Serve America (a shitty website)!
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Hello, Good Citizen. Are you ready to serve
Dear LeaderAMERICA. Well, you are invited to click your browser over to the jobs site on MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!https://www.greatagain.gov/serve-america.html
https://www.greatagain.gov/serve-america.htmlYou won't just be applying for a """"job"""". You will be SERVING your country in only the way a Drupal 7 site can serve you. Did we rush to get this shit up? YE-- I MEAN NO!
Please ignore the constant mixture of "President" and "President-Elect". Even we know words don't have meaning.
Be sure to visit our indepth job application site, too!
https://apply.ptt.gov/
https://apply.ptt.gov/And by site, I mean single page.
And by single page, I mean single form.
And by single form, I mean an off-the-shelf SalesForce site we threw up that probably came free with the domain and OH MY GOD WE DIDN'T DO ANY PREP FOR THIS AND WE TAKE OFFICE IN JANUARY AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW MANY POSITIONS DO WE NEED TO FILL AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
Ahem.
I mean, select from our overwhelming combo-select boxes and INVENT YOUR OWN JOB!
Please be aware that if you're going to work for us, you WILL be going through extreme vetting, including opening up all your personal finances and going through conflict of interest screenings. So if you want low-level Manager for the National Endowment for the Arts, you WILL be going through a more rigorous screening process than the President himself. Also, please ignore that these screenings can take upwards of 9 weeks, and we're going into a long weekend, and the transition is in ~2 months...
And remember what our site says. No commie pinkos-- I mean, no one with a background that, I quote " in short, anything that might embarrass
Dear Leaderthe President or you if he should choose you for a position in his administration."We look forward to receiving your resume-- and by that I mean we look forward to having this SalesForce form dump a whole bunch of Word Docs into TrumpJobs@Gmail.Com!!!
Good luck, Applicant, you will be informed if you've been graced to be
a contestantinterviewed by the President. Or President-Elect. Look, we're really not sure how any of this shit works OMFG we are so screwed.
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@Lorne-Kates You forgot about making sure your SSN isn't part of your resumé and that the whole isn't more than 131,072 characters.
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@Lorne-Kates said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
only the way a Drupal 7 site can serve you. Did we rush to get this shit up? YE-- I MEAN NO!
off-the-shelf SalesForce site
This reminds me of an article that enumerated campaign websites of presidential candidates and gave minus points to those using WordPress, Drupal etc.
I'm like " people" on this. These are exactly the tool for the job, aren't they? What should they be using instead?
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@pydsigner said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Lorne-Kates You forgot about making sure your SSN isn't part of your resumé and that the whole isn't more than 131,072 characters.
Best way to get government workers fired:
Email them random documents with your social security number in them! It'll fall afoul of the PII regs and get their account suspended!
(Based on a true story. This did actually happen)
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@sloosecannon said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
This did actually happen
Links or it didn't
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@Lorne-Kates YOU'RE FIRED!
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@marczellm said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
These are exactly the tool for the job, aren't they? What should they be using instead?
Yeah... I mean... it's not like technical people make fun of other people for using Apple products simply because they're designed for the convenience of mass consumption without thought.
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@Lorne-Kates said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
embarrass
Wouldn't facebook disqualify most people then?
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@marczellm said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
. These are exactly the tool for the job, aren't they?
For $500 I can have designers design me a website I then would have to implement myself, or I can have them make a wordpress theme for me and I can have my blog be done already. I know what I'm picking...
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@Yamikuronue said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@marczellm said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
. These are exactly the tool for the job, aren't they?
For $500 I can have designers design me a website I then would have to implement myself, or I can have them make a wordpress theme for me and I can have my blog be done already. I know what I'm picking...
Given that the wordpress blog will be riddled with security vulns and backdoors because it's wordpress, I'd say you might be better off selecting a stone tablet as your writing medium. (Hint: the one designed by the designers won't be less riddled with vulns and backdoors.)
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@Steve_The_Cynic said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
(Hint: the one designed by the designers won't be less riddled with vulns and backdoors.)Intangible things are great like that.
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I'm going to seriously apply. Wish me luck. I'll post what happens (with PI stripped, of course).
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@Sumireko said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
with PI stripped
How do you strip for 3,14 parts? Keep on your socks and half a shirt?
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@Steve_The_Cynic said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
Hint: the one designed by the designers won't be less riddled with vulns and backdoors.
Because they too use Wordpress?
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I feel a bit suspicious.
I mean, .gov, but still, not one photo? The explanations are copy pasted?
This seems like some interns work that was forgotten about.
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@Gąska said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Steve_The_Cynic said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
Hint: the one designed by the designers won't be less riddled with vulns and backdoors.
Because they too use Wordpress?
Sorry, should have said, "even if they don't also use Wordpress".
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@sloosecannon said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@pydsigner said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Lorne-Kates You forgot about making sure your SSN isn't part of your resumé and that the whole isn't more than 131,072 characters.
Best way to get government workers fired:
Email them random documents with your social security number in them! It'll fall afoul of the PII regs and get their account suspended!
(Based on a true story. This did actually happen)
This one made me think of a telephonic(1) conversation my wife had with a British bureaucrat in the late 1990s.
(1) Telephonic and not by email for reasons that will become clear...
The bureaucrat had somehow taken away from an internal briefing that the act of him sending an email to my wife's email address would directly lead to his computer getting a virus. (Not: "would enable her to send one to his email", nor "would set in motion a series of events that would ultimately give his computer a virus", but that his act of sending an email, by itself, with nothing else involved, would somehow and directly result in his computer getting a virus.)
The document that this fine chap had offered to send did eventually arrive, duly emblazoned on a slice of dried tree puree.
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@ScholRLEA said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Lorne-Kates YOU'RE FIRED!
Ain't no one fire Lorne. They've made the biggest mistake ever. I'm the best, and those f**** idiots just f**** the wrong motherf****. You don't know anything, Trump, I'm going to make it big and you'll be sorry.
{fade to black. Produced by Mark Burnett}
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@Sumireko said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
I'm going to seriously apply. Wish me luck. I'll post what happens (with PI stripped, of course).
All hail Sumireko, the new Czar of IT at Muslim Safety Camp #1774!
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@Sumireko said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
I'm going to seriously apply. Wish me luck. I'll post what happens (with PI stripped, of course).
"Seriously"? Seems more likely to be "for the fun of it", but what do I know, anyway?
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@xaade said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
This seems like some interns work that was forgotten about.
- It's been updated very recently. When Trump had to release the call out of his phone call with Putin. You know, because legally he has to.
- Trump stoutly refused to prepare for transition, or let anyone on his team prepare for transition, because it might "jinx" the election. None of the jobs things existed before Nov 9th. This is a last minute scramble to fill an entire government's worth of jobs in 44 business days.
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@Yamikuronue said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
For $500 I can have designers design me a website I then would have to implement myself, or I can have them make a wordpress theme for me and I can have my blog be done already. I know what I'm picking...
Because you aren't the next President of the United States.
And presumably, you also aren't beholden to a massive raft of privacy and security laws and regulations that, if they don't outright forbid you from running a third-party program like Wordpress and SalesForce, would at least make it a very, very, very unwise idea.
But hey, at least he isn't sending emails from a private server. :|
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@Steve_The_Cynic said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Yamikuronue said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@marczellm said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
. These are exactly the tool for the job, aren't they?
For $500 I can have designers design me a website I then would have to implement myself, or I can have them make a wordpress theme for me and I can have my blog be done already. I know what I'm picking...
Given that the wordpress blog will be riddled with security vulns and backdoors because it's wordpress, I'd say you might be better off selecting a stone tablet as your writing medium. (Hint: the one designed by the designers won't be less riddled with vulns and backdoors.)
So, the best way to make a blog website, is to just have a css file, and then have some pages with some class <div>, and type up the content of each page in notepad?
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@Lorne-Kates said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
Muslim Safety Camp
It's sad when people believe their own sarcasm...
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@Lorne-Kates said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
All hail Sumireko, the new Czar of IT at Muslim Safety Camp #1776!
FTFY.
Because freedom.
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@xaade said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
pages with some class
This is Trump. "Class" doesn't come into play.
, and type up the content of each page in notepad?
A static HTML site would have way fewer attack vectors.
Fun Anecdote! Randy Milholland, the artist who does the webcomic Something*Positive, avoided getting bit by this a while back. Since the comic started 2001, "click and install CMS" weren't exactly a thing. So he did what everyone did back then; hand-code an HTML template. He uses some old FrontPage-esque thing to maintain the template. To update the site, he adds the comic content, fixes the "next/back" links on the current page and the previous page, saves (the template gets applied), and uploads the HTML file to the server.
For years, people have said "Randy, you need a CMS. A database, a whole workflow. Surely it must be easier than what you're doing now by hand."
And he never did. He had the workflow down pat. He didn't even really need to think about it. MAYBE over time a CMS could save him some effort-- but since the comic only updates about 3x per week, why go through the trouble of finding, installing, learning and maintaining a CMS.
"But Randy, it'll be so much faster and flashier and etc"
But he never updated. The site works. The site doesn't need a ton of features. It displays a static image, and there's a next/back button. It just works.
And then one day in the late 2000s, the server that hosts a whole bunch of webcomics gets hacked. Automated hack that exploited a bug in some common CMS. Nearly all the comics get hit, and are either destroyed or serving malware.
Except for Something*Positive, and it's static files...
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@Lorne-Kates Yeah.... what I expected.
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@xaade said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Lorne-Kates said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
Muslim Safety Camp
It's sad when people believe their own sarcasm...
Yes, because it's not like multiple people in the administration have, over the past while and recently, referred to the Japanese Internment Camps as "precedence" or "reason why we can do this".
There's also a reason why #NeverForget means "don't let this sort of shit happen to anyone every again".
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@xaade said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Lorne-Kates Yeah.... what I expected.
Thank you for your insightful comment. You have added a lot to this discussion. Please, continue to make vague statements without quoting any text. You've making the world a better place.
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@Lorne-Kates Random post, because....
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@xaade said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Lorne-Kates Random post, because....
Fuck you, give me money.
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@Lorne-Kates Money me fuck, you give.
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@Lorne-Kates True
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@Lorne-Kates said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
This is a last minute scramble to fill an entire government's worth of jobs in 44 business days.
Pedantically, the vast majority of government (I'm gonna ass-pull 99%) jobs are apolitical, career bureaucrats or laborers (including highly skilled, professional "laborers" such as CDC doctors and NASA scientists) who continue doing their jobs regardless of who sits in the White House or Congress. It's only a relatively small number of policy setters and personal staff that need to be replaced, and not all of them need to be on board by Inauguration Day, since a good number won't actually get the jobs until the Senate gets around to Advising and Consenting. So still a big, rush job, but not nearly as big as "an entire government."
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@xaade said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Steve_The_Cynic said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Yamikuronue said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@marczellm said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
. These are exactly the tool for the job, aren't they?
For $500 I can have designers design me a website I then would have to implement myself, or I can have them make a wordpress theme for me and I can have my blog be done already. I know what I'm picking...
Given that the wordpress blog will be riddled with security vulns and backdoors because it's wordpress, I'd say you might be better off selecting a stone tablet as your writing medium. (Hint: the one designed by the designers won't be less riddled with vulns and backdoors.)
So, the best way to make a blog website, is to just have a css file, and then have some pages with some class <div>, and type up the content of each page in notepad?
Well, I didn't actually say that (nor, really, was that quite what I meant) but it would present a smaller attack surface.
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@Steve_The_Cynic we could pay the Mexican illegal immigrants a small wage to do it for us, then watch as that example of trickle down economics stimulates the US economy to make America great again.
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@HardwareGeek said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Lorne-Kates said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
This is a last minute scramble to fill an entire government's worth of jobs in 44 business days.
Pedantically, the vast majority of government (I'm gonna ass-pull 99%) jobs are apolitical, career bureaucrats or laborers (including highly skilled, professional "laborers" such as CDC doctors and NASA scientists) who continue doing their jobs regardless of who sits in the White House or Congress. It's only a relatively small number of policy setters and personal staff that need to be replaced, and not all of them need to be on board by Inauguration Day, since a good number won't actually get the jobs until the Senate gets around to Advising and Consenting. So still a big, rush job, but not nearly as big as "an entire government."
I read somewhere, a while back, that it is something stupid like the new President and/or his transition staff selects around five thousand people. Still smaller than a whole government, but larger than I'd normally expect.
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@xaade said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Steve_The_Cynic said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Yamikuronue said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@marczellm said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
. These are exactly the tool for the job, aren't they?
For $500 I can have designers design me a website I then would have to implement myself, or I can have them make a wordpress theme for me and I can have my blog be done already. I know what I'm picking...
Given that the wordpress blog will be riddled with security vulns and backdoors because it's wordpress, I'd say you might be better off selecting a stone tablet as your writing medium. (Hint: the one designed by the designers won't be less riddled with vulns and backdoors.)
So, the best way to make a blog website, is to just have a css file, and then have some pages with some class <div>, and type up the content of each page in notepad?
There's this thing called a Static Site Generator...
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@Arantor said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Steve_The_Cynic we could pay the Mexican illegal immigrants a small wage to do it for us, then watch as that example of trickle down economics stimulates the US economy to make America great again.
What would make America great again, would be to put balls on people so they stick to their guns. Teach everyone to respect the fact that other people have different ideas. And get politicians that actually do what people vote for them to do, for better or worse.
This half-assed system is letting the politicians to bullshit their way into office, do whatever the fuck, and then bullshit out. All because people are scared that the other side will actually accomplish something.
Yes. You'll lose. It will happen. Accept it. And from your perspective, terrible things will happen. But the approval rate will be up, and more people will actually be happy with their government in the long run.
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This is exactly the kind of quality I expected from a reality TV star who accidentally became POTUS. Looking forward to laughing, from a significant distance, over the next 2 years (when he will get impeached for doing something stupid).
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@xaade said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
put balls on people so they stick to their guns
If you stick to your gun, you aren't cleaning it properly.
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@xaade said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
And get politicians that actually do what people vote for them to do, for better or worse.
That's not how democracy works, however.
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@Rhywden Well, it's technically not a democracy anyway.
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@xaade And that follows from what weird definition of democracy you seem to be labouring under?
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@Rhywden tyranny of the majority.
The democracies of the past.
etc.
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@xaade said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Rhywden tyranny of the majority.
The democracies of the past.
etc.That's a non-answer.
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@ben_lubar said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@xaade said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
put balls on people so they stick to their guns
If you stick to your gun, you aren't cleaning it properly.
If your balls stick to your gun, you are doing something horrible wrong.
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@Rhywden said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@xaade said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Rhywden tyranny of the majority.
The democracies of the past.
etc.That's a non-answer.
I'm not sure what you mean by "that's not how democracy works" when you responded to my comment about getting politicians that do what they said they'd do while campaigning.
If you're suggesting other things get in the way, then those things aren't democracy.
If you're suggesting that we're solely a democracy, then that's wrong.
So, it would help if I knew what you meant.
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@xaade said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
@Rhywden said in Serve America (a shitty website)!:
I'm not sure what you mean by "that's not how democracy works" when you responded to my comment about getting politicians that do what they said they'd do while campaigning.If you're suggesting other things get in the way, then those things aren't democracy.
Of course other things get in the way. I mean, it's fascinating that you're talking about the "tyranny of the majority" and at the same time want your elected politicians to do exactly what they promised.
Which they would only be able to do by doing just that: Exercising the tyranny of the majority.
In reality, however, they're prevented from doing so (at least usually) by "checks and balances" (e.g. opposing parties, the constitution, other nations with whom exists a previous agreement, ...) which means that they'll have to trade favours and deal in compromises.
That's how politics in a democracy work. The only kind of political system where the leaders get to do what they want are dictatorships and the like.