The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread
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@Mason_Wheeler My son shot me for asking him this.
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A man was at the Olympic stadium when he saw an athlete, in shorts and vest, carrying a pole in one hand "Are you a pole-vaulter?" he shouted.
"No, I’m German," said the athlete, "but how did you know my name?"
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@boomzilla said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
I've been half-expecting someone else to come up and say IDGI, but I've given up and done my due diligence:
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From my uncle, who is an inveterate punster:
One particular bar in our neighborhood has a very well groomed resident cat who is quite friendly. In fact the owner has a rule that no customer may order a drink without having the kitty sit in his lap and groom herself for a while. He wants to be sure that all his customers can hold their licker.
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I don't get most of the jokes in this thread. Can't decide whether it's a good or a bad thing.
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@Gąska said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
I don't get most of the jokes in this thread. Can't decide whether it's a good or a bad thing.
That really depends if you value puns as humor.
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@Dragoon they cause me physical pain, so...
On the other hand, it makes me realize just how bad my English actually is and how much more work I have to put in before I can fully integrate in the American society.
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@Gąska puns are the best form of humor.
But seriously, lots of native English speakers struggle with puns. Don't take it too seriously. Honestly, your English is good enough that I don't see the obvious telsl of ESLs. Or even the not so obvious ones.
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@Benjamin-Hall but you see, we only interact in text. Puns rely on how words are spoken. Speaking in English really isn't my good side.
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Ah, but you forget. The US is a large country, speaking in English is not the good side of New Orleans or Florida and we accept them.
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@Gąska said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
just how bad my English actually is and how much more work I have to put in before I can fully integrate in the American society.
Isn't having problems with English an integration requirement?
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Gąska puns are the best form of humor.
But seriously, lots of native English speakers struggle with puns. Don't take it too seriously. Honestly, your English is good enough that I don't see the obvious telsl of ESLs. Or even the not so obvious ones.
English is a very puny language. In other languages you can't make puns that easily.
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@Gąska said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
Speaking in English really isn't my good side.
I assume in Poland most English-spoken media is overdubbed?
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@Bulb said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Gąska puns are the best form of humor.
But seriously, lots of native English speakers struggle with puns. Don't take it too seriously. Honestly, your English is good enough that I don't see the obvious telsl of ESLs. Or even the not so obvious ones.
English is a very puny language. In other languages you can't make puns that easily.
You just have to find them.
Q: How much milk does a cow give in her life?
A: The same amount she gives coming down.In Spanish, this is a great pun based on su vida being pronounced exactly like subida.
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@Gąska said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Benjamin-Hall but you see, we only interact in text. Puns rely on how words are spoken. Speaking in English really isn't my good side.
Some puns really is not about how good your English is, but whether you're heard the related idea. (say, the "optimist" and "half foal" one, you need to think of "half full" when you see "optimist" to get that one)
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@Bulb said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
English is a very puny language. In other languages you can't make puns that easily.
Cantonese is very puny language too. The original "adult oriented" version of "McMug" animation is full of puns in Cantonese.
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@El_Heffe said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
You'll have to convert to Saint Nicholas. Since his helpers merely have to drop a burlap sack of presents down the chimney, safe social distance is maintained.
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@Bulb said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
English is a very puny language. In other languages you can't make puns that easily.
You wait until you start doing multilingual puns. They tend to be real howlers, but simultaneously very exclusive to a small number of listeners as you need to be fluent in all the languages being used to get them.
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@dkf Like the magician who disappears after saying "un, dos, ..." ?
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@Zecc The only multilingual one I know (and already posted at least once in the past) is about two Germans in a English-speaking country asking at a bar for "Martinis, please!", the bar-tender then asking them "dry?" to which they reply "nein, zwei!"
Back to @Bulb's comment, I've heard the same ("in other languages you can't make puns that easily") being said about French, which shows how wrong that view is. I wouldn't say that you can easily make puns in all languages (what do I know? plus it could be that for some definition of "language" i.e. lojban, you actually can't), but I suspect you can in most of them.
It's likely just that, as @Gąska said, they're hard to get if you're not very fluent (I also struggle with a few of those here, oftentimes I have to try and say them out loud and hope I got the pronunciation/accent right which sometimes takes trying a couple of possible ones), so you tend to only ever really get those in your native language and think there aren't as many in other languages.
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@PleegWat said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
his
helpersslavesRoetpieten
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@dkf said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Bulb said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
English is a very puny language. In other languages you can't make puns that easily.
You wait until you start doing multilingual puns. They tend to be real howlers, but simultaneously very exclusive to a small number of listeners as you need to be fluent in all the languages being used to get them.
This isn't a pun but did come from me wanting to know the answer to the question. It requires English (w/ a Boston accent) and Spanish.
What is the difference between aquí and acá?
Answer
You put a aquí in a acá.
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@El_Heffe said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
Why not take advantage of the situation and save some money on the gifts this year?
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@dkf said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Bulb said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
English is a very puny language. In other languages you can't make puns that easily.
You wait until you start doing multilingual puns. They tend to be real howlers, but simultaneously very exclusive to a small number of listeners as you need to be fluent in all the languages being used to get them.
I think this one needs three (French, English and Mandarin), or at least Chinese and familiarity with a certain Belgian surrealist:
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@da-Doctah said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
I think this one needs three (French, English and Mandarin), or at least Chinese and familiarity with a certain Belgian surrealist:
Talking about 「琵琶」, it reminds me about a poem someone wrote to make fun of himself when he miswritten 「琵琶」as 「枇杷」(word with the same pronunciation, however is a fruit instead of musical instrument)
枇杷不是此琵琶, It is "lute" and not "loquat"
只怨當年識字差. Too bad I didn't learn the right word.
若是琵琶能結果, If we can grow fruit from lute,
滿城簫管盡開花. All the flutes in the city would grow flowers.
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@cheong said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@da-Doctah said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
I think this one needs three (French, English and Mandarin), or at least Chinese and familiarity with a certain Belgian surrealist:
Talking about 「琵琶」, it reminds me about a poem someone wrote to make fun of himself when he miswritten 「琵琶」as 「枇杷」(word with the same pronunciation, however is a fruit instead of musical instrument)
For the benefit of the Chinese-impaired: I chose the lute-like instrument because its name is pronounced "pipa", as close as I could come to Magritte's Walloonish "pipe", so the sentence essentially says "this is not a pipa". When I showed the image to a vendor at a Chinese street fair, she did find it funny, which I take to mean that my translation could be understood.
(And we should end this here, lest the thread degenerate into an ambush from ten directions.)
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Personally I prefer to work wearing casual clothing, but if you think differently, that's okay. Suit yourself.
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@da-Doctah said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
lest the thread degenerate
This is the bad pun thread. Things don't get much more degenerate than that.
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@HardwareGeek I don't see any eigenstates with identical eigenvalues anywhere around here, so nothing degenerate to be seen.
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@Benjamin-Hall although, if you stretch things, you might consider all puns degenerate: same word (or sound), so same value. But different states (meanings).
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
eigenstates ... eigenvalues
I recognize these words. I don't have a clue what they mean. Part of the problem, no doubt, is that I barely had a clue even when I was taking Solid State Physics 30+ years ago, and the passage of time certainly hasn't improved my understanding.
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@HardwareGeek said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
eigenstates ... eigenvalues
I recognize these words. I don't have a clue what they mean. Part of the problem, no doubt, is that I barely had a clue even when I was taking Solid State Physics 30+ years ago, and the passage of time certainly hasn't improved my understanding.
As someone studied higher diploma in mathematics, I barely remember basic matrix operations using them. That's because I don't even have a chance to use them after having real work life.
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@HardwareGeek said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
eigenstates ... eigenvalues
I recognize these words. I don't have a clue what they mean. Part of the problem, no doubt, is that I barely had a clue even when I was taking Solid State Physics 30+ years ago, and the passage of time certainly hasn't improved my understanding.
Given a linear operator A defined on a vector space (for you non-physics/math types, that might be a square matrix of integers), the eigenstates (or eigenvectors) and eigenvalues of that operator are defined by the equation
Ax = bx
where
x
is a vector (an eigenvector) in the vector space that is transformed into itself scaled by a scalar quantityb
(the eigenvalue).For instance, consider quantum mechanics. The Schrodinger equation states that H|ψ> = E|ψ> for stationary states--that is, a stationary state is one that is not changed (other than by scaling) by the time-evolution operator H (called the Hamiltonian of the system,), thus the stationary states are eigenstates of the Hamiltonian. E is an eigenvalue corresponding to that particular eigenstate. As a concrete example, the "orbitals" of the hydrogen atom are the eigenstates of the hydrogen atom Hamiltonian, with the energy levels being the eigenvalues. All other wave functions in that field will change and decay into some linear combination of eigenstates. That's the value of it--if we can find the eigenstates of an operator, we can construct an (infinite) set of orthogonal basis functions and express any other state as some linear combination of those basis states. It's the bread and butter of quantum mechanics.
If you have two distinct eigenstates with identical eigenvalues, we call those states "degenerate". And you can construct linear combinations of the degenerate states that have unique eigenvalues (and "break" the degeneracy). For example, the spin angular momentum states (ie px, py, pz etc suborbitals) are degenerate eigenstates of the single-electron Hamiltonian--they have the same energy but are unique states. So really an electron in the 2px state is identical (unless you introduce a magnetic field) to one in the 2pz or 2py--those "states" aren't really there and it's all really some linear combination of the three possibilities until measured.
Likely more than you really wanted to know.
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@Benjamin-Hall So many words. For us more visually inclined:
This is the result of applying a linear transformation to 2D vector space.
The transformation's eigenvectors are the blue and pink vectors; their direction is unchanged. Their corresponding eigenvalues are
23 and 1: how much these vectors are scaled.
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@Zecc I fully admit my prolix nature. I'm never content to use a small word where a brobignobian word would do, and similarly never content to use one word where a dozen would do.
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@Zecc said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
Their corresponding eigenvalues are 2 and 1
Pretty sure they’re 3 and 1; that transformation looks a lot more like
2 1 1 2
than it does
1.5 0.5 0.5 1.5
and it’s eminently clear that
2 1 × 1 = 3 1 2 1 3 = 3 . 1 1
</>
edit: oh, I just looked at the section Zecc linked, and it explicitly gives the matrix as [[2,1],[1,2]] with λ = 3 for [[v₁],[v₁]]. Somehow this pendantry now feels unecessary.
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Neeerddds! Outa here with the unfunny!
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@Tsaukpaetra Nerdery is funny. Funny looking, that is. Like yo mamma!
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Tsaukpaetra Nerdery is funny. Funny looking, that is. Like yo mamma!
Eyooo!