my workplace, I have to start every 1-on-1 online meeting with a small talk!
About something other than the subject of the meeting I take it?
Yeah. They're asking how my weekend was, and I have to make stuff up because I don't remember much from the weekend due to alcohol.
"I was drunk, so I don't remember very much of it."
I guarantee that after the second, maybe third, time you give them that answer, they won't ask you again.
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@anonymous234 said in Enough with the handshakes:
Oh, handshaking is no big deal. I have to do the weird awkward fake cheek kisses thing when meeting any female family member/acquaintance.
THREE TIMES! WE HAVE TO KISS CHEEKS THREE FREAKING TIMES!
But the worst thing is, it's also appropriate to do it just once under some unknown circumstances (if you are in a rush, I guess?). So about half the time, one person wants to do just one kiss, while the other is going for the trifecta. So if you go for just one and then try to pull away, then you're like a cold bastard who doesn't respect family and tradition. But if you misfire towards the full sequence, then you're like some gropey moron pining for slobbery cheek action.
YOU CAN'T WIN!
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@steve_the_cynic said in Enough with the handshakes:
@gąska said in Enough with the handshakes:
@pjh said in Enough with the handshakes:
@gąska said in Enough with the handshakes:
In my workplace, I have to start every 1-on-1 online meeting with a small talk!
About something other than the subject of the meeting I take it?
Yeah. They're asking how my weekend was, and I have to make stuff up because I don't remember much from the weekend due to alcohol.
"I was drunk, so I don't remember very much of it."
I guarantee that after the second, maybe third, time you give them that answer, they won't ask you again.
I'm still on probation, though.
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@gąska And admitting alcohol consumption during the weekend will screw your chances? Way to break the stereotype about Poles.
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When it comes to the two-finger gesture, it appears to take considerably more energy to twist your wrist so the hand faces outward than it takes to leave it inwards.
Politeness shouldn't be the more tiring way. There are lazy people out here.
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@gąska said in Enough with the handshakes:
@izzion fucking white* Americans.
Not in to the interracial thing, eh?
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@gąska said in Enough with the handshakes:
@izzion fucking white* Americans.
What, exactly, is wrong with doing that with white Americans? (Or, indeed, any other colour.)
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@khudzlin said in Enough with the handshakes:
@gąska And admitting alcohol consumption during the weekend will screw your chances? Way to break the stereotype about Poles.
Welcome to 21st century, where everyone still drinks just like before, but being drunk at work can get you fired. What we used to drink over 18 hours, we now drink within 10.
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I'm pretty happy to live in a country of mild social recluses.
Handshake the first time you meet someone, every following time it's a wave from a safe distance.
At work, a grunt is enough to say "hello" in the morning. :P
You can be more social. It's just not that strange to not do it.The bad bit is that on medium size social gatherings you are expected to shake hands of every-fucking-one in the room as soon as you enter it.
Now, I don't really have much of a social function in my brain, so I just wave, say "Hi!" and go sit in a secluded, preferably dark, corner and talk to other people that have other interests than soccer or hockey.
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@gąska said in Enough with the handshakes:
@khudzlin said in Enough with the handshakes:
@gąska And admitting alcohol consumption during the weekend will screw your chances? Way to break the stereotype about Poles.
Welcome to 21st century, where everyone still drinks just like before, but being drunk at work can get you fired. What we used to drink over 18 hours, we now drink within 10.
Drinking during the weekend isn't remotely the same as being drunk at work.
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@khudzlin but getting totally wasted is bad either way.
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@gąska said in Enough with the handshakes:
@khudzlin but getting totally wasted is bad either way.
Even if you show up to work sober?
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@khudzlin I'd say that yes, even then. It shows that you cannot drink responsibly. Though since I never mentioned it to my remote coworkers, I have no idea what they'd think actually.
When I say totally wasted, I mean don't-remember-anything-anymore-and-suddenly-wake-up-the-afternoon-after-on-a-bench-next-to-bus-stop-on-the-opposite-side-of-the-city kind of wasted.
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@gąska said in Enough with the handshakes:
When I say totally wasted, I mean don't-remember-anything-anymore-and-suddenly-wake-up-the-afternoon-after-on-a-bench-next-to-bus-stop-on-the-opposite-side-of-the-city kind of wasted.
I think you may have bigger problems than just keeping a job.
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@cartman82 said in Enough with the handshakes:
@remi Becoming a hated social pariah in the office is a small price to pay for not having to shake hands, I guess...
Seriously though: if you don't want to do the handshakes, find your coworkers and tell them just once "sorry if I don't shake your hand from now on, I [don't like it/don't like germs/have a medical condition/keep my hands constantly coated in snail slime for beauty reasons/other excuse]".
It will be a slightly awkward conversation, but less awkward than any other methods of breaking the convention.
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Here in the Midwest most people do handshakes even if you already know them. The younger generations do fist bumps instead.
I don't handshake my closest friends. Normally we greet by calling each other insulting names.
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@cartman82 said in Enough with the handshakes:
@gąska said in Enough with the handshakes:
You find handshakes annoying? In my workplace, I have to start every 1-on-1 online meeting with a small talk! Fucking Americans.
AKH YES! Business contacts insisting on chit-chat before getting down to business should be its own thread.
I once attended a seminar on that — personality types and communication styles. Some people want to build relationships and love chit-chat before getting down to business. Some people want to cut right to the chase — tell me the problem; tell me your proposed solution; don't bore me with details; if I need more information to make a decision, I'll ask for it. Others want all the details up front. Some need reassurance that their concerns will be addressed. Learning to recognize each personality and adapt your communication style to the one they prefer is a useful skill.
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@boomzilla said in Enough with the handshakes:
@gąska said in Enough with the handshakes:
When I say totally wasted, I mean don't-remember-anything-anymore-and-suddenly-wake-up-the-afternoon-after-on-a-bench-next-to-bus-stop-on-the-opposite-side-of-the-city kind of wasted.
I think you may have bigger problems than just keeping a job.
Being Polish?
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@hardwaregeek said in Enough with the handshakes:
@boomzilla said in Enough with the handshakes:
@gąska said in Enough with the handshakes:
When I say totally wasted, I mean don't-remember-anything-anymore-and-suddenly-wake-up-the-afternoon-after-on-a-bench-next-to-bus-stop-on-the-opposite-side-of-the-city kind of wasted.
I think you may have bigger problems than just keeping a job.
Being Polish?
Related?
Stephen Lawrence woke up like that on a day back in November 2015.
Couldn’t remember much of anything from a four-sheets-to-the-wind drinking session with a booze buddy the previous evening.
Sent a text to his pal saying, heck, didn’t know how he’d got home but hoping he hadn’t been “a super a--hole last night.”
He had.
The friend — likely no longer — responded rather tetchily that Lawrence had bitten off his ear, which he might now lose altogether. Gives a whole new, and literal, meaning to chewing someone’s ear off.
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@boomzilla said in Enough with the handshakes:
@gąska said in Enough with the handshakes:
When I say totally wasted, I mean don't-remember-anything-anymore-and-suddenly-wake-up-the-afternoon-after-on-a-bench-next-to-bus-stop-on-the-opposite-side-of-the-city kind of wasted.
I think you may have bigger problems than just keeping a job.
That I ran out of alcohol? Already taken care of.
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Enough with the handshakes
SYN
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@anonymous234 said in Enough with the handshakes:
Oh, handshaking is no big deal. I have to do the weird awkward fake cheek kisses thing when meeting any female family member/acquaintance.
Not in formal environments, thank god.I'm struggling to find the downside in coming into work and kissing women. Sounds like a load of fun to me. YMMV and all that.
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@ben_lubar More like
RST
.
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@stillwater said in Enough with the handshakes:
@anonymous234 said in Enough with the handshakes:
Oh, handshaking is no big deal. I have to do the weird awkward fake cheek kisses thing when meeting any female family member/acquaintance.
Not in formal environments, thank god.I'm struggling to find the downside in coming into work and kissing women. Sounds like a load of fun to me. YMMV and all that.
Ah, so your olfactory senses don't work? Gotcha...
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@mott555 said in Enough with the handshakes:
@cartman82 Just walk around with your hands in the front of your pants. Most sane people will not want to shake hands with you anymore.
Random selection that wouldn't be out of place in NE England...
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@stillwater said in Enough with the handshakes:
@anonymous234 said in Enough with the handshakes:
Oh, handshaking is no big deal. I have to do the weird awkward fake cheek kisses thing when meeting any female family member/acquaintance.
Not in formal environments, thank god.I'm struggling to find the downside in coming into work and kissing women. Sounds like a load of fun to me. YMMV and all that.
Except that when you do "la bise", you aren't actually kissing them. You touch cheeks and make a sort of kissing noise, and that's as much as there is.
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@steve_the_cynic At most, it's a peck on the cheek.
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@steve_the_cynic said in Enough with the handshakes:
Except that when you do "la bise", you aren't actually kissing them. You touch cheeks and make a sort of kissing noise, and that's as much as there is.
@khudzlin said in Enough with the handshakes:
@steve_the_cynic At most, it's a peck on the cheek.
Huge letdown, pointless and wasted effort.
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@topspin said in Enough with the handshakes:
You're in France, your colleagues show the number two with two fingers (kind of obvious, isn't it) like a reversed victory or peace sign, and you get upset that completely unbeknownst to them this simple sign is rude in England?
Especially given that they’ll probably also count all other numbers on their fingers in the same manner (that is, with the back of the hand to the other person). I know this is the normal way of showing numbers on your fingers in the Netherlands, so probably in France too, going by the complaint.
(This has made me recall seeing on MTV a long time ago a Dutch presenter doing just this, holding two fingers up to to the camera to support that she was saying something like, “Not one but two” or whatever. The English co-presenter next to her quickly grabbed her hand and turned it around. And people wonder why I do well at Trivial Pursuit.)
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@blakeyrat said in Enough with the handshakes:
... seriously, though, why the fuck would you shake hands with someone you've already met?
As usual: cultural differences. About ten years ago, I was around a fair number of Arabs (refugees, I wasn’t in an Arabian country) and they pretty much all want to shake hands with you as part of saying “hello”. Where I come from, though, you shake hands when you first meet someone, to congratulate them on their birthday or for winning/being awarded something, and possibly after concluding a business deal. A few hundred years ago, that last one was the only thing you shook hands for in these parts.
That said, I wouldn’t mind not shaking people’s hands at all :)
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@gurth said in Enough with the handshakes:
@topspin said in Enough with the handshakes:
You're in France, your colleagues show the number two with two fingers (kind of obvious, isn't it) like a reversed victory or peace sign, and you get upset that completely unbeknownst to them this simple sign is rude in England?
Especially given that they’ll probably also count all other numbers on their fingers in the same manner (that is, with the back of the hand to the other person). I know this is the normal way of showing numbers on your fingers in the Netherlands, so probably in France too, going by the complaint.
(This has made me recall seeing on MTV a long time ago a Dutch presenter doing just this, holding two fingers up to to the camera to support that she was saying something like, “Not one but two” or whatever. The English co-presenter next to her quickly grabbed her hand and turned it around. And people wonder why I do well at Trivial Pursuit.)
3 glasses – 01:26
— mmisnotacandy
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I hear burping in Arab culture is considered a polite gesture, as it shows you've enjoyed your host's provided meal.
Don't take my word for it though.
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@zecc said in Enough with the handshakes:
I hear burping in Arab culture is considered a polite gesture, as it shows you've enjoyed your host's provided meal.
Don't take my word for it though.I get all my knowledge about Arab culture from that one lunch scene in Indiana Jones 2, so that sounds reasonable to me.
(and before some pendant points out they are not Arabs THAT'S THE JOKE)
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@cartman82 you're thinking of Lawrence of Arabia. Indiana Jones is the one with the millennium falcon
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@jaloopa said in Enough with the handshakes:
@cartman82 you're thinking of Lawrence of Arabia. Indiana Jones is the one with the millennium falcon
Maltese falcon, to be exact.
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@mrl said in Enough with the handshakes:
@jaloopa said in Enough with the handshakes:
@cartman82 you're thinking of Lawrence of Arabia. Indiana Jones is the one with the millennium falcon
Maltese falcon, to be exact.
Not the peregrine falcon out of Stuart Little?
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@zecc said in Enough with the handshakes:
I hear burping in Arab culture is considered a polite gesture, as it shows you've enjoyed your host's provided meal.
Don't take my word for it though.
My friend from Hong Kong explained that in China smacking the lips, etc. while eating shows appreciation for the meal as well, explaining the behavior of some of my co-workers. It still fucking drives me crazy.
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@heterodox said in Enough with the handshakes:
in China smacking the lips, etc. while eating shows appreciation for the meal as well
I couldn't live there.
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@pjh said in Enough with the handshakes:
Ah yes, misophonia: the condition of hearing miso soup being eaten.
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@pjh said in Enough with the handshakes:
I couldn't live there.
Same. I'm never sure whether I want to put a label on it like that, but I'm well aware that my reaction to "bad" sounds is completely disproportionate to that of most people.
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@mrl said in Enough with the handshakes:
Maltese falcon, to be exact.
That’s the bird made of chocolate with a crunchy centre, right?
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@gurth said in Enough with the handshakes:
That’s the bird made of chocolate with a crunchy centre, right?
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@gurth said in Enough with the handshakes:
@mrl said in Enough with the handshakes:
Maltese falcon, to be exact.
That’s the bird made of chocolate with a crunchy centre, right?