The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread
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A guy had successfully cloned himself. Only problem was that the clone for some reason had an obnoxious habit of getting in people's face. He explained to his clone, "You have to stop all the harassment of others; people think you're me!"
It did no good.
Finally, after one incident too many, he took his clone for a long walk in the mountains and pushed him off a steep cliff.
He was arrested by the police, for making a harassing clone fall.
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@Mason_Wheeler Not just a bad pun, it's a pretty bad shop too.
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@djls45 When 900 years old you are, look as good, you will not.
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
Wait, where's Schmidlapp? Of Big Ben Distilleries?
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@Mason_Wheeler Except AFAIK that's not the 900yo Yoda.
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@djls45 said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
Ghyeeehh!!
Born with it I may be, Maybeline could be it.
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@djls45 AIUI, the baby Yoda is 50 years old, which is super dumb. Why even put a concrete figure on it? Now it's injected a bunch of stupidity into canon that wasn't there before
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@hungrier said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
it's injected a bunch of stupidity into canon
It's not as if it's unique in doing that.
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@HardwareGeek said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@hungrier said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
it's injected a bunch of stupidity into canon
It's not as if it's unique in doing that.
"midichlorians"
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@Mason_Wheeler The leaves aren't visible in that picture, but the trunk does not appear to be a palm tree in the botanical sense. The joke would be a lot more obvious (not necessarily better) if it were.
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What did the C in indictment say to the G in arraignment?
You have the right to remain silent
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@dkf said in In other news today...:
a linac is better when you can build it
Which you can, because Linacs is open source.
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@HardwareGeek said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Mason_Wheeler The leaves aren't visible in that picture, but the trunk does not appear to be a palm tree in the botanical sense. The joke would be a lot more obvious (not necessarily better) if it were.
The artist was a pansy for not moving to a tropical climate for the sake of the joke.
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@PleegWat said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
An English product name on the house branch of a French supermarket?
Are you sure that's not shopped?They translate their stuff to our local language, why wouldn't they have an english version too?
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@Mason_Wheeler The key is black. The I is white.
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My weird uncle invented a thought-controlled air freshener. Sounds crazy, but...
...it makes scents when you think about it.
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@sockpuppet7 said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
why wouldn't they have an english version too?
Don't think they operate in English-speaking markets.
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I asked the doctor if I could administer my own anesthetic. He said "sure, go ahead, knock yourself out."
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@obeselymorbid :when_one_facepalm_isnt_enough.mp4:
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The only thing Flat Earthers fear is sphere itself.
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A few years back, automobile passengers driving along the main highway through the Boston area gradually began noticing more and more dead crows littering the road. So many, in fact, that a team of scientists was called in to figure out what was going on, some disease, predator, idiot kids, what have you.
However, there seemed to be no apparent pattern amongst the bodies—various ages, flight patterns in ALL directions, bacterial and viral cultures were giving up zip. No new known predators of crows seemed to be migrating in, and because of the proximity to the highway, foot traffic was quite limited and easily monitored.
Becoming desperate and with the fear of some unknown H93629N29363 flu [or the way-over-the-top public frenzy that would result], the CDC had several dozen frozen carcasses shipped to their labs for more in-depth study.
Careful visual examination revealed flecks of paint, which had previously been overlooked due to budgetary concerns and the fact that, well, it’s dead roadkill crows, on every single dead bird. One quick-thinker proposed a small collection of pigment from each bird, labeled, then run through a gas chromatograph could at least give these poor guys SOME sort of lead as to what sort of vehicles were such a fatal attraction to the crows, even if it wouldn’t have any hope of explaining why.
Desperate, the director agreed and the tests were conducted. Then, going through the results, the scientists found that only paint from trucks was present of the dead birds.
Not cars or SUVs or motorcycles, but tractor trailer trucks.How was the mystery solved?
And here’s where the mystery was solved—The director of the CDC was originally from the Boston area where he had earned an extra doctorate in the behavior of carrion birds. See, when a flock of crows settle in to eat that decaying deer in the middle of traffic, one crow stays up in a tree in order to scout for danger. Anytime a car would be approaching, he’d dutifully squawk, ‘CAH! CAH!’ and the flock would retreat to safety.Unfortunately, with the accent, ‘TRUCK!’ just wasn’t going to happen.
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A few days ago I was at the gas station, fueling up. I noticed a guy at another pump, and I was a bit shocked to see he was smoking while pumping gas! And even more shocked to notice a few police officers just standing by, watching him do it!
Sure enough, when he pulled the pump out of his car, something went wrong, and it lit his arm on fire! He was screaming and flailing around, and that's when the cops got involved. They ran over, one of them grabbing him while the other took off his jacket and used it to smother the blaze. But then they pulled out their handcuffs, snapped them on the unfortunate smoker, and stuffed him into their squad car.
I asked them, "why are you arresting this guy?"
They said, "he was waving a firearm at us!"
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@Tsaukpaetra Come on. What is that in front of him?
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Tsaukpaetra Come on. What is that in front of him?
It appears to be a foot-pedal powered sewing machine of the brand "singer" embedded in a collapsing stowaway table.
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@Tsaukpaetra Yep. And what does such a machine do? And why would that show up in juxtaposition with Captain Picard?
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Tsaukpaetra Yep. And what does such a machine do?
Depends. This particular unit is capable of some things, like repeatedly and accurately stabbing a needle through a material.
And why would that show up in juxtaposition with Captain Picard?
Beats me. In my opinion the two objects are entirely unrelated, unless Picard is a hitherto unknown seamster.
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@Tsaukpaetra make it... sew?
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Tsaukpaetra make it... sew?
... .... ....
Ah.
Ha ha...
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
"Tea. Earl Grey. Hot."
Nope. Doesn't work.
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@da-Doctah said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
@Mason_Wheeler said in The unofficial offical bad pun of the day thread:
"Tea. Earl Grey. Hot."
Nope. Doesn't work.
"Engage!"
Well, maybe if he's making a wedding dress...
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